Catholic Guilt and the Ugly Face Phenomenon

As part of the baby preparations, I emptied out my cedar/memory chest so we could move it out of the nursery.  I came across a million scrapbooks and journals.  On the first page of the first journal I opened it seemed like a confession.  I was 11 years old.  Martha threw something at Kathryn, I dropped a bottle of salad dressing into a basket of clean laundry (which I washed again), I had a spelling test and I made a bunch of mistakes.  I thought, "Man, I was hard on myself."

Then later I opened a seminary journal, I was 17 years old.  I expected to find my thoughts on whatever scripture we had been studying but as I opened it to the first page I read, "I forgot to say my prayers this morning."  I always joke with people that I'm half catholic because my mom used to be catholic.  I think this guilt I have displayed all through my life is further proof of that.  Catholic guilt is hereditary despite what Chewy may say.

So I'm 35 weeks pregnant now.  I can tell you that my back hurts no matter what I do, I pee more, I have begun to feel contractions from time to time (apparently normal), but even with all this I'm scared for the baby to actually come.  I'll be fine, I know, everyone has told me I'll do great and not to stress, but how do you not stress about suddenly being responsible for a little life that will be completely dependent on you?  Or for labor pain- yeah, how do you not stress about that?

Anyway, the emotions still run high, I am more cranky than before though my goal this week has been to be better about road rage.  Here's why.  Last Saturday, Chewy and I were at BJs.  It was cold and rainy and so he went to get the car and I stood in the lobby - people watching.  An employee was out there in the cold and rain collecting carts and bringing them inside.  He was coming down a hill in the parking lot with a whole line of carts.  A woman in an SUV starts backing out of her spot.  He waves his arm in the air to get her attention so she will stop.  She does, and then I watch as she turns toward the store watching the guy with the carts go by.  She is talking to her passenger, hands gesturing in anger and indignation and a face all like:

And of course my face went

and I thought, what an ugly face to make. Is that what I look like when I'm cranky on the road?  Therefore, I resolved to be better about my attitude on the road (and to not use my ugly face - especially when judging people for using theirs).  It's been really hard this week but I think I've done alright.  I've hit traffic every morning and I keep telling myself to keep calm and listen to my audiobook.

Our Big Adventure

The other day I waddled a little.  I don't know why, I think it made my feet feel better or something but Chewy said, "Why are you walking like that?" I shrugged my shoulders and he told me I couldn't waddle until I hit 5 months.  To which I said, "I am at 5 months".  Now I can't waddle until 6 months.

Pregnancy is going well - my whole body hurts and I think I'm growing in the front AND in the back which breaks my heart but I'm told it's apparently worth it.  The little fish in my tummy drives me crazy when he decides to move around as I'm laying down for bed.  I hope he grows out of that before his birth day.  I've started nesting - the funny thing is, I think Chewy started nesting first.  We have a small house, it works for us and we love it, but it's small and we have a lot of stuff.  So Chewy kept going on about how we needed to get organized and we need to get rid of things.  This came about because I told him he had to get his stuff out of the nursery.

He had last week off as he transitioned from his old job to his new job (today was his first day with the new one).  I took Friday off and we decided that we would go to the temple (which I had avoided since October when I almost passed out/threw up in one of the rooms).  Then we decided to buy some Corelle plates because they are lighter and will take up less space and then to IKEA to get something to help us organize.  So Chewy looked online to get ideas, then he stated that he would just want to peruse the merchandise. I felt like Tina Fey in 30 Rock:

I'm happy to report that our adventurous day turned out really well.  I made it through the temple without feeling sick.  When we went to Potomac Mills to find the Corelle outlet store we decided to brave it and just park and walk into the mall and pray for the best.  We walked in and the store was RIGHT THERE.  It took us maybe 20 minutes tops to pick out some dishes and check out.  Then we went to IKEA.  We walked through and looked at two wardrobes - picked out the one we wanted and then went to look at desks.  We stopped at the cafe and Chewy got to try the meatballs he'd heard so much about and then we went to the warehouse and picked up the wardrobe (we worried the desk wouldn't fit).  All in all it went well and I didn't worry about our marriage....then it came time to load the furniture into the car.  For a moment there, I worried - it was completely my fault, I snapped at him.  I quickly apologized and resolved that we should be a team and not let IKEA get to us.  

On the drive home, Chewy kept saying what a positive experience we had.  He overall liked the shopping experience and kept talking about the well run operation...then he started to put the wardrobe together.  

