Don't waste time or time will waste you.*

Congratulations to Murbatron for getting the blog bucks from the last post.  And thank you to Martha for the idea to post who won the blog bucks from the previous post. 

2013 is going to be a good year - I've decided it and it is now true.  My theme actually comes from my friend, Jordan.  He was talking to me and was trying to rhyme things with 13 and walla - I've filched it from him.

Living the Dream in 20-13 (pronounced twenty-thirteen)

and my other theme

Hold On Thy Way

2013 Goals

1. Read 50 books - it's back! I know I said I would never do it again, and it's probably the worst decision I can make - but I think I can do it...and I need more motivation to read.

2. Finish the two stories I am working on - I have two works in progress and hit some serious writer's block.  I need to focus on writing again.

3. Don't text and drive (don't call the cops on me).  I'm going to admit a horrible thing that I do.  I text while driving, sometimes I read a book, I write things for my stories, I make lists, etc.  Basically...I don't give my full attention to the road.  I need to do that.  So what better time to start than the beginning of a new year?

4. Be Healthier - annual check-ups, eating veggies, working out, etc.  It's not so much about losing weight anymore - though I'd still like to drop some 'lb's, it's about being healthier in my old age.

5.Get back to the basics - I want to continue the goal from last year where I really got down to prayer and scripture study.  I've finally figured out a way that works for me with my studying and I want to continue to develop that good habit.

6. Home Improvement - I really would like to work on the fence, paint the house (pizza & painting party coming this spring), fix the dishwasher, and a myriad of other home improvement projects.

7. Budgeting/Pay off Debt -Well, you know what they say....um...something about how many tries is the charm and if at first you don't succeed.  2013 is going to be the year it all comes together - work down the debt and figure out how to budget and track finances in a way that makes sense to me.  Or maybe it has to do with developing some self discipline already!

8.Attend at least one writers conference - (p.s. got my second rejection letter - hurt a little more than the first, maybe because it wasn't written like a break up). I've decided that I need to do more than just hope that some agent has time to read my query letter and sample.  I need to get out there and *gulp* talk to people.  This is no easy task for an introvert such as myself, but if I'm serious about this then I have to start acting like it!

9. Time Management - Eek.  So, when I have down time I find myself playing games on the phone, watching Netflix, etc.  I want to make better use of my time.  When I have 5-10 minutes I would like to clean up, fold laundry, write, read, etc.  Not just mindless stuff.

10. Journal Writing - I used to be SO GOOD at journal writing and then...I just stopped being good at it.  I have experiences that I wish I had written about but can't remember as well anymore.  I don't think blogging helps cause it feels like I wrote stuff, but it's not the same stuff I would put in my journal.  So I'd like to be more consistent about it, I'd like to write in it everyday - even if I am just writing one nice thing that happened that day.

You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.*

Dear Blognions (minions who read my blog).

I apologize for the delay in writing a blog post. A lot has been going on and a lot less time has been available to write. PLUS - I wanted to have pictures for Tami. I am trying Tami, I really am. But alas, my computer has decided to not wake up. Yesterday afternoon I finally got some pictures on to my computer and then it froze, so I turned it off and back on and I got nothing. Last night when I got home I tried the same and it either froze or after logging in the screen stayed black (as long as it isn't blue I'm not too worried). This morning - the same. So I'm a little frustrated but still hopeful that not all is lost. All else- I will open it in safe mode tonight.

So - the point is - I'M SORRY TAMI! There will be no pictures in this post, but if you're lucky (more so if I'M lucky, there will be a post with pictures tomorrow).

As is though, I am having a bit of an idea famine. As you guys know, I like to write. It's the what to write about that gets me sometimes. As much as I know you guys love to read about my strange obsession with sharks and squirrels, I am interested to know if there is anything you want to know.

There is a game I love to play because it gives me a bit of an adrenaline rush - mostly because I am a pathological liar and this game makes me be honest. It's called, "truth or truth". My roommates and I used to play this all the time in college. Basically, you ask a question and the other person has to answer it honestly. If you guys want to play, you can post a question in the comments and then I'll do a post where I answer all of them.

That seems a bit egotistical to me, but seeing as how I write the blog I suppose I would have to be the one the questions are directed towards (plus, I really do like this game). ...and I lack the creativity to come up with something to write about. There, I admitted it.

So, questions, opinions, suggestions, etc. In the meantime - here are a few of my favorite things.*

• Potato chips that are folded over


• When my niece says actual words (like "ball" or "eyes" - now if only she would say my name!)


• When you are driving in a rainstorm and you go under and overpass and it's quiet for a moment and then the rain hits again when you come out the other side (that one is hard to explain - we'll have to go for a car ride in the rain together for me to show you).


• Frisbee


• Having good, deep conversations with friends


• Inside jokes


• Quoting Mega mind with my roommate


• Spending time with my family


• Teaching (it's the adrenaline)


• Yard work (If and only if you can see the difference afterwards)


• Rearranging furniture


• Warm food (preferably made by someone else)

Okay - that is all for now, I'm going to attempt to go back to productive life.

You ruined my jacket. Kill him alot.*

Greetings. One more 10k is under my belt. I am not all too happy with the time (69 minutes) because my goal was to do it in under an hour. With the mile time I had from November's 8k I figured this was within my grasp. Of course - a week and a half before I was sleeping on my couch in what my friend has described as, "an 18 hour coma". I wish our bodies would go along with our minds when our minds have decided that we are no longer sick, or that maybe we never even were sick. But in typical human body fashion, mine did not listen. I ran the first mile or so with my sister, Kathryn, the personal, mental goal was to make it to the second mile still by her side, but weaving in and out of the large mass of people takes a lot of energy and my body powered down to conserve energy (much like your laptop might when you're battery is getting low). This was okay, we do this at all races - despite her legs being far shorter, she usually beats me to the finish line. I walked a lot of the race. I kept telling myself to run until mile 3 (or 3.1 the halfway mark) but when I saw the sign for mile 2 it became, "just make it to that." So I did. Then I walked, then I sped walked, then I jogged for a bit. I would find people who were slow and tell myself to just match their pace, but when I was running I was passing them and when I was walking they would pass me. At least I didn't have to pick many people to keep up with. At the halfway point they had water and powerade, I thought maybe I was low on electrolytes so I grabbed the powerade and sipped it, but then I felt like I was going to throw up. So at the next station I grabbed water and sipped that, and then I thought maybe I have rabies... I kept running/walking and my usual, "Run to this point" mentality didn't work. It was like, "run to this point, or until you feel you'll pass out". Near the end I jogged and ignored the feeling of death creeping up and down my legs. I saw Stephanie and Isaac and tried to keep up with them since I was so close to the finish. Normally I get a spurt of energy and go out as strong as I started but not this time. I crossed the finished and wished to die. I grabbed a bottle of water and Kathryn found me and we walked the almost mile back to the car. Neither of us felt like eating and we were both reconsidering the half marathon in November (I'm not sure if that was officially decided, but I think I would still like to try for it). We went to breakfast anyway and by the time we got our food we were feeling dandy. And just as a side note from this morning: the doctor's office had called on Friday but when I called back three minutes later it seemed they were all already gone for the day. I called back today and spoke to the woman and she said that my blood test indicated that I must have had strep a few weeks ago so they were calling in a prescription to my pharmacy. She said my blood showed a high level of strep antibodies. Good to know - two weeks after the doctor's visit (I already planned to switch doctors soon anyway). But hey, a 69 minutes 10k time doesn't look so bad now considering my body single handily fought off strep.

