We're dead, we survived but we're dead!*

This past weekend I ran the Monument Avenue 10k. It's the fourth largest 10k in the country...which is funny, because back in high school I ran it when it was just beginning, and it wasn't that big. I think someone told me 37,000 people this year...but I'm too lazy to fact check, so this whole paragraph could be bogus.


This is my fierce face...yes, I'm smiling, it's a curse. But I'll crush you. I went into the race thinking I would walk most of it, because in "training" I was a weakling. My feet hurt, which caused me to run wrong, which made my shins hurt which made me want to give up and die on the side of the road. So Saturday morning I was not expecting great things. There is something to be said about being surrounded by thousands of other people thinking the same thing..."I'm going to die." Amazingly enough our collaborative weakness strengthens us.

The champion of the group was Kathryn, I knew she had it in her so I channeled my strength to her. She wanted to beat an hour and I wanted her to do it. Knowing full well that I wouldn't be able to keep up. Those little legs sure do pack a power stride...who knew? My time was 1:03 and some change, or 63 minutes. I beat my time from last time by 6 minutes. Oddly enough, Kathryn beat her time by 6 minutes too! She got about 54 minutes I believe. She's my hero, my short, little hero.

I think everyone in the race did a great job. Everyone I knew beat the time they thought they would get. I like these pictures of Kathryn and Amber because I think they represent at least 30,000 people on Saturday.

I was feeling a little energize after the race. We went to breakfast, as is tradition, and then Amber and I went to the store since we were already out and about. We stopped by Lowe's and I picked up some gardening goods. Tulips and gardening gloves. It's amazing, I've never done that before (I'm not much of a gardener). I got home and got to work. We put bird seed in the bird feeder and then I prepared to plant the tulips.

Exhibit A: the weed ridden patch of land right outside of my front porch.

And afterwards, I dug up as much crap as I could...and I found a grub of such size that I nearly vomited. But I made it through okay, and here's the finished product:

I had a few more tulips so I ventured to the backyard:

Isn't she sassy? And yet a little sad.* Add a little tulip magic and walla!

Friday night at Target I picked up two little things for my house. The first one was for Amber, for her birthday, but she said she had enough of them, she just liked it for my house. So...still working on a good gift. I really like this though, so I didn't cry that she didn't want it.

And then I just kind of like this guy, so I bought him. Impulsive? Yes.

After gardening...or maybe it was Friday night, it's all a blur, I put them up on the walls. In the living room as you face the kitchen, a little reminder.

The other one I put up in my room, and I thought I took a picture...but I didn't - not that this post needed to be any longer! Tami...does this satisfy some of your picture needs?

Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays.*

Some time in the night: I had this dream where I am in an office building roughly 3 to 4 stories high and I am looking out over 64 East or 95 South, it's raining and right in the middle of the road there's some massive water. I don't know how it just happens to be this one spot when the rest of the road looks okay, but here is mother nature's ten foot deep swimming pool. I watch in horror as a white truck, followed by a Toyota Camry attempt to cross. The truck seems to do okay for a bit, and then it starts to sink. Somehow I can see all around, like looking at a fish bowl and I see the truck bob up and down for a little and then finally sink to the bottom. The Toyota didn't stand a chance. I have an incredible view of all the roads in the area and they are all flooded in spots.

Then enter the bad guys, ugly dudes, who are after us for some reason (did I not mention my little band of unlikely survivors?) Memory gets spotty from here, but I'm pretty sure one or two of the people I'm with get picked off. Somehow we get away from these goons and head for some house somewhere, making sure to avoid the watery death traps along the way. We get to the house and we run upstairs to pack a few things, we're getting the heck out of dodge. Then one of the ugly goons comes in and I have some kind of rock that I beat into his mouth (I don't know why, seemed logical at the time). I lodge it into his mouth, but keep my hand on it because it's the only thing that can beat him. He starts to breath out as hard as he can and it turns out he has the super human strength of lava breath. I know that the rock is heating up because it is turning molten red, but my hand is not burned. I whack him in the mouth and head a few times, there's blood on the rock and I head for the doors, I tell the people we have to go and we have to go now. But we are missing two more, I don't know where they went. So we get in the car and the driver starts going towards the interstate and drowning is not my exit of choice so I start telling them we have to go another way.

