Thursday, March 15, 2012

I really want to play a character like the Terminator, you know, because I think the Hispanic people are crying out to see a deadly, destructive, killing machine that they can embrace as their own, you know, that they can relate to... *

Sometimes we just say the wrong things.  Like the time that Wanda told me she wasn't ignoring me, she just wasn't listening.  Or when I told her that she had a brain, she just wasn't using it.  But there are other times when we say the honest thing, but maybe we just shouldn't have said it (by either lying or complete avoidance).

Today I wanted to talk about how girls and guys interact, with the same and opposite sex.

 Exhibit A:

Setting the scene:  I've just done my hair curly (which I am sensitive about because I feel that sometimes, doing your hair curly can go horribly wrong...and puffy). 

Scenario 1: I walk out into the hallway and find my roommate.
Roommate (before I have any time to say anything): Oh my gosh, your hair looks so cute!
Me: Really? You don't think it's too puffy?
Roommate: No! It's adorable! I love it!
Me (BIG smile): Oh ok, thanks!

Scenario 2: Ryan's at the house and I come out to see him.
Me: Does my hair look ok?
Ryan: Yeah, it looks nice.
Me: Really? It's not too puffy?
Ryan (shrugs his shoulders): It's a little puffy but it looks nice.
Me (walking away): I'm going to go put it up.

Exhibit B:

Setting the scene: Ryan and I were watching The Abyss and in the movie there is a black lady who wears overalls, has short hair and has a deeper voice.  I can tell she's a woman...apparently Ryan could not.

Ryan: I can't figure out if that's a man or a woman.
Me: It's a woman, can't you tell by the chest?
Ryan: No, not really, she's wearing overalls.
Wait a few more scenes
Ryan: She's got a fairly deep voice for a woman
Me: I have a deep voice
Ryan: Yeah but I've never had any trouble telling what you are.
Me (deciding to let that one go)

In both exhibits I was looking for something else, I was looking for an answer that a girl-friend might give me.  In exhibit A my roommate never said the word 'puffy', she avoided saying if it was puffy at all because she knows the "puffy" is bad.  It was one positive thing after another until I walked away with complete confidence. In exhibit B I would have liked him to say, "your voice isn't that deep." But one - Ryan doesn't know how insecure I am about my manly voice and two - Ryan hasn't been trained to talk to me this way (nor will he ever be...that's not my point here). 

Ryan's answers weren't wrong, in fact, Ryan's answers were completely honest.  It's like what happened to me last week.  After our basketball game the team and fans (we have hoards of fans of course) were invited over to the Bishop's house for dinner.  We had already eaten and the cookie platters were brought out.  Sister Witt makes wonderful gingersnaps and they were the only type of cookie on the platter that I eat, so I may have been anxious about getting one.  Cam (1 of 2 guys at the table) says, "you'd better get your cookies before Jessica gets to them!"  Every girl at the table seemed to stop in motion and weren't sure where to look.  Some looked awkwardly at the table or their hands, some at Cam, maybe even some at me.  My knee jerk reaction was that Cam had just insulted me and I felt by the atmosphere that the other girls thought the same has happened. 

So, I did what any girl would do...I turned on him.
"Are you calling me fat?" I asked, appalled.
Cam started shaking his head, "No, that's not what I said."
"Oh but that's what I heard!"
Other girls - "Cam I can't believe you just called her fat."
Cam - this is why I don't talk in front of you people.

I told Cam I was just joking, I knew he meant that I just like those types of cookies. Cam's real meaning was that he remembered from last time how much I liked the gingersnaps and that they were my favorite.  And what do we do when a cookie is our favorite? We devour all of them! I'm guessing, because I'm not one, that guys talk to each other more like this.  Very honest (yes, your hair is a little puffy but that's ok) or seemingly clear to themselves (but a little cryptic, even easily turned around by girls).  And girls I can easily turn things around on guys because almost anything said by a guy (in their honest and 'manly' ways) leaves enough open to be turned around. 

It's all about communication...and guys and girls just communicate differently. (This statement does not take into consideration, outliers...The guys who say the right things because they've been trained by sisters or the girls who doesn't assume they've just been called fat because they grew up with all boys).

Do any of you have funny stories of miscommunication in some way, shape or form?


Lacee said...

I'm so glad you decided to "let that one go" from Ryan. That made me laugh!

Joanna & Ben said...

I am trying to think of anything that I have said in the past that you made me feel bad about...I might need your help with that. Love you girl.

Martha said...

Oh the things Jeff says to me that can be taken the wrong way...I've lost count. It was at least 4 this morning alone.

Ipso Facto said...

"This is why I don't talk in front of you people" is a motto that has served me well for many a year...


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...