Do you have any idea how much that stings?*

This weekend was busy, in a good way. I started Saturday morning off with a basketball game, always a good way to start your weekend unless you ran out of cereal and ate a granola bar for breakfast. Eek. It was a good game though, despite the fact that we lost I really enjoyed playing. And I stuffed someone and slid on the floor like a Jurassic Park victim being dragged into the jungle on my stomach....what more could a girl desire from a basketball game?

I went straight from the game on Southside to my sister's baby shower on the west end (approximately 30 minutes away). That was fun as well. I have to admit that I am not a fan of these "showers". Bridal and baby showers lost their flare for me in my early years unfortunately, so at 27 I have been to more than enough. But this one was good, just food, talking and gifts. I didn't have to guess what melted candy bar lay in the diaper, the baby food in unmarked jars, I didn't have to put a diaper on a baby doll or guess how many sheets of toilet paper would fit around the mom-to-be's tummy. So, another success in my book.

I left there because of a headache building in the front of my skull, it's just a brain eating amoeba I've picked up, no biggie. So I took some drugs (legal and over the counter) and fell asleep for an hour at home. I woke up with the headache, but got ready for the Regional YSA activity which I had to go an hour early and help set up for. Before leaving the house though I took a few more drugs because I couldn't seem to shake the headache.

During set up the headache remained, but it went away close to time for the activity to start (thank goodness, I am a grump when I have headaches). I was assigned to be the greeter, or as I like to consider myself, the traffic controller. I directed people to where they needed to be. The activity had a pretty good turn out, a lot better then I actually expected...and a lot more fun then I thought it would be. I guess we would call that pleasantly surprised. I didn't even really get to play any games, but I did get to play knock out and talk to some cute boys...so I guess this is a win. I was in charge of the bake-off. I got the contestants to drop their baked goods off in the kitchen, at the appropriate time I rounded up the judges, and then I made them hurry up and get the process over with. I guess I was in a hurry because as soon as they were done I could go do what I wanted to do because my part would be over until clean up.

We announced the winners and then had a few more contests and announced those winners. At the end of which Joseph (our Regional YSA leader) announced that any left over prizes were up for grabs. He had just gone to the dollar store and bought a bunch of random gifts that children ages 2-12 and Young Single Adults ages 18-30 absolutely love.

It was at this point I had my awkward moment for the day. I was so close to not having one, but that' s a red flag all in itself. The day would not be complete if it ended awkward moment free. I had told my friend that the prizes were a free for all because he had wanted one. Later, I saw him standing in front of the prize box digging through with some guy I didn't know. Now, normally I would go up and put my hand on his back or his arm (or sometimes I just grab his hand and start holding it) if you know who I am talking about (DFV) you know this is normal behavior between the two of us. Fortunately I didn't do that, I just ever so rudely walked between the two boys as they were perusing the goods and said, "Find anything good?" and looked at DFV only to discover that it was not DFV. Awkward. So what do I do? In hindsight the best thing to do would have been to smile, introduce myself to the guys or even better, laugh and say, "I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else." But that's what hindsight Jessica does, she looks back and says, "No, this action plan would have been better." Instead I waited for him to answer, looked at the box, and then left. For all intents and purposes this stranger will now be DFV2.

Among the prizes were some frisbees. Two people that I didn't know decided to throw the frisbee back and forth in the gym (bad idea alert). Either they couldn't throw or the frisbees sucked, and to be honest my first thought (since I don't know them) was that they just weren't good at it. They got a girl in the throat with the frisbee and they should have stopped there. I was talking to my friend, Katie, when it happened. We were standing in the gym, talking about who knows what, and I move towards the wall a little and told Katie is was because I was worried that I was going to get hit with a frisbee. We move to the side, continue conversation and all of a suddenly something hits me in the face, hard. I was a bit shocked to say the least. I don't think I even had time to react, Katie looked pretty surprised too. As I recall it, she said, "You just got hit by a frisbee!" I get ready to face the offender, because no one runs away like a coward in a church gym after they've hit a girl in the face with sporting equipment. Who should be running towards me with an apology? DFV2. Go figure. Is this karma? Hindsight Jessica has to wonder if all of this would have been avoided if I had just introduced myself, maybe it would have delayed his frisbee playing thus saving my lip.