The compliments went away and he started to ask if I thought the employees there were lackluster and/or weird.  He may have said ‘hate’ in reference to particle board (which he knew it was going in).  Near the end of assembly, Chewy realized that two pieces were put on incorrectly; they belonged on the opposite sides of the wardrobe.  This didn't help his once high opinion.  The Swedes need to use words, or even just letters, to help people know that two identical pieces belong on certain sides.  We made the switch, which turned out easier than he thought and then the wardrobe was done.  I’m extremely happy with it and I think Chewy is too.  It has helped us to get our room more organized and to allow for the extra stuff in the room since Chewy had to move all of his clothes and shoes into the room to make room for the little fish.

Next up - the first of probably several Goodwill runs.

You're gonna scream your guts out, you'll be so happy.*

As some of you may recall, my CamelBak broke when I was hiking around in the Grand Canyon in September.  I was heartbroken - mostly because I love my CamelBak.  I ended up taking it to REI because I had another hike planned and I needed a new one and several friends had told me to take it back to REI (where I purchased it a little over a year ago).  I kept telling them, "but I don't still have my receipt" and they all said it didn't matter.  So I took a chance on an unknown kid* and took it in.  I figured, all else, maybe I could buy a new pak without the bladder (since that was still good).  The lady at REI was so helpful and she went and got the exact same pak I had (yay!) and replaced my broken one with the new one....for free!  I was thoroughly impressed!

So then I blogged about the last hiking day in Arizona when the CamelBak broke.  I got a comment from a nice lady, Claudia, in the PR Department for CamelBak asking me to e-mail her because they would like to replace my CamelBak.  I e-mailed her back and informed her that REI had already replaced the pak for me but that I was very impressed and grateful that she reached out to me.  I told her that I was very impressed with both companies for their customer service! I mean - they read my blog post and wanted to replace my broken CamelBak - I didn't even have to go to them!

Claudia wrote back letting me know she was glad I was able to get my pak replace without any issues but also let me know that if I ever have issues with my pak that Camelbak has a "Got Your Bak" lifetime warranty! So if I have more issues with mine, then I know where to go.  I thought that was where the e-mails would stop, but the next day she e-mailed me asking for my address to "keep me posted on the latest news and products".  I gladly gave her my address because I'm impressed with CamelBak and wanted to know what else they have. 

Yesterday when I got home, there was a large box on my porch.  On the side was written "CamelBak".  I took it inside and opened it up and here's what I found!

I was seriously geeking out - it's the nicest thing any company has ever done for me (since they obviously topped REI on this one...but REI is still a close second). 

This pak is legit - I haven't tested it out on a hike yet (since I just got it last night) but it has extra cushioning for the back (I'm really excited about this actually cause on the long hikes you start to feel it).  I can't wait to get this thing out on a hike - who's in?!

Ew, dandelion, must be the last one of the season.*

Okay - this one is older - I was worried I would have gone on another hike before I posted about the last one of the season.

We decided to get one more hike in for the season - so before people began leaving for Christmas, we went to Old Rag one more time. I apologize in advance - at this time I couldn't find my camera so my pictures were taken with my phone (so that means they might not be good AND there won't be many).

Stephanie and Renee trying to keep warm in the parking lot while we waited for the others to arrive.
Zach - doing the "fearless leader" pose. He was like this until he ripped that shirt on a rock - then he became a big baby and kept lamenting the shirt.

Ben led us off with some...yoga I think. He called this the Tree Stump

Then we stopped at one point to replenish our calories and we had a touching moment with the gnome - Renee is singing in the background - I hope you can hear it.

Old Rag may be a hard hike at times (especially the rock climbing when your fingers are frozen and you don't have gloves...) but it is by far my favorite!

It was so cold that we found thick sheets of ice at the top. I don't know if you can tell, but Renee and Stephanie are holding it up in front of them.

And just in case you couldn't see it - they are now attempting to eat it.

Ben was being a dare devil and jumping from this one rock that made most of us nervous - unfortunately the picture doesn't do it justice - he just looks like he is stepping off it.

I think the weather and my schedule (and my new found fatigue) will keep me from hiking in the spring - but I do hope to return to it soon!

Don't antagonize her - I love a happy medium.*

Here are pictures from the hike a few weeks ago.

This video is of my friend, Ben (a.k.a. Brother Ben) he is talking about the extinction of some tree. It's a little hard to hear him because Zach is right by the microphone, but I thought Ben's improve was great.

