He's a bad, bad man.*

I forgot to congratulate Ashley for getting the "About a Boy" blog bucks from two post ago.  Good work! I love that movie too!

Yesterday's post title is still available!

As for today's title - I think it's fitting for the post :)

I have an issue with necklaces. That is - I have outgrown my jewelery box (I out grew it years ago).  I have been wanting to do something with my necklaces to make it easier to see my options and to keep them from getting tangled. 

I had a left over piece of wood from when my dad and I built the extra shelf in the laundry closet.

Then, Vivienne and I went to Lowe's and bought hooks, spray paint, and a picture hook. (Total cost - about $11 and I have plenty of leftover supplies for other projects).

I put the picture hook on the back first, since it involved nailing and I didn't think that would be easier with a bunch of hooks on the front.  The front hooks were probably the hardest part, and that's only cause they hurt my fingers when it got tight.  That's when the pliers came out. 

Then it was time for the paint.

Two coats later - it was ready for the wall.  Vivienne and I tried to decide the best place for it - and since it seemed to fit so perfectly next to my bathroom door - that's where we put in the nails.

We were pretty excited - high fives and hugs all around.  I'm not gifted with crafty things - so this was big victory for the Lildonbro house.

I heard he wears make-up.*

I have found a new love.

Spray paint

When I painted the roommate's bathroom, I kept thinking that the little white cabinet on there wall needed something more.  It certainly needed a bath, but I'm also not a fan of things being painted white (didn't realize this until recently). 

Forever and day ago, I bought a can of brown spray paint to spice up that little cabinet.  I came home, put it in the laundry closet and then forgot about it...completely.  Until this weekend, I was cleaning up said laundry closet and noticed it (it was in plain sight too...).  So I got the screwdriver, took down the cabinet and went out back to paint.  It was stinky, and I thought I would kill myself with the fumes, but it was a lot of fun.

I let it dry for a good long time, then I put it back up in the bathroom on Sunday night.  It's on there straight, the phone taking the picture might be a little off....I really need to find my camera, I miss having a flash.

Maniacal laugh! Maniacal laugh! Maniacal laugh!*

My dad gave me a schedule for my exterior painting - the porches before winter, the house when the spring comes. So I spent two Mondays painting porches. Luckily for me, Ryan offered to help out. Not only did the job take longer than I thought (two days rather than one) but my dad said to get a wire brush to get the dirt off. To me, this means "sweeping" the porch with the wire brush. To Ryan it meant probably what my dad meant, give it a good hard scrub.

So...that became Ryan's job.

Ryan scrubbed, then I came up behind and started painting. At one point he took on the job of cutting back the grass that had grown up by the steps...good thing he did it too because he found a nice little friend. A black widow spe-i-der!* He could have died! If I had been cutting back the grass and come across any spider I would have screamed, come down with a case of shivers and gagging, and called it quits for the day. As is, Ryan secured the area and I kept painting.

Then the next week we painted the front porch, he was cutting back grass again and wouldn't you know? He found another black widow! When we finished painting, I went around to both porches and sprayed a bunch of spider killer. I could gag now just remembering the spiders.

Here are some pictures. The porches were a "beautiful" rusty red (no clue - I don't have a refined color palette like some people). You can see the wear and tear a bit.


We went with a Super Sonic Steel (or some 's' word meaning fast!)Can you feel the wind in your hair?


Side Porch Front Porch

Will everyone just calm down! For the love of God and all that is holy, calm the hell down! *

I'd like to introduce you to the newest member of our family.

Meet Troy:

Ole' Faithful passed away the morning of May 21st due to complications of the...filter or some kind of valve or what have you. He was a good lawnmower, he had last a long time, and he had been free to me. He may run again some day, but summer and grass waits for no man (or woman or lawnmower).

It was time.

So the young, new whippersnapper joined our ranks and took Ole' Faithful's place in the work shed. He started up on the first pull of the string and he cut the grass quite well. Now if only his cousin, the weed whacker would get here, then maybe my lawn would really look nice.

Cows! I hate cows worse than coppers!*

Today I saved my dad's life...okay, okay - in all reality I only caused him to get a muddy bum. Here's how it went down.

My dad and I made plans to get up bright and early and take down the filtration system in my backyard. No longer having a well = no need for this big, heavy, eyesore in the backyard. I thought it would be easy. Get the truck, cut the filtration chords, go to the dump, return the truck, job well done. Let's eat.

