Yesterday flew by so quickly that this morning I thought it was Wednesday. Much to my dismay I quickly realized that Tuesday had never happened because today is Tuesday. Breaks my heart. In addition to that, today is dragging by like a man who recently had both his legs amputated.
I have discovered that I am a real hypochondriac. I had always just assumed I was a pretend hypochondriac...more what I like to call a hypochondriac-hypochondriac (a hot pocket hot pocket?** (15 points since that one isn't from a movie). You know the person who isn't actually a hypochondriac but they act like one? I guess in a way, that can't really exist huh? Thinking about it makes me head feel like it will explode. (Yes I am aware that I sounded like a leprechaun there).
My sisters' bodies are malfunctioning, therefore we have all been pulled into a quest to diagnose them. Well, there are three of us working on it and two of them are the ones with issues so I suppose that in our own little ways we are all up for self diagnosing. So Sister A sends an e-mail telling Sister B to take a thyroid quiz. So Sister C (that's me) took the quiz too. (Of course we can't forget Sister D, but she knows what ails her...a little alien baby growing inside of her.) This quiz was not set up right. First of all - define "hungry all the time" because yes, I would consider myself hungry all the time, would a doctor? Probably not. Then as if that weren't enough, it seemed designed to torment a hypochondriac, after each question it would say either "Yes, that is a risk or symptom of hypo-hyper thyroid something or other" (very medical sounding) or it would say "The answer should have been 'yes' for it to be a risk/symptom blah, blah." Well, so of course, true to the American education system, I felt as though I failed the test. 54% of my answers should have been 'yes' but they were not. It's like eye exams:
DocOcular: Which one is better, 1 or 2...2 or 1.
Me: Uh...well...which one should be better?
DocOcular: It's all up to you.
Me: 1?
DocOcular: *slight silence*
Me: *Feeling like I answered the question wrong.* Did I do okay?
There is no wrong or right and yet I am left feeling that way. So anyway, my point being, there were risks/symptoms that I said 'no' to because I didn't have them. By the way I said 'yes' to always feeling hungry...it was the truth.
That night as I lay sleeping my mind recalled the quiz and my body decided to emulate the risks/symptoms that I had overlooked. I woke up, unable to swallow (a risk/symptom is 'difficulty swallowing') I coughed and gasped for air and as the beams of the 2:00 a.m. moonlight cast shadows on my wall I thought, "I must have hypo/hyper thyroidism." And then...a brief moment of clarity when the brain cloud* dispersed I realized I don't have that, what I suffer from is hypochondria and nothing more. But my throat still hurts when I swallow.
Anyway, this leads me to this afternoon, Boss Lady comes over and tells me she went to Patient First because her eye was bothering her...pink eye!! My ocular nemesis! So...whose eye do you think stings and itches and is feeling quite pink? That's right...Mine! I probably have it too, because this morning, long before I knew of Boss Lady's ailment, I was paranoid that I might have it. But then again, what morning am I not paranoid that I have contracted pink eye? My medical life is a little complicated right now.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
She was given to fits of semi-precious metaphors*
I am on a quest to help a friend, and on that quest I have come to the realization that I secretly want to be the female Greg Behrendt (the author of the book He's Just Not That Into You). I have ample experience in rejection and unrequited love. I have a Bachelor's degree in being the Man's Lady, in other words, I am the girl that the guys love to be friends with and like to vent their women frustrations to. For over a decade I have been working on my Ph.D in the Intricacies of the Male Brain - I have had the opportunity to learn from many naturally gifted individuals just how the male brain works. I am not completely there, so take that in to consideration whenever I start spouting off ideas. I am a work in progress and so are the ideas coming out of my head.
That being said, I am currently working on a __ Step Program (Not sure how many steps yet so I left it blank) to help girls.
Sometimes being single is a pain in the butt because every topic seems to go back to dating. People talk about it like it's a disease to be cured. We spend the first quarter of our lives single, it's not because we are infected with some virus, it's just the way things are, it's a part of life. No one talks about adolescence like it's something to be fixed...well, maybe. But childhood certainly, no one asks, "What can we do differently so that children are growing up and leaving childhood faster?" It's just a stage of life that we grow through until one day, we find someone, we get married, and we are single no more.