So reflexively my eyes start watering and I bring my finger up to my throbbing lip. When my finger comes away there is an unexpected little surprise, a red streak...I am bleeding. I didn't actually expect that, though to be honest I don't know what I was trying to tell myself that copper taste in my mouth was. So DFV2 runs off to get some napkins and he grabs about 47 and brings them over. Katie tells me I have some blood on my tooth and I should wipe it off so it doesn't stain and DFV2 says it shouldn't and Katie says, "Are you a dentist?" and I laugh because I feel like the only way she'll let him win that one is if he says, "yes". Then they start talking and I am sent away to the kitchen to get my own ice for my swelling lip. Thanks people. I spent the rest of the evening with a wad of napkins on my mouth. I found two people willing to be seen with me (thanks Brad and Kristin) and sat with them talking. Brad wanted to know my most awkward moment and I was thinking, "Besides talking to you with a wad of tissues pressed against my face?" I finally came up with one that topped his story, but we have agreed that his is most awkward, mine is most embarrassing. But really, I don't know what makes him think he can compete in that department with me. I have at least 1 experience a week.

So far no one at work has mentioned my bruised lip. This could be for three reasons, they either don't notice. They think it is a result of domestic violence and don't want to get in to it. Or three, they are just used to seeing me with bruises that they've stopped caring. Wish it had been from the game rather then from conversation.

I got a dollar, I got a dollar, I got a dollar, hey, hey, hey, hey.*

You like me! You really like me!* Ahem...I've prepared a speech unfolding the old, wrinkled paper that has been folded and unfolded many times I would like to thank the blogger academy as well as my parent's and all of my reader's for this award. Especially Gingerella for giving me this award. That's right folks, I have been given an award. That means I made an impression on someone. It's a dream come true. I will try to hold back the tears.

When I started this blog a little over 2 years ago I started it as a way to keep in touch with my family. A newer, funner version of mass e-mail. As time progressed and Blogger came out with "followers" I realized that what I really wanted was a pinch of blogger fame. Finally, I have some recognition. This award is a little pay-it-forward like. First, anyone who receives this award must first link the person who gave them the award i.e. Gingerella (that name is a link, in case it doesn't show up).

The second thing the recipient must do is choose only 15 bloggers to give this award to. This proved to be no easy decision. So without further adieu here is my list of Beautiful Bloggers. (Click on blog names to be redirected to the blog).

1. Elaina at Yesterday's Happenings

2. Emily at The Reluctant Triathlete

3. Ed at The Weekend Warrior

4. Amber at Peace Be Still

5. Martha at The Older Sister

6. Joanna at The Rowlands

7. Kathryn at Aunt Krashin

8. Britni at You're very talented. I would know. I'm very talented too

9. Gretel at Boys only want girls who have great skills

10. Orin at Orin's House

11. Mur at Nick and Marianne

12. Sarah at Boredom Leads to Blogging

13.Vanessa at Caramel Covered Photographs

14. Katie at Jared and Katie's House

15. Evan at The Orwin's

P.S. sorry if the list seems 'deeply nepotistic'*.

I'm just a little tense. This whole office is not Feng Shui. All the desks are facing evil.*

I miss college. I miss going to class in the morning (after 8 because I never made it to the 8 o'clock classes) and coming home around 2 p.m. to bundle up in a blanket and watch a movie (and possibly scrapbook while I do so). I miss living off of pancakes and macaroni and cheese, Craigo's Pizza, being able to walk to anyone's house, intramural sports, going camping, bonfires at the sand dunes, and even those stupid dances and blind dates. I miss boys coming over and knowing my neighbors, who were all around the same age. I even miss slipping on the ice at the cross walks (especially by Hogi Yogi). Most of all, I miss my friends.

I read Sarah's blog this morning about a friend of her's from college that recently passed away. When you hear things like that it makes you think about things, things from your past. People you know and care about but don't really keep in touch like you should. It makes me grateful that Sarah, Cassie, Tami, and I are all "reuniting" this spring (though I still can't remember the dates...can someone remind me?) I realized that it's been a long time since I've seen these girls. They all have children now and I've never met their children so I know it's at least been that long, at least 4 years I would say since I last saw Tami. Sarah's blog today just made me miss college all the more, I miss being close in proximity to these people, not just these three, but Marianne, Nicki, Andrea, Destin, Sook, Evoni, and I'm sure a plethora of other people I have failed to mention (if you're one of them....I'm sorry).

