Thursday, October 13, 2011

Did you eat paint chips as a kid*

My badge for work is broken. I knew it was coming, I could see the crack and I figured one day it would stop letting me in to the was that day

I went to the main floor to let the Blood Drive people in (yay for blood drives!) and when I tried to enter the lounge on the third floor I couldn't get in. A kind soul was leaving from the other side so he walked over to let me in but then my badge suddenly worked and I got in. We laughed about it and I went to my desk to forget all about it.

Then someone needed a pedometer (don't get me started on the stupid pedramater). They are kept in the super secret HR closet, of which I have to use my badge to enter. I swiped and swiped and swiped but it wouldn't let me enter. So I got the key, got the pedometer and e-mailed Helpdesk to get me a new one (several hours later - I still don't have one).

So - I took my lunch break and ran errands with Pam. We went to Sam's Club, Party City, and Hallmark (not important to the story in the least - but I thought you'd like to know). It was after 3 o'clock when we got back to the office and I still hadn't actually eaten lunch - I was STARVING. I told Pam we needed to use her badge to get in to the building because mine wasn't working, she told me she didn't have her badge - luckily for us there were about 8 of our employees taking a smoke break so we got one of them to let us in. Pam took the elevator but I walked around to the back stairwell so that along the way I could collect the Blood Drive Signs (see - I brought up the blood drive for a reason earlier). I collect all the signs and start huffing it up the stairs. I get up to the third floor, a little warm and out of breath. I grab my badge and swipe it against the card reader only to remember in that moment that my badge no longer works.

You're kidding me!

I thought quickly and remembered that my friend was recently moved to a desk right by the stairwell - so I pulled out my phone and called her (still out of breath - there is no air circulation in these stairwells - I imagine that if no one ever opened a door an individual could suffocate within 24 hours). She let me in - but not before making fun of me - which is expected from friends.

I get to my desk and get ready to dig in to my sandwich because by now it's 3:30, my aneurysm is acting up because of my time in the oxygen deprived stairwell, and my stomach is about to kill and eat me. My boss decides that this is the moment to catch up with me and is standing at my desk talking to me. I was trying my best to be engaged in the conversation but my mind kept picturing my desk drawer - where my sandwich was - and repeating over and over again,;sandwich, sandwich, sandwich.

I finally got to eat...but I still don't have a fully functioning badge, which means the adventure isn't over.

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