There are a lot of things wrong with the world today, this is just one of them

I hate outsourcing. That is, if I have the correct term. I hate it almost as much as I hate having to call and cancel something. I think that my hesitance to call and cancel something comes from an experience that I had the first time I ever tried to call and cancel something, I imagine most of America has had this same experience…I needed to cancel my AOL account. If you’ve ever tried to do this you know that it is an almost futile task. Not only can you never understand the person on the other line but the words you can understand are ones that are making it impossible to cancel your account. I’ve told them everything from my having free internet where I was living to my computer blowing up and nothing got the ‘okay’ to cancel the account, rather they tried new ways to keep me onboard, I think it took about 13 months for me to finally get it all over with. Needless to say calling today to cancel these two accounts I have was something I had been putting off for a while. I finally called to cancel some things that I have but never use and now they aren’t even on my computer anymore so what’s the point in getting them back anyway? Turns out they are linked in some way and if they aren’t these two companies both use the same recorded customer service guy, “Thank you for calling, “indiscernible company name here” I’m not even trying to protect the companies identity, it really was indiscernible. I couldn’t understand what he was saying and maybe my hearing is going or something but all I heard was “Whanc, Whanc, Whanc,” Like the way the teacher on Peanuts talks. Then I stay on the line for some assistance. First guy I talk to is definitely from India, no doubt about it. I needed to tell him my e-mail address in order to pull up my account, I spell it slowly and clearly for him, then he repeats it back, first letter was wrong so I correct him, not V as in Victor but D as in David (why David got to be the choice name for identifying the letter ‘D’ in clarifications I’ll never know). So then he starts over okay on the first letter, okay on the second letter (by the way he used Ostrich for ‘O’). We get to the fourth letter and I tell him it’s wrong, wouldn’t you know, it’s a ‘D’ so David was thrown into the conversation once more. Finally he must have gotten it right because he didn’t start to go through the spelling process again. He asks me why I’m canceling and I tell him that my computer broke and I just don’t know when I will get around to adding the program again. He’s sorry to hear that. Then he tells me how my account is good until March, and that they’ll hold my username for an additional 30 days after the account closes in case I change my mind. While he is talking I wonder if somehow it’s actually just a recording, it would make sense, it’s trying to find my account by spelling so it’s programmed to spell it back to me with the ‘L is for Lolita’ jargon and then it can correct itself, once finished it goes through this statement. Hey they can do a lot with computers these days; I wouldn’t be surprised if a company spent a lot of money at first to never have to hire a person to answer phones. Then he asks if there is anything else that he can do for me. No thanks! Have a great day. Hang up.
At this point I was proud of myself for canceling one useless account that I thought maybe I could take a break and call the other one tomorrow. But I know myself; therefore I made myself call the other number a couple of minutes later. After going through the “Thank you for calling, ‘indiscernible company name here’” message again Dagma picks up. Now, even though I had to press a ‘2’ to reach Dagma and by pressing the ‘2’ I was announcing that I wanted to cancel my account Dagma asks what she can do for me, “Oh,” I’m caught off guard thinking that she should already know, “Um, I’d like to cancel my account.” She’s sorry to hear that but willing to help me. That is quite possibly the last discernable sentence from this conversation. Dagma goes on about something but luckily I went through this before with the other program and while that guy and I had our communication problems at least I was able to catch most of what he said, we just weren’t on the same page as far as spelling goes. So I’m sitting there wondering what the heck Dagma is talking about and then there is a break in her talking, I took a stab at it and assumed that she also wanted my e-mail address. I begin to spell it, slowly and clearly. Dagma begins to spell it back, she’s got the wrong letter right near the end so I ask her what she had for the third to last letter, there was a long pause as though I just asked a command that she (as a computer we all know it’s true) was not programmed to perform. Finally she says something, I don’t know if it’s ‘D’ as in David, ‘V’ as in Viola, ‘C’ as in clearly (an adjective that is not helpful in describing our dialogue). I ask her to repeat it, same thing, just a mush of words. “B?” I ask her, mush of words in return. “B as in Brother?” I ask. A slow, “Okay” in return, “Ok now all I need you to do, blah, blah, blah.” Was it ‘B’ that she had or was it some other letter!? It will be one of those mysteries of life that I will never be able to discover the answer to. Then Dagma asks me why I’m canceling my account, “I never use it,” I tell her honestly. She can understand that. Are there any other reasons? Nope, it works fine I think, but again, I never use it. She can still understand that. So she asks for the name on the account to cancel it and sees that I have earned some rewards. Then she goes a mile a minute maybe in English and I’m not sure what I am hearing something about March and then for no charge April. I say, “Okay” when I should have learned a long time ago to stop using that word. Then she says some more things. I hear the words “sending” and “e-mail” and hope that everything will be explained in that. Anything else? Nope, no thank you Dagma. Except with Dagma I say, “no,” and she seems to not be able to get rid of me soon enough. I go to my computer and wait for the e-mail from Dagma. Turns out that my membership will be active through mid-April and if I want to continue at that time I don’t have to do anything more but if I want to cancel I have to call back to do so. Isn’t that just what I did? So now I have until April to procrastinate calling and canceling. I bet they are hoping that I forget so come mid-April they can keep taking money from me. I swear that Dagma used to work at AOL and she just can’t shake her previous training. Why couldn’t it be easy like the first one? Maybe I should have told her that my computer had blown up, maybe then I wouldn’t be sitting here with two free months to an application I never use.
And people wonder why I hate making phone calls.