Now they know that we know that they know that we know!*

I was hoping that today's post would be filled with pictures and adventurous stories about having changed my shower head. My dad said that changing a shower head was super easy and that I could do it myself. Having mastered the drill and helping to put up a fence last week I thought, "I can do this!" So I opened up my new shower head and put the parts together like the instructions said to, then I looked at my old shower head. I said to myself, "I guess it just unscrews or something." So I reached up and started to turn it. The whole thing came out of the wall and I shrugged my shoulders and thought maybe the new one screwed right in to the wall. I tried that...it didn't work. So I put the old one back on and decided I would call Dad later. I then proceeded to scrub that shower (yes...I needed a nap after this because I am still feeling a little drained for my unidentified sickness). I turned on the shower to rinse the wall and the water barely came out, so I reached up and tried to twist the shower head, thinking maybe I hadn't put it on tight enough (don't worry, I turned off the water first). Then the shower head got stuck upside down in all the turning, so I tried to turn it the other way to loosen it and that's when it happened...the shower head just SNAPPED! I was a bit shocked; I just don't know my own strength sometimes.

The trip to see Dad became imperative at that moment. I took some pictures and the shower head over to my dad's to have a look. We're going to fix it at some point this week. I have another shower in the house, so there's no rush.

Later though, I was cleaning the dishes and I was washing one of the spatulas when it suddenly SNAPPED. ...for someone who is feeling weak I sure do seemed to have my muscularly arms on this weekend.

Saturday afternoon I went over to Joanna’s house and Jacob got a book about Atlas(es?) In the back of the book was a map of the world. Jacob showed me all about “Japand” (would that mean that people there are Japandas?) and “Alasisika” and a few other places. Then he walked off while Jo and I started to talk. Then Jacob came back over, pointed to a little dot on the map and says, “Is this where your boy is?” I was a little thrown off by the question, but I looked down at the map and he was pointing to a little dot, just east of Madagascar called “Reunion”. I looked up at Jo and was like, “Who taught him that?” and she said he must have just heard her talking about my “boyfriend” and just calls him my boy now. So my nephew knows exactly where Bryan is…kind of cute and pretty amazing for a little kid. We showed my parent’s later and I pointed at Reunion and said, “Who’s there?” and Jacob said, “Your boy!” …It just made me smile (3 months left btw).

Sunday my mom looked at my blood tests results. She said everything looked good except the glucose levels (which, now that I think about it, all I had had that day was a sprite right before the doctor but nothing else). So I said, “That’s it, I’m giving up sugar!” which was immediately followed by responses from all three of the peanut gallery.

Mom: No you’re not

Kat: Don’t forget your cookies

Jo: Don’t forget your peeps.

Me:…Alright! Alright! But I’m cutting back.

Is it any wonder I can’t give up sugar for good? I get NO family support in this!

Washington...nice apples.*

The official unveiling of Lildonbro 2011 is coming shortly - but before I could really do that I thought maybe I should remind you guys of 2010...a recap if you will.

2010 has been an awfully good year to me. It's had it's ups and downs, it's twists and turns. Surprises, successes, failures, the usual. The odd/cool thing about this year is that there would be times that I would remember Lildonbro of 2009 and think, "Who is that girl?" I really think that I have come a long way in all aspects of my life, I have changed so much and I feel that overall it's for the best. Among other things...I bought a house this year (as you know from my horror stories), Bryan hit his 18-month mark and only has 6 more months to go, I went to Boston and Ohio (reunion with the Teen Girl Squad!), I ran in several races with my sister, Kathryn, I was on a league basketball team, I got a lot better at frisbee, I feel more confident and happier...it's been great.

Here's hoping 2011 will be just as good if not better!

Okay - let's recap on the 2010 goals:

1. Read One Book a Month - Again, I feel pretty certain that I have passed this goal. I finished five books in the month of December (many of which were started in earlier months - a few in earlier years...I don't want to talk about it). So just like last year, I may not have read one a month, but I made up for it.
2. Finish writing my story - Check. As of early December I finished the rough draft of the second book I was writing.
3. Become More Handy - Um...I learned to use that wall putty stuff, I helped my dad add a shelf to my laundry closet (using a hammer, a level, nails, a saw, and wood!). Do I feel more handy on a daily basis? No - but I took pictures of the times I was handy so that should suffice.
4. Budget - uh... (please wait for 2011 goals)
5. Have more self discipline - half and half. I trained and ran a 10k, 5k, 8k (let's face it, the best self disciplined training was for that 8k). I feel I have done a little with the self discipline, but there is always room for improvement.
6. Get my PHR designation - Boo hiss. I came, I saw, I read and studied, I was denied. Try again in three years when they will at least let you sit for the exam...
7. Pay Attention - I read some news stories here and there. Okay - let's be honest here, I completely forgot about this goal until this very moment...so...epic fail.
8. Lose Weight - Thanks to goal number 5, this has been achieved...not all the way to my goal weight, Christmas and the well got in the way (holiday eating and stress eating). So this will likely appear again in 2011.
9. Floss - Dangit!
10. Be bold - I think I've done a lot better with this. Following up with people, I've had conversations with people I'd rather never have, confronting, confronting, confronting. Feels good...actually, I still hate it.

She's not going to squeeze my shirt like that, is she?*

I gave a talk in Stake Conference Saturday night, except that it wasn't my stake. I don't know which makes me more nervous - speaking in front of a crowd I know or speaking in front of one where I don't know as many people. I think both crowds have the same affect on me.

To me - public speaking is like taking the stairs at work. I have taken the stairs everyday for three years but it never gets any easier. I think that no matter how much I speak in public, it will never get easier. I mean - I used to be a trainer and at least once a week I would stand up in front of 15-25 people...I just had to say the same thing every week but I was always nervous.

I practiced my talk so much that I had it memorized in case something happened to my hard copy on the way to the meeting house. It came in handy when I kept losing my place. I would look down, have no clue where I was on the paper and just look back up and keep going. It was nothing short of a miracle.