First Wrench - I slept until 8:30 coupled with Dad making waffles at his house at 8:30. We are already 30 minutes behind on our tentative schedule.

Second Wrench - Dad's got three kids (four if you count Sam asleep in her room) all by himself.

Third Wrench - Dad's got to make two trips because he's got to go back and get Sam before 11.

Fourth Wrench - We turn off the power and water to the filtration system and then realize that the water still comes up through the pipes, through the filtration system, back under the house. We can't just remove the filtration system, we have to figure out how connected it is and then fix it.

So we (and by 'we' at any point in this entry I mean my dad - but I watched...most of the time) start sawing PVC pipe and taking down the Rubbermaid shed that held the filtration system. I ran to Lowe's and picked up some PVC elbows and exterior electrical boxes (don't I sound handy?!)

I did have a good idea though. After we (dad) removed the Rubbermaid shed there was a large patch of mud right where we (dad) would need to kneel. I looked at the fence gate I took down a few months ago and said, "How about a piece of fence?" Genius Jessica. Insert "Dad Praise" here. He puts the wood down and sits, getting to work.

That's when it happened, this muddy bum business (MBB). I was standing behind Dad when I something large and black caught my eye five feet eleven inches below. A FREAKING HUGE SPIDER! The size of the spider didn't bother me as much as the sheer size of its bum did (I later explained to Dad that this is what the kids today mean when they say "junk in the trunk" - instead of actually having junk in their car trunk like dad did).

"Dad," I cried out in code red panic, my finger pointing towards the spider but at the same time my arm itching to get further away. I wondered how high that spider might be able to jump. "Oh Dad, spider." (Yes - college graduate here, and worth every penny). "Dadddddddd, Spiderrrr!" I cry out, pointing as the spider lifts one of its shiny black legs towards Dad's shirt, I stood mortified, afraid that if the spider made its way on to Dad's shirt I would have to act...and acting meant in some form or fashion touching the spider. Whether with the flick of a finger, kicking with my shoe, or grabbing a stick...somehow I would come in contact. I needed Dad removed from this situation and I need it done RIGHT THEN!

At this point Dad is trying to move but he doesn't know exactly where the spider is, his college graduate daughter is broken and can't even think fast enough to tell him whether it's to the right or to the left. He feels his life is in peril by the sound of my voice, he senses the urgency of the moment. I watch in horror as his hand begin to move right, then left, hovering in the air, ready to land at any moment...his right hand is just above the spider. I can't have him touching the spider - I might throw up. I can't get the words though, sounds like, "Uh, um, er," spill out of my mouth like some "hot and cold" game. In the mess of it Dad's hands or feet or possible both slip. His back end comes off the fence and lands on the muddy ground, while I am happy to report, his hands land away from the spider.

"Sorry," I say as I watch the spider, still pointing.

Dad picks up a shovel and scoops up the spider, tossing him further away from me. Because he is such a good Dad he doesn't let the spider off the hook (knowing I will not be able to sleep if he lives - I've been traumatized by the size of that spider's butt). He takes the shovel and cuts the spider in half. Let that be a lesson to any boy who tries to mess with me...my dad will cut you in half...maybe, if not, my brother-in-law will.

So that is the story of the soggy bottom dad.

Now they know that we know that they know that we know!*

I was hoping that today's post would be filled with pictures and adventurous stories about having changed my shower head. My dad said that changing a shower head was super easy and that I could do it myself. Having mastered the drill and helping to put up a fence last week I thought, "I can do this!" So I opened up my new shower head and put the parts together like the instructions said to, then I looked at my old shower head. I said to myself, "I guess it just unscrews or something." So I reached up and started to turn it. The whole thing came out of the wall and I shrugged my shoulders and thought maybe the new one screwed right in to the wall. I tried that...it didn't work. So I put the old one back on and decided I would call Dad later. I then proceeded to scrub that shower (yes...I needed a nap after this because I am still feeling a little drained for my unidentified sickness). I turned on the shower to rinse the wall and the water barely came out, so I reached up and tried to twist the shower head, thinking maybe I hadn't put it on tight enough (don't worry, I turned off the water first). Then the shower head got stuck upside down in all the turning, so I tried to turn it the other way to loosen it and that's when it happened...the shower head just SNAPPED! I was a bit shocked; I just don't know my own strength sometimes.

