But even an ordinary secretary or a housewife or a teenager can, within their own small ways, turn on a small light in a dark room.*

The teacher not only shapes the expectations and ambitions of pupils; the teacher also influences their attitudes toward their future and themselves. If the teacher loves the students and has high expectations of them, their self-confidence will grow, their capabilities will develop, and their future will be assured. – President Monson

I have had many teachers in my life. I have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly side of them. I am speaking of many different types of teachers; school, church, seminary, institute, life. While most of my teachers have been very good, there are a few who stand out to me above the rest.

The first teacher who really made an impression on me was Mrs. Chervenak. She was my second grade teacher. Mostly, she made learning fun for me. We did spelling practices on our desks with shaving cream (she may also be responsible for why I love the smell of men so much...of course, men might have something to do with that too).

Mrs. Robinson came in third grade and she taught me the invaluable lesson of not interrupting people. Sometimes I still have that childlike impulse to spout out what is on my mind, but I try to hold back, wait a minute, and not to interrupt someone else's conversation. In fact, to this day I am still afraid to interrupt adults speaking to each other...

Mrs. Hobson (and this is probably it for school teachers) was my 5th grade teacher. I had a rough year in fourth grade. I had a bully at lunch, a bully of a teacher (no joke she was almost as bad as the one my age). I was really not feeling the whole self confidence thing. Mrs. Hobson was like the burn cream in the first aid kit. She soothed the damage of fourth grade, she showed confidence in me even when I knew that my fourth grade teacher had told her not to (this is how I know: I applied to be a Safety...yes, a safety, you didn't read that wrong and on my application, which went to Mrs. Hobson, the fourth grade teacher made sure to note that I was 'unreliable'. ...Way to label someone young). I am always grateful for Mrs. Hobson because I feel like she really got the ball rolling on who I was to become as life went on (and yes, I was a Safety and I had the badge and the orange vest thingy too).

I had teachers at church, seminary, and institute as well, who have all shaped who I am.

Sandy Willis taught me great lessons on character and integrity, charity, and so much more. She taught me to judge people off their own merits, not off of what others say. She taught me that the best way to learn and grow was to leave my comfort zone. She also taught me that when things were hard and it seemed nearly impossible to go on that it must mean something spectacular is waiting on the other side of it, basically hope and to never give up. I seriously had never seen someone so happy to hear what a hard time I was having, she would be full of excitement over what must be waiting. She is still around in my life, and as I grow older and stumble around in this life she has also taught me to love people for who they are and never let that change because they slip and fall.

Sister Lansing. She was my seminary teacher my last year. Our motto was "You can do hard things". The thought of her and the memory of her voice saying these words got me through the hike to the top of Mount Timpanogos, through the first semester of college, the first months of every new job and is sure to get me through many more difficult and trying experiences to come.

Oh, I almost forgot one and I certainly can't forget him. I wouldn't have been able to graduate college on time without him! Brother Tatum (Professor Tatum?). Former Californian police officer turned Criminology Professor. I was scared to death of him the first time I took one of his classes, and I don't know what I did, but the next time I took a class from him he thought I was the greatest. Does that not make it easier to in turn, think he is the greatest? His confidence in me helped me to get through the last two grueling semesters of college. I felt safe in sharing my project ideas with him without worrying that he would think they were stupid. He wasn't completely onboard for all of them (the edible Anatomy of a Leader project I proposed, he was skeptical when I asked if I got bonus points for an edible final project - I will post pictures later) he still supported me and trusted me (and he loved my project). Also, he was my education counselor and he helped me to finagle my credits earned in my major to count for my minor (thus getting me out of school before I went nuts).

I am very grateful for many other teachers too. Like I said, I have had a lot of good ones (and bad too - luckily not nearly as many). I have felt the effects that a good teacher can have and I am thankful for all the hard work, effort, and love they put in to teaching others.

You're hot, so hot.*

I promised pictures back on Monday. So here are some pictures from the Mae concert and also some little things I have done around the house (when I say little, I mean little).

First show of Mae's final tour was at the Canal Club downtown. We tried to get a big group together, but despite Mae's beginnings being in the great state of VA, not a lot of Virginians we hang out with knew who they were. Plus it was Orin's birthday dinner - how do you compete with that? (For those of who now think I am a jerk for skipping some one's birthday dinner, keep in mind I had plans to go the concert before the birthday dinner's conception).

At one point I thought it would just be Bryant and me, but then Amber remembered that she had told us she would go. So we at least got one person to abandon the other side.

Disclaimer for my Mae picture. The lighting was horrible. I know, concerts aren't lit up or anything, but every time I tried to take a picture it would come out looking someone like this. I don't know if the lights in the back threw off my flash, or if...or what, cause I can't think of anything else.

