'Cause I know the fat guy's gonna have a heart attack if we don't eat again soon.*

I'm sorry I haven't really written anything lately.  I am doing stuff, I'm even taking pictures to post (cause Tami won't read it if there aren't any pictures), but I've just been too tired I guess, or lazy, or something.

So here is a quick update

1.     I'm alive.

2.     Spring is here!  And not a moment too soon! I was really getting the winter blues.  Tonight we are going to try and play Frisbee after several MONTHS of not playing.  We would have done it, the winter wasn't too bad, but the park tore up our field and we couldn't find another with lights so that we could play once the sun set (which happens early in the winter).  The field is rumored to be completed....so, I'm excited.

3.     We had a St. Patty's Day pancake breakfast, followed by soccer (pics to come)

4.     My friend, Jim (who is getting married), had a roasting (I only have a picture of Jim setting fire to his lawn...which seems the most appropriate photo for the occasion anyway).  A roasting, for those who don't know, is when you have a guest of honor and you tell embarrassing stories about them.  Only thing is, Jim doesn't get embarrassed, so we all just shared our crazy adventures we had with him...I'm going to kind of miss him when he moves to Australia.

5.     I got my tires rotated and my oil change, visited a friend who was in an accident during the February 20th "snowstorm", and Vivienne introduced me to the sweetest (pun intended) candy shop in Short Pump.

6.     I saw Hunger Games and realized that I am way too critical - even when I like a movie.

7.     The 10k is this Saturday and I think I can make it halfway before dying...so we'll see how that goes.

8.     I'm excited for General Conference (also this Weekend).

9.     I'm having a jewelry party this weekend, hosted by Mary Carmen...If you'd like to come it's at my house on Saturday night at 7:30.

10.  And last but not least - I gave my mom the first ten pages of my story and my query letter.  She has read over it and we are going to discuss (which actually makes me nervous...p.s. I was more nervous handing over the info to my mom than at the thought of sending it in to a literary agent).  After our discussion I think/hope I'll be ready to send it (depends on what her suggestions are) on Monday.  Gag.

So - that's my life at this point.  I hope to get back in to blogging soon and regale you with all my crazy adventures.  This weekend certainly seems like it would be a good one to jump start me.

I got bangs! my hair is so now!*

(Not really, but the quote seemed to work for the post)

So, I cut my hair.  And by that I mean that I took scissors to my hair when I got out of the shower last night. Don't be frightened, I've been doing this for years.  But I typically do a trim to soften the edges or to get my layers back or something.  Last night I needed a change but nothing too drastic.  So I grabbed a chunk of hair and randomly cut, that then became the standard for how the rest of the hair would be cut.  Then I also tried to give myself some bangs - but I got scared because bangs always look awkward to me at first so I was worried I wouldn't know if it's because they were done right or because I did them wrong (you know?).  So I ended up with half bangs that hang off almost unnoticed to the side. 

Anyway - so this morning I straightened my hair and came in to work.  I honestly didn't think that I cut it enough to notice, mostly because I've just been pulling my hair back lately, but one girl walked by and stopped:
Girl: I like your hair!
Me: Oh, really? Thanks.
Girl: Yes, you know I didn't think I would like your hair cut, but I do.
Me: Huh? You've thought about me cutting my hair?
Girl: Well, yeah, it was getting so long.
Me: Um, ok.  Thanks!

Then Pam came over and she noticed, I didn't think she would because she says she's observant - in fact, she said that she noticed these things the day after I cut and dyed my hair once and I kept thinking, "not THAT observant..." because she didn't even notice.

Then Wanda, having heard enough about my hair cut because she sits behind me, came over and was talking about one thing and then flipped my hair up and over my head.  I don't think you understand, this is not how we act together.  So I laughed and was like, "what are you doing?" and she said kept flipping and said, "it's so much easier to do this now." And I said, "You've never done this, I didn't think we had this kind of relationship."  So lesson learned: haircuts fortify friendships.  I mean...who wouldn't want to touch my hair?

So - I took a picture.  I really don't notice a difference and as you can tell, I feel a little silly taking a picture of myself on my phone at work...But whatever, you needed to see it.

I really want to play a character like the Terminator, you know, because I think the Hispanic people are crying out to see a deadly, destructive, killing machine that they can embrace as their own, you know, that they can relate to... *

Sometimes we just say the wrong things.  Like the time that Wanda told me she wasn't ignoring me, she just wasn't listening.  Or when I told her that she had a brain, she just wasn't using it.  But there are other times when we say the honest thing, but maybe we just shouldn't have said it (by either lying or complete avoidance).