Don't worry, I'm not one of those delusional people who think I can actually "go back" or "keep the spirit alive". I realize college is over and done with, I don't typically sit here wishing I were still in college, I haven't forgotten how much I hated homework, papers, tests, the biting cold of the Rexburg air that blew at you from all directions. Sometimes I just miss the friends I had, the things we did together, how much easier life was then (though I didn't know it). I'm grateful for them, for the friends and experiences that have shaped me into who I am today, the person who loves life (generally), who is buying a house in 5 days, who is happy with who she is. I could get super cheesy on you and tell you that college wasn't about getting the degree, it was about the people and experiences that molded me into who I am today...but I don't have a license to carry that much cheese around with me. So you get this lame ending to the post.

That's a lotta meat.*

Welcome to Blogageddon. The ultimate post of randomness about my life. Warning: This blog may jump from topic to topic. If you are pregnant, could become pregnant, suffer from seizures, heart condition, diabetes, or urinary incontinence please read on anyway...the side effects aren't all that bad.

Let's talk about life. It isn't even 10 in the a.m. and I think I peaked. This morning I thought, "Today I am going to be productive." It started off well, I got to my desk at 8:29 (that's early, may just be a minute, but it's early). I dropped off mail in the mail room, got my water, returned a phone call and got to work on a self appointed project, got a phone called returned, did some administrative work. At 9:40 I decided my head needed a break from all the numbers I had been working on. ...9:40. I am a weakling. This is my problem though, anytime I am given assignments or think of something that needs to be done I get to work and I get it done quickly. I don't take my time, I don't spread things out, so I cram it all in to an hour and then I have 6.5 hours of nothing to do. I need to slow my roll.

Last night was the second week of class. I still feel like I am in over my head and out of my league. Last night's panic was the new information that I may not even meet the eligibility requirements to take the exam! I am young, in age and profession, and my "status" as a non-exempt employee might be the only thing keeping me from being able to sit for the exam. After this was stated I spent the next 45 minutes trying to get myself to focus on class because in the back of my mind I was thinking, "What's the point? You can't even take the exam." I would have to wait until I was "exempt" status and then wait another two years. I finally got myself to focus, because at least passing the class was something I needed to do so I could be reimbursed by the company. Not that paying attention helps. I had to read the entire first book last week and all the instructor did was read through the book and the power point presentation. I have a lot of trouble focusing when I feel like the instructor hasn't even read over the power point (she kept saying things about certain slides, saying they were one thing, when clearly they were another...I just can't let things like that go). I had to whip out a notebook and write down all the things she was pointing out as "should pay attention to" at least that would narrow the 186 pages down a bit.

I was relieved to discover we only have to read half of the second book this week...but then I looked at where that point is, 140-some pages. So it's not that much less. Dangit. Only 10 more weeks of this, I can do this! Now the problem is, I have read, but I don't remember much. I was really proud of myself for an acronym I made up to remember the seven factors of an external environmental scan. You ready for this? D.E.E.P. S.I.T. (Demographics, employment, education, political, social, international, and technological). I find that it reflects my feelings about my current status in the class (or rather, what it kind of sounds like reflects my feelings) and has surprisingly made this one thing I remember clearly.

It was in the middle of class last night that I realized I don't want to do this stuff for the rest of my life. The first week I compared the class to German class in college, this week I compared it to Psychology. There is a reason. The first day of Psychology the professor said, "Do not try to diagnose yourself"...obviously a problem he had dealt with many times. In class last night we talked about engaged employees. I realized that I was not an engaged employee, rather, quite disengaged and quite bored and unchallenged at work (the instructor should have started class with the same warning, "Don't try to diagnose yourself". I don't think I want to be challenged, I think I want to find a different job, but I don't want to at the same time. So in the middle of class I realized that I have to do something I am deathly afraid of, I am going to send in my "book" to publishers and hope and pray for the best. I mean, I realize that even if they like it I could be waiting another 4 years before I see it published...but I have to try. It's what I actually enjoy doing. I don't want to keep existing as a disengaged employee.

