Somebody's got a case of the Mondays!*

There is something that has been on my mind a lot lately.

When is the right time to say "hello" when you are walking down a hallway towards someone? I have a workstation that is smack dab in the middle of a hallway. It's a long walk from one end to the other and there are not many "exit points". So when I turn the corner at one end and see someone else down at the other end of the long, lonely stretch I am faced with a dilemma. I could smile and wave immediately, but then I am left with the "what now?" issue. I have smiled and waved and there's still too much distance between us to say anything. Do we continued to walk towards each other in silence? Nothing to say and not even an initiatory wave to fall back on? -OR- do I avoid eye contact (like I haven't just seen them) and wait until we are closer and I can smile and wave.

Then there's the issue of when you do get closer - if you have waved right at the beginning and then ignored their existence until you are right up on them, then it's strange to suddenly turn friendly again and ask how they are doing.

Even if you take that route, you haven't slowed down your walk at this point so when you are close enough an exchange like this occurs.

A - How's it going.
pass by each other
B - Good.
keep walking away from each other.

It's as though "B" said in a rush, "I'm good. No time to slow down and ask you in return!"

Sometimes it's less stressful just to walk down the hall pretending you don't see each other and then hoping you'll reach your exit point before your paths cross. I think a lot of people would agree - I mean, judging by the number of people who join me in not waving and saying 'hello', I'd say I am far from alone in this viewpoint.

It's kind of the same reason I wait to get water in the morning and miss the 8:30 herd meeting at the watering hole. It's just awkward to figure out these social things.

Kings and pawns, marshal. Emperors and fools. *

Let's play a game called, how weird and crazy can Lildonbro get!?

Also known as...

The Real Facts

Jimothy sent me a text the other day asking why I don't have a pool. I told him that there were several reasons:

• Insurance


• I don't swim


• Sharks

He understood the first two but challenged me on the whole sharks bit saying he's never heard of a shark getting in to a swimming pool (funny story, I retold this portion to my roommate and she fixated on the insurance...I pointed this oddity out to her). I kindly explained to him that sharks can travel through the underground water, swim up a well and get into a pool. Again, he challenged me on the ability of sharks to live in fresh water.

As everyone knows (or maybe you don't, and if you don't I think we're going to have more fun with this), sharks are "salt water fish". At least...that's what they want you to believe. From my understanding it's shark week - or was a week ago, not sure, I've never been with the times. To celebrate that here are the real facts about sharks -

1. Sharks are actually ambiaquatic. They have the ability to live in salt water and fresh water


2. The average shark is only afraid of two things, dolphins and gorillas. However, due to limitations of both of these mammals, they share the responsibility of shark control. The dolphins defend the ocean while the gorillas defend the land.


3. Shark life is a lot like organized crime. When a hit is called on a shark they are not sent to swim with the fishes, but rather, to sail with the marine biologists. (go ahead, google the article, it's real).


4. While sharks pretend to live mostly solitary lives, there is actually a vast social network, they try to keep it under wraps, but Finbook.com is just getting too big to be ignored.


5. Jellyfish actually do a lot of the dirty work for sharks. While it is debatable whether or not sharks come close to shore, it is no secret that jellyfish do. The jellyfish will choose a victim, sting them until they can't swim and start to sink...to a shark waiting below the surface.

I know these facts seem horrible, but it is the truth. Sharks can swim upriver as well as through the underground water source, which is why they can end up in a swimming pool in RVA...

Fun Fact
When a shark doesn't finish its human its mother will go off about how there are starving sharks in the pacific. Okay - so the truth? While sharks scare me and I never want to meet one, they are kind of pretty cool and may fascinate me a little. You have to have respect for something that doesn't actually sleep, won't care for it's newborns because all sharks are born with basic survival instincts, and can replace their teeth in less than 24 hours.

Imagine the things I could do if I had that basic skill set. Le sigh, maybe in another life.

You know how I said they had singing in Cincinnati? I lied.

I was talking to my friend the other day and I went off on a tangent (surprise surprise. right?) I started to talk about the men who shaped my "ideal man". Let's take a look shall we?

I spent quite a few Friday nights with this man:

I would love to spend plenty of Friday nights with his remake.
Besides the point. Dream Man Shaper number 2:
Ah, the next generation of Friday nights, or was it Sunday, or was it on several nights a week...childhood can be such a blur.

