I'm 99.9% parched*

It's Friday!

Thank goodness because I can't take it anymore. Who knew I could waste a whole week of my life not doing anything? Well, that will change. Monday will be a clean slate and next week will be productive (I don't sound like a procrastinator at all do I?)

Of course, this weekend is tainted because I have to give a talk at church on Sunday. I finished writing the talk yesterday and I practiced it four times already! I will practice it some more too because I get so darn nervous when I have to give a talk. I don't think I'll ever get used to it. When I was a trainer I started to get into the routine, I became a pretty good trainer too and that's not me just being full of myself, I have my old boss and coworker to back me up on that. But with training it was the same material every time, of course I got used to it. When you give a talk in church or teach a lesson it is always different. No matter how many times you do it, it's going to be different...therefore, I will never get used to it.

It's okay though, it's all part of life.

There's not a whole lot else going on. I am just trying to kill the last half hour that stands between me and 5 o'clock.

I want to go do something great today, but I will probably just end up going home and eating dinner, call it an early night and watch some Bones...I'm a little in love with that show.

To live would be an awfully big adventure.*

Prepare to be shocked and amazed.

Today, against my better judgement, I decided to go out to eat for lunch. Every once in a while my coworker asks, "What are you doing for lunch?" Today, she asked as I was finishing my cheese stick I brought with me (having already munched my pretzels into oblivion). It's one of those times in a woman's month where every morsel of food seems to offer a certain level of comfort, the very thought of it warms your insides and chases the pain away.

After taking a moment to think about how much I shouldn't go out to eat, I said, "Nothing, I'm doing nothing. What did you have in mind?" Suddenly I found myself overwhelmed with the desire to eat something that was hot, or at least warm. Something that screamed, "unhealthy!" like fried mozzarella sticks or french fries.
I got my wish. We went to Ruby Tuesdays and I decided to get a burger, it turns out that at Ruby's they have "endless" fries, akin to Red Robin's "bottomless" ones, except that for every time I go to Red Robin I always seem to find the bottom of that basket, and stare at it the remainder of the meal...which is fine because I actually don't like Red Robin's fries (and I know fries!). At Ruby's though, the waiter came up, saw that my "basket" (rather, porcelain fry container) was emptied and asked me if I would like more fries. "Yes." I said, "Thank you!" I loaded up on fries for two reasons. The first is the obvious one...uh, they are endless, why not? The second is that my burger was unsatisfactory. The blood soaked bottom half of the bun was what gave it away. I cut the burger in half to find that most of it was cooked though, but somehow the little edge still mooed. I ate half the burger and then couldn't stomach it anymore, I had visions of contracting mad cow's disease, which I envision is similar to rabies (at least with the foaming mouth) coupled with going cross-eyed and being unable to keep my tongue from wagging outside of my mouth. So fries it was, and fries it will never be again.
That's right folks. I feel horrible right now and I don't know if it is the pain that I subscribe to on a monthly basis or if it is the over consumption of fried potatoes cut into "shoe strings", or possibly a mixture of them both, but I am not digging this feeling. I am making a new goal for myself, and I think it really is for the best (so if my friends would be ever so supportive when they are nearby and I find myself face to face with temptation, I would appreciate it). I am giving up fries.

Shocked and amazed? You better be...this is big for me. (wow that rhymes, I feel like I need to make up a rap about giving up fries now...Oily death and lies - my little french fries...on second thought, I'll leave the rapping to others).

I know you can be overwhelmed and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?*

It's that time again, for one of my weird little theories. This one is called...

The Fish and the Amoeba (as pertaining to boys)

This theory is not to be confused with the Steak Fry Hierarchy of 2007 (If needed I can revisit this as I don't believe I ever blogged about it) in fact, they have no correlation what-so-ever.

Imagine with me if you will that you are swimming in a sea of fishes.

Creepy and yet freaking adorable.

There many different types of fishes, big ones, little ones, colorful or dull. Plenty of fishes for you to choose from (are you following what I am really getting at?). Each fish, when it first comes into the pond has immeasurable potential. They are all so clean and lovely. However, each fish runs the risk of running into an amoeba. These tiny, microscopic creatures can latch on to a fish, a wonderful, beautiful fish and slowly begin to change it's very composition until it somehow shakes off the amoeba or worse...becomes an amoeba infested fish.

Let's talk about this. I am going to assume that this situation can be considered global, but it may be confined to the Chippenham Ward in Richmond, VA.

A new guy moves in. He's cute, average height, seemed pretty mature and intelligent when you spoke to him in the hallway. The prospect of there being a guy in the world who has a full time job, can speak intelligently, doesn't spend most of his free time drinking Mountain Dew and playing video games in his underwear causes butterflies to burst in your stomach. It will be refreshing to hang out with someone whose maturity level is above that of a thirteen year old's.

Even if nothing romantic happens with this guy, say you end up just being friends, it is still refreshing, still nice to be around a guy who seems to have his priorities straight. There's one problem though. You both swim in the same sea with all the other fishes. Other fishes that are covered in amoebas! (Please read the next part faster and more panicked, it's fun that way) Your new, shiny fish suddenly comes in contact with that fish that's been in your sea for over two years! The one who would rather watch a sporting event then go on a date! As you watch in horror, amoebas are jumping from one fish to another. You want to stop it, but nothing seems to work! You remind them that you are floating there, that you are a lady fish, but they laugh and keep talking and before long you see your shiny fish covered in amoebas of all shapes and sizes!!