I have seven days until I close on the house. I began packing about a month ago, I don't know if that is weird to people or not, I don't know moving etiquette...when is too soon to pack? I resisted the urge as long as I could, but when I am ready, I am ready. The other day I pulled out some old boxes with things already packed away. I think this is one of the things I like about packing, it gets me to pull out all the stuff I stuck in storage leading to an all expenses paid trip down memory lane. I found a bunch of things from college, maybe I will post pictures. In addition to memory lane is also the glorious moment where with full clarity of thought I realize, "I don't need this!" I have already taken two large boxes to Goodwill and thrown out/shredded other various crap, such as my sign language notebook from high school - it's not that I don't sign anymore, but I never used that notebook, it has sat on a bookshelf or in a box for the last 9 or so years and I have never cracked it open. The first page had actually melded to the notebook!

Last night Realtor Carol called, she had to leave a message because I was in class. The other realtor said the seller wanted to know if I wanted the couch and the kitchen table. I figure why not? I can sell it if I don't want it. I am tempted to ask if they are leaving the window treatments too but does that seem greedy? Anyway, today is the bank and call the realtor back, I need to also check with her if the seller and I can sync our electricity start/stop for the house...that would be nice, I set up the "start" for closing day so that I can stay there that night if I so choose.

...okay, I'll shut-up now. You're welcome.

I just have a lot of feelings.*

The Jennifer Bandit strikes again!!

So here's the dilemma. My name is Jessica. For some reason unknown to me, God decided that in many people's brains there would be a strange crease that leads to people calling the Jessicas of the world Jennifer.

We had this problem in 2008, when one of the claims guys kept calling me Jennifer until another claims guy told him it was Jessica...in reality it took 2-3 months to resolve. Why I just didn't correct the guy is beyond me. He probably wondered the same thing when his coworker corrected him.

In 2009 two separate employees from the same department would randomly call me Jennifer. The good news, they knew my name was Jessica so they quickly apologized right after they said the wrong name. I would just smile and say, "I didn't even notice!" Just to make them feel better.

2010 - we have a new person in our little department. Despite the fact that everyone around me says my name all the time, the name plate on my cubicle that states my name, my e-mail (which he gets to see in his inbox all the time) has my name (WITH a signature at the bottom with, what else? My name), and I think that's it, he has chosen to call me Jennifer. I first realized his blunder when I was helping him with the computer last week. He had to look up the e-mail and it was in the folder "Jennifer". I pretended not to see it.

Yesterday morning was the worst. He came up to my workstation, "Hey Jennifer, can you do blah, blah, blah?" And yes, I heard "blah, blah, blah." Because immediately my mind focused on the 'Hey Jennifer' and how I might go around avoiding an embarrassing moment by saying, "yeah, it's Jessica." Because honestly, I can't focus when I've just directly been called the wrong name...especially Jennifer (because of the history I have with being called that name erroneously all of my life). With the claims guy it didn't matter, I rarely spoke to him (probably why it went on for so long), but this guy is in my department. I have to interact with him on a daily basis. I need to take care of this....but...I prefer to avoid conversations like these. So rather I pretend I don't notice I'm being called the wrong name even though it's all I can think about!

So, I thought I was doing okay yesterday. I thought I had let it go. But each time he e-mailed me asking me for something I got upset. He didn't even say my name in the e-mail, but he had blundered first thing in the morning and for some reason I was subconsciously unwilling to forgive him. Once I realized how irrational I was I got over it.

This morning, I took something to his office, as I am turning to leave he says, "Thanks Jennifer." I halted for a split second, stole a glance at the other woman who was with me but was already in the hallway and didn't hear and then smiled at him and left. Pansy. For a second I almost corrected him. I just feel like he's going to wonder why I didn't do it sooner. How could I let him call me the wrong name for so long? But then, as I was sitting here at my desk thinking about it I started to laugh. Why not just go in and say, "Do you think I'm Jennifer?" but not in a mean way, in fact, it is the most entertaining thing in my day so far. So just laugh about it right? But then I found an e-mail from the beginning of this week where he clearly states my name, Jessica. So now I know he knows my name, but he keeps getting it wrong. I am just one of those people who doesn't correct others.

