I don't know much about boats, but I'd say that one's upsidedown.*

Ok - so I'm going to give you my weekend out of order because Friday has pictures but I want to post something.

This whole weekend was just great! I was so tired I got teary eyed when I told my roommate something completely unemotional (wish I could remember but that vague statement will have to suffice).  I wasn't sad, I wasn't overly happy, but somehow, saying the words strained my eyes and caused them to water.

Saturday, we had a basketball game at 8 a.m., against a young women's team.  I kept missing my shots at first - easy shots.  I think I was nervous about creaming young women.  I also found out that they were incredibly intimidated.  I stuffed this one girl and immediately apologized - it just didn't seem right - didn't stop me though, I continued stuffing them as often as they came up to me and tried to take a shot.  I've told people time and time again that I don't know how to back down.  Whether it's a game of Candyland with a five-year-old or a 5k race with a 60-year old. 

But the game went well - it was a good learning experience for the girls and they were really fun to play with (and we didn't lose - thank goodness!)  Their coach is actually on our team - and she did not go easy on them and told us not to either, as she put it, "they've gotten lazy" because they cream all the other youth teams.  I saw them play another youth team about an hour later and it's true...they creamed them.

The guys had two games on Saturday so I basically spent my day there.  At one point, between the guy's first game and their second, I went into the hallway because I got a phone call and Cam called out my name and then fell on the ground.  He was facing a door and looked like he was about to do a push-up and for some reason I thought he was playing a game with some kid behind the door (don't ask why that was my thought but it was).  Seeing as how I was on the phone with a more official-like call I turned and walked away so I could hear the person on the other line.  When I hung up and came back down the hall there was a small group of people helping Cam.  Bishop was one of them and I came up and asked what happened and he said that Cam was cramping up and I said, "Oh, cause he ate McDonald's?" (that's where they went for lunch between games).  I was semi-serious about it but Bishop laughed so I acted like I meant it as a joke.

....apparently he had gotten cramps in both his legs and did not call out to me in jest - but was calling for help...that's right -

I'm a jerk. 

I apologized to him a few thousand times and helped him with his recovery (walking laps with him, helping him stretch right, etc.)  He sat for a good while at the beginning of the game and then came back in.  I don't know what it was - but the boys played really well! (I'm shocked - cause they don't usually).  They beat a team that had previously creamed them.

Anyway - after that was home to shower and then straight to a baptism.  After the baptism, Ben F. and I did an Irish goodbye (leaving without saying anything to anyone) and went and got slurpees. These are the cups they had...

For those of you who don't know - this movie came out in the summer of 2011! We found a 7-11 in a time warp!  We got our slurpees and went back to the church, got scolded for leaving without saying goodbye.  Then we just stayed in the car, seeing as how we were already in trouble, we went to get Ben something to eat and then we went to Spencer's house for a Dr. Who fix.  What better way to spend a Saturday night!

1/2 my boys working hard

Sunday night, Christian and I decided to put together a really small puzzle (350 pieces....we finished a 3,000 piece puzzle a month ago). After we finished the border, we decided it would be fun to try and do a time lapse video. Christian set up the camera and Jessica C. and Chris E. joined us. We finished the puzzle before 11 and then Christian decided to stay up until 2 in the morning making the video - this is the end product and I think it's fantastic!

I feel like the maid; I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for... for ten minutes!*

Congratulations to Amber for getting the last blog post - I actually was quoting something that was quoting A Tale of Two Cities - so there's still 10 blog bucks to be had...if you can read my mind.

Well folks - we are in the second month of the new year and I think I bombed a few resolutions thus far.  But the great thing about the year is that it has 12 months in it - I still have 11 to improve. 

So - I was still aching about the weight gain over Christmas when I had family in town - and then I went to Texas...and like the camera - Texas adds ten pounds.  So I have even more aching going on.  In an attempt to shake off some of the Christmas/Texas gain-age, I popped in a Tae-Bo DVD the other night.  I got through the warm-up and started the stretches but there's something about Billy Blanks being able to hold his ankles and rest his head on the ground that made me give up and play Wii-Fit games instead.