The trip to see Dad became imperative at that moment. I took some pictures and the shower head over to my dad's to have a look. We're going to fix it at some point this week. I have another shower in the house, so there's no rush.

Later though, I was cleaning the dishes and I was washing one of the spatulas when it suddenly SNAPPED. ...for someone who is feeling weak I sure do seemed to have my muscularly arms on this weekend.

Saturday afternoon I went over to Joanna’s house and Jacob got a book about Atlas(es?) In the back of the book was a map of the world. Jacob showed me all about “Japand” (would that mean that people there are Japandas?) and “Alasisika” and a few other places. Then he walked off while Jo and I started to talk. Then Jacob came back over, pointed to a little dot on the map and says, “Is this where your boy is?” I was a little thrown off by the question, but I looked down at the map and he was pointing to a little dot, just east of Madagascar called “Reunion”. I looked up at Jo and was like, “Who taught him that?” and she said he must have just heard her talking about my “boyfriend” and just calls him my boy now. So my nephew knows exactly where Bryan is…kind of cute and pretty amazing for a little kid. We showed my parent’s later and I pointed at Reunion and said, “Who’s there?” and Jacob said, “Your boy!” …It just made me smile (3 months left btw).

Sunday my mom looked at my blood tests results. She said everything looked good except the glucose levels (which, now that I think about it, all I had had that day was a sprite right before the doctor but nothing else). So I said, “That’s it, I’m giving up sugar!” which was immediately followed by responses from all three of the peanut gallery.

Mom: No you’re not

Kat: Don’t forget your cookies

Jo: Don’t forget your peeps.

Me:…Alright! Alright! But I’m cutting back.

Is it any wonder I can’t give up sugar for good? I get NO family support in this!

No, give me a noble mission, father.*

Another busy weekend under my belt. I feel very productive/exhausted. Almost too tired to write, but I do like writing. Friday night I went up to the Temple. I was going to go Saturday but I really needed to work on my fence. So I left work at 4 on Friday and drove up, barely hitting any traffic and getting home around 11-11:30. Saturday morning I woke up early and ran 4 miles, then went and got my oil changed, and then I met up with Dad so we could get down to business, fence business that is.

We went to one of my favorite places (Lowe's) and purchased supplies for four, 6 foot segments of vinyl fencing. I have to say, I like the idea of having a wood fence for a privacy fence, but the vinyl quickly grew on me.

This is the first hole that Dad dug for the post. Notice all that water? It rained a lot this past week I guess. I saw the hole and said, "So that's what my well probably looks like!" ...Gross.

Dad working on the first section of the fence.

Finally Dad gave me something to do and once I got the hang of it I really went with it. It was so much fun. I measured first where to put all the brackets, then I drilled holes for the screws, then I screwed the brackets in to place. After the fence was up I also drilled holes and screwed some other part of the fence.

Me, drilling the holes. I'm still geeking out about how cool this is (for me).

Just so you know, Theo was there and he wanted to take pictures, that's why I have so many of me working. Plus, why wouldn't I want to document this awesomeness?

The first section of the new fence...only a few more dedicated Saturdays (and budget) to go.

Now my fence reminds me of a black and white cookie, but this is also a cool way to see a before and after. The new vinyl fence to the left and the "original" fence that came with the house to the right. I feel good about this.

Sunday I kept sneaking a peek out my back window at the fence. I think it's safe to say that I'm a little bit in love.

We're going to play a wonderful game called... "Who is my daddy and what does he do?"*

This past weekend was very busy for me...okay, Saturday was very busy for me. Friday night Amber and I went and hung out with Marissa and Lori. I love these girls. They may think I'm a bit over the top in weirdness now...now that they know I make up diseases for myself. We planned an awards banquet for our basketball team (details to follow in this post).

Anyway, on to Saturday!

17th Annual Shriner's Pancake Breakfast

No pictures...sorry. We had our 17th annual pancake breakfast, which in reality is probably our 5th? Maybe? We throw out random numbers each time. And it's not even annual, random would be a better world. This time when I made the Facebook invite I added at the end that this was a real event because in the past I have gotten e-mails asking if it was real or not. So having put that, one of the girls I invited wrote on the wall and asked if we were making donations. Cause Shriner's do that...I laughed and apologized and explained that the event was real, but not that real. In others, the pancakes will be real, the lineup of deceased guest speakers are not, and we are not actually affiliated with the Shriner's...oops.

