First off - I realize that my last real post made things sound worse than they were. I think I worried AshB and I didn't mean to, I was hoping to express how even though all these things were going wrong, I knew that the Lord was with me.
I was recently reminded of a talk from Sacrament meeting a few weeks ago, where our high councilman was talking about how we sometimes hold on to hard feelings from perceived wrong doings. Yesterday, my best friend (without realizing it) kind of modified that, basically she just ripped out the "perceived" and while it injured my pride for a good 6 hours, I knew deep down she was right...I had just wanted her to take my side. But that's karma cause I do the same thing to her and I think that's what makes a really good best friend. Someone who doesn't let you sit there and feel sorry for yourself, but reminds you that it is up to you to make things better.
So - I have this feeling of wrong doing, but I'm not completely innocent in the situation either, I just don't know how to make it right. I have apologized for my part and I'm trying to pretend that I don't notice this person won't look at me or talk to me or wishes I weren't there. Cause...it's obvious. But Best Friend said to play ignorant, to still extend love, and that's what I will try to do, because I know she's right about this one.
I came across a quote:
We need to be kinder with one another, more gentle and forgiving. We need to be slower to anger and more prompt to help. We need to extend the hand of friendship and resist the hand of retribution. In short, we need to love one another with the pure love of Christ, with genuine charity and compassion and, if necessary, shared suffering, for that is the way God loves us....At first, my selfish brain read it and was like, "Yeah, be nicer to me!" and then slowly my mind changed, I need to be kinder, I need to be more gentle and forgiving, slower to anger and more prompt to help. I think it's funny how anything we have that can justify our anger also rebukes us for not being the bigger (wo)man.
"We need to walk more resolutely and more charitably the path that Jesus has shown. We need to 'pause to help and lift another' and surely we will find 'strength beyond [our] own.' If we would do more to learn 'the healer's art,' there would be untold chances to use it, to touch the 'wounded and the weary' and show to all 'a gentle[r] heart' (Howard W. Hunter: A More Excellent Way Ensign, May 1992, 61).