Tuesday night at Institute we were talking about one topic, and it seemed to me that no matter what question was asked it came back to dating. I suppose being a large group of single people together this was to be expected, and in some situations I agree that we should try to apply it to our lives. However, this night the topic didn't seem like it could even go to dating, but somehow it did.
At one point in the class they were talking about how men and women react differently to different situations. Isaac was going on about how men use logic and women use emotion. Then in almost the same breath he talks about how emotions are illogical, which fits if his statement of logic vs emotion is men vs. women. If men are logical women must be illogical. Women use emotions, women are illogical therefore emotions are illogical. I may have only been half paying attention in class...therefore I may have a few details wrong, but I think you get the gist.
If this is true then we need help. If men see women as a source of some illogical, emotional hurricane then something must be done. I personally don't think that anyone would consider me to be illogical, at least I hope not. I know that at one point in my life they would have, but not recently. So I know that it is quite possible that a lot of girls are that way because I was once that way. (Don't get me wrong, I don't actually believe that guys are all that logical either...but I'm here to work on the girls).
The other night I was talking to a friend and she said that I was the kind of girl guys liked to hang out with. I'm laid back and something else...obviously I'm the kind of girl with a half-a memory as well. When she said this I wanted to help her out. I feel/hope that all girls can someday be the kind of girl that guys like to hang out with. When this is truly reached what we have is a girl comfortable with herself in any situation, even surrounded by a pool of potential eternal companions. When she is comfortable enough to kick it with the boys and be herself is when people begin to see how fantastic she is. This isn't a guarantee that she'll be beating off guys with a stick, but hopefully, there will be one guy who sits up and takes notice, and all you really need is one guy.
However, the most important thing is to do this for you, for your self-confidence, for your happiness. Don't follow these steps with the sole purpose of getting a guy. It will certainly back fire. This isn't a way to get a guy, this is a way to be yourself in any situation. In order to do that you must begin with step 1.
Step 1: The first and foremost thing you have to do is not to become emotionally invested right away. You're at the store, you're checking out the groceries before settling on just one. Imagine the heartache if you walked up to the first product you saw and said, "this is perfect I love it." You go and buy it, you put it in the car and think of all the wonderful possibles as you drive home. You bring it into the house and continue to admire it, wondering when the best time to open it will be. The more you admire the more anxious you become. You are emotionally vested in this one product, let's say, a box of cereal. You are so certain that this cereal is the one for you. Finally, you can't take it any longer. You grab the box and open it up, but in your haste the bag has ripped open and the cereal is all over the floor, ruined. You cry for days, no other box of cereal will do, you loved that last box and now it's all spoiled. You become plagued with "what-ifs" and wondering how you could have approached that situation differently.
Does this make sense? I use metaphors a lot because I have an easier way of expressing my words in metaphors, so I apologize if they don't make any sense to anyone but me.
Pretty much, you put everything you had into one thing, one person and you didn't even know enough about them, you certainly didn't know if they were interested in you in return. I'm not saying that you need to give up on finding love, I'm saying you need to tone it down a bit. Nothing scares away love more than the desperate desire to find it. It's like light to cockroaches...to some cockroaches - not those creepy ones that don't care so they'll keep coming at you anyway...but that's a different metaphor and a different breed of guy.
When you are focused on one thing then you may overlook something better. It may not seem better right away, but you have to remember, guys are just like girls in the respect that they are looking for someone too. They can make the same mistakes that we make. If you aren't dating a guy, haven't even gone on one date, don't you dare put everything you have into it. Because if it falls through, if he decides to go for someone else, it will hurt like a break-up when you weren't even dating.
If this is making sense then I will keep going with the steps. Now, they are in an order, however, some girls are beyond some steps and need to first overcome where they are, so while they are numbered, they don't have to go in order. If this is not making sense then this was just something to help me pass the morning away and I'll stop with the steps. Let me know.
That being said, I am currently working on a __ Step Program (Not sure how many steps yet so I left it blank) to help girls.
Sometimes being single is a pain in the butt because every topic seems to go back to dating. People talk about it like it's a disease to be cured. We spend the first quarter of our lives single, it's not because we are infected with some virus, it's just the way things are, it's a part of life. No one talks about adolescence like it's something to be fixed...well, maybe. But childhood certainly, no one asks, "What can we do differently so that children are growing up and leaving childhood faster?" It's just a stage of life that we grow through until one day, we find someone, we get married, and we are single no more.