And last but not least:
As my friend put it, these men were the standard by which all men in my life would be judged. Handsome, adventurous, and slightly rugged men. "Don't forget intelligent!" I added, because let's be honest, all three are quite intelligent, you'd have to be to be an archaeologist/professor, captain of a space ship, and first in command of a space ship.

And some little girls only fall in love with Disney Princes.

Martin Sheen? That's President Kennedy, you idiot!*

Saying goodbye is so very hard to do.

For about four months now I have been working with this guy, Nick. I have never actually met Nick, we have talked through e-mail and on the phone, and he's accessed my desktop so we could better train remotely. He was my go-to guy for all of my questions as I learned a new timekeeping system so well that I could train all the other employees and become a little bit of a subject matter expert.

Sometimes I thought Nick was the greatest, sometimes I was disappointed with his answers to my questions/requests. Slowly, I didn't have to call or e-mail as often. This morning, I ran the end of period stuff all on my own. It was a process that started Monday (e-mailing managers reminders and checking to make sure people had their time in). I finished up this morning and when I got back from lunch I had a voicemail from Nick. He sounded pretty chipper, he was checking in on me, had seen that I ran the end of period and wanted to know how it went.

I had one question for him, so I went ahead and gave him a call. I let him know everything went well, but I had a random question for him. We went through it (I felt stupid afterwards for not finding it on my own first - but that's just how I am). He asked if I felt ready to go to tech support for my questions...this was it, graduation...moving on...letting go.

He went on quickly, saying that I could still call him if I needed to, but I would also have access to tech support if he was unable to take my call (the equivalent of letting me down easy). I told him I felt maybe I was ready, got to let go of the implementation specialist sometime, right?

Then he went on to thank me for the chance to work together and for making it pretty easy for him. I laughed because I had always felt we were probably the most complicated clients. We talked a bit more, both thanked each other, and then hung up.

Three minutes later he e-mailed me. Just wanted to tell me how he had found the answer to the question I had, not that I would ever need it again (it was a pretty unique situation) but thought I should know it anyway.

I thought the trick was neat, but I didn't know what to write back. I am really bad with goodbyes. I had to laugh at myself because I don't know the guy, but it's so final. It won't be, "Let me call Nick" now, it will be, "Let me call tech support." Different person every time...boo. I'm beginning to think I get attached too easily.

This is almost like when I had to say goodbye to Matt at Delta Dental when we switched carriers. Except, I was a little bit in love with Matt (ignore that I never met him, he had a very attractive voice), Nick and I are just friends.

Dear Matt,

Who knows what you look like; your height, your age, anything - to me you are the most handsome dental rep I've ever worked with.

Sincerely,

Jessica with James River

I carry a pencil, I'm a lawyer, I do that!*

I have finally begun to read the Harry Potter series. I am only on the second book but I can feel something changing in me. Everywhere I look, there's some kind of Harry Potter-ness. I don't know if it's that thing where you get a new car and all of a sudden you see your new car everywhere, or if there is just an influx of this stuff.

At the store all the books are on sale, the seventh movie came out on video (and I really struggled not to buy it, I might watch it, and I told myself I can't watch it until I read it).

I even thought of the dementors today when I sat on hold for 30 minutes - not that it was the same thing, but I felt like my happiness was slowly draining from me.

So I guess it should come as no surprise that even if something doesn't say "Harry Potter" I'll find a way to make it relate. My headphones for my iPod died/are dying so I bought a new pair, a kind I haven't used before. When I got home with my new headphones I looked at the package and noticed the kid on the front and thought, "Huh, Tom Riddle."

Tell me...what do you think?

Wait, nobody has ever quoted me back to me before!*

P.S. highlight of my day...my blog was linked in this blog. For a girl who just wants to have a famous blog...this is big. Now on to the post:

Do you ever get restless? You're just sitting there and your entire body is itching to do something or go somewhere? I've got that, I'm suffering as I type from a restlessness that I can't really identify.

I think I usually get this way in the spring because for a majority of my life spring has signified the beginning of the end. All through school spring came just before summer, in college spring was when you were packing up your things to either move or to put in storage while you went home for the summer. Spring is the season of change and new possibilities and I just don't see any penciled in on my calendar and it's driving me crazy.

By the end of the month I want to have done something different and new. I know I have a trip to the Eastern states scheduled for the end of April, but it's not enough to quench my thirst I suppose. Something's gotta give, something in my day to day life needs refreshing/renewal or I need to change something. It doesn't have to be a dramatic thing, it could be painting a room, getting a new routine, finding a new "can't put it down" book to read.