I am destined to a life plagued by the Jessica/Jennifer conundrum.

On that note: the claims guy who called me Jennifer for months just walked by and said, "Hey Jessica." That just made me laugh.

Baby, it's cold outside*

Dear Snow,

My excitement at seeing what you've been up to all night was quickly squashed as I called the inclement weather hot line and heard the same aggravating message, "There are no changes at this time." I have a piece of advice, try harder. It's not that I don't appreciate the snow, it is like Christmas morning to me. However, try harder. You may have convinced the school systems to shut down and I feel certain even the mail won't be coming today but my boss is from Pennsylvania and no doubt drives an SUV. The fact that it is still snowing and shows no signs of stopping seems to have no affect.

My little snowflakes, you must learn to strike fear in the hearts of corporate America. You have to snow like you've rarely ever snowed here. You have to convince the Yankees that it's a lot of snow. It's the only way to get the office to close. In the meantime, I will venture out to work, unsure of if I will ever be able to safely return home.

Sincerely,

Certain to die in the snow.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dear Boss(Big boss, not my direct boss),

My morale has taken quite a hit, you could at least say we could wear jeans.

Sincerely,

Someone who doesn't much like you right now.

You think you're too cool for school, well I've got a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite...you aren't.*

I started my class last night, the Human Resource class to help me pass the PHR exam. It reminded me a lot of a class I took in college my first semester, Intro to German. Just a head's up, I dropped it in the first week. The class may have said "intro" but everyone in there had taken it all through high school, I had never taken it.
I say this because last night I took my seat in the classroom, talked to a few people, and then class started. As we went around the room people stood, said their name, what they do, and what designation they were going for (PHR or SPHR). As people were talking about their ten plus years experience (okay, really, that was one person, everyone else was in the 20+ years) I grew more nervous. I was the baby. It wasn't just that I only have two and half years experience (not counting my year as a trainer even though I was in the HR department) but I was beginning to wonder if I was doing this all prematurely. Would the instructor get to me, let me ramble and then say, "Are you sure you're supposed to be in this class?" My kidneys began to ache, my heart beat rapidly, my palms were sweaty - and then it was my turn, "Hi, I'm Jessica, um, I'm actually an HR assistant and um, I am here for the PHR." I refused to tell them my amount of experience. I spent the next ten minutes waiting for my kidneys to stop hurting.
After we wasted the first hour we got into the meat of the course...except it was just the instructor reading quickly through the manual. I hate when teachers do that, they do it at church all the time. You read it before, let's talk about the important stuff and if you are talking and I look down at the book and see that you are just reading random sentences that pop out to you I'm going to stop listening. I can't even really follow because you jump all over the page. I know I need to work on that, but why waste the time? My homework is to read the whole first book before Monday (186 pages), why focus in class only to have to read the same thing later? But I did try to focus, I want to do well, I want to get it over in one shot. The exam itself is about $300...I don't want to have to take that thing twice.
The instructor of course, put me at ease when she let me know that the PHR and SPHR seem to take great pride in their failure rating. Phew, I was worried the test would be easy. We wouldn't want me stressing out about it or anything. It certainly didn't help that she told us at the beginning of class that she has never taught before.
A positive thing about having no experience is that many of the 20+ people have tried to take it once or twice already and they miss by a few points and they kept saying how the exam is not real world, there is a difference between real world and what the book says. Hallelujah, I don't know much about real world HR yet, so I should be able to learn this stuff without the distraction of how it's done in the real world.
Wish me luck folks, I have a 41% chance of failing.

You son of a motherless goat!*

15 more days until closing...an counting. I have decided that I want to stay with the red paint that is found on the bottom half of the wall in the kitchen. So I will be outfitting the place with random red things.

As I don't have a decorating eye like my sister Joanna, I am keeping my choices safe for now. I had received two gift cards for my birthday so I used them towards the purchase of a few items for the house.