Today I wanted to talk about how girls and guys interact, with the same and opposite sex.

 Exhibit A:

Setting the scene:  I've just done my hair curly (which I am sensitive about because I feel that sometimes, doing your hair curly can go horribly wrong...and puffy). 

Scenario 1: I walk out into the hallway and find my roommate.
Roommate (before I have any time to say anything): Oh my gosh, your hair looks so cute!
Me: Really? You don't think it's too puffy?
Roommate: No! It's adorable! I love it!
Me (BIG smile): Oh ok, thanks!

Scenario 2: Ryan's at the house and I come out to see him.
Me: Does my hair look ok?
Ryan: Yeah, it looks nice.
Me: Really? It's not too puffy?
Ryan (shrugs his shoulders): It's a little puffy but it looks nice.
Me (walking away): I'm going to go put it up.

Exhibit B:

Setting the scene: Ryan and I were watching The Abyss and in the movie there is a black lady who wears overalls, has short hair and has a deeper voice.  I can tell she's a woman...apparently Ryan could not.

Ryan: I can't figure out if that's a man or a woman.
Me: It's a woman, can't you tell by the chest?
Ryan: No, not really, she's wearing overalls.

Wait a few more scenes

Ryan: She's got a fairly deep voice for a woman
Me: I have a deep voice
Ryan: Yeah but I've never had any trouble telling what you are.
Me (deciding to let that one go)

In both exhibits I was looking for something else, I was looking for an answer that a girl-friend might give me.  In exhibit A my roommate never said the word 'puffy', she avoided saying if it was puffy at all because she knows the "puffy" is bad.  It was one positive thing after another until I walked away with complete confidence. In exhibit B I would have liked him to say, "your voice isn't that deep." But one - Ryan doesn't know how insecure I am about my manly voice and two - Ryan hasn't been trained to talk to me this way (nor will he ever be...that's not my point here). 

Ryan's answers weren't wrong, in fact, Ryan's answers were completely honest.  It's like what happened to me last week.  After our basketball game the team and fans (we have hoards of fans of course) were invited over to the Bishop's house for dinner.  We had already eaten and the cookie platters were brought out.  Sister Witt makes wonderful gingersnaps and they were the only type of cookie on the platter that I eat, so I may have been anxious about getting one.  Cam (1 of 2 guys at the table) says, "you'd better get your cookies before Jessica gets to them!"  Every girl at the table seemed to stop in motion and weren't sure where to look.  Some looked awkwardly at the table or their hands, some at Cam, maybe even some at me.  My knee jerk reaction was that Cam had just insulted me and I felt by the atmosphere that the other girls thought the same has happened. 

So, I did what any girl would do...I turned on him.
"Are you calling me fat?" I asked, appalled.
Cam started shaking his head, "No, that's not what I said."
"Oh but that's what I heard!"
Other girls - "Cam I can't believe you just called her fat."
Cam - this is why I don't talk in front of you people.

I told Cam I was just joking, I knew he meant that I just like those types of cookies. Cam's real meaning was that he remembered from last time how much I liked the gingersnaps and that they were my favorite.  And what do we do when a cookie is our favorite? We devour all of them! I'm guessing, because I'm not one, that guys talk to each other more like this.  Very honest (yes, your hair is a little puffy but that's ok) or seemingly clear to themselves (but a little cryptic, even easily turned around by girls).  And girls I can easily turn things around on guys because almost anything said by a guy (in their honest and 'manly' ways) leaves enough open to be turned around. 

It's all about communication...and guys and girls just communicate differently. (This statement does not take into consideration, outliers...The guys who say the right things because they've been trained by sisters or the girls who doesn't assume they've just been called fat because they grew up with all boys).

Do any of you have funny stories of miscommunication in some way, shape or form?

I just want you to feel you're doing well.*

I've been pretty sick this week.  I was thinking that the rest of 2012 wouldn't be so bad after spending a little more than 50% of January sick.  But apparently 2012 is making up for all the years that I haven't been sick.  I went to Ryan's for lunch on Monday and fell asleep.  I was thinking I was tired because of the time change, but this was a bit much.  I had eaten breakfast that morning but felt as though maybe that was a mistake.  I slept at Ryan's until 4 (he had already gone to work) and then called in to work to let them know what happened to me, and went home to sleep some more.  Ryan came over between "shifts".  He came to eat dinner with me, but I made him eat alone, I couldn't do it.  So - while he ate in the kitchen, I hugged my toilet in the bathroom (go ahead - that means more than just hugging it).  I rested and drank liquids (Ryan is a liquid Nazi when I am sick - I finally got him to stop last night when I threatened to throw up on him). 