I shared a story in my talk about my BYU-Idaho days - it not only went with my topic but I feel it was responsible for me standing up there speaking. President Bednar used to have little "Family Home Evenings" with wards from campus, it was a little Q&A and people would ask all sorts of questions. I remember once, President Bednar (a.k.a. Uncle Dave) said that if you are looking for an answer from the Lord you need to show him that you are ready. Raise your hand in class, volunteer to say the prayer, accept callings and assignments that come your way - basically, participate. So a few months ago I was ready for an answer and remembered President Bednar saying this - I thought, "Okay, I'm ready for some answers, I'm going to participate." I was basically going to become a 'yes' girl where as before I had been a "I don't know, maybe" girl. Three days after I made that decision I was asked to teach FHE in my ward, the day after that I got a phone call from one of the Sunday School teachers asking me to sub for his class. ...I really don't like being up in front of people, and both of these "opportunities" required an extended amount of time in front of people. But I said 'yes' to both.

My topic Saturday night was on Temples and this story worked well with my talk because I had already had a trip to the temple planned for the Saturday before having to teach these two lessons. I told of my experience there while preparing for my lessons. The peace and comfort and the understanding that I was blessed with so that I could teach these lessons. For Sunday School, I had read the scriptures for the lesson at least four times and felt lost...kind of like when you read Shakespeare without someone there to guide you through it. You read the words but then you are like, "Wait, what just happened there?" While I was in the temple I decided to read the scriptures again and suddenly I understood them, it was so easy that I wondered at how I hadn't understood them before.

I found that I suddenly knew exactly what to teach and I was given comfort where before I had been pretty much a nervous wreck (cause seriously, if you know me, you know I don't like being in front of people).

I think my talk went well on Saturday - people came up to me and told me that they really enjoyed it and I'm hoping they don't just do that to be nice. Cause if I didn't enjoy a talk I wouldn't bother. One woman came up to me and told me that it was exactly what she needed to hear and that made me happy because I had been praying all day for that, to say the things that people needed to hear.

In addition to teaching those two lessons I was also asked to give the closing prayer at the meeting in the Priesthood Room on our Stake Temple day and of course, asked to speak in the Richmond Stake Conference...But hey, I got the answer I had been ready for.

I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob.*

When Clip art just won't do...

Just use the real thing.

This is what happens when someone at work just gets sick and tired of having to clean up after people. Seriously, it can get pretty bad at the coffee stations. I mean - did you not notice you spilled half a cup of coffee...or that you were no long pouring sugar into your mug but rather ALL OVER the counter? (If you couldn't tell, sometimes I fill in with the whole cleaning of the coffee stations.

So I can't really say I was surprised when Pam decided to put up signs. I had seen her playing around with different clip art all morning. Changing the wording to not be so...rude (adding the word "please" can go a long way...so can removing the exclamation points). What did surprise me was when her face popped up outside of my workstation and she ordered politely requested for me to come help her. Not that documenting the excursion was helpful.
So it begins...

Just in case smearing actual coffee on the sign wasn't enough, coffee grounds were added.


The best part is...she made quite a mess of the coffee station making the sign:

Once they were done I got to put them through the laminator. That was the fun part (for me - I'm sure Pam had a blast shaking a coffee mug, dripping with coffee, all over the place).

Does this count as passive aggressive??

I just don't get out of the lab very much. Is that a bowtie? I like bowties. I haven't slept in eight days!*

I had a fabulous idea last night. I was talking back and forth with a sick friend on Facebook. I asked him if he was heavily self medicating so that he can make it to Frisbee tomorrow (tonight) and he said he bought an argyle sweater...does that count? I said, "If Vick's vapor rub is woven into the fabric, then yes." That was great idea number one...sure you'll smell funny, but as you sit there, and even more so, as you sweat, you and those around you will have clear nasal passages. Plus, it's argyle, what's not to like?


We continued from there because he decided the sweater wasn't good enough so he'd take NyQuil, benadryl, drink juice and sleep. Something about the NyQuil-benadryl combination worried me, but who am I to say what drugs you can and cannot mix. So I tried to make a joke about not mixing juice and medications. Then he said he would drink soda and I tried to shoot that idea down too...but then I thought, "Cough syrup isn't pop rocks, Lildonbro!" But then...what if it were?!?


Wouldn't that be fun!? You could play with your medicine! Just put the packet in your mouth and listen to crazy party happening in there!


...I'm going to be rich...

Like sand through the hourglass*

Time is running out folks. Halloween is upon us and I haven't a thing to wear! I'm not too worried about it because I have a little faith in myself - I'm hitting 50% for good last minute costume ideas over the last four years.

2006 as Mini-Margaret, my manager at work. People always called me Mini-Margaret - despite the obvious fact that I am anything but her mini. This costume was thought of in advance, I just knew I had to be her for Halloween that year.

2007 - Punky Brewster. It's amazing what kind of costume ideas you can get while you are shopping in the Good Will desperate for a costume idea. Rub and I found the purple vest and the rest is history. This was a last minute costume idea.

2008 - Kissing Booth. The most last minute costume idea I've ever had. It was crunch time, the big day, and I was sitting at work still trying to figure out what I wanted to be that night. Then I decided to be a kissing booth. Grabbed a box from work, took it home, skipped dinner as I cut, colored and glued. Prep time - 45 minutes. (also notice the Kissimmee, FL t-shirt. "Kissimmee and I'll kiss you back."

2009 - A partially used bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's syrup. I had known for a while that this was what I had to be. We had a pancake breakfast once where we decided we would make a short film where all the characters would be food products that come in animal/people form (Aunt J, Mrs. Buttersworth, the honey bear, etc.) We had two bottles of Mrs. Buttersworth on the table and we decided we would remake The Shining with the two bottles being the creepy twin girls...

Since I am well aware that I am white and therefore anything but the color of syrup, I decided that a partially used bottle of Mrs. Buttersworth was more appropriate.

I feel like I have had some good costumes in the past years and am a bit worried that I won't live up to my own personal expectations.

Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what's your costume?

Just bee yourself!*

Yesterday was an experiment on being positive. I think it was a success. I was in a good mood and isn't that what being positive is all about? Apparently not, apparently it also has to do with the things that you say as well. Who would have thought? Sadly though, my personality/sense of humor leads me to say things that are 1. dramatic 2. negative 3. sarcastic. A statement such as, "Trust me, you don't want to eat a handful of mini marshmallows before going running" can apparently be misconstrued as a negative statement, or so I have been told.

But yes, overall yesterday was a good day. Here's how it played out after work. I got home, ate a handful of mini marshmallows (and you thought that statement had no basis in real life) and ran three miles around my neighborhood, about a mile and a half in those marshmallows started to seem like a bad idea, then my ankle started to hurt, then my back joined in...cause I am an old woman and I am rapidly falling apart.

