Wednesday, November 21, 2012

There's always gonna be another mountain I'm always gonna wanna make it move.*

This year has flown by and I can't believe that tomorrow is Thanksgiving.  Which means that in my personal life, Christmas is allowed to pop up (I don't care if all I heard at the dentist the other day was Christmas music - it was too soon).  Once Christmas comes the end of the year, then my birthday and then the end of life...just kidding - I just couldn't think of what pops up right after my birthday.  I hope it's not death, I'd like to have a few things under my belt before then. 

Point being - it's Thanksgiving tomorrow and I wanted to do a post where I give thanks for some things.  I've been struggling with a lot this year but that doesn't mean that there aren't things to be grateful for.  Last night at Institute we had an awesome lesson on Revelations - one of my peers shared his thoughts from his personal study of Revelations and he asked if the world was growing more evil or more righteous.  Then he said it was both and explained the parable of the wheat and the tares.  So - I'm going to use that parable for 2012 - the bad and the good grow together, the presence of one does not mean the non-existence of the other.

So with that in mind - I want to focus on the tares.  Some things I am grateful for:

The gospel - numero uno - no matter what happens in my life, I know that the safest decision for me is to stick with the gospel.  Despite how I feel, any doubts I have, what I'm letting fall apart in my life, etc. I know that the one I can't afford to ever give up on is the gospel.  It's is my safety net, by sticking to the things I believe, or the things I struggle to believe but want to believe, I find answers, comfort and peace.  I struggle to know what the right thing to do is, but if I hang in there, I find the answer while sitting in church or institute or reading my scriptures or during my prayers.  You can't find a sufficient answer to most of my struggles by doing a Google search.

My family - a close second.  My family is fantastic! Sure, we have our quirks, just as any family, but this year especially - I realized how much I love my family and how grateful I am for them.  They are so supportive, they make me laugh (and cry - but not cause they are mean to me), and they love me no matter what. 

My boys - I've already written a whole post on them, but rest assured, they are some people I am most definitely grateful for and have leaned on them more than they know over the past year.  I honestly don't think I would have made it through the last few months without them.

Amber - I typically don't throw out one individual because then I feel the need to name other individuals and then I'm going to forget someone - it's a given.  But if we're talking about the things/people I am grateful for this year, she's on the list.  Amber knows my very worst and still thinks the best of me (I'm still trying to figure out how that works).  Amber helps to remind me to look at myself the way that Jesus and Heavenly Father see me (and frankly, the way she sees me).  She has given me my metaphorical slap in the face when I am being irrational, she helps to build me up and calls me out on my crap (in a nice way).  She reminds me to do the right thing and then believes whole hearted that I will do it.  I couldn't ask for a better supporter in my corner!

My job - yup - believe it or not, I actually do like my job.  It's changed a lot over the past year and I'm kind of excited about that.  I like the new responsibility, I like feeling as though some of what I do does matter (I still handle the lame stuff that I don't see the point to). 

Traveling - I love that I can travel! From visiting the northeastern states back in May to Arizona in September.  I love that with a little time and saving and some impulse agreements with friends, I get around.  I love Virginia, it is where I lay my head down at night, it is where I have my family and am loved and have a life - but I love getting out there and seeing what else the country has to offer (since I haven't gone global yet). 

Nature - I've been on a lot of hikes this year, I've run a lot of miles outdoors, and I've worked on my yard quite a bit - basically, I've had a lot of opportunity to enjoy the great outdoors.  I love nature, I find it fascinating and an incredible way to communicate with Heavenly Father.  In a way, nature reminds me of the power of God and the insignificance of me.  As a license plate I saw yesterday said, "I'm little" - I truly am little, nature could wipe me out if she wanted, but despite how small I am or how prideful, the Lord still reaches out to me and tries to help me become a better person. 

I'm certain that I am missing a million things - but this will have to do.


Amber Lanae- said...

You made my eyes a lot. I'm really grateful for you too (which you already know)!

Thought I had while reading this post: you called the gospel our 'safety net', but isn't it interesting that we often say that in order to follow Christ we have to throw away our 'safety nets'-but the worldly ones, the ones that won't do us any good. Specifically, I'm talking about our own need to control situations. But if we get it right, then we follow the gospel and we always have a safety net.

I heard this poem the other day...I feel like this is where we both maybe we can go to the ledge together?

"Come to the edge" he said,
"We can't, we are afraid" they said...
"Come to the edge"
"We can't, we will fall"
"Come to the edge"
and they came
and he pushed them
and they flew.
Guillaume Appollinaire

Anonymous said...

I am S Rone's mom-in-law, so we have never met. I feel this is my loss. I would love to be your friend as I love your posts. I have watched your struggles thru this year and can see your maturation into a great woman. Hang in there and know that even total strangers find your blogs of great worth. Sharon Rone

Jessica Donbrosky said...

Thanks Amber and Sharon - both of your comments were great! Sharon - you may have made MY eyes leak a little :)


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