But that's not the shameful/embarrassing part - the real sadness comes from how sore I am - two days later - from just the stretching (I can't begin to imagine what I would feel like had I actually started working out!)

People have their moments when they realize they are out of shape.  I had a manager once who told me her moment was when she tripped - not on her feet, just stumbled on nothing and realized that she needed to lose weight.  I guess mine would be - getting sore after stretching with Billy Blanks. 

My new years resolution was not about losing weight - but about being healthier and that includes working out - so shame on me.  I think I've worked out three times since the new year.  So yesterday I began - I figured it was a good way to begin too because I have basketball practice tonight, a dance Friday night, and a basketball game on Saturday morning (I also figured that if I failed to start last night- I would be forced to start tonight anyway - it was safe).

I was going to go running, but when I went outside I decided it wasn't warm enough and it helped that Chris was coming over to do a little yard work - so I used that as an extra excuse to put in a workout video.  I'm not a fan of work out videos - for one, they're boring, the same stuff happens every time.  At least when I go running their could be a different dog barking at me, or kids playing outside, or the leaves changing colors (and one time- my neighbor's dog just randomly joined me on the run - it was quite comical).  Because of this repetition, I have trouble not getting snarky with the person on the video.  I get annoyed with the way they count (and then lose track of what they are counting because they start talking and it happens every time), I get annoyed with their jokes that I hear every time I do the workout.  Billy got a "heck no!" when I saw him effortlessly bend his body in half and put his head on the ground, and you know what? He's always going to do that and I'm always going to get discouraged.  Leslie gets a, "Shut-up, Leslie! Don't lose count, you said four more and I've given you at least 6!" or sometimes a patronizing laugh at her jokes that will always be the same.  I don't know why I expect it to change from viewing to viewing - but I do. 

Still - I did it - if I took them out as an option I would have done nothing and that's no way to get where I want to go.  And the work out videos are still more enjoyable than running on the Wii.

Do you guys have any favorite workouts? Or ones you really hate but do anyway?

I see a beautiful city and a brilliant people rising from this abyss.*

Congratulations to Katie and C$ for getting the last post!  This bumped C$ up two places on the leader-board!

I grapple with a lot of things.  Recently it has been to let go and to be kind.  Sometimes my inability to let go of things turns into a big joke - like the fact that I still bring up the time when Kathryn inadvertently called my music 'crap', or back in '09 when I blamed Bryan for the demise of my favorite shoes because he pointed out that one had a hole in it (obviously I know that he did not cause the hole - but he brought it to my attention and therefore took the fall).  But recently, not letting go has been a burden and a hindrance to me.  I can't actually describe what it is I am holding on to - I guess just a myriad of things that I know I should let go. 

In fact - twice in one week, the Lord told me to let go.  The first time was the hardest because I was sitting in the temple, thinking about all the things I have loved and lost (or will lose soon), I'm not just talking about people but callings, wards, friends moving away, etc.  The thought came in to my mind that sometimes the Lord takes away what you love, not because he wants to be mean and not because he will take the love you have for it, but because now you are ready for more.  Now you have to try to love something new and different...and you will and when you do, you'll be better for it.  I guess this is my last year before a lot of change in my life and it's caused me to be reflective.  But I remember sitting in the temple and crying because I knew what this meant.  It wasn't actually about  letting go, because I was being forced to do that anyway, but accepting that it is right to let these things go.  Because it isn't losing, it's growing. 

The second time wasn't as hard but was far more personal for me.  I have been holding on to so many emotions lately, jumping from one to the next to help me deal with certain events from last year.  I've gone from anger to anxiety to sadness and back around in a crazy circle.  I don't know how to let go - and I prayed about this in the temple, just as I've been praying about it for months now.  Months with no answer - but that's okay.  Then that night I got my first answer.  Be kind. I was attending Institute in Texas and we were studying Elder Holland's "Laborers in the Vineyard" and he says, "Be kind, and be grateful that God is kind."  Ugh! Be kind!? Really!?  Really.  That was my completely unexpected answer to my long, repeated, question.  ...and it scares me to death.