I wanted something to hold the mail. One of my pet peeves since...forever, is not having a way to sort the mail for different people. So in the end you might miss an important piece of mail because it got lost in an ever growing pile on the kitchen table. I picked out the one I wanted and then found out that it was only available online. So I added it to my cart and then found out it was eligible for free shipping. These kind of deals always get me because the only thing I hate about shopping on the intranet is having to pay for shipping.

So I went on the search for other items I wanted that were also eligible for free shipping. Let me just say that most items I want are not. There is a piece of furniture I am interested in that qualified, but I am holding off on big things until I am in the house and have a better idea how everything will fit. I finally found two things that were on my list. The mixing bowls and the spatulas. My current roommate, Anne, has gotten me hooked on the rubber spatulas. I used to rarely use one and now I can easily use one or two while cooking. She has quite the plethora of them.

No matter how bad things are they can always get worse.*

BLOG BUCKS NOW OPEN FOR A FREE FOR ALL! ANSWER AS MANY AS YOU CAN.

Dear house,

You are only 19 days away. I pray every night that something doesn't go terribly wrong and I worry about you with all of this snow. I hope you are doing well without occupants and I promise we'll be together soon.

Warm wishes,

Anyway, I haven't done this in a while, mostly because I've been a chatty Cathy and haven't run out of stupid things to say. I still haven't but I wanted to give you guys the chance. Here is a Mega Blog Bucks Post

Rules as always, you may answer only two (and that includes choosing to answer the title). Once I feel adequate time has passed I will open up any left over as a free for all, fight it out like fat kids over cake (since I'm a chubby one I can make jokes like that). May the Schwartz be with you.* (Martha)

10 points
1. Don't stand too close to them you'll go into sugar shock. (Joanna)

2. Sometimes we don't do things we want to do so that others won't know we want to do them.

3. What kind of devil bird chirps at night! (Amber)

20 points

1. I'm losing my mind! It's time for an a-whupping. I cursed. (Amber)

2. 'Kiss my butt.'
'yeah, you and what army?'
'that doesn't even make sense.'

3. I think it's safe to say that you know the least about anything then anyone in this room. (Sarie Lou)

Blog Titles Never Claimed
1. You make me feel, what's the phrase, like a fool, kind of sick, special needs, anyway.

2. It's a technical term for a lot of water where it shouldn't be.

You make me feel, what's the phrase, like a fool, kind of sick, special needs, anyway.*

Let's talk about Ukrop's. Many of you who know me, know that much of my youth was spent there. I started working for Ukrop's in April 1999, thought I broke free for a while, went back near the end of college (for holidays and summers) and then right after graduation I was working there again. In the summer of '06 I began my transition into their human resources department as a trainer. In January '07 I was promoted to a full time trainer and received my very own store(s). I trained for seven locations and I really did like the work (mostly I liked my work with Ben, former love of my life who didn't know it, but let's not dwell here).

I left the company in October '07 to come and work where I presently am. By Christmas I was working Saturdays back at my old store...to help them out for the holidays, which turned into a year and I finally stopped working there January '09. Just a few months shy of a decade (just in time too, when I was younger I said, "kill me if I hit 10 years" phew).

I tell you this mostly for those of you who didn't know. Now, for more news that you only know if you live in Virginia, Ukrop's has sold. So those of you who know me and my history with them have probably been wondering my thoughts on this. To be honest I didn't really know until today when one of my coworkers was asking me about it. You see, I am the Ukrop's expert (she says with bitter sarcasm). People just assume I will know all the answers to their Ukrop's-related questions. So today, my coworker asked me if I knew when the transition for Ukrop's to whatever store they sold out to, would be. I couldn't say. I think until that moment I was in denial. Ukrops would never sell, and if they did, I wouldn't care anymore.

But I do care, and I knew more then I thought I did. It was because I recently sent Ben a message on Facebook. I like to reminisce from time to time and happened to do it the other day, in a non "hey I heard Ukrop's is selling" kind of way. Something happened that reminded me of him so I sent him a message. He told me about what was going on, because he is still there in the corporate office. So suddenly I had plenty of information for my coworker and for the first time I got this funny feeling in my stomach. It's akin to anxiety...something I'm used to, I feel certain I suffer from some anxiety disorder or another. I think it has finally hit that Ukrops will be gone. When I'm fifty and driving my kids around town I won't be able to point and say, "That's where I had my first job." rather I'll have to say, "Before that store was this name, it used to be Ukrop's and that's where I had my first job." I imagine my sister, Kathryn, went through something similar when her first job was torn down and turned into a Kroger.