I got home, stretched a little to get rid of the aches, and then ate dinner. Then I went to Frisbee. This is where it gets fun:

• My teammate threw it to me and I had to run, towards a fence, to get it. Out of the corner of my eye I see my friend, Jordan (enemy team) coming for it too. He always knocks it away from me, so I mustered my courage and wouldn't back down. We reached the fence at the same time, my fingers wrapped around the Frisbee right as we ran in to each other. I fell to the ground with the Frisbee still in hand (see...positive).
• I saved a friend's catch that slipped through his fingers, only to be hit in the face with a still pretty powerful Frisbee (no bruise on the nose, just a red mark) but despite the watery eyes and feeling like my nose was broken...I still caught it (p.s. it hurts to even blow my nose today).
• I got a charley horse in my left leg.
• Then I got one in my right leg.
• I tried to help out a team member only to get knocked to the ground when they ran into me (he got it worse though, my elbow went pretty forcefully into his stomach)
• Another pass to me was headed towards the fence, so despite my better judgment I went running for it, I smacked into the fence as the Frisbee did, my fingers grazed it but it was a lost cause. I hit the fence and fell to the ground. When I stood my ankle was cramping. It was bent to the side and I couldn't straighten it and for a moment I thought it was broken. I sat a round out, stretched, forced my foot to straighten and got back in the game. (P.S. I also hit my knee).
• I broke four nails as frisbee and frisbee hit my hands wrong.
• It was an awesome game

If I thought I was an old woman during/after running yesterday I didn't realize this morning would be worse. My knee is bruised and has two red marks that look kind of like a chain link fence...it hurts to bend it today, but I'll keep bending it. I have more running and frisbee tonight so I have to get ready. Anyway, see, when I talk...I don't sound positive, but keep in mind that I think yesterday was awesome!

What the Schnitzel?!*

The pumpkin spice kiss strikes again.

Ashley said that she was willing to try one, therefore I put a few in the front pocket of my purse. So tonight, when I saw her I went to pull one out and it was funky looking. So I went for another, and then the last one. They were all melted! I don't know how it happened, but it did. I don't think they liked my review of their taste cause these little kamikaze kisses went it for the kill...
Disgusting. I explained everything to Ashley and she was still willing to try one, so I found the least deformed and she gave it a go. She's not thrilled about the after taste.

I'm not thrilled about them spilling their guts (which look like baby spit-up) all over my phone. Good news, I have such a simple phone there weren't many buttons or crevices to seep in to.

This isn't over Pumpkin Spice Kisses, not by a long shot.

What an unexpected rainstorm.*

Reminiscent Wednesday! (Because you guys love living my glory days with me right?)
This is the story of my very first DVD player. Yes, I am old enough to have a story like this.

I was in college, in good ole' Rexburg, living at Normandy apartments. I had recently lost my car to an automobile accident (that might be a whole different story). I'm a bit foggy on the details but something tells me I was trying to get back at Tami for a lame surprise (Tami - if you remember feel free to correct me). I had told her that I had a surprise for her, more that a surprise person was coming. So she nervously hung out at my apartment waiting for our surprise guest, trying to guess who it might be. "Is it a boy or a girl?" I shrugged my shoulders (because I didn't know). Finally there was a knock at the door, I can only imagine the excitement Tami felt as I went to the door, swung it open, and there was the pizza dude. Yes - my surprise visitor was the pizza delivery person.

So we ate pizza and then we wanted to watch Shanghai Knights...my very first DVD...but there was one problem. No DVD player. I had bought the DVD because it was on sale and I figured eventually I needed to start changing over my movie collection to those, but I didn't think how you need a player to view them. Since my car was gone we got Sara to give us a ride to the Wal-Mart, I made my selection (the cheapest) and we went through the line. Sara (and I believe Cassie) were already in the car as we approached it. Sara, ever the prankster, decided that she would drive away a little bit. Tami and I, ever the ticked off type, started to walk towards our apartments. Sara drove out of the parking lot and onto the street, she stopped near us to give us a ride back but we refused, at this point our pride had really kicked in and there was no getting around it. Sara said, "Fine" and was gone. I kept telling myself, and I think also telling Tami that Sara would come back. There was no way that she would not come back and make us walk home all the way from The Wal-Mart.
...But folks, Sara didn't come back. We stayed on the main road for quite some time in case she decided to come back for us, but finally we went the back roads - less cars and it was probably quicker. Below is a map showing our travels:

A DVD box is no easy thing to carry, the thing is very awkward. I had to keep switching arms as one arm would fall asleep. Did I mention it was summertime too? So it was hot, I had an awkward bulk, and our friend

just

left

us.

We were almost home, we could see the funky brick of the back wall of Normandy Apartments. Our legs and arms were exhausted, we were thirsty and hot, and home never looked so good. We were almost home and with our eyes on our home we failed to see the sprinklers in the lawn pop up (sprinklers are indicated with blue dots on the map above). We had to act fast and run with our weary legs and arms to the safety of the other side of the lawn. We finally made it back to my apartment, exhausted, and we still had to hook up the DVD player.

But...I don't remember the details of the rest of the night. I know we kept giving Sara a hard time about it for the rest of the summer, but that is kind of where my memory cuts off. I must have suppressed them due to the trauma.

I was saved by a flying wild man in a loincloth.*

I am bored (surprise, surprise) and so I have decided to give you a little Reminiscent Wednesday...it's Wednesday right *checking calendar* yes, Wednesday.

When I was 18 I moved away from home for the first time. I didn't just move out of the house, I moved 2,500 miles away! Was I sad? Did I cry? Yes. Yes. But it was the start of an adventure I didn't even know I wanted back then. I drove out with my friend Melanie in my 1993 Hyundai hatchback

Note: this is a googled image, not my actual car...but pretty darn close.

My sister and her boyfriend lead the way in her Ford Escape.

Interjection here: Unbeknownst to me at the time, 18 year old people aren't running on all cylinders, that is to say, our decision making and life preserving skills are not completely developed at 18-years old...that being said - don't judge me for stupid choices...and don't tell my mom.

Okay...so again, I drove out to Utah in that car! It's a miracle it made it, and at a few points (especially Southern Utah) I felt like the car was going to die! It had never been to the mountains before and had no clue what this elevation junk was all about. But it survived and so did we.

I was in Provo for under 48 hours when I was invited to go hiking at 2:00 in the morning...with strangers. They were cute, and there was another girl going (who had apparently also just met them), and one of their friends was coming as well, a grand total of 5. I couldn't talk Melanie into it...she was a little older, maybe her survival instincts had kicked in and she realized that I was embarking on the stupidest adventure ever...she didn't stop me though...and seeing as I am here blogging about it, that's okay-this time.

So we leave super early in the morning, which still feels later to me because my body is running two hours ahead. We drive up to Mount Timpanogos (referred to as 'the mountain' from now on). I think it is only fair to tell you that the reason we were hiking this mountain so early in the morning was to get to the top in time to see the sunrise...there, that should justify my stupidity.

*Said in creepy story teller voice* Now our story really begins. It's a tale of darkness and shadows, adversity, adventures, threatening beasts that lay in wait to destroy and finally triumph.