Sounds silly, being scared to be kind, but being kind is a type of vulnerability that I question if I am ready for.  Just for the record, I don't have an issue being kind to everyone, it's in the context of the situation that it scares me.

A few days after that I had the confirmation that something I had been fighting against was right - it doesn't make it easier, this knowledge, in fact, it made me cry...a lot.  It's hard to realize that you were in the way, that you are wrong, and harder still to realize that you are the only one holding on to the hurt - and it's only hurting you worse.  I'm sorry I'm being so vague there - I would get more in to it - but well, it's personal.


The last time we had Stake Conference, our Stake President said, "Don't let perfection be the enemy of excellence."  How many times do we do this...How many times do I?  I just feel like I should have things right away.  I should forgive frankly, I should stop a bad habit at the snap of a finger, I should be able to read my scriptures and write in my journal every day because I decided I wanted to.  That's not how life works though, it's a process and I need to keep reminding myself of that.  Letting go and being kind are the same way.  Just because I know these are the things I should do - doesn't mean I'm going to get it all the time.  What counts is that I don't stop trying.

To finish (and I hope all of this makes sense to you) - I think it's important that we each have someone who will tell us how they see us.  We have blinders on when we look at our own progression.  We see the here and now and the fact that we still don't have it, but our friends can see the difference, they see us better than we see ourselves because their view of us isn't bogged down by the bombardment of negative thoughts thrust at us on a daily basis.  You may think you yell at your kids too much or can't get control of your road rage. You may think you are fat, unattractive, unwanted, or maybe like you don't do enough.  But the truth of it is, you are beautiful, you are important to the people in your life, and when you are grappling with things, when you are trying to be better, people are noticing, even if you think you are standing still.

So to echo the words of one of my people, "I know you are doing all you can and it may look and feel ugly and hopeless to you at times but that's why i tell you you are stunning because to me you provide hope."

Remember that - remember that there is someone who sees you and you inspire them.  And be sure to tell those who inspire you that they do so.  Something tells me that they need to hear that just as much as you do.

I can hear you getting fatter.*

Congratulations to Amber for getting the "Washington, nice apples" blogbucks.

So here are the other highlights from Texas.



Jordan ate the whole time. 



Sunday was low key, which was good cause we were still recovering from traveling.  Just eating, church and a game night!

Monday was FHE - I made Donbrons and Dumbroads for the treat.  I think one of my favorite things about the beginning of the week was that Amber would introduce me first as her best friend, and then she would introduce Jordan as her surprise.  ...it still makes me laugh - he got upgraded by the end of the week - but I think it was guilt.  Face it Jordan - I'm the favorite.

Monday I had the world's smallest breakfast - everything was small - debunking the theory that every is bigger in Texas.  Look at this syrup!

We made up for it Tuesday by having the world's largest cinnamon roll!

Three pounds of sugary death!

Then we went to the Alamo and the River Walk to try and burn some calories.

We went from the River Walk to meet up with Rub for dinner.  It was so good seeing her again!  I think it's been about three years!  That girl needs to move back to Virginia (ahem - hope you're reading this Rub)

Then we went to see the San Antonio Temple at night (we went back in the morning to do a session).

Wednesday was our spiritual/over eating day.  Temple in the morning, nap, and then lots of eating.  Institute - followed by more eating.  I think this is where the bulk of my vacation weight came from. ...we also took a lot of photos.



Note to readers - I have gotten a lot of questions on whether or not I gave Amber this black eye - I did not.  As much as I would like to claim it...

 After being at the Institute building for five hours - we were ready to eat! But - Institute was really good and Jordan and I got to learn some basic Salsa dance moves while we waited for Amber afterwards.  After Institute we agreed to put our phones away for the rest of the trip and just enjoy each other's company - I would like to note - I won...I put my phone away the longest (am I competitive? yes.)