I don't know, I'm just getting antsy. It's an annoying sensation, but it's not nearly as bad as the, "want to give up on everything" mood I was in a couple of weeks ago (I didn't know at the time it was because I was exhausted and sick). This is the mood that it's good to be in when you spring clean because you're ready to shed off all the old junk you've been holding on to.

Is anyone else feeling this "spring fever"?? If so, what are you doing to alleviate it? I could use some suggestions.

And I'd be watching you, like a dingo watches a human baby!*

I'm back at work today. Not really feeling 100% but not feeling sick enough to use up any more PTO (paid time off).

I had an interesting two days, most of it was spent asleep. I fell asleep about 3 p.m. on Wednesday and aside from waking up every few hours (only to fall right back asleep) I slept until 9:30 a.m on Thursday. You'd think after all that sleep I would be wide awake...and I was, for about two and half hours. Then I fell asleep again for about two hours. Then awake for two hours, asleep for two hours. Then awake...for good. I finally made myself go to bed around 11 last night.

Doc is still out on the results. I say there is no mono, I feel better today too (like I said not 100% and actually, the room is not so much spinning as just rocking back and forth slightly). We shall see.

The point of this post was not a medical update. It was something I found rather interesting and maybe no one else will. But I will say it nonetheless.

One of my tasks today is to call a lady from Ringling Bros. and Barnum and Bailey Circus. They want to put a flier up for our employees to be able to call and get discounted tickets. No cost to us so what the hey? The lady I need to contact....Glinda...where have I heard that before....hmmm...

I just don't see it as a coincidence...granted it is probably not P.C. to assume that midgets work for the circus but I've never really fancied myself as P.C.

I wonder if I just click my heels together three times the flier will just appear?

I've never taken drugs because I missed the sixties, I was an accountant.*

I've been listening to British music, I mean, at least I think it is. She's got an accent and one song is about "Londontowne" I threw the 'e' in there because I feel like Londoners write "town" as "towne"...what do I know? I'm a pompous American.

Wait - In my defense, I don't even know what goes on in my own country. So I'm not pompous anything, I'm just lazy and ig'nant.

POINT being - sorry, I have a head cold and my mind wanders when it is cold. My coworker is wearing glasses today, I don't know why he's wearing them. I tend to not mention I notice things to people so that if they are feeling self conscious they won't. It's like, "Oh, she didn't say anything, I must blend in today." But...I notice things. So we were walking down the hall towards each other and I just wanted to tell him that he is looking pretty dapper. Two things stopped me though:

1. He's married, I don't much like complimenting married men (call me strange, but I think it's smart).
2. I'm not British! (Much to my dismay, I would love to have an accent like that and refer to the bathroom as 'the lou', the elevator as 'the lift', etc. etc. etc.). I would mean it sincerely but wonder if I sounded as though I was mocking.

See my dilemma? So...I say nothing. ...and now I have the song stuck in my head.

C'est La Vie.

Wait, I'm not French!

I gotta stop hanging out with her. She sounds like a chicken finger.*

Last night was a terrible defeat in the world of basketball. This season hasn't been our best and that is alright - it's more about having fun right?

Last night was just rough on me. I haven't been feeling up to par this week anyway and last night was like the clincher. I gave up a little last night and that frustrates me, cause I don't want to be one of those people who gives up...even though I've always been one. I sat out...I rarely sit out unless I'm tired or think it's time to let someone else play. Last night I sat out because I was mad.

It's depressing for me, left me in a funk. I was directionless. Amber and I went to Wal-Mart between our game and the guys game. I walked around a little down hearted, I was looking for something to sooth the sting of defeat. There was an ache in my stomach that I was certain could only be filled with junk food. I looked over the Ben and Jerry's options, the Archer's Iced Oatmeal cookies...the Wal-Mart brand iced oatmeal cookies, double stuff golden oreos... Then - while Amber was down one aisle I aimlessly looked around and then I saw it, the snack cake aisle. I hid behind a display and looked at the Little Debbie snack cakes. As I stood there, probably creeping out several people who walked past, I realized that I was stalking the Little Debbies, I was checking out the different types but keeping my distance, not letting them know I was even interested because if Debbie knew, she'd pull me in with her Oatmeal Pies, her Fancy Cakes shaped like hearts.