Suddenly we are in a park, inside a tree and the rock I have is actually a key. So I put it up to this hole in the tree trunk and it closes up, and then I can control the tree from inside of it. Like I put my arms in the branches and then I can lean forward and swing the branches around...very effective tool against ugly goons. Then there is this beeping noise and I roll over and grab my cell phone, 6:15 a.m. first alarm. I hit the snooze button and go back to bed. I hear my roommates talking and I check the phone again, 7:40...crap. No more ice cream right before bed.

I get up, get ready as fast as I can. I turn on my computer so I can listen to music while I go and I notice Bryan is online...that's weird, he's across the world and I've never seen him online. I know he's probably e-mailing his family and I also know it's probably against the rules for me to IM him...so I don't, but it puts me in a weird mood. I put on my boots and walk my dog out to his runner. It's raining, the backyard is flooding and I keep thinking of my dream. Chubbers put up quite a fight about being out on the runner (he's got the shed to hang out in too so I didn't just leave him in the rain). I get back to the house and see mud on my black work pants. Curse you mud.

I go to the kitchen to pack my lunch, even though I am running late. I grab the bread from the cabinet, it hits the box of opened spaghetti noodles and they fall all over the counter. I pick them up quickly, grab a pack of crackers and throw the bread back in the cabinet...I'll buy lunch today. I hate Mondays.

Note to reader: pictures and stories from this weekend to follow...I just had to vent.

Prepare to be humiliated on cable television.*

It's Thursday! Beautiful, wonderful, magnificent, magnanimous, perfect, day before Friday, Thursday! Thursday how I love thee!

I think my main motivation day is Thursday. Monday I'm not feeling it, Tuesday I'm recovering from Monday, Wednesday I'm dwelling on the fact that it is only Wednesday, and Friday I've already checked out mentally for the weekend. Thursday is the only day left, the day I have to do all my work because the other days are shot. This morning I came into work and got right to it. We had an interviewee come in, I practiced my smile as I walked down the hallway because I haven't used it much lately. Got the interviews started and then despite having any desire I went into the conference room, closed the door and did three phone screens. I am doing another one this afternoon at some point. Then I am done with phone screens. I think four in one day is just right without pushing me over the edge. Five would blow a fuse and I would be useless for the rest of my life. I can't take that chance.

This Thursday is also good because while it is just as busy as every other day, it is more exciting. Don't get me wrong, my three hour PHR class on Monday was thrilling, absolutely enthralling *cough*. Doing visits for church was great in the respect that I got to catch up with Jim because we barely make contact with anyone anyway. Running with my sister is good for me...but not that much fun anymore. Today I have a basketball game. That's all it takes sometimes, the sweet promise of a basketball game with all it's potential for blood, bruises and fading moments of glory. I have a lot of pent up energy so I hope that the other team is prepared for the Jessinator! Yeah...I just gave myself a macho nickname like one of those guys who lifts weights and then checks out his progress in front of the mirror. Triceptasaurus Rex and Biceptatops are coming to crush you! Argh! ...or Rawr! Snarl? {Enter thunderous dinosaur sound here}

...um...signing off now.

Mind his fontanel.*

Warning: I wrote this blog yesterday, but wanted to add pictures and I'm too lazy to make it look like I just wrote it. Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMBER!!!

Happy Monday folks!

I found out officially, without a shadow of a doubt, that I cannot sit for the PHR exam. I have to be honest here, I am a little more then relieved. Granted, finding motivation to do the reading for the class is going to be difficult, but I have to keep going to the class if I want my money back...and I want my money back.