I know. I know. Don't play with your food.





Tell me how you really feel, Jordan.



Then Thursday was time to come home.  We dropped off Jordan, grabbed breakfast and took a few photos before I had to go to the airport too.

I'm in there somewhere

This belongs up there with the giant cinnamon roll but I am having trouble moving it.  The water glasses should have been the hint that everything here was definitely bigger.

Thanks Amber, for putting Jordan and I up and making the trip so much fun! It was great spending some much needed time with one of my best friends (oh - and Jordan I guess :P)  I can't say that I loved Texas though - there was something about it that just made me a little sad on the inside.  I don't know - maybe it was the lack of vibrant color.  I don't think I'll be taking another trip to Texas unless it is to visit someone.  Plus - I've got some serious eater's remorse. 

Washington, nice apples.*

Congratulations to Katie for getting the last blog title.  I love that movie!

I was going to use a different line from the same movie the blog title came from but this is a family friendly blog.  But it fit this post...  I went to Texas. 

Here's my history with Texas.  The very first time I flew on my own I had a connecting flight in Texas.  I got stuck there while my layover was extended.  Another time, I got stuck there for five hours, about once every hour and a half my gate changed - we would all get up and move to a gate no where near the old one, when we finally got on the plane and in the air, we were informed we would be returning to Texas because of some issue with the plane. They gave us food vouchers that I refused to use on principle (I was young, and way more prideful back then). I have flown a lot, with many connections in Texas, so I won't tell you all about them, but rest assured, each time I have a connection in Texas, something bad happens.

Suffice it to say, I had a negative idea of Texas and when it came to my goal to visit all 50 states....I counted Texas.  I'd spent enough accumulated time there!

But...Amber is there...and I went to Arizona to see the Grand Canyon with Jesse and it wouldn't do that I went to see Jesse and wouldn't visit one of my best friends.  So I planned a trip for March (cause Amber told me that's when it was prettiest).  Then my friend, Jordan, talked me in to going in January instead and to go with him.  Then we told Amber Jordan couldn't make it and that only I was coming.  But. We. Lied.

I woke up at 4:30 in the a.m. for my flight.  Jordan met me at the house and Vivienne drove us to the airport in the snow (Thanks Viv!)  Our flight was leaving at 5:50 and we apparently missed the 30 minutes cut off to check in.  So the world's sweetest ladies (and really, they have to be to be so helpful at such an awful hour) helped us so we could make our flight.  Unfortunately, while one was helping me the other one tagged my luggage as someone else's and I looked up to see it going down the conveyor belt.  They worked quickly though, telling us to hurry to our flight.  We stood in the security line for a long time, which was odd cause it was almost 6 o'clock in the morning.  Jordan left something in his pocket and they checked him out quickly and then we hurried to our gate.  The wonderful women from the desk had called and told them to hold the plane - so yes - we were those passengers.  We boarded our plane at 5:48 for a flight set to depart at 5:50. That's what I call cutting it close.

Amber was not actually surprised about Jordan being there - apparently Jordan and I are bad liars...what a let down.  It didn't help that I sent her a text saying that I got to sit next to a cute guy and Jordan sent one not long after apologizing that he couldn't get off work to come visit.  Oops.

Our first stop was to a German pancake house where I proceeded to tell Jordan that "fanny" meant "apple" in German...and he believed me (now who's not a bad liar!?) For those wondering, the German word for apple is "apfel".

I don't know what this was - but it looked fun.

Then we went back to Amber's place to relax - we were a bit tired.

Me - realizing that Ajax has gotten REALLY heavy!

We went to the church cause Amber had to practice (she sang on Sunday at church).  Jordan and I enjoyed the sunset.

Then it was off to the Spurs game (see an NBA game live - check).  Sometimes at these athletic events I just feel like they don't make the steps big enough up top, I'm always scared I'm going to fall.  I think the two year old that clung to my leg thought the same thing.  He didn't even have that embarrassing moment where he realized he was not holding on to his mom, fear will do that to you I guess.

