Friday, April 27, 2012

We're going to need a bigger boat.*

Today has been an interesting day.  I don't think I've laughed this much at work in a long time.

It started with my coworker talking to me about a table that is outside of my workstation.  We switched tables, so this one is shorter and looks nicer, but as I mentioned to my coworker, we can still put a box out when forms are due.  Somehow, she got me going on how people never notice the box!  Last time it really frustrated me because they would walk right past the box or they would even be looking at the box and question where it was...or if it was the right one (it was labeled thank you).  Anyway - I'd better stop before I go off on the box again. 

So I was telling my coworker what I would do the next time we had to put the box many options of things I would do.  I remembered in that moment that I have a gun in my desk drawer and decided that I would use it if anyone asked me about the darn box.  So I opened up my drawer of "essential items every girl should have at work" and pulled out my gun.  Then I tested it to see how loud it was and how far it would shoot.  People should beware this year.  As I was placing it back in the drawer I took note of my other items (pictured below):
As you know, it's important to have a spork and chopsticks at work...because you never know when the occasion to use either might arise.  I think it's safe to say that I get the same warm fuzzy feeling looking at a spork that I do when I see a cute penguin. (p.s. in case you are still thinking I'm a homicidal maniac with a gun at work...that is the gun pictured. It's not loud and doesn't shoot far, and it's green and red because it was a stocking stuffer at Christmas).

From there I moved on to other things on my to-do list at work.  The other day, someone brought to my attention that one of the workstations near mine had had soda or something spilled on it, but no one knew when it happened.  So today I took a can of carpet cleaner (that I have had for two years but have never used) and a sponge and got to work. 
Cleaning workstations is not part of my job description and it's not something that happens often at work, so of course, when I began I immediately had a small group gathered around to watch me clean and to make smart remarks.  They egged me on until I made a smiley face with the damp sponge, then they tried to guess what they really saw.  Jesus, an angry face, bozo the clown, and maniac were all things guessed.  The worst part - once the workstation was damp I could no longer see the stains, so I have to go back later to get the spots I missed.  Anyway - it ended up being a lot of fun.

The final thing (I think, but the day is only half over).  I'm in a water race with my coworker.  She never drinks her water (or anything) during work.  So I've been telling her that if she doesn't drink water her brain juices will begin to lower and that causes headaches, dizziness, confusion, etc. (who knows - it could).  So today she told me she was going to drink a whole 16 oz bottle of water.  Then she stated that she would drink two!  Being the competitive person I am, I started to drink my water to match her ounces (Note: I usually drink 48 ounces at work).  We went to refill our water bottles and she was feeling brave (and a little competitive herself) and said she would drink half of her bottle (8 oz) by noon...the current time had been 11:40, so she sat down and drank it...and I  being an idiot, drank mine too.  Then she finished the bottle off, so I drank more of my water (even as I type I really have to use the little girl's room).  Then she announced that by 5 o'clock she was going to drink 58.7 ounces of water!  So I said I would do the same!  I've been keeping track and so far I've had 40 ounces of water since 9:30 this morning.  I think I might throw off my electrolytes and die...but I hope not.  We've been laughing about how ridiculous this competition is - but neither of us can stop! 
Anyway - 18.7 more ounces to go! Shouldn't be a problem!

1 comment:

Sarah said...

ha ha ha, that's hilarious


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