Before we began to hike up the mountain there was official business that had to be taken care of. It was still dark out, but we found the latrine/outhouse/whatever and took our turns. Having an already overdue water bill I not so patiently waited my turn. It was a rather spacious latrine thing and once inside I found my way to the other side and told myself I needed to go before we started the hike. One problem, I had seen an episode of X-files once where there was an alien or monster living in a porta potty, it would attack people who sat on it and insert it's spawn into them...uh...no thank you. (note: so here we see that I will go to the mountains with strangers without a second thought, but the moment I am faced with a fictitious monster from X-Files I grow timid...) Seeing as how there could be a monster in there and that even if I did have a flashlight I wouldn't be brave enough to look inside, I forewent the privilege of using the restroom before beginning the hike, and then proceeded to complain about it as we started out.

The boys said that I could use the woods but I didn't see how that was any better so I just made myself ignore it. We hiked and hiked and hiked for hours in the dark. At one point we came to a valley and we made our way across it and then we hiked some more. I saw snow, in July...that was very exciting to me because being from Virginia I was lucky if I saw snow in the winter, much less July.

I had to keep stopping though, I was physically tired and drained. I had just driven 2,500 miles across the country in three days, I wasn't used to the elevation, and I certainly wasn't used to the time change. I hadn't slept in almost 24 hours. At one point I sat on a rock (we all did) but when the group was ready to go I told them to leave me there and get me on the way back. They assured me it wasn't much further, but I wouldn't budge...I was dying. So they left me. Had I been older and wiser I would have seen another dumb decision being made, but as it was, I was just grateful to be left alone panting and holding my cramping sides.

I got bored though, not even ten minutes later, I couldn't bear the thought of just sitting there on that rock, waiting for them to come back. The strangest thing happened, I heard the words of my early morning Seminary teacher, the theme my senior year of high school was, "You can do hard things." I looked up towards the top of the mountain, it didn't feel all that close, but I realized I would always regret coming this far and not finishing the journey. So I got up, swung my little Jansport backpack over my shoulders, and followed after my group. Luckily the sun was coming up, and there was a trail, because I'm no tracker.

I had barely gotten back into the hike when I came up to a switchback in the trail that was blocked by Mountain Goats (I mentioned in the last post that there was bad blood between us). I want to point out that at this point in my life I had been around dogs and cats...some wild birds, squirrels (before I knew I hated them), an occasional bunny in my parents yard. I didn't know the protocol with Mountain Goats, their horns looked like good enough weapons, and their beady eyes threatened me as I stared up at them. "You can do hard things" I told myself, but being impaled by a goat didn't seem to land on that list. So I contemplated just crawling up the hill where the trail ended up going anyway. I tried, slid down, tried again...nothing, all the while the goats stared at me. I stood there for a moment, contemplating my fate and then I got angry. These goats were not going to stop me. I moved forward with determination and gusto. Then I timidly passed the goats hoping they didn't really notice me there.

Once passed them I continued on my journey, hoping that at each turn I would be reunited with my group. Finally, I reached the top. It was BEAUTIFUL! My group was so happy that I had decided to finish the hike. I looked out over the scene, I snapped a few pictures, got one taken with me at the top (I will try to find these pictures and post them) and I thought of that theme, "You can do hard things." In conjunction I feel the need to throw out an undeclared theme of my life, "You can do stupid things and still live to tell about them, but don't press your luck."

*Note to reader, I practically ran all the way down, straight into the latrine and used it with the blessed sunlight comforting my paranoia.

A little girl*

Just wanted to let everyone know that my boss had her baby! A little boy named Tyler (yes, I am aware that my post title is "a little girl" but it's the movie quote I thought of so it's the movie quote you get!)



So I went rock climbing again this weekend, we went to a different place this time, one that was all about rock climbing and had all different kinds of walls...and I feel more strongly than ever that I am scared to death of heights. I would scurry up the walls quickly and with relative ease but there would be moments when my hand didn't seem sure enough on a hold for me to move one of my legs and I would take a moment and think, "what the crap am I doing?!" But then I would change holds or find a way to have my hand more secure and then I would move my legs up and get closer to the top.

Each and every time at the top though I froze. I didn't mean to, I had every intention of being a big girl and letting go, but my legs didn't want to hang free and my hands seemed to tighten around whatever hold I had been holding. Jordan and Amber were with me and I could hear them from the depths below, "Let go of the the wall, Jessica!" I feel like if they could have shaken me from the wall with the rope that attached me to them they would have.

Right before I went up the last wall Jordan asked if I was really scared of heights. I told him that I think I might be because I get so scared and despite my intentions to let go of the wall so I can come down I keep wondering if I can get away with crawling back down. He told me that on the next wall I should look around when I am at the top, orient myself to it or something, and then do that as I go down the wall.

...So I tried that, yeah, no bueno...I think it made it worse. The last wall I did was the highest one (I don't know if it was the highest one there or the highest one I did). When I reached the top I tried Jordan's advice and looked around me...I saw the top of the last wall I climbed, and I don't mean the top as though the walls were equal in height, I mean the top where the dust collects and no one ever goes to because it's the flat top of the structure. I could hear Amber below telling me to let go of the wall and simultaneously I could see my knuckles turning white as I held on tighter. Breathe Jessica, just let go. I let my legs go, they dangled there but my hands wouldn't move. Finally, after Amber called out a few more times and I'm certain people were beginning to wonder if we had an emergency on our hands (a code yellow - as in chicken - as in, don't call me chicken* (ok not as in don't call me chicken but I wanted to throw that quote in there too)) I let my hands go and Amber began to bring me down. My hands, acting on their own volition would randomly reach out and hold on to the closest hold, then Amber would repeat for me to let go and I would for a second or two. Then I decided it was best to close my eyes, without the eyes cooperation the hands couldn't act on their own, they wouldn't know where to go. I made it to the bottom safely, happy about getting to the top of this wall, sad that I am a pansy.

I don't want to know nothing. I never saw you throw that gentleman off the balcony. All I care about is: are you happy with your haircut? *

I went rock climbing at VCU last night. I had been rock climbing before, there was the tower at the after graduation at the end of high school, the tower they had at college, and of course the seven foot tall rock wall at the local elementary school (the biggest challenge was crawling over the top and climbing back down...it stumped Elaina at least). So I felt like I had a good grasp on it. Let me tell you something about rock climbing - it hurts! You get going and you're like, "This is kind of fun, look at me fighting gravity!" And then your leg starts to uncontrollably shake, and your hands ache, your arms are screaming at you because you weigh to much for them to be pulling you up (you find out later that you should push with your legs). If that weren't bad enough, the first one I did had a...well I guess it was a cliff or ridge, so now your hands ache, your legs are shaking, your arms are screaming and you're trying to tick gravity off. You are not supposed to be able to crawl up from under a ridge, no, your arms won't let you, your legs suddenly develop paralysis and then, you look down.


