The other day a dear friend, who shall remain nameless, randomly said to me that I was smarter then I let on - or something to that affect. It got me to thinking about what I "let on" about myself. I will admit that I play dumb from time to time, it comes in handy with boys you don't want to date and confrontational conversations that you don't want to face. I am hoping that at least one reader knows what I am talking about and that they do the same. Otherwise, I'm different and well, so be it. Regardless of all of that I immediately took it as an insult. I mean, "let on" implies that I am intentionally coming across as unintelligent. I don't think that I intentionally do it, which makes me wonder how the world perceives me. A quote that I like is, "What other people think of you is none of your business." I have no clue who said this. Since I like this quote I feel I am not really allowed to wonder what other people think of me.
Anyway, seeing as hypocrisy is something I just can't avoid, I e-mailed this friend yesterday to discuss what she had said to me, because I know she didn't mean it to hurt my feelings or to be taken the wrong way. She was just the first person to ever say something like that to me. She wrote back that what she meant was that I was more intelligent then I portray. She also said that in large groups I like to make lots of jokes, but in smaller groups I have deeper conversations. That got me thinking, how many comedians do you think are intelligent? I'm sure that they all are, but if you were asked to think of intelligent people, how many would come to mind right away?
In the end I think I have come to cope with the fact that my "intelligence" has surprised her and probably has surprised many of my friends in the past who just never said anything. I guess that is just something I will have to deal with, as I would prefer to be considered funny over being considered intelligent (and let's throw in rational because let's be honest, playing irrational is so much fun). Suddenly I feel like an ogre and an onion with my many smelly layers that make you cry. You know, not everybody likes onions.*