Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
...and then I walked through the Lincoln tunnel*
I have often found myself enjoying your ice-cream which still seems to sell an actual half gallon for a fair price, unlike two of your unnamed competitors. Being an individual who does not consume chocolate products I am always on the look out for sans chocolate ice cream flavors that do not involve some kind of fruit combination. I am a fan of the classic vanilla bean with real bean specks, Ben and Jerry's Cinnabun, and the seasonal Pumpkin and Peppermint. So you can imagine my surprise and complete joy when I came across your Peanut Butter Cookie ice cream. How I have dreamt about a cookie ice cream that didn't involve chocolate! I have wanted ice cream makers to have "brown sugar cookie dough" ice cream and "Golden oreo cookies and cream" but there doesn't seem to be the market for it. I must admit that peanut butter cookies did not find their way into my mental idea pit, but upon seeing it I marvelled at how they hadn't before!
I quickly purchased the ice cream and thought of little else until I was finally able to scoop some into a bowl and partake! Oh it was exquisite, pure peanut butter joy that my tongue has never before experienced from a carton. But then...then I came to what I will refer to as, the cookie chunk. It has been years since I have had cookies and cream ice cream, but I feel most ardently that the cookies within that ice cream are softened, for they must be to match the softness of the ice cream that encapsulates it. The cookie chunk however has had no softening. To be fair I feel certain that the cookie chunk on its own is marvelous, probably best warm, but never in my life have I ever had a peanut butter cookie that hard, and within the gentle folds of the ice cream? I shudder to think that in someone's mind they thought a consumer would be delighted to find in the midst of their soft ice cream a veritable land mind of potential tooth breaking cookie chunks. Some say that they must be frozen, that is why they are so hard. However, I have tested this hypothesis, I have left them out at room temperature, but nothing seems to change these hard hearted cookie chunks.
Do yourselves and me a favor, soften the cookie chunks! As is, I find it is as though you have concocted peanut butter flavored rocks! I would very much like to continue my purchase of peanut butter cookie ice cream, but I find it goes against every moral fiber of my being to purchase it when it houses such abhorrent little chunks. Please write when the cookie chunks have been sufficiently softened and I would love to do business with you and your peanut butter cookie ice cream once more.
Sincerely,
Lildonbro
Confection Connoisseur
The House of Fug

I try not to get emotionally attached with the houses before I see them, the last one was such a disappointment. It looked nothing like the pictures and said nothing about the indoor swimming pool (i.e. the flooded basement). The other realtor said to not freak out because there will be a little water in the basement, she did not say that I could baptize grown men in the depths of the murky water. She also didn't mention that the washer/dryer hookups are located beneath that water, so...good luck.



We'll see.
Friday, December 18, 2009
If I ever get out of here I'm getting my eyes lasered*
I took this picture after about an hour of snow. Takes me back to college, ah Rexburg, how I miss thee. I drove home under the speed limit the whole way, which is impressive but I think the imminent danger of spinning out in the snow kept me cautious (thank you I-15 for that thrilling and absolutely pant wetting experience).
The problem for any pet owner...mostly just dog owners, in the snow is that most of them who haven't had much experience in the snow find they don't trust the stuff. I mean, their backyards are literally transformed, it's super white, bright, and releases little time bombs of freezing cold moisture that latch on to every inch of your pet that it can. So...understandably they'd rather hold it then go out into the snow. Such is the case with my dog. He had to go to the bathroom last night but refused to leave the porch, in fact, he refused to go on the porch but I pushed him out the door, quickly closing it behind him. He stared pitifully (like poison, pitiful, pathetic*) up at me for a few moments, then he glanced at the side of the porch he jumps over to escape the yard, I could see in his face he was wondering if it would be worth it. Jumping was taking a big chance, he had no idea if this white stuff was just in our yard or if it had attacked the world he knew beyond the gate. He slowly started to walk over, trying to call my bluff, which he did. I opened the door and he came running back in. Then, this morning he needed to go (because he held it all night) and I took him to the door. Still nothing, he wouldn't go.
So I got bundled up, walked him to the door and I went on the porch first. Of course I took my camera with me. He stood in the doorway looking like this for a couple of minutes...
Finally I cheered him on until he came outside and went down into the yard.
He kept holding up his back leg to try and keep it from getting wet...why that one leg, I'm not sure, but it was funny to see what my dog would look like if he were a tripod. A few minutes after we came back in he had to go out again (remember, he held it the whole night). So I took him to the door but didn't go out with him...I had to give my dog a pep talk, seriously. I reminded him that he's done it before and he can do it again. He finally ran out the door, followed the path he had already made in the snow, did his business, ran back (as a tripod) to the porch, tried to jump over the snow covered steps onto the porch and slide right past the door. He stopped just before the barricade on the porch and then made his way to the door. It was like watching an intense action scene on a movie!! Not really, but I wanted it to sound cooler then it was because I found so much entertainment in it.
I absolutely love being snowed in. It's makes being lazy acceptable.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Taking a chance on an unknown kid*
Addendum to my nicknames: Donbron (most guys at church), D-money (work), and The Brow (Amber)...happy now? :P
Onward blogger!
Tuesday night I did one of the best things I could ever do, I indulged Elaina Monster Truck Butterface in one of her crazy desires. Mentos and coke.
Then Chris taught us fire breathing.
In case you were wondering about Chris's outfit it's because he didn't want to get his clothes dirty...he doesn't just walk around like that.
Elaina got pretty excited about it and wanted to try it out too.
The flash made her face too white, but hopefully you can see the cornstarch damage.
Thus ends this chapter of the adventures of Butterface.
What's in a name?*

Monday, December 14, 2009
It twas, SOAP posioning!*
I stared at paperclips, wishing they would magically change into safety pins, but alas, they never did. I tried to tuck the lips of the hole under each other, but they wouldn't stick. So in a moment where I was clenching the sweater with my fingertips, willing them to merge back together I looked upon my stapler and a thought occurred to me. I grabbed the stapler and tried to stick the bulk of it down my neck so that the fabric would be between it, but the sweater was too thick and how do you play that one off should someone walk by? Finally I squeezed the fabric and fed it through the stapler until I was certain it was in there and then I stapled it. One staple. I used the turtle neck part to cover up the staple, which happens to catch the fabric nicely and keep it in place (I don't really know because I haven't looked at it, but in my mind this is working out perfectly). I think it will hold until lunch.