Pictures - in no particular order

Erin and Christian racing uphill.

Zach feels that no hike is complete until he gets a picture of holding my hand.

After Kami took the picture of Zach and me she wanted Ryan and me to take a real one.

Me - beating Zach when he's down. Kami says it's because he held my hand.

Cam wanted proof that he was on a hike - since apparently hiking is a white person's activity. A funny story - the same day that we went hiking there was a 50 mile race (yes, a 50 - on foot - race). Cam and I were coming up one steep part of the hike and moving out of the way for runners. There was this black guy running towards us, he ignored me and looked right at Cam and was like, "What's up?" Cam, like a little school girl, said, "Hey," and then proceeded to giggle and said to me, "he just made my day." I thought maybe I didn't hear the guy right and he said something else to Cam, so I asked Cam what he said that was so funny. Cam said, "Nothing, but he was a black guy running." So I said, "Well Cam, you probably made his day too, he saw you and said, "it's a black guy hiking!"

I loved hiking with Cam

Ryan

Ryan and me on top of a rock - I tried to take our picture with the view in the background and the sun kept messing with us so Lauren (who is very short) took our photo).

Some of the view behind me. The trees had already lost a lot of leaves by the time we went hiking...maybe next fall we'll get them sooner.

Ben and Zach from "Two Guys and a Gnome"

Bryce, Ben, Zach and Ryan. Bryce was told to play the fiddle, Ryan was told to look like he was in deep thought, and Ben and Zach looked at nothing and pointed.

We had about 17 people on the hike - so naturally (and I mean this in that it was unplanned but kind of naturally happened) we divided up into two groups. This is group A.

We all crammed on to a rock while waiting for group B to arrive. I had to hold on to a tree and lean back just to get this photo.

That's it! Hiking is probably over and done with for 2011 - but hopefully I'll go on more hikes in 2012!

Well... yeah... you put one leg in front of the other over and over again really really fast.*

The half marathon is this Saturday...gulp. I live with constant anxiety and plan to until Saturday afternoon. I don't even know where to go to get my packet cause my sister isn't running with me and she always tells me where to go - guess I'd better look in to that.

This past Friday I ran 10 miles....straight. I mean - I more so did a jog/shuffle thing, but I didn't walk. That impresses me if I don't say so myself. I bought myself one of those runner belts - the kind I looked at last year and laughed (the 8k I ran last year was the same day as the half and full marathon). I thought, "Who would ever run so long that they'd have to wear a fanny pack just to make it through?" Well - I am here to say that it really helped on my ten mile jog. It's interesting how your body picks up after a few sips of water.

Of course - I went on a hike the next day - probably not a good idea. It was a bit harder than it should have been. I will post about my other adventures soon - we are getting to the end of the busy season for me; the end of pottery class, the race, the Harvest Ball. Then I can finally relax a little...right?

And I'm sitting here on Capital Hill.*

Yesterday I got into politics.


It turns out that even things as glamorous as Politics have their ugly sides - like getting up at 5:30 in the morning (the thought still makes my stomach turn).

Marissa came and picked me up at 6:00 AM and we started our adventure to Fairfax, VA. We saw Eric Cantor's (correct me if I'm wrong Marissa) little caravan - just proving that they all have to get up way too early.

I learned about Slug Lanes - okay, so I heard about Slug lanes - I still don't really get them. But I am going to investigate them (if I remember). Maybe I'll post about this (maybe I'm the only person who has never heard of this before).

Once we got to Fairfax, we stopped at a McDonald's to get something to eat. The kid at the register asked me what I would like and I said, "Sausage biscuit." Then I realized that there may be a certain way to order these - I haven't really eaten breakfast from a fast food place in so long, so I kept talking, "is that the right way to order it?" and he was like, "huh? do you mean from the dollar menu?" The dollar menu? I don't think McDonald's had a dollar menu the last time I went, but a dollar sounded good so I acquiesced, but not before I felt super stupid for not having the confidence sufficient to order a dollar sausage biscuit.

When we got to the event, Marissa introduced herself with a whole tongue twisted name/title/location kind of thing and then there was me...Just Jess...so I started to introduce myself in new ways, "I'm Jessica with Marissa P.", "I'm Jessica, Marissa's assistant". Then we got to work. Marissa gave me a clipboard, my job for the day would be to get signatures on a petition to put Mitt Romney on the ballot. Which - as it would seem - he is not on the ballot yet, each candidate needs a certain number of signatures to be on the ballot (note to self for when I decide to run as an independent party). Let me just say - getting people to sign a piece of paper is NOT a strong suit of mine. I don't really like talking to strangers but in person beat over the phone so I took the clipboards and went to stand on the sidewalk with the sign wavers.

