Friday, May 3, 2013

What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today.*

Yesterday I finally went to the eye doctor.  Back in the fall I went but ended up with a prescription that was way off.  Needless to say, it was scary driving and I ended up popping the old ones back in.  In January, I got EyeMed to go along with my insurance, so I decided I'd go to some place fancier (i.e. Lens Crafters).

The facility was nice and they had some new tests I haven't seen before.  The color blind test was my favorite, though I think I failed on the last one.  You had to say what numbers you saw in the circles and I went through all of them and said, "the last one is very pretty, but I don't see anything."

They had me take my contacts out for the other tests and the actual exam, which means I was legally blind.  I went back to the examination room and the doctor came in and checked my eyes, he had me look at his right ear while he shined a light into my eye and then I looked at his left ear while he did the same to the other eye.  He asked me when I started to notice a difference in my eyesight.  I explained that my contacts were very old so it had been a while.  He went to his table and started to write stuff down and asked me when I started to notice a difference in my vision, so I guessed and told him a couple of months now.  He asked me what brand of contacts I had been using, I told him what brand I thought but couldn't really remember.  Then he said, "let's take a look at your eyes" and proceeded to shine the light in my eyes and tell me to look at his ears....for a moment I thought maybe the test would be different, but it ended up being the exact same one.  Then he asked me when I started to notice a difference in my vision and asked me what brand of contact I wore. 

I didn't really question why he asked so much because I figured he thought if he kept asking I would give a better answer.

Then he pulled out my contacts to take a look at them and asked how long I have been wearing contacts.  I said, "since I was 16" and he said, "oh, so you're a veteran?" and then he laughed.  I laughed too.  As he was looking closely at my contacts he said, "so  how long have you been wearing contacts?" I thought about it and said, "About 14 years" assuming he just didn't want to do the math. Then he said, "oh, so you're a veteran?" and then laughed the exact same laugh.  He put my contacts into another thing to look at them (I couldn't quite tell what he was doing because I am blind) and he said, "So how long have you been wearing contacts?" So I answered, "14 years" and I'm thinking really?? and he says (you guessed it), "Oh, so you're a veteran" and did the same laugh. Then he showed me what is happening with my eye (how it's shaped), he had me hold a lens up to my right eye so I could look through it and see the pictures he was showing me.  I wondered if he got a good laugh out of that because there I was with a little makeshift monocle.  He showed me how eyes are usually shaped like oranges but my right eye was egg shaped, and he pointed at the word beneath that picture and read it, "astigmatism".  Then he went back over to the table to write something down and said, "How long have you been wearing contacts." I couldn't help it, I laughed.  I think I was going crazy, getting paranoid.  I was wondering if there were cameras in the room that I couldn't see and I was on some TV show and they were waiting for me to crack.  They are thinking, "how polite can this girl really be?"  Was he aware that he was doing this, should I be concerned that he may have Alzheimer's or should I be concerned that this was his way of joking around with people? Was I being tested.  So I answered, "14 years" he said, "Oh, so your a veteran?" and LAUGHED THE EXACT SAME LAUGH.  I figured I could get away with laughing here so I did, this was nuts.  So I agreed and then I kept talking, because I don't know what I would do if he asked me that question again.  Then he asked if he had shown me what was going on with my eyes.  So he gave me the monocle and pulled out the picture and told me how eyes are shaped like oranges but my right eye is egg shaped, point to word and say, "Astigmatism". 

Then he told me to wait a minute while he checked something out and he left.  I don't know how long I was in there, but it didn't take long for me to start to worry that he had forgotten I was there.  I could hear a clock ticking but I couldn't see anything.  I finally grabbed my purse and my phone so I could know what time it was.  It had been at least 5 minutes and I waited another 4 and told myself that I would leave the room and seek help (blindly, I remind you).  Just as I was about to give up that he was coming back for me he came and took me to try on the new contacts. 

And then he left me there and his assistant got me ready to go.  So in truth, I never really saw the doctor, I mean that in the visual sense.  I have no clue what he looks like.

It was the weirdest visit I have ever been on.  I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry and run for the hills. 

After work - I went to the park to work on my talk for church.  I had my headphones in and was thinking about what to say when I noticed a guy was talking to me.  I pulled out the headphones and he said, "Are you writing me a love letter?"

Well, I never...I just laughed and said, "no".  Sorry if that seemed rude but it was honest and I didn't know how else to respond.  I told him I was preparing a talk and we talked a little about what it was for and where I went to church and then he wished me luck and left.

Hands down - yesterday was one of the weirdest days of my life.

4 comments:

Meggan said...

Lol...ummm that made my day. :)

Ashley said...

hahah Oh no! This is exactly why I love your blog so much. I laughed so hard, it's unreal. You NEED to find this eye place online and rate it, or call and talk to the manager at the eye place OR something! And, way to be a missionary at the park! you're the best.

Ashley said...

p.s. I loved this post so much, I pinned it on pinterest. I don't ever do that!

Isaac said...

Now, don't you tell me you don't remember me because I sure as heckfire remember you....Ned... Ryerson. "Needlenose Ned"? "Ned the Head"? C'mon, buddy.

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