I turned away and grabbed a box of Ritz crackers...that will make Debbie jealous. Amber and I walked to the other side of the store and that's when I saw them. A Little Debbie snack stand with individually wrapped snacks and on the top shelf who should I see? Giant Fancy Cakes in the shape of hearts. Pulling out all the stops I see. Suddenly I thought, "Was I stalking them or were they stalking me?"

We kept walking and we came across the Valentine's aisle, curse you Valentine's! Despite the box of Ritz crackers in my hand I ended up settling for a bag of conversation hearts, even though I told myself after the last conversation heart induced stomach ache that I wouldn't buy them anymore. But they called to me with their sweet, "Be Mine", "All Mine", "Marry Me", "E-mail me" ...how can a girl turn her back on such words of adoration? How can a girl resist a candy that is all about her, can't seem to get enough of her? I couldn't.

I know how it will go. Things will be sweet for two or three days with the hearts whispering, "I heart you", "Awe-some" and then the bag will be almost empty, the stomach ache back, and I'll tell myself not to ever, ever, buy them again...but they know I'll be back, I always come back.

Trade you a cookie for a smile!*

One of my rare responsibilities at work is to clean out old workstations (someone has to to do it otherwise how will the be clean for a new hire?)


Over the years I have found some pretty interesting stuff (and some lame stuff too like a box of tissues...woohoo).


In my own little way to keep the resigned employee close to heart (or this could be because I collect junk) I hold on to some of the treasures. Such as this:


The Krispy Kreme snow globe. Since I like Krispy Kreme I figured it fit me well, plus it's so dang cute. Had this been at home it would have probably got tossed in one of my random cleaning moods where I chuck anything that doesn't seem to be important or of any use to me. But since it is at work it's still here!


I have found a random assortment of pens, highlighters, and rulers (some really cool). I have found candy, crackers (who knows how old they are), an 8 x 11 black and white picture of some soccer mom with her feet off the ground as she gave her kids high fives (I'm assuming they are her kids). I found one of those things you squeeze to make your hands stronger and a protein shake cup. I even found a sweater once.

Note to reader - I have not kept all of this stuff!

Yesterday I found this.

I also found within myself some kind of desperation I had not known before. Apparently my goal of reading 50 books in a year has me a little nervous and I for a split second, a split second, no longer, I considered reading the book. Luckily the desperation past quickly, though the book is still in my workstation, why? I can't bare to throw away books. I will take it downstairs to the book exchange in the hopes that some person will give it a home.

Another note to readers: I don't support Nicholas Sparks (movies and/or books) mostly because, to me, "A Walk to Remember" was a sore disappointment. There was a moment in the film when he could have had me, I would have gone to the store and bought ten of his books the moment the film ended and then...he did it...he left an opportunity to make me bawl my eyes out unseized and I lost all desire to have anything to do with his story telling. ...just like the movie "My Sister's Keeper" never change the ending of a book to make yourself feel better about your movie! ...sorry, stepping off the soap box now.

So...I doubt people have the same job responsibilities I have, but maybe with roommates or something you've found strange or cool items left behind? If so, what's the strangest and/or coolest thing you've "inherited"?

You wanna throw up here, or you wanna throw up in the car? *

I was on the internet today, checking out some things...the weather being one of them. On iGoogle I have the weather up there, it shows me a little picture and tells me the high/low but that's it. No link to read up on more...just the picture. Today I saw this:


What in the world is that?! Cloudy with a chance of aliens?

Let's take a closer look:

I can't decide if the little guys from Batteries Not Included are headed towards earth or if God is making himself some eggs. Either way, doesn't really hint at what the weather will be like.

Pull my string! The birthday party's today?

I was talking to someone once (and this is a testament of my bad memory - I have no clue who it was) about why time flies as we get older. The reason time seems to fly by now that we're older is because we have more life under our belts. When you are ten years old, one year is a very long time, you've only lived for 10 years, so one year is a tenth of your entire life. The older you get, the smaller significance a year has. It goes from one tenth, to one twentieth, to one thirtieth, and so on. It makes perfect sense to me.

So it should come as no surprise that I feel like yet another birthday has come with lightening speed. Wasn't I just 19?

It seems a shame that when you are young you can't wait to grow up, and when you are grown up you wish you could be young again. Don't get me wrong, there are certain periods of life I am fine being over and done with...middle school for example. Done and done, don't remember much of it and I hope it stays that way.