If you could be any animal what would you be and why?(responses welcomed)

So I was thinking last night, how nice it would be to be a dog. I know they don’t have much going for them, if they don’t live on a farm they are usually in a kennel 63% of the time or tied up in the backyard. The kids like you when you’re a puppy but after that you’ve become a poop machine that has turned their once playful backyard into a veritable mine field. You have to beg for something decent to eat, you only get to bathe when your owner has time to give you a bath, you’ve got to wear an itchy collar all the time, etc., etc., etc. But the cool thing about being a dog is you get to speak your mind and no one thinks anything of it. If a dog doesn’t like someone they can growl, bark, show their lovely sharp teeth to demonstrate that if you come any closer you’re not likely to survive. Does anyone say anything mean in return? When I say anyone we are leaving out people who abuse animals, shoot animals, or are in any other way humanly impaired. No, people don’t say, “Well that dog must have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed” or, “What a horrible dog for saying such things!” No, in fact in some small way they respect that dog, at least enough to avoid running into it. But if I were to openly express how I felt about someone there would be talk behind my back, people would wonder if I was on some mood altering medication, and not to mention there would also be some demeaning names attached. Being a person who desperately wants to speak (here I am referring to the verbal ability, writing I can usually get it out, but verbally I’m trapped in a prison of my own impulsiveness and stupidity) my mind but is typically unable to do so I envy the dogs around the world who can easily get the point across that they don’t like you, and nobody asks them to explain why. It could be the way they smell, the way they look, it really could just be a bad doggy day, regardless the reasoning, dogs have that aspect of life a whole lot easier.

The only thing better is to be a cat with claws where you could randomly throw out a few quick swats at someone, forever altering their paradigm of kitty safety and closeness. And if you get away fast enough nobody will put you down at the vet’s office and you can live off the mice of the land.

I never did post a picture of my final box for the Chili Cook-Off did I? Well, here it is. Despite the dire circumstances of the men’s bathroom because the Chili Cook-off began I think that the whole thing went rather well. Everyone seemed to have a good time, they ate more chili than they expected, they ravaged the dessert table and kept me busy filling cups with ice for their drinks. I’ve posted some more pictures of it because even though it wore me out I thought it was fun, and I’d much rather be working it then trying to find someone to hang out with during it.
In current events, yesterday we received an e-mail informing us that today would be a casual day because of the impending inclement weather. We were also cautioned to drive safely. Being a woman who does not watch the news or the weather channel I just had to take their word for it, it was the first I had heard of any storm coming our way. Either way I welcomed the opportunity to dress casually today. So when I woke up this morning I expected more, for those of you in Virginia with me you understand, those of you not in Virginia let’s just say there was no need to drive slowly today. First thing I did though was turn on the television and go to NBC and read the school closings. I’ve been out of high school for quite some time now so I’m not sure why that was my initial reaction unless it was more just to see what kind of damage was done. If the school’s were closed then it was pretty bad, a two-hour delay meant that they were just playing on the side of caution. On the side of caution it was, Henrico County Schools had a two hour delay. So I got ready for the day and then went out to my car a little earlier than usual to try and warm it up so the ice would just fall off rather than scraping it off because I wasn’t sure if I had a scraper in the car. Since this “hands free” approach didn’t work I went to the trunk to see what goodies I would find there. Turns out I do have a scraper, a really nice one, and I’m not sure if I stole it from my parent’s or if my dad slipped one in. It’s like the other day a friend needed a wrench or a pair of pliers, thinking I had my little tool kit in the car I went perusing in the trunk and found a nice wrench, I didn’t know I had a wrench much less a nice one I would find in my dad’s tool box, I thought pliers maybe, but not a wrench. I don’t recall putting that in the trunk either. Maybe I’m one of those kleptomaniacs who apparently don’t even remember taking the item. Since these are things that I need and I have used them I won’t be trying to find the proper owners.