I wouldn't say it was a huge success, but we had our food, and we had fun. My favorite was the Jesse showing up around 2 p.m. long after the pancakes were gone. It was a nice gesture though, I'll give him that.

Moving on.

1st Annual Chippenham Women's Basketball Awards Banquet

Thursday night it was decided that we would have an awards banquet with...awards. Marissa and I decided that it needed to be in a public place, because something about being in public just screams 50% more fun. So we made it to be Cici's because 1. It's cheap. 2. You can't go wrong with pizza. Unless you have a girl on your team who is allergic to cheese...oops again. BUT CiCi's will make a cheese less pizza! Okay, now on to pictures (I swiped these from Ashley because I forgot my camera).

Carolyn with her "Best Shot" award

Lori with "The Squeezer" Award (she would just squeeze right through two opponents who were trying to block her way.

Ashley and Drew (and me)
Ashley with her "'Sock' it to 'em" award (I'm pretty proud of that one) She wore crazy socks at our second and final 'win'
Amber, Lori and me presenting the awards...right there in the middle of CiCi's

We had lots of other awards, such as the "White on Rice" award presented to Erica for her incredible pressing skills on the court. There was "Minute Ballah" and the "Not Afraid to Use What God Gave You" awards. It was a lot of fun, but felt pretty short lived. If I am playing next year I think we shall do this again at the end of the session.

The Fence - First viewing

Hello neighbor...

I looked at some prices online and it turns out that Dad went to the store on Saturday and priced out some. We figure I'll change out a little bit here and a little bit there until the whole yard has a nice new fence...and then it will be time for something else to break.

Let's have an intelligent conversation here: I'll talk, and you listen.*

The water is coming! The water is coming!

My home has been without water since December 16th.


I signed papers on December 17th for the county to come and bring the water line to my property line. I got three quotes from plumbers about connecting from the water line up to the house. I picked my plumber, signed papers with them but still had to wait on the county. FINALLY, after almost a month, they are at the house as I write (my dad went and spied on them - Thanks Dad!)

I called the plumbers this morning to let them know that the county was doing their part and the plumbers are scheduled to be there tomorrow morning (ahem...snow and sleet and freezing rain...it would be in your best interest to not come as predicted but to hold off until I get my water!)

I.
Am.
Excited.

I think the first thing I can going to do is clean my bathroom and run the dishwasher. Oh the little things.

Put the cookie down!*

In case I haven't said this, I am not staying at my house right now. Last week the well water went from dirty and sporatic to completely nonexistant. I spent the first night at Kathryn's house (last Wednesday) then Thursday it snowed so I decided if I'm going to get snowed in I'd like to be snowed in with my nephews and my niece so I moved on over to Joanna's house. I have kind of just moved in, which I kind of feel bad about. B.I.L. Ben tells me he's glad I'm there, I keep his wife company. I try to do my part, I snuggle with Ava all the time, play with the boys when I am not feeling old, scratch Tommy's back when he tells me to. I have changed diapers, gotten them ready for church (NOT easy), grabbed countless cups of milk and juice, collected countless empty milk and juice cups. I just still don't feel like I have made up for eating everything, taking over Ava's room, doing my laundry, etc.

But I have to say, I really do love being there. Sure...10 o'clock is going to bed late. I won't judge, I could use the sleep.

Anyway, just thought I'd give you that update as well as share some pictures of what I have been up to. Enjoy.

The snowman

Bushes covered by snow and lights.

No girl wants to marry a doctor who can't tell if a man's dead or not!*

I had a crazy dream last night. I was being chased by a bear. I wouldn't say that the bear was charging me or anything but even in my dreams, a bear isn't really something I want to get close to. I would move and the bear would follow. I would move faster and the bear would get faster. It was scary for Dream-Jessica, being stalked by a bear. I eventually ran up the stairs of the porch my Dream-Home (a cabin in the woods, who would have thought) and four dogs jumped up, they let me through and then kept the bear at bay. I woke up with an uneasy feeling, the kind of heart racing only dreams seem able to produce. I kept thinking about my dream, what's it mean? So, I did what any dreamer would do...I google three main components of my dream. Being chased, the bear, the dogs.

