Monday, February 22, 2010

Do you have any idea how much that stings?*

This weekend was busy, in a good way. I started Saturday morning off with a basketball game, always a good way to start your weekend unless you ran out of cereal and ate a granola bar for breakfast. Eek. It was a good game though, despite the fact that we lost I really enjoyed playing. And I stuffed someone and slid on the floor like a Jurassic Park victim being dragged into the jungle on my stomach....what more could a girl desire from a basketball game?

I went straight from the game on Southside to my sister's baby shower on the west end (approximately 30 minutes away). That was fun as well. I have to admit that I am not a fan of these "showers". Bridal and baby showers lost their flare for me in my early years unfortunately, so at 27 I have been to more than enough. But this one was good, just food, talking and gifts. I didn't have to guess what melted candy bar lay in the diaper, the baby food in unmarked jars, I didn't have to put a diaper on a baby doll or guess how many sheets of toilet paper would fit around the mom-to-be's tummy. So, another success in my book.

I left there because of a headache building in the front of my skull, it's just a brain eating amoeba I've picked up, no biggie. So I took some drugs (legal and over the counter) and fell asleep for an hour at home. I woke up with the headache, but got ready for the Regional YSA activity which I had to go an hour early and help set up for. Before leaving the house though I took a few more drugs because I couldn't seem to shake the headache.

During set up the headache remained, but it went away close to time for the activity to start (thank goodness, I am a grump when I have headaches). I was assigned to be the greeter, or as I like to consider myself, the traffic controller. I directed people to where they needed to be. The activity had a pretty good turn out, a lot better then I actually expected...and a lot more fun then I thought it would be. I guess we would call that pleasantly surprised. I didn't even really get to play any games, but I did get to play knock out and talk to some cute I guess this is a win. I was in charge of the bake-off. I got the contestants to drop their baked goods off in the kitchen, at the appropriate time I rounded up the judges, and then I made them hurry up and get the process over with. I guess I was in a hurry because as soon as they were done I could go do what I wanted to do because my part would be over until clean up.

We announced the winners and then had a few more contests and announced those winners. At the end of which Joseph (our Regional YSA leader) announced that any left over prizes were up for grabs. He had just gone to the dollar store and bought a bunch of random gifts that children ages 2-12 and Young Single Adults ages 18-30 absolutely love.

It was at this point I had my awkward moment for the day. I was so close to not having one, but that' s a red flag all in itself. The day would not be complete if it ended awkward moment free. I had told my friend that the prizes were a free for all because he had wanted one. Later, I saw him standing in front of the prize box digging through with some guy I didn't know. Now, normally I would go up and put my hand on his back or his arm (or sometimes I just grab his hand and start holding it) if you know who I am talking about (DFV) you know this is normal behavior between the two of us. Fortunately I didn't do that, I just ever so rudely walked between the two boys as they were perusing the goods and said, "Find anything good?" and looked at DFV only to discover that it was not DFV. Awkward. So what do I do? In hindsight the best thing to do would have been to smile, introduce myself to the guys or even better, laugh and say, "I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else." But that's what hindsight Jessica does, she looks back and says, "No, this action plan would have been better." Instead I waited for him to answer, looked at the box, and then left. For all intents and purposes this stranger will now be DFV2.

Among the prizes were some frisbees. Two people that I didn't know decided to throw the frisbee back and forth in the gym (bad idea alert). Either they couldn't throw or the frisbees sucked, and to be honest my first thought (since I don't know them) was that they just weren't good at it. They got a girl in the throat with the frisbee and they should have stopped there. I was talking to my friend, Katie, when it happened. We were standing in the gym, talking about who knows what, and I move towards the wall a little and told Katie is was because I was worried that I was going to get hit with a frisbee. We move to the side, continue conversation and all of a suddenly something hits me in the face, hard. I was a bit shocked to say the least. I don't think I even had time to react, Katie looked pretty surprised too. As I recall it, she said, "You just got hit by a frisbee!" I get ready to face the offender, because no one runs away like a coward in a church gym after they've hit a girl in the face with sporting equipment. Who should be running towards me with an apology? DFV2. Go figure. Is this karma? Hindsight Jessica has to wonder if all of this would have been avoided if I had just introduced myself, maybe it would have delayed his frisbee playing thus saving my lip.
So reflexively my eyes start watering and I bring my finger up to my throbbing lip. When my finger comes away there is an unexpected little surprise, a red streak...I am bleeding. I didn't actually expect that, though to be honest I don't know what I was trying to tell myself that copper taste in my mouth was. So DFV2 runs off to get some napkins and he grabs about 47 and brings them over. Katie tells me I have some blood on my tooth and I should wipe it off so it doesn't stain and DFV2 says it shouldn't and Katie says, "Are you a dentist?" and I laugh because I feel like the only way she'll let him win that one is if he says, "yes". Then they start talking and I am sent away to the kitchen to get my own ice for my swelling lip. Thanks people. I spent the rest of the evening with a wad of napkins on my mouth. I found two people willing to be seen with me (thanks Brad and Kristin) and sat with them talking. Brad wanted to know my most awkward moment and I was thinking, "Besides talking to you with a wad of tissues pressed against my face?" I finally came up with one that topped his story, but we have agreed that his is most awkward, mine is most embarrassing. But really, I don't know what makes him think he can compete in that department with me. I have at least 1 experience a week.

So far no one at work has mentioned my bruised lip. This could be for three reasons, they either don't notice. They think it is a result of domestic violence and don't want to get in to it. Or three, they are just used to seeing me with bruises that they've stopped caring. Wish it had been from the game rather then from conversation.


Katie H said...

men in black?

i am sorry for your misfortune. but the term "dfv2" made me laugh. for the entire post. :)

i trip up the stairs on an almost-daily basis. does this count as embarrassing, or just awkward?

Sarah said...

aah, awkward moments...they truly make you tough though!

Ed Donbrosky said...

Sorry Jess. My most awkward moment at least did not involve personal injury, though looking back it probably could have...

Ash said...

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard! You're descriptions of the basketball game and regional activity are hilarious. By the way, I am NOT famous. I just go on the news once in awhile (once) and then go on the 8 news set to film FHE movies (once). That's all!!


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