It was a great show though. I was worried that I wouldn't know many of the songs cause I kind of pick my favorites and stick to them. But they sang a lot of my favorites so that was great. However, I think I'm getting too old for concerts, I was physically beat by the end. We got there at 8 and the first opening band was still playing (there were three) and then by the time Mae came on I needed to find a place to sit for a while. Every time I go to a concert I am like, "This is awesome!! I hope this is the last song!" But it never is, because everyone does encores now. It was expected for Mae since who knows if we'll ever see them in concert again (reunion tours). At least they only came out once and only sang two more songs. When I went to the U2 concert it was like, "Bono, come on now, three encores is a bit redunkulous don't you think?" Such is life right? ...Maybe.

So on to my teeny, tiny improvements around the house. I've only lived there since the end of February, but I finally decided to hang some stuff up on the walls. Thanks to sister, Joanna, for the donations to the "Make Jessica's house cuter" fund. These are things she used to have up in her old house, but doesn't have the wall space for them now. Ever the baby sister, I'm used to and grateful for "hand-me-downs"

I also hung up my 'Proclamation to the Family' (finally), and Amber and I found some way cute Harvest candle holders. She bought me the three gourds up top on the mantel (those little burning candles are the pumpkin scented candles from Wal-Mart. You can get a pack with three little candles and two big candles for $10...I buy at least one every year.

You can barely see it, but at the bottom right hand corner of the fire place there is a pumpkin candle holder, it holds three or four (five?) candles. I had taken a picture of just it, but for some reason I couldn't find it when I was pulling pictures up this morning.

Anyway, that's kind of what I have been up to lately.

Just bee yourself!*

Yesterday was an experiment on being positive. I think it was a success. I was in a good mood and isn't that what being positive is all about? Apparently not, apparently it also has to do with the things that you say as well. Who would have thought? Sadly though, my personality/sense of humor leads me to say things that are 1. dramatic 2. negative 3. sarcastic. A statement such as, "Trust me, you don't want to eat a handful of mini marshmallows before going running" can apparently be misconstrued as a negative statement, or so I have been told.

But yes, overall yesterday was a good day. Here's how it played out after work. I got home, ate a handful of mini marshmallows (and you thought that statement had no basis in real life) and ran three miles around my neighborhood, about a mile and a half in those marshmallows started to seem like a bad idea, then my ankle started to hurt, then my back joined in...cause I am an old woman and I am rapidly falling apart.

I got home, stretched a little to get rid of the aches, and then ate dinner. Then I went to Frisbee. This is where it gets fun:

• My teammate threw it to me and I had to run, towards a fence, to get it. Out of the corner of my eye I see my friend, Jordan (enemy team) coming for it too. He always knocks it away from me, so I mustered my courage and wouldn't back down. We reached the fence at the same time, my fingers wrapped around the Frisbee right as we ran in to each other. I fell to the ground with the Frisbee still in hand (see...positive).
• I saved a friend's catch that slipped through his fingers, only to be hit in the face with a still pretty powerful Frisbee (no bruise on the nose, just a red mark) but despite the watery eyes and feeling like my nose was broken...I still caught it (p.s. it hurts to even blow my nose today).
• I got a charley horse in my left leg.
• Then I got one in my right leg.
• I tried to help out a team member only to get knocked to the ground when they ran into me (he got it worse though, my elbow went pretty forcefully into his stomach)
• Another pass to me was headed towards the fence, so despite my better judgment I went running for it, I smacked into the fence as the Frisbee did, my fingers grazed it but it was a lost cause. I hit the fence and fell to the ground. When I stood my ankle was cramping. It was bent to the side and I couldn't straighten it and for a moment I thought it was broken. I sat a round out, stretched, forced my foot to straighten and got back in the game. (P.S. I also hit my knee).
• I broke four nails as frisbee and frisbee hit my hands wrong.
• It was an awesome game

If I thought I was an old woman during/after running yesterday I didn't realize this morning would be worse. My knee is bruised and has two red marks that look kind of like a chain link fence...it hurts to bend it today, but I'll keep bending it. I have more running and frisbee tonight so I have to get ready. Anyway, see, when I talk...I don't sound positive, but keep in mind that I think yesterday was awesome!

Kids; Can't live with them, can't shoot them. *

I packed a hearty lunch today and put it in a grocery bag. When I opened it to take out the cheese stick for my "snack" the smell coming from the bag took me back to my school days, mostly elementary and middle school. That was weird and nice at the same time.