Anyway - point being, I have been away from the office for a bit.  I came to work this morning and had a few voicemail messages.  One was from Dumbledore himself! He was letting me know that I had been accepted into Hogwarts and that they sent my paperwork by owl. He gave me details about the train leaving and the platform number too...(This is no joke folks, this message went on for two minutes like this). 

I was tickled pink!

I kept trying to figure out who it really was though, because for one - I'm much too old to be attending Hogwarts and two - it seemed that they were never going to let me know and I was beginning to think that Hogwarts was the whole point of the call.  They finally revealed themselves and gave me the real issue for why they were calling.

Later, this same employee stopped by my desk and I told him my owl hadn't come.  He told me I couldn't trust Dumbledore and that he (Dumbledore) was a liar.  I checked to see if he (the employee) had gotten his issue resolved and we talked about that for a minute and then he said, "your owl's not coming." I told him that was the worst news I had heard all day.  He said not to be ashamed, I'm just a muggle, most of us are.  It didn't help to ease the disappointment though.

It's little moments like this that just brighten my day.

Would you want to see Dustin Hoffman save the Alamo?*

Today I took a half day at work.  We can carry over up to five days of PTO (paid time off) at work at the end of the year, but we have to use it by the end of the first quarter (March 31st).  Being sick in January helped me to use most of it and all I had left was a half day.  So I decided to take it today since Ryan didn't have to work.  

Something I had been saying I was going to do since - I don't know when!* was that I was going to get a new couch.  I was sick most of January and then just kept putting it off because nothing seems as unproductive as going to "shop around". Plus - as I explained to Ryan today, I don't like the feeling of being pressured into purchasing something (you know what I'm talking about...cars salesmen style).  But Ryan said we could go in and explain that we were only looking, not buying today. 

The couch that came with the house

 There's not much wrong with this couch - which is why I have been fine putting off the couch shopping.  But it is a recliner couch and so there are these metal bars between the seats and people have hurt themselves.  Oh - and there's the whole part where there's a black hole in the couch....stuff (mostly people actually) get sucked in.

The Black Hole

 The first place that we went was Ashely Furniture (if you live in Richmond then I'm sure you've seen the Ashley Furniture cars driving around - usually in groups of threes).  

We walked in and a very optimistic and cheery man comes over and introduces himself.  His name is Caesar and he shakes hands with Ryan and then me and gets our names.  Caesar asks how he can help us and Ryan says that we are looking at couches, but we aren't interested in buying today.  So Caesar walks us around a little bit and explains how everything works.  He tells us that they aren't going out of business (which is good because of those cars - I always thought it was announcing a going out of business sale...for the last three years).  However, there is a liquidation sale and so the price tags don't matter.  

So he tells us not to pay attention to the price tags and then he turns to Ryan and says, "If your wife likes it..." something like that and then made a joke about how in the end it's my decision and not his.  Which is funny to Ryan and me because it is my decision because we aren't married and this couch is for me. But Caesar didn't know that.  I liked it though, because it meant that all attempts to sell would be aimed towards Ryan - not me.  He can resist because he's not buying a couch and I don't have to resist because no one is putting pressure on me.

It was funny to me though because to Caesar, Ryan was there with the money and I was there for the aesthetics - but the truth was, I was the one looking at the prices and Ryan was letting me know which ones matched my living room.

Caesar made sure we were good to go and then let us wander on our own.  I liked a few couches - but Ryan's concern was whether or not a person could lay down on it.  So in addition to aesthetics and cost, we had to consider length.

Out of the whole store this is the one I liked - surprisingly like the old one if you ask me - at least in color)

Caesar checked on us and asked Ryan if it was more style or price that we were looking for - I looked at Ryan, Ryan looked at me, and finally I told him we were on a budget.  He left us for a few minutes and that's when we snuck out (p.s. I feel horrible about it!)

Then we went to Value City Furniture.  Elaine approached us and Ryan said the same thing.  Looking but not buying today.  She told us where things were and really left us alone, which is exactly how I like it.  We looked over the whole store and came up with these two:

This one was firm and I like the color, but I wasn't 100% about it.