Okay, who are we kidding, I am talking in "you"s but really, it's me...I looked down. I have sensed for many, many years now that I may be afraid of heights - the adrenaline rush I get from looking out of a four story window, or when I lean to far on a railing have kind of been the clues (Long gone are the college days when I would wrap my legs around the outside banister of the apartment complex and lean back without holding on with my hands or climbing up on the roof of the three story apartment building). Last night as I looked down at the guy who was my life line I realized that the paralysis in my legs may have come from a debilitating fear, not because they knew better, knew that I wasn't some spider-woman who could climb unnaturally up walls. I resisted the urge to scream, "bring me down!" over and over again and instead I just held on tighter to the wall. I kept wondering how in the world people do this is nature, without the safety of the height limit, the rope, the floor made of recycled tires. I didn't make it to the top that first time. I came down and rested for a bit.


Then I tried the easy wall...yeah, apparently no one thought I should try the easy wall in the first place. So I got hooked back up and made my way to the top. Having just learned to push off with my legs, rather than use my sorry excuse for arm muscles to pull me up. Still, even though it was the easy wall I found myself at points frightened to move, afraid my fingers would slip and I would fall, what can I say, I'm not an adrenaline junkie, falling was not on my list of fun things to do for the evening. I made it to the top, and feeling fulfilled I was going to call it quits for the day. But a different employee asked if I wanted to climb, I said 'no' so he said, 'well, I'll just be sitting here with nothing to do if you change your mind.' Clever trick climbing boy. So I roped up to go up the same one I went up the first time. I am happy to report that I made it further this time, but I still stopped at the dumb ridge, maybe one day I'll be able to make it all the way to the top. Yeah, that's right, I intend to go back and try again.


I think my favorite was how nice all the employees were. I was thinking about that on the drive home, and am still thinking about it. Is it because they have one of the coolest jobs ever? And how do you top this job? These people can't be destined for desk jobs. Did they receive special training in how to be the nicest people in the world? I mean - I honestly felt like I was friends with all of them by the time we left. I'm not one of those people who makes attachments that easily but they were sending off some serious friendship vibes. My life was in their hands, they cheered me on, explained things in a way that didn't make me feel like they thought I was stupid.

Anyway, I'm excited to go back next week.

Excuse me, I have to go die now.*

Life is full of embarrassing moments. Different levels of embarrassing too. One man's embarrassing story is just another man's awkward, fleeting moment soon to be forgotten. I had a face-off like this before. I won, simply because the guy who started the competition only had an awkward story to share as his most embarrassing moment. Forgetting your basketball shorts and having to wear someone else's during a game isn't embarrassing unless they were too big and fell down during the game...sorry Brad, no win on that one. So he got most awkward and I got most embarrassing. But I digress.

I've had big embarrassing moments, like falling down a flight of stairs in an extremely reverent church setting, retelling embarrassing moments (because school, especially college classes, thought that would build unity). ...And that's pretty much it, because I'm not easily embarrassed. At some point in my life, I can't put my finger on when, I developed a sense that something has to be really embarrassing to be an embarrassing moment worth remembering.

The story I am about to tell doesn't hold with it the shame of embarrassment, but rather the shame that comes with getting caught eating cookies from the cookie jar. I share all that embarrassing rhetoric above because at first, I thought I was embarrassed, and now I realize that I'm not actually.

The story involves a sign on the wall at work and two little bottles of super cheap super glue:

A long, long time ago, down on the second floor, the "P" in "group" fell from grace. It plummeted three feet to the carpet below. It was found by a passerby who immediately ran it up to my desk in hopes that I could fix it. I graciously accepted the fallen consonant and warmly welcomed it as an object to add to a growing collection of miscellaneous things at my desk and promptly forgot about it. A few weeks later I saw the "P" amongst my things and decided to try and do something...I passed the buck off to someone else. In my memory, I had e-mailed several people and put up a valiant effort to save this letter, but the facts will tell you otherwise.

The "P" was restored to its rightful place amongst the other letters in "Group" and the fiasco was quickly forgotten about. That is until a few months ago when some unknown stranger was strolling past the conglomerate of words on the wall and found himself stuck to the bottom corner of the "P", the letter holding on desperately to the fabric of this stranger's polo as though its very life depended on it. The stranger was able to free himself, but not before the "P" had loosened the bottom half of it's body, making it easier to latch on to other passersby.

Calls and e-mails flooded my voicemail and inbox. I had recalled from the first time that the people who put up the sign had been no help and that we had used something akin to super glue, so I put in an order for super glue. When it arrived my new partner in crime, Lil' Bit, and I went to the second floor to investigate the situation and to put things right.

After two bottles of super glue, several moments of panic as we thought out fingers were stuck to the letters and standing, pushing against the wall as quite a few people from the office walked by with smart remarks and hardy-har-hars, the 'P' as well as the 'R' were sturdy and immovable. There were, however, permanent finger prints on the letters, encapsulated by dried super glue, and an incredibly accurate right angle of dried glue on the wall that had dripped down from one of the letters.

The incident is infamous, with even the CEO knowledgeable about what we had done. The people from the sign company denied ever telling us to use super glue and they came to inspect the damage...dismal in their eyes, but the letters aren't hurting anyone anymore so I feel like crime has been fought and justice satisfied. I kept up my vigilant search for the e-mail that would prove we had done what we should have done, but couldn't find it. I finally broke down and sent a text to the only woman who would know/remember what had really happened. Here is our conversation:

Troublemaker: We called the company and they put it back 4 us...they have special stuff they put on there 4 it...it won't stay up if you put glue or anything on there.'
Me: Soo....super glue is a bad idea. Got it. Thanks!
Troublemaker: Did u try and super glue it back???
Me: I don't want to talk about it...but sadly, it was the highlight of my week.
Troublemaker: that made me giggle...i still love u!

When I told Lil' Bit that I may have been wrong about the glue she said that she would handle it, I told her it was my doing, I would take care of it, she smiled up and me and said, "Let's not pretend we both didn't have something to do with it." And in that moment I thought of a saying I had read a long time ago, "A good friend will come bail you out of jail, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying...'that was fun!'"

The pain and closest thing to embarrassment in this situation? I remembered something that never happened and let it guide my actions. The highlight? Apparently Lil' Bit and I accomplished the impossible. They said it wouldn't stick...but it's sticking!

Is there air? You don't know!*

I have officially had it with nature! I woke up early today, I went walking with Kathryn and then I came home to mow the lawn. I had a lot on my list of things to do today. Walking (was running but walking is just as good), mow the lawn, do the dishes, change the filter, do a little gardening maybe, shower and get ready for the day. That was just this morning's agenda. I am officially out of commission, and I'll tell you why.

This guy, that's why. I was mowing the lawn and I felt this sharp pain to the right of my knee cap. Not actually unusual for me to feel a sharp pain from time to time. But then the pain persisted. I thought for a moment and was like, "Could be a bee sting. No, couldn't be a bee sting, I don't get stung by bees."

