I'll be monitoring your frequencies.*

Yesterday I decided to take a walk around my neighborhood, as I turned the corner and began to make my way from one side of the road to the next I failed to check behind me. There had been a car coming down the road and they were able to stop, however, before they could they may or may not (but may) have bumped into me. I now have a cast up to my knee, a pretty nasty looking wound hiding under a bandage on my right arm and the doctor's had my roommates keep me under observation all night due to the concussion. The good news is the driver was pretty cute and single and whether for insurance purposes or a date, I snagged a phone number. Go me.

There is only one downside to this story (aside from the obvious physical pain)...it's that you should probably take a look at your calendar. What day is it? That's right, it's April Fool's Day. Sorry folks, it's lame and it's my only prank because to be honest I'm not very good with the pranks.

So...let's have a rundown of pranks pulled on me.

I think the last, successful and memorable prank pulled on me would be the April Fool's of....2005? I think. I went to Washington State for Spring Break. We met up with Tami who right away started to take us around on her errands (Tami's a very errand based individual, she likes to be on the go (at least did, I don't know now). As we were driving she kept telling us about her boyfriend and how she thought he might be the one. Being the jerk of a friend I am (and I am a jerk - that's a different post) I was like, "Are you sure? I mean that's what you said about Ben" the last boyfriend I heard about, the year before. Kick myself, and yet, not because in the end this was all an elaborate ploy.

The whole day is jammed packed, it doesn't matter that we just drove from Idaho and am tired. We met the guy, whose name I can't remember and he proceeded to make us think that he was a good fit for our dear friend. We hung out with her whole group and at one point "the boyfriend" got us alone and asked the two of us (there were two of us who came) to help him propose to Tami. We were excited to say the least and took a million pictures and I believe even a video. We went to the after party at a friend's house and all of her friends were in on it and talking about how excited they were and blah, blah. Tami finally shows up with the guy and all I could think was, "Poor Russell" and "That ring looks like it's from Wal-Mart"...but having been the jerk of the friend at the beginning of the day I kept that to myself. I finally got myself okay with the idea of her being engaged when she stood up in the room and apologized to Kristin and me...for what? Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. It's was April 1st, that little...

The worst part, she wasn't even dating the guy, I thought at least they were dating. But no, she had fooled me even with that.

There are probably a lot of details I am missing, but my mind is scattered and that was a long time ago. But there you have it, the most elaborate joke ever played on me. It's the mother of all April Fool's jokes and I have been trying to plot revenge ever since...

In other news. The other day I got an invoice from the people who shred our paperwork (yes, we have people who shred our paperwork) and on the second page it read this (just like this):

Certificate of Destruction

I liked that. I am going to start using this...I am a threatening and destructive individual. See, I have my Certificate of Destruction to prove it.