Monday, July 18, 2011

Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, I'm free at last*

I'm done, I'm done, I'm done!

I have to be honest here, I had a hundred pages left when I stopped reading on Thursday. I thought I could read and watch Harry Potter 7.1 at the same time, but I couldn't, I realized I wasn't actually paying attention to either. So I watched the movie and then we went to the theater. I have since finished it completely though, I went back further than 100 pages too because I felt like I had rushed it. But the point is, I'm done. I feel okay not finishing the last 100 pages beforehand because that's a lot of Potter in a short amount of time.

Because I went to the midnight showing, I took Friday off. I had an eye doctor appointment for 11:15 because I figured that would be late enough in the day that I could get some stuff done and then get over there...I slept in until 11:30, no beuno. So I called the eye doctor and told them I got held up (no way was I admitting that I just woke up). So they rescheduled me for 1 p.m.

I get to the doctor, update some info and then...I wait. Finally around 1:30 or 1:45 they have me take my eyes out and take me to do all the little test; the green field with the white house that auto adjusts, the puff of air, and the peripheral vision test. For the last one (for people who don't get their eyes checked often and do not know) they put a patch over one eye, have you put your chin on the little chin thingy, and then you stare at an orange light and click a mouse every time you see a white light blink in your peripheral. I knew it wasn't going well because I barely clicked the mouse and I remembered clicking it a lot more last time I took the test. We switch eyes and the same thing. All I could think was, "There's something seriously wrong with my eyes." Okay, so really I thought, "I'm dying....I'm dying." Because eyes and life force are so deeply connected, it's why there are no blind people...

So we finish and the lady is quiet for a moment and then she says, "Did you know that the lights will pop up all over?" I, not liking the idea of having failed a test just shrugged my shoulders and tried to act as though I didn't, but part of me didn't really understand what she was saying then. Give it to me straight, Doc, if I failed, I failed, let's not make excuses. Then she tells me that this test tests for 12 different things, one of which is glaucoma. Apparently 40 lights will appear and I hit the mouse 13 or 14 times...

Then she looks at the results from last time and says that I got 100%, so we'll do the test again after I see the doctor. Then she holds out the test results for me to see...which I can't because I took my eyes out and am legally blind. So I lean in close to try to make something of the results and though I don't see anything (even inches from my nose) I say, "Oh, okay." This must have given me away and she checked my prescription and it was her turn to say, "oh, okay." So I go to sit in the waiting room, blind as a bat, and she talks to the other woman in the office who reminds her that she needs to use a lens. So it's back to the test and there's a little device that pops up this time where she places a lens with my prescription. The patch is put back on my eye and I lean in for the test again, one eye, the next, all done. 100%. I went back to my seat in the waiting area with the feeling that I narrowly escaped glaucoma.

The eye doctor in total took about 1.5 hours...seriously? Once I got my new eyes I went into the Wal-Mart to pick up a few items. As I was walking down an aisle I overheard a man talking to his wife on the phone and he said, "This is Wal-mart honey, there is no one to ask."

...and that pretty much summed up my Friday afternoon.


Sarah said...

oh I do not miss those blind eyes were so bad before Lasik! Do you have glasses too? I'd always forget to bring my glasses to my appointment to wear once I had my contacts out. That sucked.

Marissa said...

I'm so proud of you! You not only are a quick reader, but you beat Glaucoma! There are a lot of old people in the world who are jealous of your right now. If you could beat progressive hearing loss... now that is something that I would like to know how to do.

Thanks for being you and for your wonderful talk on Sunday! You inspire me to be better and make me happy. Also, thank you for shimmying at me and making faces at me during Relief Society - it really added to our lesson on our responsibilities/roles within families?

And... you just quoted the great Martin Luther King, Jr. and his "I Have a Dream" speech.

Meggan said...

I love it when I laugh out loud at things I read:) I'm glad glaucoma isn't at your door step just yet:)

Martha said...

"This is Walmart, honey, there is no one to ask" Best.overheard.comment.ever.

I am glad is wasn't glaucoma. How dare that lady mess with a hypochondriac!

The Rookie said...

Beaches. Oh yeah!

That is awesome news! :)


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