Maybe I'm stressed or maybe I've watched too many scary movies...

I had the creepiest dream last night. I would feel comfortable classifying this one as a nightmare. So in my dream, first off, it’s a more futuristic setting, but that doesn’t mean that I saw flying cars or anything, but mode of transportation did seem a little different. These two boys, brothers, get into this contraption, I can’t tell if it floats or what, I can’t remember, but as they are trying to get from Point A to Point B something happens and they are lucky to end up on top of a building that is obviously separated from the city they live in. I can’t quite tell but it looks like nothing connects these out lying buildings to the city…nothing, no ground or anything. So they are stuck on this building and there are two girls (sisters) stuck on the building as well. One boy and one girl are teenagers and the other boy and girl are younger. One of the boys gets on this floating device and tries to get from one rooftop to the other, but then it messes up and he almost falls to his death (or just constant falling since I still don’t see any ground) but his brother gets a hold of him and pulls him back. They are okay on the building until it starts to get dark and the little ones begin to get nervous because of stories they have heard about these creatures that inhabit the buildings outside of the city. In the city the people are getting nervous too because they know that there are people stuck in these buildings all around the outskirts of the city and they are trying to devise ways to get them safely home. The mayor happens to be the mother of the two boys and she wants to just send help to them right away but doesn’t want to abuse her authority in that way. So they do what they normally do when this happens and that is to draw a lottery. They have everyone’s names in a big round ball and it spins and the mayor reaches in and calls a name. That person is then the one that the helicopter will go and rescue, and if they can they will rescue whoever is with them. So they are calling names but they are all people that are safe in the town. One girl whose name gets called gets upset and says that she’s fine they should concentrate on getting the people stuck in the buildings. The mom really just wants to go get her boys but she keeps doing what they’ve always done. Meanwhile the teenagers stuck on the building start to get nervous too but are trying to be brave for the kids. They all arm themselves with random things they found on the building and set themselves up so that their backs face each other rather than the vast darkness surrounding them, that way they can protect each other. They (including me who doesn’t seem to be in this dream, only watching it) can hear this scampering noise coming from random places in the building.
Then I’m on the other side, I’m with the mayor, this big black guy and some weird guy as they prepare to enter into an abandoned building. They want to try to help these kids and for some reason going to this building is going to help. The weird guy has brought along a bunch of crutches to fight off whatever it is they are afraid of. They enter into one room and it is completely dark, the mayor and the black dude walk into the room while the weird guy holds the door open for them so light can come in, the light switches don’t work. Then the weird guy starts swinging the crutches and yelling, he keeps trying to hit behind the door since he can see most of the rest of the room he figures the creatures are behind the door (my heart is racing just recalling this part of the dream). He keeps doing this for a while, certain that creatures will reach out and grab the one crutch and then he and the others can attack him with the crutches that they will still have. At one point he opens his mouth to scream and this incredibly high pitched noise comes out instead. But it’s not just high pitched, underneath there is a lower pitch, I don’t know how to explain that. Maybe you’ve heard something similar to it in Jurassic Park when the T-rex gets ticked off. That’s when I brake into a cold sweat. The kids on the other building hear the noise too and I remember one of them looking down off the side of the building and just getting dizzy as I see that there is nothing nearby, that it’s too dark to tell what’s down below, that they don’t know if something is coming for them. Suddenly I woke up, I was awake but I was too afraid to open my eyes. Finally I decided that I had to because I couldn’t fall back asleep. I had my eyes open for a few seconds and then I turned on the TV because I could do that without moving and it would give me some light. Then I jumped up and turned on the light quickly. I was thirsty and hot so I turned on the fan and then went to the bathroom to fill up a cup with water, but I wouldn’t go into the kitchen at first because I was still too shaken up. Then Chubbers decided that he had to go to the bathroom so I turned on the bathroom light, then the laundry room light and I let Chubbers walk in front of me the whole way. Then I turned on the kitchen light, the dining room light, the Florida room light, and then finally the outside light. I was hesitant to turn off the lights on our walk back to the room. I put the sleeper on the TV and fell asleep with it playing. It was one of the creepiest dreams that I have ever had.