I had a good time - once I got more comfortable - and I learned a lot. My favorite part by far were the little old ladies who are very involved in politics. They were very opinionated and I couldn't shake the feeling that I was in a crowd akin to a Twilight crowd - except it was old women and politics as opposed to young girls and Edward Cullen...okay - correction, Twilight as a whole. Their talk was the crazed talk of Twilight fans - there excitement to see this man

(Mitt Romney in case you don't know)

was equal to that first moment in the first movie on opening night when Edward Cullen first appeared on the screen (don't act like you don't know what that was like - and don't judge me for knowing what that moment was like....it was peer pressure).

But yes, the main attraction of the event was that Mitt Romney came to Farifax. It was cool, I've never seen anything political (live - I've seen stuff on TV). My desire to not treat people like celebrities kept me from trying to shake his hand, even though this kind stranger gave me tips and offered to be my wing man so I could get in and get the once in a lifetime picture...I just couldn't do it. So - I finally figured out the zoom on my camera and took pictures from a distance instead.

Overall - I had a good time. Once I got comfortable (and once they gave me Romney stickers to hand out) asking people to sign a petition wasn't so difficult. I got to meet a lot of interesting, politically charged people. Because of the clipboards Marissa had given me, everyone thought I was in charge, including some international news crews. I was asked at least 3 times if I was Iris (who I later got to meet - she was in charge). I just began to explain that the clipboards were deceiving, I was not in charge - but I could point out someone who was. It was funny to me that people kept thinking I was in charge - when I am so politically immature that I didn't even know what our Governor looked like until yesterday...oops - I probably shouldn't mention that.

Now I just need to pick up my copy of "Politics for Dummies" so I can start to catch up to the people I met yesterday.

Well the buzz from the bees is that the leopards are in a bit of a spot. And the baboons are going ape over this.*

This weekend I finally got to go to Carter Mountain with "the Fam" (and by Fam I mean the Rowland sect of the family - since no one else came). I love this tradition - even if the drive is much longer than the actual time spent there. The apple cider doughnuts are well worth it (and this year - the gallon of Apple Cider was pretty worth it too). Plus - I get to spend time with the Rowland clan - who wouldn't be happy about that?? So...here are some photos.







Ava cried and cried while waiting in line for the hayride, she wanted to get down and walk around. But once she figured out what was going on she was so giddy - it was great!

That's because you are stupid*

This weekend I had the chance to go to Lexington, Virginia. Lexington is about two hours west of Richmond. It's home to VMI and Washington-Lee College, and is very close to Southern Virginia University (question - do most states have so many colleges and universities packed together?)


I saw a deer, in the daylight, on the side of the road...still alive! I also saw a dog and cat chilling together. I ate ribs for the first time too. (hmm - those contradict each other - sweet animals, living in perfect harmony and then me eating ribs...)


Friday night - Ryan and I went to see "The Wizard of Oz" at Southern Virginia University. The director has seen Monty Python on stage where they had as few actors as possible had a twist to it and so he worked with the actors and they came up with The Wizard of Oz...with a twist. There were 9 actors, the scene changes happened right before our eyes, their was a comedic twist. Nothing from the movie script was changed (though there was an addition or two). It was the way they said the same words that just made it so funny. The actors even sounded like the characters in the movie - especially Dorothy - she did a great job!


She even looks like her! This is the only picture I could find. Toto was a hand puppet - usually attached to a girl in a black outfit but sometimes just carried under Dorothy's arm. I loved the Tin Man - I think he was my favorite. Mostly - I was completely in love with the whole thing. I think they did a fantastic job!

Saturday I got to tour Lexington - which is pretty historical. I walked around Washington-Lee and VMI and they both have museums so we went in those. I got to see a stuffed horse (sorry - no picture). I also got to see Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson's graves. Here are some pictures. First from Washington-Lee







Then VMI (Virginia Military Institute):


And then Stonewall Jackson's grave:


Best official sign of the weekend (doesn't sound very mature does it?)


And finally - what I could see from Ryan's driveway...I thought this was pretty cool. This guy and I bonded - I mean - look at the eye contact

So that was my weekend in Lexington. Coming Soon - Dad's Birthday dinner.