Today's "What the mess?" moment is brought to you by the good folks of the second floor (I won't name names/departments). We have what we like to call 'the chair cemetery' it's the place that busted chairs like to go when they die...maybe it should be more like rehab, cause we can bring almost all chairs 'back from the dead'. Anyway, doesn't matter now, because today I went down there to get a count of how many replacement arms we needed for said chairs. I opened the door and was shocked to find a clean and well organized area where before there had been a veritable minefield of broken, dilapidated chairs (...Unchairs). Ever in control of my emotions my lips parted and a singular sound escaped, "Uhhhh." So I walked around a bit looking for my little unchairs, where could they be? Finally I asked someone. Turns out they called some 1-800-Junk number and had all the chairs taken away. These chairs cost hundreds of dollars, fixing the arms or the wheels would cost at most $75 each... Moments like these I wish I could spit the way I spit yesterday morning (being a camel or a llama must be so convenient for moments like these). Now I have to e-mail the chair fixer-upper guy back and tell him to ixnay on the airschay. How does one say such a message without sounding mad/ticked? So far all I have is, "Never mind on the arm counts, I went down to count and someone has taken it upon themselves to toss all the damaged chairs." ...I'll keep working on rewording it.

...and this morning started off so well.

I got a letter from Bryan yesterday and I really liked it. Mostly because he sounded like himself again. They just had transfers and in his last area he was the DL (District Leader) and his minions were stressing him out (we joke about who has more "minions" and I was in the lead). Now he doesn't have any because in his new area he is not the district leader, he's just someone else's minion. I have to say I really noticed the difference from his last letter. It was like comparing a dark, wintry day to a bright, spring one...no joke. He hurt his ankle a while back (I believe it was in basketball but he alluded to soccer in this last letter, which sounds more like him anyway). It's healing rather nicely and he doesn't have to wear the brace as much. He got to play the equivalent of Bocce Ball with some people - I looked up Bocce Ball on Google since I have never played it.

...I don't know, seems like an "old" person's game - I wrote back and told him I would hurry up with the promised adult diapers I have been meaning to send him cause it looks like he will need them sooner than I originally anticipated.

I'm a llama! I'm a llama!*

It's Monday again and it's raining again.

This weekend was really nice. I went to the Mae concert on Friday (pictures to come) - it's their final tour so I had to do it. I ran three miles Saturday morning (in training for that 8k), spent time with my family, ran a few errands, spent time with friends, cleaned my room (hallelujah!), and that's all I can remember. The weather was great; I even broke a sweat on Saturday when I was driving around. I got my oil changed (that's my big productive thing from this weekend). It was months overdue.

Last night I wasn't feeling well. From 7:30-9:30 I drifted in and out of sleep and finally at 9:30 I decided to stop fighting it. I brushed my teeth, got in my PJs, said my prayers and climbed into a nice, warm bed. Occasionally I woke up, my roommate had people over, so every once in a while they pulled me abruptly from my sleep; then my friend sent me a text message - which didn't even make sense (they never actually do) so I put on my iPod and cranked it up to block out all the little noises. I slept straight through until 7:30 this morning. The reason I woke up? You know when people have dreams where they are going to the bathroom only to wake up in the middle realizing that it was just a dream, but they are wetting their bed? Well, it's wasn't that. I had a dream I was brushing my teeth and I went to spit into the sink...and I really spit. Gross, I know, but at least my bladder didn't betray me. I think actually spitting kind of shocked me and so I woke up. Seriously hope that never happens again. I feel like a camel.

Aside from feeling sick - the weekend was pretty good. It was conference weekend so that's always a plus. On Sunday, President Monson was speaking and he quoted a lot from the "Attitude of Gratitude" talk (the talk I am following for my Sunday blog entries). It was really cool to be able to finish his sentences for him, I hadn't realized I remembered the wording of his talk so well. Then later he was speaking again and he quoted Frost. He said two lines from a poem and I turned to my mom and said, "Frost, right?" (Because my mom knows everything). She started to say it was from a song, but then realized those words weren't from the song. She went and looked it up and she came back to confirm that I was right...that was exciting...I am a little intelligent.

I have pictures, just not with me, that I will post. Some Halloween decor around the house and a little crafty project my mom and I did (oh and the Mae concert). Of course, the crafty project will show you how I am excited to do something and then get bored and tired of it...is there some kind of mental exercise I can do that will help me from giving up on projects? I'd really like to follow some through someday.

There was a spider in the office this morning, right outside of our conference room and Wanda told me to kill it. Me?! Kill a spider?! I grabbed a bunch of paper towels, prepared to kill it. Then I looked at it, it was no bigger than a dime but I worried that somehow it would attack me, or that I would feel it's little body beneath the three wadded up paper towels. I grabbed a trash can to catch the body but then realized I wanted that thing dead, I didn't want it to be like JAWS (not the first one but the one where it hunts the guy's family cause the shark can smell shared DNA....amazing) and come back to attack me and my children's children's children*. So I went to Gordon and knocked on his door and asked him to do me a really odd favor. He laughed and killed it really well, there's even a little smear on the wall to prove that this spider is gone (or is standing behind me as I type with only six legs and three eyes - thoroughly pissed).