Tuesday night at Institute we were talking about one topic, and it seemed to me that no matter what question was asked it came back to dating. I suppose being a large group of single people together this was to be expected, and in some situations I agree that we should try to apply it to our lives. However, this night the topic didn't seem like it could even go to dating, but somehow it did.
At one point in the class they were talking about how men and women react differently to different situations. Isaac was going on about how men use logic and women use emotion. Then in almost the same breath he talks about how emotions are illogical, which fits if his statement of logic vs emotion is men vs. women. If men are logical women must be illogical. Women use emotions, women are illogical therefore emotions are illogical. I may have only been half paying attention in class...therefore I may have a few details wrong, but I think you get the gist.
If this is true then we need help. If men see women as a source of some illogical, emotional hurricane then something must be done. I personally don't think that anyone would consider me to be illogical, at least I hope not. I know that at one point in my life they would have, but not recently. So I know that it is quite possible that a lot of girls are that way because I was once that way. (Don't get me wrong, I don't actually believe that guys are all that logical either...but I'm here to work on the girls).
The other night I was talking to a friend and she said that I was the kind of girl guys liked to hang out with. I'm laid back and something else...obviously I'm the kind of girl with a half-a memory as well. When she said this I wanted to help her out. I feel/hope that all girls can someday be the kind of girl that guys like to hang out with. When this is truly reached what we have is a girl comfortable with herself in any situation, even surrounded by a pool of potential eternal companions. When she is comfortable enough to kick it with the boys and be herself is when people begin to see how fantastic she is. This isn't a guarantee that she'll be beating off guys with a stick, but hopefully, there will be one guy who sits up and takes notice, and all you really need is one guy.
However, the most important thing is to do this for you, for your self-confidence, for your happiness. Don't follow these steps with the sole purpose of getting a guy. It will certainly back fire. This isn't a way to get a guy, this is a way to be yourself in any situation. In order to do that you must begin with step 1.
Step 1: The first and foremost thing you have to do is not to become emotionally invested right away. You're at the store, you're checking out the groceries before settling on just one. Imagine the heartache if you walked up to the first product you saw and said, "this is perfect I love it." You go and buy it, you put it in the car and think of all the wonderful possibles as you drive home. You bring it into the house and continue to admire it, wondering when the best time to open it will be. The more you admire the more anxious you become. You are emotionally vested in this one product, let's say, a box of cereal. You are so certain that this cereal is the one for you. Finally, you can't take it any longer. You grab the box and open it up, but in your haste the bag has ripped open and the cereal is all over the floor, ruined. You cry for days, no other box of cereal will do, you loved that last box and now it's all spoiled. You become plagued with "what-ifs" and wondering how you could have approached that situation differently.
Does this make sense? I use metaphors a lot because I have an easier way of expressing my words in metaphors, so I apologize if they don't make any sense to anyone but me.
Pretty much, you put everything you had into one thing, one person and you didn't even know enough about them, you certainly didn't know if they were interested in you in return. I'm not saying that you need to give up on finding love, I'm saying you need to tone it down a bit. Nothing scares away love more than the desperate desire to find it. It's like light to cockroaches...to some cockroaches - not those creepy ones that don't care so they'll keep coming at you anyway...but that's a different metaphor and a different breed of guy.
When you are focused on one thing then you may overlook something better. It may not seem better right away, but you have to remember, guys are just like girls in the respect that they are looking for someone too. They can make the same mistakes that we make. If you aren't dating a guy, haven't even gone on one date, don't you dare put everything you have into it. Because if it falls through, if he decides to go for someone else, it will hurt like a break-up when you weren't even dating.
If this is making sense then I will keep going with the steps. Now, they are in an order, however, some girls are beyond some steps and need to first overcome where they are, so while they are numbered, they don't have to go in order. If this is not making sense then this was just something to help me pass the morning away and I'll stop with the steps. Let me know.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
So strong like Sodom and Gomorrah*
All's quiet in blog land. At least that's what my blogroll is telling me...though sometimes it lies.