I kind of miss the days of being five years old with my main concern being my sister's not wanting to play with me, but that's life. We go so long wishing to be older than we are. I didn't ask for this full time job thing, bills, and responsibility bit. I didn't ask for the stress that comes from boys, work, bills, fender benders, getting older, and major life decisions. ...I just wanted to be old enough to drive. What happened there?

However, I am happy to report that I still have no regrets. There are things in my life that make me very, very, sad when I remember them, but they are still not regretted. I can see the value in even the saddest and stupidest mistakes and for the fun ones that didn't end badly I say, "No harm, no foul, it was stupid, but it was a blast." I truly believe that even the self inflicted heartache that accompanies mistakes has taught me great lessons about myself.

The funniest thing about life is that, if you're paying attention, it teaches you how to survive the next thing coming your way. It's like when I was little and I would complain about homework or something like how difficult third grade is, and my sister would say, "You think that's hard, wait until you get to fifth grade." These things come at us little by little so we can kind of build an immunity to the bigger things coming. You wouldn't run a marathon without training right? So think of whatever you're going through as your training so that you have the endurance for race day.

And now I have completely spewed stream of consciousness...forgive me in my old age!

P.S. It's my birthday today, I'm not just randomly thinking about aging. I normally only do that on my birthday - or when I date younger men.

It's not like I wanna blow up the plane. I just want to store my bag according to your safety regulations.*

This could happen to you...

http://www.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/11/19/airport.security.issues/index.html

A member of the U.S. Airline Pilots Association described his experience as "sexual molestation," according to union president Mike Cleary.

It's true, this is all from CNN.com but even without this article, I should have mentioned in Boston Part 1 that this could happen to you. In fact, one in four Boston bound travelers feel used, inappropriately handled, and dirty after going through security.

It happened to one of our own, Caitlin got pulled aside and completely handled by some female airport worker. Certainly there was no need to touch her like that! ...Or there! Or right in front of everyone! There used to be a time that a traveler could travel with a sense of decency, and even when that was taken from us - they took those "randomly chosen" individuals off to the side where only the most observant of travelers would notice them being patted down. Now they just run their hands all over your body in front of everyone! The kid who came out of the machine after Caitlin just stopped and stood there, the look of fear in his eyes suggested that he thought they would all be subject to that, and he was next.

It was a little entertaining for those of us not involved in the "pat down" and if I weren't so afraid of the TSA taking my camera and arresting me I would have taken a picture...I did however, buy Caitlin her lunch. It is after all, a social norm for someone to at least buy you dinner before touching you in such a way and I knew that woman touching Caitlin had no intentions of buying her a meal.

Caitlin however probably didn't laugh as much as we did (which again, wasn't that much) at her experience, in fact, I'm certain she was a little unnerved by it. So reading this article made me realize what a problem we have on our hands. It also took my mind to the fact that I have 78 days until my California trip...in 78 days this could be my fate...

It bothered me in the article that someone said that it wasn't that bad it was like, "Going to the doctor for a physical." Yes - going to the doctor for a physical isn't that bad...but it's what you went to the doctor for, it was expected. When you are headed to Boston for a weekend with friends you don't expect a physical from a TSA worker without a medical background. It's offensive to people because it is not the same thing, nor should it be.

Another thing that bothered me was when the article quoted someone saying it was better than a bomb going off in the air - or something like that and it made me think of a quote I heard from Thomas Jefferson once, "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." I agree with him and I'll take my chances with too much liberty.

Somebody help me, I'm being spontaneous! *

The other day my friend said to me, "Keep your fingers crossed." I said that I would. But then I got to thinking about it. Isn't it weird that people cross their fingers for good luck but also when they don't intend to keep a promise that they are making?

So the question. If I agree to keep my fingers crossed is it because I am with you in wishing for good luck or because I have no intention of joining you in your quest for good luck...

I can again never trust people who cross their fingers for me. They're really just saying that they don't intend to keep them crossed for me.

In other news - let's talk about favorite movies.

Lately I have been thinking about my favorite movies. What are they and why kind of thing. Mostly it started because one night a group of friends were talking and one girl said that her favorite movie was "The Proposal". ...Now I haven't seen this movie and maybe I'm a snob, but I said in my mind, "For the love of all that is holy, why!?"

Then one of the guys said that his favorite movie was "You've Got Mail". Chick flicks...for guys and girls alike. So then I started to think that I must be pretty weird to have my favorite movie as "Gattaca".