Today - we are back to cold and rainy...well, back to rainy; the cold is kind of new. I am wearing a sweater - this is actually pretty exciting. I love sweaters; I love how they cover up my fat rolls. Fall and winter are my favorite seasons. I'd love them even more if I was independently wealthy and didn't have to work. It's so hard to get up in the morning when the sun doesn't seem to even want to rise.

I am removing the superfluous buns.*

"Let us reflect gratitude for our fathers.

"Father . . . is ever willing to sacrifice his own comfort for that of his children. Daily he toils to provide the necessities of life, never complaining, ever concerned for the well-being of his family. This love for children, this desire to see them well and happy, is a constant in a time of change."

Thomas S. Monson, "An Attitude of Gratitude," Ensign, Feb. 2000, 4

My dad!

I think it so no big secret that I am a Daddy's girl through and through. I absolutely love my father. When I was a little kid I used to think, "I'm going to marry my dad!" I didn't really know what "marry" meant, but I knew my mom was married to my dad...oh and I didn't think about him already being married to my mom. I don't remember when that wore off, or when I was told that you can't marry your dad...or your brother, or your cousin (I was really striking out as a young child), but I think what really was to be pulled from this was that there are qualities in these men that I can look for in men I am not related to and can marry. I gleaned qualities from my dad that I look for in a future companion. I realize, with some despair, that I probably can't find someone with all my favorite qualities that he posses, but I think I am pretty determined to get as many as possible.

My dad is what we call a gentle giant. He is kind and patient but if he loses his temper you'd better watch out. Oddly enough, I have felt a bit of safety in that. I knew deep down that if anyone hurt or threatened to hurt me that my dad wouldn't be the type to put up with it.

He loves his children, you can tell when you watch him look at any of them. He loves them all for different reasons, and he would do anything for them.

He's a handyman, that can never change about him. It took me a while to realize that not a lot of guys are handymen anymore. There are few who could remodel my future kitchen or bathroom, fix the sink, install a ceiling fan, "know a guy" for heating systems, siding, roof repair, etc. What a let down that guys aren't born with this ability. But I have come to learn through my brother-in-laws that they can be taught! So this is something I am willing to give a little on.

His diligence. Even if he's not allowed into the house, he does his home teaching every month. He serves in his callings at church.

COOKIES!!! Got to love a man who bakes. I am so grateful for him passing his mother's sugar cookie recipe down to us, and for him being willing to make them for any and all holidays now (not just Christmas...best idea EVER). Oh, and how could I forget Saturday morning pancakes!?

He loves a good joke/story/game of Balderdash. He loves to laugh.

At lady at my mom and sister's work this he looks like Tom Selleck so she made him this card.

...and when he took a bite of what I considered to be the world's most delicious snickerdoodles (from a restaurant) he ate it, looked at me and said, "Yours is better."

I just love this man and am so grateful that I was blessed to grow up with a father like him!

My allergic reaction made me feel beautiful.*

For a few weeks now when people say October 1st I get this funny feeling, like something is important about October 1st. It was yesterday that I realized it...October 1st is my anniversary at work. It has now been three years! It's amazing how fast time flies (or how exotic Wisconsin isn't*).


I have to say, I am a little surprised that it's been three years. In three years I have gone through:

• 3 co-workers (doing the payroll position)
• 3 CEOs
• 2 bosses
• I have processed 78 terminations (with just as many (if not more) new hires)
• I know the names and faces of all 135 employees (and also still remember all the 78 terminations)...this is big for me
• I have coordinated Angel Tree, blood drives, food bank donations, bake-offs, cook-offs, pumpkin carving contests, random pizza lunches, an ice-cream appreciation day, brown bag sessions, interviews, Onboarding meetings, and tickets for Richmond Flying Squirrels games.
• I have scanned every document in the HR department (close enough at least)
• I have moved the chairs throughout two buildings, multiple times for multiple meetings
• I have attended several employment law seminars, a semester of a PHR class (and would have taken the test if they would have allowed me), and various webinars.
• I conducted an internal I-9 audit
• I am a notary
• I have learned payroll and recruiting
• I am in charge of the suggestion program, the recognition program, the education reimbursement program, facilities and the main page of our Intranet.
• And much more.

I've come a long way from the days when I just sat in my workstation writing a book and wondering if I had made a mistake by switching jobs. ...I write at home now (*cough* that means I still wonder if I made a mistake :P)