This weekend was pretty fun. I needed a fun a weekend, I needed some stress relief. Saturday morning started out with a run with my sister. I like running and yet at the same time I despise it. How is that possible? I think I like the feeling of accomplishing running, of being done with it. 'Way to go, you ran a few miles today and now you are sore and sweaty.' The actual activity of running makes my lungs feel like I swallowed gasoline and set them on fire...okay, okay, they only feel that way if it's been a while, or it's cold, or there are rough hills...

From there I ran one errand. That's the sweetest part about this weekend, I ran one errand the whole weekend. I went to the phone store with my dad and sister and put my dad on my family plan. Then that was it. No more errands. I could get used to that.

Elaina and her friend Bill and I went to lunch at the Galaxy Diner. Galaxy/Redneck Diner. I doubt the "Cardiac Arrest Burger" was named because it seemed like food you would eat from another planet. The place is a like a more popular Waffle House if you ask me, and I did fear a little for my life. The waiter seemed to have forgotten us for a long time and someone else's waiter took our food. But the food was good and the company was too, we shared embarrassing stories. Well, Elaina shared other people's embarrassing stories, but they were good ones.

White board at the Galaxy Diner

Then we went and got Brianna and Heidi and went on a picture scavenger hunt. The best part was when we finally got there, we got out of the car and Elaina says, "Yeah, I don't really have a plan." So instead we toured the Canal walk and pretended we were tourists in Venice. Downtown there is a pipe that goes over the river and on top of that pipe there is a walkway. I don't know the purpose, but we saw it, so we walked it. It goes on and on and then just stops in the river. Very exciting.

The sign before walking on the pipe, and pictured below is Elaina's reenactment.

Bird's Eye view of the pipe.

Elaina and me in Venice!


Saturday night we went to the adult session of Stake Conference. I was pretty beat by this point because I had only actually slept about 2-2.5 hours Friday night, I had gone running, and I had been walking or driving the better half of my day. But it was good, and worth going to, even if it's like a 40 minute drive. (Speaking of which, I drove 200 miles from Friday at lunch when I filled up to Sunday night when I drove home from my parent's house...ouch).

Sunday we had more Stake Conference, but the plus is that it starts at 10 and ends at noon, or more 11:40 which was weird. Church is normally 1-4, so this was exciting. I went to my parent's house and talked to my cousins for a bit and then we got a game of boggle going, I love boggle and it's not just because I'm good at it...or maybe it is because I can't actually think of why else I love it.

While we were playing my nephew, Jacob comes into the room. I get him to come over and give me a hug and noticing he is the only one in his little family unit that has entered the house, I jokingly ask him if he walked and he said, "Um...yeah" and nods his head and walks off. Finally his family came in.


Tommy cracks me up too. My mom made cake on Sunday and it had half chocolate and half white icing. Tommy told his mom, Joanna, that he wanted white and Jo confirmed and he said, "Yeah, I like the white stuff." So Joanna started to get a white piece and he got all upset and said, "I want the brown." Joanna said, "You said you wanted white." His response, "Because I want the brown." This isn't unusual for him, he does it all the time, but it cracks me up.

And...I held Ava. I rarely hold newborns and considering that she is like a squeaky toy whenever I move I get nervous holding her. I don't want to cause damage or anything. I think yesterday was the first time that she actually saw me, she's always been asleep before. I think she likes me. I mean, how could she not?

Crazy Baby!!!

I just have a lot of feelings.*

The sun is out! I already feel better then yesterday! Sorry to everyone for my moodiness lately. Hopefully we are over it as Spring is here!

I was watching 30 Rock last night when it suddenly hit me that I am Liz Lemon.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.* The episodes are short, so I watched more then one last night. In one episode her friend takes her out to a bar or club so she can meet people. A guy comes up and asks if the seat next to her is taken and she goes off on him about how she shouldn't have to move her coat, there are plenty of other seats. Her friend says, "He wanted to buy you a drink." and her response is, "I already have a drink, do you think he would buy me cheese sticks?" or something like that. It just seemed to be, well, me.