A few weeks ago, while we were driving around D.C. and Northern Virginia on our impromptu tour, we played a game that I like to call Truth-or-Truth. There are many of you who have had the joy and ultimate pleasure of playing this game with me. I like this game because it's a time I don't let myself fib and I excuse myself completely for my honesty. One of the questions...er...request that Brittany made, was that we all go around and name one thing we like about each person in the car. Amber and I both mentioned to Nick that we love his nerdiness (for he is 100% nerd). Later Amber said something about throwing herself in with Nick and Jessica's nerdiness and I said, "I'm not a nerd." Everyone laughed. ...I'm not a nerd.

But then it dawned on me...I am a nerd. Let's look at the evidence, my favorite movie is Gattaca, the story I am writing is about people who develop superhuman powers (a comic book in novel form), I alphabetize my DVDs, my favorite books are dystopian novels which include: 1984, Brave New World, Children of Men, etc. etc. etc. Let’s throw in that I also like Science Fiction books. I like to project when I can have my car paid off (by making a spreadsheet, choosing a monthly amount and seeing how early I can pay it off – I also work in interest). No need to examine this further, I’m a nerd. I’m trying to convince myself that I’m a cool nerd, but I’m not doing very well with that.

Oh brother, pretty much I just wanted to ask "What's your favorite movie?"

You're not hardcore, unless you live hardcore.*

For an impulsive liar I am a lot more honest than people would think. I probably shouldn't admit that since I actually like this little secret of mine...oh well. I also like to talk, though I get self conscious about it in person (which you know has happened when I quickly say, "Sorry I talk too much" or "Okay, it's your turn cause if you don't start talking I'll keep going!"

Anyway, I was thinking about it today, wondering what to blog about. I don't have to blog everyday, but it gives me something to do and it brings my heart such immense joy (actually...comments bring the immense joy, blogging just alleviates severe, terminal boredom). I would like to get a pipeline of topics to blog about. Whether they are subjects of interest, questions for/about me, my side of the story (in case anyone who experienced something with me is anxious to read how the same memory plays through in my mind). Nothing is off limits (well, almost nothing, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there). If I don't know the "answer" I'll make something up, and while you may not appreciate it I'll find it exceptionally entertaining, and isn't that the real point of this blog? To entertain me?

Or of course - you could just not leave comments and let me know that there is nothing you want me to blog about...or more so, that you wish I would stop blogging because you only read out of obligation. Believe it or not I still appreciate obligatory and pity reads, I'll take what I can get.

Okay, so mostly this is my veiled attempt to get to know you guys and find out what you would like to read when you come to my blog. Sometimes I feel like you aren't getting what you need from my blog. I would like to fix that. Help me, help you.*

Let's Hear It For The Boy.*

Last night I was driving home from work in the rush hour traffic and I decided to stop while the light was yellow. On a typical day I would go through, being one of the last to make it through the light and then feel guilty about it because I hate when people do that. But last night I didn't do this. Plus, it's nice to be the first car, you aren't stuck behind anyone and you are just enjoying the music as you drive along. I'm glad I did that.

So I was sitting there barely paying attention to the cars rushing past us across Staples Mill Road when all of a suddenly these two guys come walking across my view pushing an orange VW Bug.

Sadly for the driver my first thought wasn't, "Oh that sucks for him" but rather I smiled...That just doesn't happen everyday. It was good to see that the woman in the turning lane next to me was smiling too. Everyone waiting at our light seemed to patiently watch them creep by, and then they were done and I was left with a view of a line of cars backed up, blocking the intersection. But no one looked frustrated, no one honked horns...it was strangely serene.

A few seconds later and the guy who had been closest to me, pushing the Bug ran back across headed in the other direction with a smile on his face. This was the first time that I had looked left, and saw a car blocking the lane, other cars moving around it. I watched as he ran to this car blocking traffic with it's hazard lights on and got inside. He took the hazards off just as the light turned red. I looked to the right and saw the man with the orange Bug sitting safely in the parking lot of the corner gas station. I smiled wider, the one man wasn't the passenger in the orange Bug, he was just a good Samaritan, helping out a fellow commuter. I wanted to take this opportunity to give a shout out to the stranger man who did a good deed yesterday and lightened somebody's load (literally). May we all have a little more courage when we see someone in need, whether it's pushing their car to the gas station or going up and talking to someone who looks like they feel out of place.

They should have a disclaimer that says "Do Not Operate Heavy Machinery While Reading This Blog.*

I have taken creative liberties and slightly altered the quote that is used in the title.

