Tuesday, March 25, 2014

I'm gonna kill him! I'm gonna finish him like a cheesecake! *

Being married is great. Just great. You get to spend all this time with your best friend, you wake up to them teasing you about being a blanket hog and a boa constrictor that moves in closer and closer each time they exhale (Note to self: research how boas kill their prey). The best part - Chewy has been living on a steady diet of either eating out (aka burgers) or cottage cheese and trail mix. This means that he loves almost everything I cook (excluding my BBQ - which I didn't like either, and my first try at a Jumba Juice smoothie - which...I wasn't crazy about either). But I think my favorite is that we have a Sunday evening tradition of watching an episode of Doctor Who and the fact that Chewy and I read our scriptures and have morning and night prayer together.

Married life = highly recommended.

GETTING married? I could do without. The wedding and reception went really well. I loved being sealed to Chewy for time and all eternity...and having our pictures taken for two hours wasn't so bad (p.s. Remind me to write a raving review on our photographers). But now I'm back to the real world and in the real world I have a new last name. I'm adding Chewy to my benefits and have had to change my name with work, the DMV and the Social Security Administration (I told Chewy that I think the SSA was backwards...pardon my attitude).

I got to the DMV at opening (8 in the a.m. for those of you wondering) only to be told that I needed to go to the SSA first. So I made my way down there. The SSA has incredible hours that work with any schedule (sarcasm).

Mon - 9-3
Tues - 9-3
Wed - 9-12
Thurs - 9-3
Fri - 9-3

See? Excellent hours.

They are located at the end of Carytown which, from what I can tell, is in between it's dying breath and governmental resuscitation. On the right side of the road stand apartments that look newly remodeled, on the left side dilapidated apartments with cars to match. I found a parking spot on the left side of the road. A man (or possibly a woman - kind of in an in between place there) saw my car, began to approach and then sharked my car - which, as I told Chewy this morning, is my new term for when someone kind of stalks you in a back and forth walk (with optional JAWs theme). I think the person was waiting for a ride, but didn't know what the person would be driving, that's how it felt in the end when they finally walked away.

I walked to the main door of the SSA, only to stand in line outside, in the snow (yes, it was snowing this morning).

The security guard came out and had us form the line to the left of the main door - not sure why it mattered. He got everyone organized and then I got a "Hey, how you doing?" to which I smiled because he didn't have to correct where I was standing - leftovers from public education - an abnormal desire to obey and get it perfect.

After that - it wasn't actually so bad. By the time they opened the doors at 9, there were about 10 or so people behind me. One woman said, "It's got to be 9 now" about every 60 seconds, usually followed by, "They should open the doors early cause it's snowing."

Once inside, we were separated and lined up again, but at least it was warm. I got my ticket/number and took a seat. Once I got to the window things went quickly. I went with my application already completed and my driver's license and old card out and ready. I double checked that I could go to the DMV now and he said, "too bad you weren't here yesterday, we had the DMV van in the parking lot" I had seen the poster and cursed my bad timing, then I thought, "there's a parking lot?!" I got to my car and drive to the closest DMV. Surprisingly, it didn't take long at all, unfortunately, they made me take my photo. The DMV has adopted the rules of Chinese school (you know - Chinese school has just begun, if you show your teeth or tongue you will pay the consequences). I was allowed to smile, just no teeth. I'm proud of my teeth - I like to show them off, but I complied.

After that - they charged me $20 and let me go.

Now I just need to work on changing my name with pretty much everything else.


G Sauce said...

You changed it on Facebook and isn't that what really matters?

Sarah said...

Pitch Perfect! And the name changing is the worst! It was annoying enough for me to consider keeping my maiden name... but that just has it's own bucket of confusion for people!

Heather D. said...

I can't believe you managed SSA and DMV on the same day! Way to go!


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