She's the buddy with the guys, she doesn't eat like a grown up does, and she doesn't get out much. Then there was an episode where she is dating this guy and she is talking about all the things she doesn't do. As she was rambling on I thought, "I don't do a lot of things either." I just felt suddenly that I relate to her.

In other news...a week and a half until the 10k. Am I ready? Heck no. Kathryn and I are going running after work - as if I needed anymore evidence showing how far from ready I am. I have an event filled weekend coming up (mostly due to my awesome roommate, Elaina, my ambassador of fun). There's a picture scavenger hunt and a picnic at the park and maybe a movie at the Byrd (though I really wasn't trying to invite myself to that one, I just mentioned I hadn't seen the Blind Side though I think it is Sherlock Holmes playing Saturday night for the Organ man (the guy who...plays the organ...why does it seem so obvious now?) The Organ guy is raised up on a platform that comes out of the ground and he plays before the last movie on Saturday night. If you look off to the left at the piano up there, it starts playing on its own. It's pretty cool.

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to it so I hope that it all actually works out. Mostly, I'm hoping the rain keeps it's ugly face away from my weekend so I can go on a picnic and picture scavenger hunt, oh and go to Hollywood Cemetery because I love that place (I'm not as creepy as I sound).

I'll never get used to the fact that most of the time it looks like you're doing nothing.*

I got some bad news yesterday. I found out that I do not meet the requirements to sit for the PHR exam. So...here I am in a class preparing me to take the exam and it doesn't look as though I'll be taking it. I'll keep going to the class of course because I have to "pass" the class to get reimbursed and I'm not one for throwing money down the drain (not that much at least). I am really sad though because as I sat in class last night I realized that I know this stuff better then I thought. It doesn't help that the three ladies I sit with are barely keeping up with the reading and keep telling me how smart I am because I noticed that some theories apply both to recruiting as performance management. That's not smart, for me that's realizing that that the same music played in Mona Lisa Smile is also played in Nicholas Nickleby and that Juliet Stevenson just so happens to be in both. Still, I had a glimmer of hope for the first time that maybe I could pass this exam. Then I get home and find I have an e-mail saying I can't sit for it. I shouldn't be sad that I can't take a test...who would be sad about that? What I am sad about it that I won't be able to try, I won't be able to attempt to get this designation. I will take the class, wait until I have the two years exempt experience and forget everything I learned. Thanks.

Needless to say it's put me in a sadden state this morning. I am sitting at work and find no desire to do anything. I need to kick myself in the butt and get to work. I have ten phone screens I have to do. I have discovered in a short amount of time that I hate phone screens. Somehow they pulled me out of my funk on Friday, despite my dislike for the phone. But yesterday I did one and I don't know if she just rubbed me the wrong way and wasn't qualified for the position, or if I was in yet another sour mood (as the rains came down...again) and just wasn't impressed. But that was one phone screen, in one day. Now I have ten more I have to do. Were the four not enough? Can't you call just one of them and set up an interview? Or do I have to take up my life conducting more phone screens then necessary and then they never go anywhere...cause that's what happened the last position I did phone screens for. I found a candidate I liked, he knew what he was talking about, seemed like a good fit, and no one higher up ever called him for an interview. Didn't even call him to conduct another phone screen.

What's the point of what I am doing!?

I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.*

It's Friday.

The very thought should make me happy, but I am in a funk. I feel like I have a muffin top this morning, but not just any muffin top - a super massive one, way too much dough in the tin. I also feel like I smell. I have always had a sensitivity to smell (mostly my own) and today it's just bad. I need to put the 'super sniffer' away.

I hate being in a bad mood, but I feel like I have been in one all week! It's frustrating and...well...it puts me in even more of a bad mood. It's a vicious cycle that seems impossible to break free of.

