One of my favorite church hymns is, "Be Still, My Soul". I remember singing this song at church the day one of my best friends moved away and it brought me to tears because all I could think was, "I'm all alone now." She was my closest friend, we spent practically every day together, and she knew me better than anyone. My hopes, fears, pains, etc.
I guess the reason I'm thinking of this hymn today (aside from it coming on my iPod) is because lately that thought has entered my mind again, "I'm all alone now." I know that it's ridiculous, I'm surrounded by people who absolutely adore me (kidding, kidding). But I do have people in my life, here in RVA with me. But sometimes you want someone you feel comfortable telling anything to. I don't have a lot of people here in person with me who I can just sit down with and start telling everything to - whatever I'm feeling. I used to and slowly they are leaving (well...they're all gone now). I know that I will make more friends, not to replace those who are gone, but to supplement them. People who are here with me, so that when I am upset and complaining they can give me a hug, I can see their face. There's something about that in person stuff you need sometimes.
I suppose for now, as I feel alone, I'm to learn to lean on the Lord. It makes me think of the Holland talk, "None Were With Him". He starts off, "My (Easter-season) message today is intended for everyone, but it is directed in a special way to those who are alone or feel alone or, worse yet, feel abandoned. These might include those longing to be married, those who have lost a spouse, and those who have lost—or have never been blessed with—children. Our empathy embraces wives forsaken by their husbands, husbands whose wives have walked away, and children bereft of one or the other of their parents—or both. This group can find within its broad circumference a soldier far from home, a missionary in those first weeks of homesickness, or a father out of work, afraid the fear in his eyes will be visible to his family. In short it can include all of us at various times in our lives. To all such, I speak of the loneliest journey ever made and the unending blessings it brought to all in the human family. I speak of the Savior’s solitary task of shouldering alone the burden of our salvation."
Seriously, if you havn't read or heard that talk - go to the link above. You can watch, listen, read...I recommend watching - Holland is so fantastic and the message is so sweet and one that I think everyone should hear. Christ suffered, and suffered alone so that we wouldn't have to. I feel alone, but I have never been as alone as he was in his final hours and I never will have to be, because he will always be with me. I think that is so beautiful, I cannot understand why someone would not think that there is more to this life than just living it through to the end.
Anyway - I've posted the lyrics of "Be Still My Soul" below. I've bolded the parts that stand out to me at this moment. If you can, listen to that too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQ2b8oqmfgw
Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.
Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.