Thursday, August 18, 2011

You're not affiliated with me!*

I have to share something that made me laugh. I got an e-mail from a man a work asking that I remove any and all evidence of his birthday from "public record" (basically, I make it so that it won't show up on the intranet). Anyway, he said he just hates birthdays and that he has never really celebrated or acknowledged one in about 27 years. Then he said, "Maybe I'm a closeted Mormon..."

This made me laugh - I don't know if you've guessed it, but I'm a Mormon and we do celebrate birthdays! Okay, I may not really do much for my own, but there is some short of celebration, especially involving cake. Then I chuckled a little more, what are the odds that he would make a Mormon joke to the only Mormon at work?

I feel like letting him know I've done the best I can with removing the proof, but that he should still expect a discrete birthday card from the CEO...and oh, by the way, Mormons celebrate birthday and holidays, you must be thinking of Jehovah Witnesses.

Let me debunk some myths that have come up over my short life span:

  1. Mormons celebrate birthdays

  2. We believe in Jesus and we LOVE Christmas (someone thought we didn't celebrate Christmas - I would not be a Mormon if we didn't - jk...kinda).

  3. We celebrate ALL holidays - even that heathen one Halloween (which happens to be my favorite - less than 80 days!)

  4. Mormons eat chocolate! It's just me and a few others who don't.

  5. I have only one mom, biologically this is all that is possible; but in case you meant how many wives does my dad have? Still only one.

  6. We use electricity (you're thinking of the Amish - mmm....Amish Friendship Bread - does anyone have that recipe?)

  7. As you can tell by my wardrobe, we wear more than just all black all the time (thank you fourth grade teacher for that new one).

  8. We are not affiliated with Dorothy from Wizard of Oz (

  9. We are allowed to dance...can we dance is another story. Mostly, no, but I think for a bunch of sober people we do alright for ourselves.

That's all I have, I really wanted to make it a nice clean '10' but I just can't. Have you heard any crazy ones (this is applicable to Mormons and Non-Mormons)? It can't be that Mormons are the only ones whose religion gets mixed up with others, so if you aren't Mormon have you ever heard any crazy ones about your own religion? I curious to read the feedback.

And for some more fun...

The Colbert Report Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Yahweh or No Way? - Mormons & God's Poll Numbers

Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog Video Archive


G Sauce said...

That video is funny!

Anonymous said...

Incredi-boy! (The Incredibles)

Amber Lanae- said...

I totally showed you that video!!! =)

We also don't have horns or tails. Yes some naive girl asked me this when I started college.

Martha said...

Dancing, yes, I have had that one posed to me. Usually after I have danced my own jig.

I think you have covered all the unusual confusion that I have heard.

Martha said...


Steve Martin is not Mormon and we can drink Coke and Pepsi, but most don't.

J, K & L said...

i saw the colbert thingie the other day & died laughing. (my parents would have had a heart attack.)

p.s. i got the dancing thing in high school all the time. i think people confused us with jw' least, i had a friend who was jw & didn't dance...unsure.

Marissa said...

Someone once asked me if we didn't drink Coke because the church really had massive amounts of stock in PepsiCo.

And this weekend I got a lot of criticism that we worshiped the devil... We, in fact, do not.

Meggan said...

HAHAHAHA! I stole this form you and will use it later:) You crack me up! That is about all the ones I can think of also. That I can remember anyway:)

Anonymous said...

I really liked the article, and the very cool blog


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