And then I'm pretty sure I passed out on the car ride home. Woke up to shop at Wal-Mart and then back to the house to pass out again. 

It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard... is what makes it great.*

2013 Reading Goal

January - 4

Total =4

Reached by Ally Condie - I started this series last year and then had to hold off for the third book to come out - and then by that time I was in no hurry to read it (it happens).  I really liked it.  When I first started reading the series I wasn't so sure how I would like it, I didn't like the characters...but by the end of the book I really enjoyed the character development and storyline.  And there was one "situation" that I wasn't sure how she would resolve it to the point that I would like it - but she did it! Well done Mrs. Condie. I'd recommend the series to read (especially if you like teen fiction or dystopian novels).

Your Happily Ever After by Dieter F. Uchtdorf - I know this is a little cheating, but it's a book so I count it.  It's a quick read and if you have the Deseret Book application on your smart phone, tablet, ipad, kindle, etc. it's a FREE download - you're welcome - now back to our regularly scheduled program...  Loved it! I love this man too!  He talks about how we must each go through trials between our "once upon a time" and our "happily ever after".  He's also why I have decided to sign up for the half marathon again.  He said, "Would the marathon runner feel the triumph of finishing the race had she not felt the pain of the hours of pushing against her limits?" Which made me think of the movie quote that makes the title of this blog and I realized that while I can, I am going to continue to do hard things.  The hard is what makes it great!

You are Not so Smart by David McRaney - 48 ways I'm deluding myself...great.  Actually, I really enjoyed this book.  I remembered a lot of it from my Intro to Psychology course in college, but there were things in there I had never read before.  Such as Extinction Burst - which is why I can give up sugar for a while but then go cra to the zy with a sugar binge and subsequent diabetic coma. Doesn't mean I can't still figure a way to eat better, I'm just now equipped with the knowledge that my habits will fight me on this one as they take one last breath! muhahaha!  Er...um...really good book - read it.

The Beginning of Better Days by Sheri Dew and Virginia H. Pearce - INCREDIBLE! I absolutely loved this book! I started it on the plane ride out to Texas and finished it on well before I got back to Richmond.  It had great insights into the role of women in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  It also gave me a lot of think about as far as my own personal progress and growth.  If you are an LDS woman - I would say READ IT - others may read too - I just don't know if it will have the same effect. Four stars.

Where's the baby? There he is!*

Congratulations to Amber, Tami, and Mur - each received 10 blog bucks for correctly guessing the last post's title.  Mur received an additional 10 points for guessing the post before that.

Just wanted to drop a line - I'm going to Texas tomorrow morning so I'll be gone until next week!


I hope to be getting away from the weather like this

 But exciting things are coming folks - I am back to doing the monthly book reviews (since I'll be reading hard core due to my 50 books goal).

There will be photos from my trip...

...and that's about all the exciting stuff.

Last night we had a Relief Society activity on Family History and writing your personal history.  I presented the Family History portion - I get so nervous in front of people, it's ridiculous.  I'm really love Family History/Genealogy.  I'm also super excited to start writing my personal history (we were given a handout on a rough outline of what to do).  I've already started to think of stories and such to add to it.  We talked about how this is like an autobiography and that got me more excited because as you may recall - I already have the title, "Still in the Room - Growing up as the Youngest".  I like this idea because it will be something of me to leave behind.  I wish I had things like this from my grandparents, because I didn't really get to know any of them all that well, especially my mom's mom who died well before I was born.  I think it would have been really neat to have something from her, to get to know her, to read stories about her and find out what kind of a person she was.  Don't get me wrong - Aunt Honey is a good source, and that's exactly why I think it would have been neat to have something, because I've learned more about my grandma from Aunt Honey.

Anyway - I shall miss you my little blog friends.  I hope you all have a good week and I'll see you soon!