Birthday Celebrations

Wednesday was Chubbers first birthday! He was officially three-hundred and sixty-five days old and to celebrate you know what he did? He ate 7 cupcakes that my roommate, Emily, had sitting on the counter. Not only did he eat the cupcakes but he ate the wrappers as well! Since he already had eaten seven cupcakes I thought that I would let him lick the spoon from the second cake batter used to replace the original cupcakes. I know, I’m a bad mom, not only am I spoiling him but I’m giving him an opportunity to contract salmonella. Don’t worry folks if that’s not enough punishment for him he did spend a good amount of time in time out, but it was his birthday, that only comes once a year and in doggy years who knows if it will come 10 times total, he only has one life he’s going to live it on the edge! I will not let my human children do that though, don’t worry, strict rules to become productive members of society and they won’t lick spoons from cake batter, no way, nothing but beaters for my human kids.
Needless to say Chubbers had quite the sugar rush and he was completely annoying! He was jumping on everything, running around with his little paws making that annoying tapping sound, he kept getting in my face and Emily’s face, he attacked Claire when she came home and tried to follow her into her room on more than one occasion. I wanted nothing more than for him to calm down and lay on the floor while we were watching a movie, but his crash came after we were back in my room. I was working on the computer, turned around, and there he was, lying on the floor. He had a puppy sugar hang over and I like any good mom, took a picture. I think it’s safe to say that he thoroughly enjoyed his birthday.

Have a Happy Valentine's Day!! ...Or Else!

I love the color red! I don’t so much love Valentine’s Day but I love that Valentine’s Day loves the color red, so therefore I am instantly keener about the whole “holiday”. This morning my boss brought in heart shaped doughnuts from Krispy Kreme, and seeing as how my friend Gretel apparently didn’t believe me I took pictures. I think they taste better being heart shaped, kind of like the Reese’s cups tasting better when they are shaped like eggs or Christmas trees. It could, in all honesty, have something to do with the ratio of ingredients, like with the Reese’s eggs having a higher peanut butter to chocolate ratio. Kind of glad Easter candy is already out there on the shelves.
I have to say though, I think Valentine’s Day is losing its flare, only two women at work received flowers, 1 got a balloon, and I only got two text messages commanding me to have a happy Valentine’s Day. Last week my mom and I went to the store, she wanted to purchase some Valentine’s greeting cards and there was only a small section devoted to the holiday. What? Could Hallmark not come up with enough cheesy things to say? Actually, I’ve noticed a lot of internet cards being passed around, maybe Valentine’s Day is becoming an internet holiday, like an internet business. Sure conversation hearts went on the shelf December 26th, but where was the marketing for this holiday? Where were the perfunctory Jared’s and ‘Every Kiss Begins with K’ commercials? Honestly, I expected more. But then again, maybe it’s because I haven’t been watching much TV due to the writer’s strike. When all else fails I can take comfort in the fact that at least Krispy Kreme was putting in the extra effort this year to make Valentine’s something special.

Well, to sum this whole thing up and for the record, I find nothing wrong with Valentine's Day. I enjoy that it enjoys the color red and I'm worried about what path it has decided to go down, but that is none of my business. Hope you all have a good Valentine's day no matter where you are and who you're with (or not with).

Happy Birthday Little Man

He's the one with the purple string

A little birthday tribute to my dog Chubbers. Born this day one year ago



Life as a Yuppy-Puppy Chubbers and his Mama, he gets his looks from her but also half of her brain too :(

Look how little he used to be


There is a slight gap in growing up pictures because his main growth spurt occurred while he was King Omega down south by Iron Bridge Road.


Here's what he looked like when we finally got him back, definitely the same dog.

One of his favorite activities...sleeping.