It's true, I haven't been stung by a bee since I was a child. So for me, knowing if it was a bee sting was difficult (this is the girl who didn't know her foot was broken cause she didn't know what it felt like to break something inside of you). I looked down and sure enough, there was a bee on my shoe. They die right? When they sting you? At least that's what I was asking myself out in my backyard as I flicked him off my shoe. The pain persisted though, so I hobbled inside. I got into the house and grabbed some poison ice (the filter still isn't changed, so the ice coming out of that machine is unclean). The pain got really bad so I took off my pants and as I did so I found culprit number two. What kind of perverted bee flies up some one's pants? It's downright rude. I ran to the back and got the vacuum...cause the vacuum is the world's greatest invention and perfect for quick bug fixes...but when I came back he was gone. I didn't have a chance to focus on this because the pain started shooting up my leg! "I'm dying!" I called out, I could be allergic and not even know. What do people do for bee stings? If I'm allergic how long do I have before the anaphylaxic shock? Stay calm Jessica...Google it. And guess what? No bueno, none of the sites really helped me. One said to make sure the stinger is out...the stinger could still be in my leg!?!? I'm still being poisoned!?!?! I run into the bathroom to hold my leg up to the light, what does the stinger look like? A splinter? There was nothing there, nothing at all, unless the stinger is microscopic, in which case, how the heck am I supposed to find it? What if it went all the way inside my skin and is now surfing through my life force? How much venom can one little bee pack?

I read up on what it's going to be like, an "annoying pain" for a few moments, then a dull ache, then just tender around injection site for a few days. Tender, I can deal with it being tender, just wait for the annoying pain to subside. But apparently a few minutes to me is different than a few minutes to the author of this article, it's been well over twenty minutes and even now it's still the annoying pain.

Anyway, I thought the pain had gone away so I grabbed a different pair of pants because I wasn't chancing this. I shook my shoes out in case the monster had decided to fly in there for one more attack and then I headed outside. The front yard will wait, but the filter would at least get done. I open up the shed with the filtration system in it and right in front of me is a big-butted spider. He wasn't there the other day! He's in the way and I don't have my vacuum on me. I square my shoulders, this isn't going to stop me. I pull out the directions for changing the filter...that will stop me. Turn off the water source? What water source? Where is it coming from? How do I turn it off? Red release...what, red release button something, something... As I looked away from the directions that's when I noticed the second spider in the shed, right where my legs would go when I'm changing the filter. I narrow my eyes, "I hate you." I hiss at him, "and you too." to the big-butted spider. "And all bees!" At this point the annoying pain is un-ignorable. I grab my stuff, lock up the shed and head back towards the house. I had grabbed a pair of boots off of the deck and as I was headed through the gate I noticed a spider crawling on the boot. I started to beat it against the gate, I'm glad my neighbors weren't outside to see me doing this as I said over and over, "I'm done with nature!" And I am. I am not going out there anymore today. I just still can't believe I got stung by a bee...who does that anymore?

So it begins*

Training has begun for the 10k. It's funny, I haven't been running in a while but when my feet hit the pavement last week it felt right. Yesterday morning and this morning weren't bad either. However, this morning I had a vision: It was the day of the race, we are two miles in and I can see Kathryn fading in the distance and I'm thinking, "This seemed do-able three weeks ago." ...or maybe this was a memory from last year's race. Race day always seems harder then any training day. I think the thousands upon thousands of people running around me mess me up. I need an open stretch of road so I can set my own pace and focus on immovable objects to run towards...I don't need anyone slowing me down, causing me to move to the right or left when there is an available space to move, or to have people passing me by - leaving me to feel like I am going too slow.

Anyway, let's move on to life now.

Highlights from work today:

First thing this morning we sat in front of the window and admired the rainbow.

It's there, over to the left...look closely. It looked cooler in real life.

Later this morning...Conversation between Wanda and me:

Me: Blah, Blah, Blah (something important I'm sure)

Wanda: I'm not ignoring you, I just stopped listening.

Crickets

Me: Isn't that the very definition of ignoring?

Wanda: Shut-up, you know what I meant.

Highlights from last night

Chubbers found out we have a cat living in the house. He doesn't get out much, or interact much with smaller animals (or any) and I don't know if he wanted to play or kill, but Amber said I could let him into her room because she felt it was time for Sassy and Chubbs to meet. I didn't feel comfortable with the idea but she assured me that all was well. Sassy ran for under the bed, and despite seeing this Chubbs felt the need to sniff her out. He got distracted by a toy mouse and the bowl of cat food, but soon he found the portal to Sassy's hiding place. Amber felt certain he couldn't fit so we let him sniff around, but suddenly it was as though he was being pulled through a black hole!! I swear his body just disappeared and all I could see and grab hold of were his hind legs. I screamed - which I want to say is unusual for me, but I am beginning to wonder lately. I don't know if I screamed because he quickly began to disappear, or if it was because I feared for Sassy life. I know now, that I am clear minded, that I would have hated if anything happened to Sassy, especially at the paws of my pup. I dragged him out of the room but the rest of the night he kept trying to find a way back in there.

Highlights from my trip to The Wal-Mart

Yes, that's a dog in the driver's seat. Hope he has his license.

As I was leaving The Wal-Mart I had a brief encounter with a man sitting in a car near mine.

Car man: Are you a nurse?

Me: (Worried he might be hurt and I might have to help) No, sorry.

Car man: Well, you look like one.

Me: Well my mom's one.

Car man: Really?

Me: Yeah.

Car man: Well you look like one. I mean, you look quality.

Me: Thanks! You have a good night!

Car man: You too.

I told my roommate this story and she said that I was hit on at The Wal-Mart...seriously? "Are you a nurse?" is a pick up line? If it is then I think I have proven once again that pick-up lines have no effect on me. Maybe it's my super human power, to be completely oblivious to this stuff.

I also made a friend in the parking lot, an old man who couldn't find his car (and neither could I) we found our cars at the same time. No one ever talks to me at the Short Pump or Parham Wal-marts...who cares if this one is ghetto, they are a lot nicer then the West End! Shutting up now.

Do you have any idea how much that stings?*

This weekend was busy, in a good way. I started Saturday morning off with a basketball game, always a good way to start your weekend unless you ran out of cereal and ate a granola bar for breakfast. Eek. It was a good game though, despite the fact that we lost I really enjoyed playing. And I stuffed someone and slid on the floor like a Jurassic Park victim being dragged into the jungle on my stomach....what more could a girl desire from a basketball game?

I went straight from the game on Southside to my sister's baby shower on the west end (approximately 30 minutes away). That was fun as well. I have to admit that I am not a fan of these "showers". Bridal and baby showers lost their flare for me in my early years unfortunately, so at 27 I have been to more than enough. But this one was good, just food, talking and gifts. I didn't have to guess what melted candy bar lay in the diaper, the baby food in unmarked jars, I didn't have to put a diaper on a baby doll or guess how many sheets of toilet paper would fit around the mom-to-be's tummy. So, another success in my book.