I can't figure out what it is, or how it started and of course, once I am in one everything else seems to go wrong. It's Murphy's Law. Work sucks, people disappoint me (not all people), someone finds fleas at the old house, I wake up at 1 a.m. with a headache, I am working on Saturday (extra job, not my regular job), I have to interact with the CEO more then usual and the whole situation makes me uncomfortable, I remember to pack my lunch but forget it on the counter, people drive 20 miles under the speed limit because it's drizzling outside, people won't stop bothering me.

I want warm weather, a good book, and a hammock. Oh, and a private island where I am the only person around. I think I need a vacation.

So it begins*

Training has begun for the 10k. It's funny, I haven't been running in a while but when my feet hit the pavement last week it felt right. Yesterday morning and this morning weren't bad either. However, this morning I had a vision: It was the day of the race, we are two miles in and I can see Kathryn fading in the distance and I'm thinking, "This seemed do-able three weeks ago." ...or maybe this was a memory from last year's race. Race day always seems harder then any training day. I think the thousands upon thousands of people running around me mess me up. I need an open stretch of road so I can set my own pace and focus on immovable objects to run towards...I don't need anyone slowing me down, causing me to move to the right or left when there is an available space to move, or to have people passing me by - leaving me to feel like I am going too slow.

Anyway, let's move on to life now.

Highlights from work today:

First thing this morning we sat in front of the window and admired the rainbow.

It's there, over to the left...look closely. It looked cooler in real life.

Later this morning...Conversation between Wanda and me:

Me: Blah, Blah, Blah (something important I'm sure)

Wanda: I'm not ignoring you, I just stopped listening.

Crickets

Me: Isn't that the very definition of ignoring?

Wanda: Shut-up, you know what I meant.

Highlights from last night

Chubbers found out we have a cat living in the house. He doesn't get out much, or interact much with smaller animals (or any) and I don't know if he wanted to play or kill, but Amber said I could let him into her room because she felt it was time for Sassy and Chubbs to meet. I didn't feel comfortable with the idea but she assured me that all was well. Sassy ran for under the bed, and despite seeing this Chubbs felt the need to sniff her out. He got distracted by a toy mouse and the bowl of cat food, but soon he found the portal to Sassy's hiding place. Amber felt certain he couldn't fit so we let him sniff around, but suddenly it was as though he was being pulled through a black hole!! I swear his body just disappeared and all I could see and grab hold of were his hind legs. I screamed - which I want to say is unusual for me, but I am beginning to wonder lately. I don't know if I screamed because he quickly began to disappear, or if it was because I feared for Sassy life. I know now, that I am clear minded, that I would have hated if anything happened to Sassy, especially at the paws of my pup. I dragged him out of the room but the rest of the night he kept trying to find a way back in there.

Highlights from my trip to The Wal-Mart

Yes, that's a dog in the driver's seat. Hope he has his license.

As I was leaving The Wal-Mart I had a brief encounter with a man sitting in a car near mine.

Car man: Are you a nurse?

Me: (Worried he might be hurt and I might have to help) No, sorry.

Car man: Well, you look like one.

Me: Well my mom's one.

Car man: Really?

Me: Yeah.

Car man: Well you look like one. I mean, you look quality.

Me: Thanks! You have a good night!

Car man: You too.

I told my roommate this story and she said that I was hit on at The Wal-Mart...seriously? "Are you a nurse?" is a pick up line? If it is then I think I have proven once again that pick-up lines have no effect on me. Maybe it's my super human power, to be completely oblivious to this stuff.

I also made a friend in the parking lot, an old man who couldn't find his car (and neither could I) we found our cars at the same time. No one ever talks to me at the Short Pump or Parham Wal-marts...who cares if this one is ghetto, they are a lot nicer then the West End! Shutting up now.

'He's has myfather's eyes.' 'take those out of his mouth.'*

She is here! Ava is here!

This beats talking to Joanna's stomach. That was getting old.

She's got hair!



They wanted a picture just the two of them but I couldn't stand for that. Plus, someone had to block out Ben in the background.

She's so stinking cute!

I can't park at the hospital! I'm just saying.