 

The winner in comfort however was this baby.

 

It looks black in this photo but it's a dark brown and it's so soft! Ryan and I both thought that it was really comfortable (part of it could have been because by this point we were really tired).   If I decide to go with a new couch - I think this is the one.

I'm genuinely scared right now!*

On Sunday I admitted to my class (ahem...I teach Family History) that I am a quitter.  It's true, when things get hard I usually bail.  Now, I know this is wrong, but it doesn't stop me from having the urge to give up on things.

 I've been thinking about it, Elementary Education (as a major) was hard! Kudos to all of you who completed that program.  To me, Sociology was the best, most laid back major.  Yes, I suppose at certain times it was difficult, but it was fun to me.  I think it's the same with writing.  Writing is hard, but I love to do it, so I keep doing it.  Over the course of about two years, I wrote three novels.  I have had a few friends read them and make edits (thanks Ryan, Amber, Sandy) and I have been dragging my feet about making said edits (because let's face it - it's sometimes harder than you'd think and it's boring).  I have been slowly making my way towards actually doing something about these books.  So almost a year ago, I started to look at literary agents and started writing my query letter.  I thought that writing three stories was difficult, but the hardest thing I've had to write is that darn query letter!  I finally finished it a few months ago and recently have started to edit (thanks Ryan).  I have given myself a deadline; I want to send in the query letter and sample writing to an agent by April 1st.

Tonight I was working on the edits and looking over the list of agents again, trying to choose the right one from the agency I was looking over.  From there I found an agent’s twitter page and an author who has just been signed by the agent I was considering.  I looked over the author’s blog a bit and then it hit me...I'm going to send in my work to someone.  I'm going to send it in to a complete stranger and there is no reason why she should read my work over any of the other submissions she gets.  I haven’t joined any writing communities, attended any conferences, I’m going into this completely unprepared.  

...I've had this kind of panic attack before.  I was walking around Barnes and Noble once and thought, "Even if I get published, why would my story stand out above hundreds and hundreds of books?"  It's a feeling of insignificance, utter...smallness. Tonight my thoughts were more, "Am I authentic? Fresh?", “Should I stalk agents more, go to where they are speaking and join societies that they are in?” It as though the more the fact that I am going to actually submit this stuff becomes real, so does rejection…and I hate rejection.  

I just need to take a deep breath and calm the heck down!* I have nothing to lose and I’ve gotten to write some novels (and am working on a fourth by the way).  I’m just panicking tonight…

Then you rub some salt in 'cause that makes it taste nice.*

There is a road in Richmond which I absolutely despise.  It's called Parham (pronounced Pair-um).  I consider it the Bermuda triangle of roads. 

If you want to get somewhere quickly, you'd better find an alternate route.  Parham's light system seems to work against healthy traffic flow.  The lights will be green while no one is there and then it's as though they can sense a car or a group of cars (let's be honest, it's always a group of cars on Parham) and then the lights turn red.  Parham is where my road rage rears it's ugly head.  I can leave with what I perceive to be plenty of time and still be late.  Any other route and I would have been on time.

I tell you this because yesterday I needed to get to the courthouse to pick up my notary commission (for work).  I left the office at 4 and though the courthouse is not far - did not make it in time to get up there for the 4:30 closing of the clerk's office.  So this morning I left a little earlier and got on to Parham from Brook road.  From Brook to the Courthouse there are 8 lights - 7 of them were red.  Not all were red at first, I could see them from not too much of a distance and then as we got closer it would turn yellow, then red.  Others were just red when I got there.  None turned green as I approached. And yes...I counted how many lights there were and how many of them were red...I needed evidence that I wasn't just crazy.

Anyway - March is National Nutrition Month...

I bet you didn't know that.  I didn't either until I logged on to my computer at work and saw that I needed to post the monthly wellness posting to the company intraweb - I like to add pictures to these postings because otherwise you just get a white space with a red 'x' in it.  So I googled this image.  I find it kind of funny that nutrition month has a drawing of a dead fish...maybe no one else sees it that way because fish are so "good" for you (not a fish fan here). 

For nutrition month I have decided that I will go ahead and give in to peer pressure and try out a veggie - just one mind you, no need to go overboard.  But some friends are concerned that I don't eat vegetables, so what better time to appease them than nutrition month??  So...since I don't really eat veggies (unless you'll let me count corn and even then - I don't eat that often) what do you recommend I eat this month?