I left there because of a headache building in the front of my skull, it's just a brain eating amoeba I've picked up, no biggie. So I took some drugs (legal and over the counter) and fell asleep for an hour at home. I woke up with the headache, but got ready for the Regional YSA activity which I had to go an hour early and help set up for. Before leaving the house though I took a few more drugs because I couldn't seem to shake the headache.

During set up the headache remained, but it went away close to time for the activity to start (thank goodness, I am a grump when I have headaches). I was assigned to be the greeter, or as I like to consider myself, the traffic controller. I directed people to where they needed to be. The activity had a pretty good turn out, a lot better then I actually expected...and a lot more fun then I thought it would be. I guess we would call that pleasantly surprised. I didn't even really get to play any games, but I did get to play knock out and talk to some cute boys...so I guess this is a win. I was in charge of the bake-off. I got the contestants to drop their baked goods off in the kitchen, at the appropriate time I rounded up the judges, and then I made them hurry up and get the process over with. I guess I was in a hurry because as soon as they were done I could go do what I wanted to do because my part would be over until clean up.

We announced the winners and then had a few more contests and announced those winners. At the end of which Joseph (our Regional YSA leader) announced that any left over prizes were up for grabs. He had just gone to the dollar store and bought a bunch of random gifts that children ages 2-12 and Young Single Adults ages 18-30 absolutely love.

It was at this point I had my awkward moment for the day. I was so close to not having one, but that' s a red flag all in itself. The day would not be complete if it ended awkward moment free. I had told my friend that the prizes were a free for all because he had wanted one. Later, I saw him standing in front of the prize box digging through with some guy I didn't know. Now, normally I would go up and put my hand on his back or his arm (or sometimes I just grab his hand and start holding it) if you know who I am talking about (DFV) you know this is normal behavior between the two of us. Fortunately I didn't do that, I just ever so rudely walked between the two boys as they were perusing the goods and said, "Find anything good?" and looked at DFV only to discover that it was not DFV. Awkward. So what do I do? In hindsight the best thing to do would have been to smile, introduce myself to the guys or even better, laugh and say, "I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else." But that's what hindsight Jessica does, she looks back and says, "No, this action plan would have been better." Instead I waited for him to answer, looked at the box, and then left. For all intents and purposes this stranger will now be DFV2.

Among the prizes were some frisbees. Two people that I didn't know decided to throw the frisbee back and forth in the gym (bad idea alert). Either they couldn't throw or the frisbees sucked, and to be honest my first thought (since I don't know them) was that they just weren't good at it. They got a girl in the throat with the frisbee and they should have stopped there. I was talking to my friend, Katie, when it happened. We were standing in the gym, talking about who knows what, and I move towards the wall a little and told Katie is was because I was worried that I was going to get hit with a frisbee. We move to the side, continue conversation and all of a suddenly something hits me in the face, hard. I was a bit shocked to say the least. I don't think I even had time to react, Katie looked pretty surprised too. As I recall it, she said, "You just got hit by a frisbee!" I get ready to face the offender, because no one runs away like a coward in a church gym after they've hit a girl in the face with sporting equipment. Who should be running towards me with an apology? DFV2. Go figure. Is this karma? Hindsight Jessica has to wonder if all of this would have been avoided if I had just introduced myself, maybe it would have delayed his frisbee playing thus saving my lip.

So reflexively my eyes start watering and I bring my finger up to my throbbing lip. When my finger comes away there is an unexpected little surprise, a red streak...I am bleeding. I didn't actually expect that, though to be honest I don't know what I was trying to tell myself that copper taste in my mouth was. So DFV2 runs off to get some napkins and he grabs about 47 and brings them over. Katie tells me I have some blood on my tooth and I should wipe it off so it doesn't stain and DFV2 says it shouldn't and Katie says, "Are you a dentist?" and I laugh because I feel like the only way she'll let him win that one is if he says, "yes". Then they start talking and I am sent away to the kitchen to get my own ice for my swelling lip. Thanks people. I spent the rest of the evening with a wad of napkins on my mouth. I found two people willing to be seen with me (thanks Brad and Kristin) and sat with them talking. Brad wanted to know my most awkward moment and I was thinking, "Besides talking to you with a wad of tissues pressed against my face?" I finally came up with one that topped his story, but we have agreed that his is most awkward, mine is most embarrassing. But really, I don't know what makes him think he can compete in that department with me. I have at least 1 experience a week.

So far no one at work has mentioned my bruised lip. This could be for three reasons, they either don't notice. They think it is a result of domestic violence and don't want to get in to it. Or three, they are just used to seeing me with bruises that they've stopped caring. Wish it had been from the game rather then from conversation.

You think you're too cool for school, well I've got a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite...you aren't.*

I started my class last night, the Human Resource class to help me pass the PHR exam. It reminded me a lot of a class I took in college my first semester, Intro to German. Just a head's up, I dropped it in the first week. The class may have said "intro" but everyone in there had taken it all through high school, I had never taken it.
I say this because last night I took my seat in the classroom, talked to a few people, and then class started. As we went around the room people stood, said their name, what they do, and what designation they were going for (PHR or SPHR). As people were talking about their ten plus years experience (okay, really, that was one person, everyone else was in the 20+ years) I grew more nervous. I was the baby. It wasn't just that I only have two and half years experience (not counting my year as a trainer even though I was in the HR department) but I was beginning to wonder if I was doing this all prematurely. Would the instructor get to me, let me ramble and then say, "Are you sure you're supposed to be in this class?" My kidneys began to ache, my heart beat rapidly, my palms were sweaty - and then it was my turn, "Hi, I'm Jessica, um, I'm actually an HR assistant and um, I am here for the PHR." I refused to tell them my amount of experience. I spent the next ten minutes waiting for my kidneys to stop hurting.
After we wasted the first hour we got into the meat of the course...except it was just the instructor reading quickly through the manual. I hate when teachers do that, they do it at church all the time. You read it before, let's talk about the important stuff and if you are talking and I look down at the book and see that you are just reading random sentences that pop out to you I'm going to stop listening. I can't even really follow because you jump all over the page. I know I need to work on that, but why waste the time? My homework is to read the whole first book before Monday (186 pages), why focus in class only to have to read the same thing later? But I did try to focus, I want to do well, I want to get it over in one shot. The exam itself is about $300...I don't want to have to take that thing twice.
The instructor of course, put me at ease when she let me know that the PHR and SPHR seem to take great pride in their failure rating. Phew, I was worried the test would be easy. We wouldn't want me stressing out about it or anything. It certainly didn't help that she told us at the beginning of class that she has never taught before.
A positive thing about having no experience is that many of the 20+ people have tried to take it once or twice already and they miss by a few points and they kept saying how the exam is not real world, there is a difference between real world and what the book says. Hallelujah, I don't know much about real world HR yet, so I should be able to learn this stuff without the distraction of how it's done in the real world.
Wish me luck folks, I have a 41% chance of failing.