Today is the great catch up day. Actually, it's more like, "Let's put a dent in it" day. I have been bad about blogging and even worse about reading blogs, my Google Reader this morning was over 70. This shows that I haven't read in a while...or that I follow way too many blogs. I went through and clicked on the ones that I had no intention of reading, the ones that are random and to me, not real people blogging (you know what I am talking about? Like Postcards From Your Mama" or something like that).

The other day I got an Facebook e-mail from Cassie who said that she was reading the blog but unable to leave comments because of the word verification. Sad day, I thought but took comfort that she wanted to leave comments. It wasn't until today that I realize I could do something about it, especially with the comment moderation. I had started using the word verification because I didn't want that strange Asian person with their Oriental characters that link to bad places commenting on my blog and possibly spreading viruses. Word verification didn't stop him/her but it is apparently stopping Cassie, so Cassie - I am pretty sure I have turned that off now. I still have comment moderation because A.P. is still leaving weird comments, but the word verification is off. Sorry Martha, sorry Joanna, I know how much joy is derived by the random stream of letters that we try to pretend are real words.

Last night as I was driving to go play Frisbee and was stopped at a stop light I looked around at the buildings. Something about downtown fascinates me. I'll have to start taking pictures so that I can post them for all to see and then maybe someone can help me figure out what is so fascinating. I would say it's the architecture, but that's only in some parts of the city. Last night I was staring at a building for a couple of seconds before I finally read the business sign, "Adult bookstore", I immediately looked away. Great, now to all the cars around me I'm the creeper who was staring at the Adult bookstore. Isn't it funny though, they never have another name - there are tons of them in Michigan/Ohio area up by my dad's family and they all just say "Adult Bookstore" you don't see, "Martin's Adult Bookstore" no family name or anything, I mean, it makes sense, who really wants that kind of family legacy? Anyway - not the point, the point was, as I averted my eyes I looked to the other side of the street and there was Puritan's dry cleaning. I chuckled, the Puritans across the street from the adult bookstore. Why is that so funny to me?

Whoever said Orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed*

Ashley just posted on her blog about 1000AwesomeThings.com which I had never heard of before. It was a really good post and inspired me to be a little more upbeat. Sure I am still feeling the residual effects of this weekend's decision, but I am trying not to get pulled into these sad, bad, angry feelings that have swimming around inside of me. Call it trying to further suppress them, but I think I got them out enough on Sunday and then in the post on Monday. Happiness is a choice people and I am choosing to be happy.

So- inspired by Ashley's post I am now going to write about 10 (at least) awesome things:

1. Sleeping in - There is nothing better than being able to turn off the alarm clock and go back to bed (OK there may be better things but not in my mind at the moment).
2. Snickerdoodle cookies - Sugar cookies, rolled into a ball, dipped in cinnamon and sugar...need I say more?
3. A good hug - There are two types of people in this world, those who give good hugs, and those who don't. I would like to always have at least one good hugger in my entourage at all times.
4. Binding notebooks - that's my project for the day at work and I am a binding fiend. I love the feel of spiral bound books, the ease of opening them and keeping them open.
5. The smell of a new building - I used to not like this smell, but lately it's become the smell of a new beginning, endless possibility, and Lowe's.
6. Getting over writer's block - for those of you who know, I am writing a story. I am currently on book two and I hate when I get stuck. I can get stuck for weeks or even months, but I love the feeling when the fog clears and you just type and type and type.
7. Friends who think I'm funny no matter what - call me egotistical, I don't care as long as you are thinking and talking about me (totally kidding) but I love to be around people who laugh all the time, makes me feel funny, prompts me to keep going, which leads to me being happier. It's a mutually beneficial, contagious cycle I crave.
8. Followers - Yes, I love followers, I'm not going to lie and I'm not ashamed to admit it. There is some weird sort of validation in having people following your blog, even if they don't leave comments (though, comments are one step up from followers).
9. Hammocks - Seriously if you disagree then you've never laid in a hammock before. Give me a cool, summer evening with a hammock and I'll be in heaven.
10. Double Stuffed Golden Oreos - It may be time to go to lunch. But seriously...I am surprised it took Nabisco so long to realize that once they introduced Golden Oreos to the scene they should have created all Oreos equal. I should have seen Double Stuff Golden Oreos years ago, but I am not complaining, just happy they are finally here.

Thanks again Ashley for your post. Just writing this list made me happier today!