• Being chased - anxiety about an environmental factor
• Being chased by a bear - BIG anxiety...usually overwhelming obstacles or competition
• Dogs - symbolizing that your strong values and good intentions can help you conquer. They also symbolize your friends (loyalty and the such)

It was very interesting to learn these new things this morning, and kind of helps me understand Subconscious-Jessica.

So...I think the bear is the well, or lack of the well. I didn't get the loan by the way. I will get a letter of explanation, but part of me thinks I know the explanation, I haven't really had the house that long. So, I was back to square one. I was looking over the county website about connecting to the county water line and was confused on the numbers, so I decided to do the unJessica - I called. I was scared, I always sound like an idiot with these types of things (like I did with the well people).

The phone was answered quickly and I thought, "That's nice"* but it was a false sense of security. I was quickly "transferred" and then transferred again. But I finally got to speak to one lady and I told her that I was looking into connecting to the county line but I had a few questions about the pricing page on the website. From there we got to talking about my options and it turns out that I don't have to pay the amount in full before they start to do the work...wha?? I guess somewhere along the line my sources misunderstood. So I am going to speak to Katie in financing and we are going to discuss doing this sooner rather than later. And there's no penalty to pay the county back early, so should I get a hefty bonus and decide I want to just get rid of my debt to Henrico County, I could.

In other news - it's supposed to snow here tomorrow. We shall see.

This is like a moment from a horror movie.*

My well and I have a love/hate relationship. There are perks to having a well, no water bill being basically the only one that comes to mind. Some of you remember back in July my well debacle. You may also know how much it costs to connect to the county line (over $6,000 once all is said and done). Luckily, in July we were able to fix the problem by calling two different companies, one for the well itself and one for the filtration system. The total came to about $300 or so - BIG savings there. Since then, life had returned to normal, the love had been restored between the well and me.

Then came the Saturday after Thanksgiving. The water began to come out of the faucets nice and murky. So I called up Dad and we (and here I mean HE) changed the filter. We ran the water a bit from almost every faucet to help clear out the water. We thought life was to go on from this point, but then the water started to act funny...just like July. At first it seemed to just hate Elaina and when I would come around it pretended that nothing was wrong. (We call this the dancing frog syndrome). I believed Elaina of course, I was just hoping I could somehow fix the problem on my own.

Turns out there is something called a "bleeder" button on the filtration system. The fact that it is called a 'bleeder' button joined with the fact that when you push it water shoots out of it...makes me gag uncontrollably. I was hoping that would fix the problem...but, of course, that would be too easy. So the water still choose when it would come out and then it got all murky on me again. So I called the only people I know that might be able to help with this. The Well People as I call them.

They were able to come out this morning, they are here as I type and I have to admit I feel like a bumbling idiot. One of the guys asked me if there was a clog in the filter...My first thought was that if I knew that there was a clog in the filter I wouldn't have called them, I would have gotten rid of the clog. But how does one know if there is a clog in the filter? I know nothing about wells! So I stood there for a moment, probably with the deer in headlights look and finally said, "I'm not sure," smile, "my dad changed the filter." Yes...blame Dad...he's not here to defend himself. Then the other guy came back and asked if I could turn off the breaker to the well...what the?? I didn't even realize that my well had a breaker, but you know what? It makes sense. Seeing my delay he said, "in the breaker box" and that gave me time to collect myself, I said, "Yeah, sure, I think." Idiot sighting number 2. I went back to the breaker box and found one for the pump and water and I figure that did the trick because they haven't come back to say I'm a moron.

I hate having people here, I never know what I am supposed to do. It's flipping 28 degrees outside and these people are here trying to help me and I feel like I'm being ungrateful sitting in front of my space heater, blogging while they are out there losing appendages. It doesn't help that the one I interact with most has a beard and a hat...so no matter what he actually looks like I find him attractive. There needs to be a term for this...hat goggles? Beard goggles? beahat goggles...beahat goggles it is. I suffer from chronic beahat goggles.

I'm just praying that they can "fix" the well. I don't want them to come back to the door and say, "Yeah, there's nothing wrong with your well you idiot...but thanks for the laugh this morning, our facial muscles needed the workout."