When one fish swims to close to another he gets this funk of him. No one's fault, it just happens. But the two fish are somehow connected and they begin to act the same way whenever they are around each other. The amoebas bring out the worst in the fish. Savvy?

Actually, I have no idea if that makes any sense.

Porkchops and applesauce.*

My latest adventure involves the Grand Caves. I relearned all about stalagmites and stalactites and shields, columns, etc. It was great. I remember so much more than I did in Elementary School when we went to Luray Caverns.


The water drips down and is so full of minerals that it eventually (over hundreds) of years, creates all these amazing formations. Of course, the water dripped on us and I had these horrific images of eventually becoming a rock woman, covered in minerals and unable to move. Wouldn't that be creepy? Yes. It would be, you don't even need to answer, I've answered for you.

This is a picture of the reflection pond. The way they have the lights set up is so that when you look in the pond from a certain angle you can see a "Castle" on a hill....see it? I thought it was cool.

This is George Washington's ghost (no...he did not stand still long enough as water dripped on him to become a rock man...it apparently just looks like him). I am not actually touching it because when you touch the rock formations you leave behind your oil which makes the new water dripping down unable to latch on to it and therefore it stops growing. And I'm no killer.

The rainbow room. It looks like it continues below, but that is another reflection pond.

After the caves we went to see the Mennonites at the Farmer's Market and I found a bag of just Lucky Charm marshmallows. It's a dream come true! There are several theories about this...either the Mennonites are crazy about these marshmallows so they package them to sell in their "grocery store" or they are forbidden to eat the marshmallows, so they pick them out and package them. OR my personal favorite, a punishment for bad little children is to pick out the marshmallows while sitting in a small barn on a wooden chair at a wooden table. The greater the offense the longer the shift.

It was a drive by fruiting*

Ha! I was cleaning up the "Drafts" in my "edit posts" section and found this little gem. Just proof that I do intend to stay current and up to date with my posts, but then something comes up or I get distracted.


Better late than never I have pictures to put up from my sister's Thanksgiving visit. ...Note: we never got out of the car in D.C. ....we never parked. I don't want to talk about it.

I'm in the market, as it were.*

Goodbye Maytag, Hello Whirlpool! I was going to wait until Friday and take my friend with me to look at possible washing machines but then I realized two things - Friday is far away and I need a washer. Two - there ain't nothing (note: I am aware that "ain't" isn't a word, and I've used a double negative) the store can tell me that the website can't. All the details will mean the same to me whether from the "compare product" feature or a sales persons mouth (meaning, they will mean nothing). Now that I have bought it (online), I hope it fits. But again, the same thing would have happened in the store anyway. Besides, I don't have to deal with a pushy salesperson who tries to sell me more than I need or get me to pay more than I want to pay.

Here he is!

The Whirlpool 3.5 Cu. Ft. Super Capacity Plus Top-Load Washer (Color:White). It seems that washer's have not joined the cool crowd of changing colors. White is the only option in my price range. I wanted a top-load washer because that is what I know and trust and starting a load of laundry with a top-loader isn't a permanent commitment. When you start a load of laundry with a front loader you have to be sure all your laundry is in there. There's no going back once you start, no adding the sock that absconded itself from the laundry basket on your journey from bed room to laundry closet.

It has three cycles, Normal, Casual and Delicate. Did you know that not all washers come with these cycles? I thought they were basics, but no. So don't be fooled by price alone (have several things that fool you). There are 4 water temperatures...I don't know what they could be, I only know of three. Cold, warm, and hot...maybe there is "Ice Cold" or "Lukewarm"...that would be cool. I haven't named him yet, I believe that to name your washer you have to get to know each other first.

I will blog when he arrives, is installed, and the inaugural load is complete.

You know the Greeks didn't write obituaries. They only asked one question after a man died: "Did he have passion?"*

Henry Maytag
Washer Extraordinaire
Born: Unknown
Died: June 13, 2010

Henry Maytag, prominent Pennsylvania Avenue Washer, died yesterday from complications of filling his basin with cold/cold water. His age was unknown. Quiet but loud enough to be heard, Maytag never gave signs of declining health. Even in his final moments he worked on filling his basin to wash a load of dirty colors. It is unknown if he knew his end was coming, but whether or not he did, the courageous Maytag secretly clung to the belief that he would wash one more load of laundry.

Asked about the loss of her dear washing companion, Lildonbro, prominent blogger, described Maytag as a faithful washer in the last days of his life.

Maytag passed away quietly, surrounded by dirty clothes, lint and family. Currently the cause of death is unknown and there were no preexisting medical conditions.
*~*~*~*~*~
I never got to say goodbye. I never got to complete one last wash. I don't think this is covered by the home warranty. I know a lot of time hasn't passed, but I don't want to be alone, I am already shopping around for the next Pennsylvania Avenue Washer.