His first name is Agent.*

I think I hate myself.  Here's why I think I so:

1) I decided last week that I was going to give up sugar 6 out of 7 days of the week.  I realized that with all the stress in my life I was eating sugar like crazy....like crazy.  I had sugar at my desk, I would eat sugar when I got home, I would eat sugar after dinner, I even started to eat sugar in the mornings...for breakfast.  Not straight sugar...things like cakes, cookies, ice cream, Amish friendship bread (that was what I allowed myself to eat for breakfast at least 3 days last week).  You know - now that I am writing it out, maybe eating all that sugar meant I hated myself.  I decided to do 6 out of 7 days because I feel I can do anything for 6 days.  I can delay eating sugar if I know that on Sunday I can eat whatever I want.

So I woke up Monday with the determination to not eat OBVIOUS sugar (several people have given me grief about eating bread and pasta and anything else that might have sugar in it - I am just cutting out cookies, candy, cakes, ice cream, etc.)  Monday evening I almost let myself have a bowl of Captain Crunch for dessert because I figured sugary cereal is better than ice-cream or cake right?  But I told myself that would be cheating and didn't do it.  I must say (and I'll probably regret this) that it hasn't been too difficult.  I think yesterday was when it might have been the worst - I finished lunch and looked around for something sweet and then I remembered I'm not doing that...not even a sugar free mint! 

Negatives:

• I'm not eating sugar - so when people offer me some, even if it's something I love and rarely eat, I have to say 'no'
• I'm not eating sugar...the love of my life...

Positives:

• I don't feel as hungry throughout the day - before I was just always hungry all the time, but now I look at the clock and realize I made it all the way to 11 without a snack.
• I've lost two pounds (I know this won't continue unless I throw in more cardiovascular stuff).
• It hasn't been as difficult as I thought it would be.  I didn't go through withdrawal and I am drinking more water when I think I am hungry. 
• It will probably save me money at the grocery store - I haven't gone shopping yet, so we will see.

2) The second reason I think I might hate myself is that I have signed up for the half marathon again! Again people! I blame a guy at work who walked by my desk this morning and said, "So are you going to run the half marathon again?"  I told him how I have done a good job of talking myself out of it up to this point and how I've been using my ankle as an excuse (cause it feels funny after all sports - but it doesn't hurt - except this past Wednesday).  But we got talking about it and I realized I wanted the challenge of running the half marathon with my still fat ankle.  What is wrong with me?