Do you have any idea how much that stings?*

I am not obsessed...okay, maybe I am a little. I watched an episode of Pushing Daises that I received from Netflix...it was about a woman getting murdered by a hive of bees...hmm. I hadn't seen it before and I didn't pick it out, it was just next up on the list, and this right after my traumatic experience. Then today I was on my iGoogle homepage trying to alleviate my boredom and one of the things I have set up is a daily "how to" (in an attempt to hopefully find things that make life more interesting) and I saw this article:

How to Escape From Killer Bees

I thought it was timely. I also learned that Bees are imports. This great land known as the American Continent did not have bees before in either it's Northern or Southern regions until the European colonists decided to bring honey bees with them. Couldn't leave well enough alone I see.

On another note, I just wanted to thank everyone for your comments, nosy e-mails, and phone calls. I really do appreciate them. Happy to report that I am doing a little better today, and hope to be doing better and better every day! Thanks again. You are all fantastic!

Every town has its ups and downs, sometimes ups outnumber the downs.*

Sometimes we are expected to do hard and difficult things that we don't want to do, that we don't think we can do. This weekend was one of those times for me. I'm not all about details of my personal and private life, I don't know if you've noticed, I hardly ever get deep on here. Pretty shallow, fun and fancy free.

But I hurt right now and I need to write to get it out. I realized yesterday as I sat in the car talking to Amber that I have been letting things build up inside of me rather than facing them. I had no clue how angry I have been because I have been suppressing it, but I am angry. I am angry at a lot of things in my life, I am angry at things that people have done to me, things I have done to myself, situations in my life...just...angry. I'm mad that I have no safe haven anymore, no place to run away to when life gets too hard. I'm mad that my AC doesn't work, that a bee stung me, and that those two stupid spiders are blocking the water filter. I'm mad that I can't understand those stupid directions to change the water filter. I'm mad that at some point in my life I stopped depending on the Lord and started to depend on people who couldn't help me.

First, let me apologize, I hate when people are vague but that's exactly what I am about to do. I had two very difficult decisions this weekend, well, I shouldn't say weekend because I have known for a while that I needed to do these things, but this weekend I knew I would go through with them. It had been putting me in a funk, I haven't really been myself lately. Sunday morning I got my confirmation (again) that this is what I needed to do.

I have a personal theme for the year, Amber does a theme each year and I liked the idea so I stole it from her back in January. I wanted something to guide my life, to have a little more purpose in the things I do. I chose the theme "Come Unto Me" (Matthew 11:28). Back in January I felt it was appropriate for me, and I have continued to feel that it was the best choice for a theme, even though I haven't done much to implement it in my life. I have ignored the things I know I should be doing because my only concern was my happiness. I don't know if any of you have read Elder Jeffery R. Holland's talk, Remember Lot's Wife, it is one of my favorite talks ever. For those of you not familiar with the story, in the Bible, Lot and his family are commanded to leave Sodom and Gomorrah and not to look back. Lot's wife however, looks back and turns into a pillar of salt. In his talk, Elder Holland mentions something about Lot's wife that resonates with me each time I listen to or read this talk. He says, "faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives. So a more theological way to talk about Lot's wife is to say she did not have faith. She doubted the Lord's ability to give her something better than she had. Apparently she thought, fatally as it turned out, that nothing that lay ahead could possibly be as good as those moments she was leaving behind."

So now my mantra to go along with my "Come Unto Me" theme is that faith is believing that what lays ahead is better for you than what you are leaving behind. Don't look back...the future is brighter. I am finally going to start working on my theme, to make it something I am doing, rather than something I am thinking. It is an act, not just something you remind yourself, and no one said that it would be easy.

Yesterday, when I followed through, I was frustrated but overall I felt at peace. I knew, despite the urge to lay on my bathroom floor and cry all night, that I had done the right thing. I have no regret, but that doesn't mean I don't feel down today, that I don't want to stay at home and cry for what I have lost, because I don't know what lay ahead. Today (and for several days to come) I will have to keep reminding myself that what is in store is better than what I was asked to give up. That's a hard thing to make yourself believe when you are in the middle of the heartache, that's why you have to keep reminding yourself, and one day, you'll know it was true.

Life is hard, no matter where you stand. There are going to be the ups and downs, the big disappointments and the little pricks of pain versus the big joys and the tiny happy moments scattered throughout. But I know that everything we experience is ultimately for our good.