I'm a Raptor, Doin' what I can, gonna eat everything 'til the appearance of man. Yo baby I'm livin' below the soil I'll be back but i'm comin' as oil*

I was driving the other day and my triceps hurt from helping to move all the furniture (I don't even want to talk about how this means I may have carried the furniture wrong because my biceps should hurt instead. In order for them to hurt they would have to exist). Anyway, not the point, the point was that as I was driving along I thought, "My triceps hurt...huh...tricepatops" Then I thought how funny it would be to name your muscles and other parts of your body like Dinosaurs. No one messes with dinosaurs (except other dinosaurs and paleontologists). With that in mind - here is my list.


1. Tricepatops OR Triceposaurus Rex (sounds more fierce)

2. Pectorsaurus

3. Biceptosaurus (or Biceptatops)

4. Gluteus Maxososphondylus

5. Clavadactyl

6. Sternumsaurus

7. Torsoraptor

I really have no purpose in that, but it was fun.

We finally got Internet at the house yesterday. While the Comcast guy was there I tried to keep myself busy because that's an awkward situation. This guy is in your house for about an hour and you barely speak to him. So I took the time to read for class and open my mail. Only problem, my mail decided to slice my finger open. At first I thought I just had a little cut so I washed my hands and thought that would be the end of it, when I saw more blood I washed it again and noticed a cut right by my nail bed. This was like the old faithful of papercuts. I went through three paper towels until I finally found a band-aid in Amber's room. Before that I wondered if I should tell the Comcast guy, I mean, he was the closest person and who knows, maybe he would have a band aid...or at least I could explain the situation right before passing out from a loss of blood. But all's well that ends well, got a band-aid, stopped the bleeding and went on with my life.

I went running this morning at 6:30 with my roommates....running. I think I am a natural born 'short distance at a long distance pace' runner. I haven't run in a long time, but we got outside and I was ready to go, I was way too energized this morning, especially considering that I am not a morning person. I am happy to report that after my shower I returned to my regular "cranky because I'm awake" attitude. We'll see how long this last, but I am hoping it will last at least through the 10k, need to practice some because I can't stand to walk it with all those people watching. I'll keep you informed.

There's no place for you here in the future!*

I've been gone a while. Have no fear, I didn't die. I spent all weekend moving into the new house. I still love it, even if the water smells like sulfur.

Life has been pretty busy. I just had my fourth class last night of the PHR course...boring. But I like the second module better then the 1st. Probably because the second has to do with staffing, recruiting, job descriptions, etc. Stuff I actually have experience with.

Last week we had 8 people leave the company, talk about a busy time for HR! People kept walking by and asking if I was busy, even though they knew I was. I couldn't decide what kind of emotion should react to that. Should I laugh? Get angry? What? I mean, in the words of my old roommate, the Dragon, "what's your purpose?" Instead I ended up just saying, "yup," with a smile. Terminating people seems to have become one of my daily activities. We knew we'd have the eight terms that week, it was just a matter of who. Some were expected, others were surprises, and one I was in denial about. I still am, even though she is gone. With that I have some added responsibility (in the interim) which has made work life even busier. Scheduling travel and conference rooms, overnight packages, etc. Nothing too major, but it's still there.

Basketball season has technically ended, we are now into the tournament and our team is ranked #1...this is a huge improvement from last year. Last year I think we teetered on last place and many of the teams probably wondered why we even bothered playing. We had good players, we just didn't work well together. This year is much better. Obviously, we rank number 1. We've only had one loss, but even though we lost that was one of the funnest games.

Bryan has been out on the mission for 8 months now. It's funny, the first 6 months go by really slowly and then all of a sudden two months have passed. I can't believe that it is already March! Didn't we just start this year? I am still revving up to begin my New Year's Resolutions...now it looks as though I am behind. Dangit.

This weekend is Alice in Wonderland on Friday! I am so excited.

Then Saturday I plan to make some improvements around the house, including fixing the bathroom mirror and power washing the deck...the deck depends on the weather of course. I am excited for it to be Friday already.