Tuesday, April 13, 2010

You've got numb tongue?*

Today's adventure takes us to the dentist.

First off, I forgot about the dentist. I didn't write it in my planner six months ago when I made the appointment because six months ago I didn't have any 2010 material in my planners. I didn't remember that they called last week to reschedule my appointment (even though I tried to call back) and this morning I don't know if I forgot, or if somehow I thought I would get out of it because I didn't plan on going today. I even had lunch plans with the former boss lady. I called the dentist this morning telling them it was perfectly alright if they needed to reschedule me. But my reschedule was for half an hour earlier...not for a different day. So I blocked off the time on my calendar, texted F.B.L. to let her know I needed to reschedule and I went to the dentist.

I went to the dentist knowing full well I needed work done. I chipped a tooth...some time ago, I can't be expected to remember these insignificant details. The worst part is...when I went in back in October I had a chipped tooth, lower left. This time, it was upper left, but a chipped tooth all the same. The culprit you may ask?

These guys:

The best part is that my dentist said, "Those aren't for chewing." and I said, "I know, but it can't be done." Then he said, "You're probably too young to remember these commercials, but..." and he described the Tootsie Roll Pop "How many licks does it take" commericial. Um, yes, I remember those commercials, but I am flattered that you think I am too young to.

I have since given up lifesavers and for that matter, all hard candy. It's not worth the expense should something happen to your teeth. Anyway, my benevolent dentist went ahead and took care of that for me. He was in a rather good mood too, so I don't know why I was so scared to tell him. He numbed up my mouth rather quickly and got to work. Then the hygienist polished my teeth. She had the suction thing and the water thing (technical terms there) and I don't swallow that crap - so she said, "Okay you can close your mouth." So I did, but it was a bit of a struggle, it was weird, I've never felt like my mouth was so full of water without feeling it in there. I got my mouth closed and the suction thing did it's job. She went back to work and then we repeated the process. However, this time as I attempted to close my lips around the suction tool water squirted out of my mouth like a fountain. We were both surprised, but I think being the one with cold water hitting my face and shoulder and going down my shirt I was in the end, the most surprised...and embarrassed. I told her it must be the numb tongue because I've never had that happen to me before. Never.

It's a week of firsts for me (I haven't mentioned the first from Sunday, but I think I will keep it that way).

Anyway, so I still can't feel half my tongue and talking is as uncomfortable as it is when your ears are clogged and you think you're yelling. Except I feel like people might think I went drinking at lunch, which the paranoia makes me speak softer. I haven't eaten because who eats before the dentist...and who eats right after the dentist? I have some crackers and I'm thinking of smashing them up and sprinkling the cracker dust into my mouth. But somehow I feel like that won't do anything for the hunger pains. Best to maintain as much dignity as the week will allow.


G Sauce said...

Sorry but the whole squirting out of the mouth thing was funny!

You need to go get a smoothie or something that you can just drink.

Sarah said...

the dentist is such an awkward experience. I don't know why people sign on for that job!

Sarah said...

my first one was Tiara Au Latte since they are coffee cups. i had one called A Fungus Amungus because it looks like little mushrooms on a hill. and another was called Sproing because it looks like curly springs and little flowers like spring the season. my losing chair was called Chomp and it was cupcake shaped with a bite taken out of it :)

Sarah said...

Yeah I agree, smoothie smoothie smoothie


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