What I fear most is that they really might not keep the cake. Silly, I know, but there are a lot of things this company could come in and change and the cake is one of them. That cake is really good. Something I have learned from people coming in to companies is that they think what they know is best. That includes cakes, catering, pizza, etc....all things that Ukrop's does well. Then of course there is that whole aniexty tied with the fact that a large part of my adolesence is being pulled into some black hole in the universe that is my life. First the ward (church) I grew up in dissolves, now my first place of employment is disappearing. It's bad enough I can barely remember my high school friends, before you know it I'll drive by the old high school and mother nature will have swallowed it up in a sink hole.

Okay...okay, not panicking. Natural order of things. I'm okay.

It's a technical term for a lot of water where it shouldn't be.*

The other day a dear friend, who shall remain nameless, randomly said to me that I was smarter then I let on - or something to that affect. It got me to thinking about what I "let on" about myself. I will admit that I play dumb from time to time, it comes in handy with boys you don't want to date and confrontational conversations that you don't want to face. I am hoping that at least one reader knows what I am talking about and that they do the same. Otherwise, I'm different and well, so be it. Regardless of all of that I immediately took it as an insult. I mean, "let on" implies that I am intentionally coming across as unintelligent. I don't think that I intentionally do it, which makes me wonder how the world perceives me. A quote that I like is, "What other people think of you is none of your business." I have no clue who said this. Since I like this quote I feel I am not really allowed to wonder what other people think of me.

Anyway, seeing as hypocrisy is something I just can't avoid, I e-mailed this friend yesterday to discuss what she had said to me, because I know she didn't mean it to hurt my feelings or to be taken the wrong way. She was just the first person to ever say something like that to me. She wrote back that what she meant was that I was more intelligent then I portray. She also said that in large groups I like to make lots of jokes, but in smaller groups I have deeper conversations. That got me thinking, how many comedians do you think are intelligent? I'm sure that they all are, but if you were asked to think of intelligent people, how many would come to mind right away?

In the end I think I have come to cope with the fact that my "intelligence" has surprised her and probably has surprised many of my friends in the past who just never said anything. I guess that is just something I will have to deal with, as I would prefer to be considered funny over being considered intelligent (and let's throw in rational because let's be honest, playing irrational is so much fun). Suddenly I feel like an ogre and an onion with my many smelly layers that make you cry. You know, not everybody likes onions.*

I wish the real world, would just stop hassling me.*

The only thing worse then having to come to work on a Monday is having to come to work on a Monday with tons of snow on the ground. My roommates all have the day off. Schools are closed, K-12 as well as colleges in the area. My one roommate didn't have to go to work today. I knew I would have to come to work, but I thought maybe we'd get a delay, let the snow melt a little or something. I called the inclement weather hot line more than anyone else this whole year. I called before I went to bed and and twice after I woke up (at 8 o'clock). Nothing, no delay, no, 'wear your casual clothes and keep warm!', nothing. Jerks.

So I had the whole weekend where I didn't have to do anything (maybe that's why this Monday is going to be so hard). I gave Chubbs a bath, I cleaned the bathroom, did some laundry, put away the other laundry (most of it), laid in bed, took a nap at 6:00 p.m. on a Sunday evening (weird). Mostly I worked on my story. I made cookies and watched the first part of the BBC 'Emma' (amongst other movies this weekend). Amber was snowed in at my house all day Saturday and most of Sunday. She had spent the night Friday because we were going to go to the D.C. Temple Saturday, but when we woke up there was a little bit of snow and was supposed to snow all day. I think in all we got a foot, but I'm not good with measurements.

I am still unsure as to whether or not I'll have class tonight. I'm hoping not because there are a lot of things I would like to do this afternoon (go buy dog food and body wash, go see my mom because yesterday was her birthday, etc.) But part of me thinks I should just get to it...it's been four years since I have taken any kind of class - I'm scared, but I just need to get it started.

This weekend was nice and relaxing, today sucks.