Yesterday I mowed the lawn. In between mowing the back and the front yard the neighbor boys came over to play with Chubbs. Jacob (the oldest) informed me that tomorrow (today) is his 10th birthday. When I met the kid he was 8 about to turn 9...strangely feel old now. They told me about their fun day with their grandpa, crashing bumper cars and getting laughed at (because they crashed) by African Americans. No joke, Jonathan said, "And then this African American kid". I guess it just caught me off guard. Anyway, so then they run off because some other neighbors have come out of their house and they have a little grandson, so they all go to play in the cul-de-sac. When they did I decided to mow the front lawn. Then they came back over after I was done and asked if we could take Chubbs for a walk. I almost said 'no' because I was tired and it was already 7:30 and I hadn't eaten dinner, but I decided what the hey?
I let Jacob hold the leash but reminded him that it was important not to let go of it. No matter how funny it is to watch Chubbs run off it wasn't actually funny because he (Chubbs) gets in a lot of trouble when he runs loose (i.e. the cops getting called on him). We walk all the way to the middle school and back which is a mile so I'm impressed with the boys. On the way back Jacob starts talking about how he wants to get home so he can get plenty of sleep and not sleep in tomorrow because he was getting chocolate chip pancakes. He's had chocolate chip pancakes once in his life at the 3rd street diner which serves breakfast all day long. But this is the first time that his mom will be making them for him. (Yeah I learn a lot from them). Then a jeep passes by and it's my neighbor's son who is in college (so I guess he's my neighbor too but only in the summers and during holidays). So then they start to say how cool this neighbor is, but do I know Anna? Her grandson lives with her and he tries to be cool with tattoos and piercings and a chain around his waist and spikes on his bracelet (Like Chubbs' collar). This is the point where I realize that I should never talk too much in front of these kids, they remember everything and they tell all to anyone who will listen.
So we turn on to our street and Jonathan says to Jacob, "Mom bought me a present to give to you." And the following conversation ensued.
Jacob: Tell me
Jonathan: I can't
Jacob: whisper it in my ear
Jonathan: No, I'm not supposed to tell you
Jacob: You suck. (Jacob to me) Do you want to know what I am getting?
Me: Do your parents know you know because they are right there. (pointing ahead a couple of yards). But are you getting a Wii? (he told me he asked for one).
Jacob: I haven't opened my gifts yet.
End of that portion of the conversation. So I don't know if he really doesn't know or what he would have said if I had just said I wanted to know what he got, or if he was playing dumb because the folks might hear.
Anyway, that's my evening. Sorry if it was boring to you, but I felt like it had been a while since I blogged.
Yesterday I mowed the lawn. In between mowing the back and the front yard the neighbor boys came over to play with Chubbs. Jacob (the oldest) informed me that tomorrow (today) is his 10th birthday. When I met the kid he was 8 about to turn 9...strangely feel old now. They told me about their fun day with their grandpa, crashing bumper cars and getting laughed at (because they crashed) by African Americans. No joke, Jonathan said, "And then this African American kid". I guess it just caught me off guard. Anyway, so then they run off because some other neighbors have come out of their house and they have a little grandson, so they all go to play in the cul-de-sac. When they did I decided to mow the front lawn. Then they came back over after I was done and asked if we could take Chubbs for a walk. I almost said 'no' because I was tired and it was already 7:30 and I hadn't eaten dinner, but I decided what the hey?
I let Jacob hold the leash but reminded him that it was important not to let go of it. No matter how funny it is to watch Chubbs run off it wasn't actually funny because he (Chubbs) gets in a lot of trouble when he runs loose (i.e. the cops getting called on him). We walk all the way to the middle school and back which is a mile so I'm impressed with the boys. On the way back Jacob starts talking about how he wants to get home so he can get plenty of sleep and not sleep in tomorrow because he was getting chocolate chip pancakes. He's had chocolate chip pancakes once in his life at the 3rd street diner which serves breakfast all day long. But this is the first time that his mom will be making them for him. (Yeah I learn a lot from them). Then a jeep passes by and it's my neighbor's son who is in college (so I guess he's my neighbor too but only in the summers and during holidays). So then they start to say how cool this neighbor is, but do I know Anna? Her grandson lives with her and he tries to be cool with tattoos and piercings and a chain around his waist and spikes on his bracelet (Like Chubbs' collar). This is the point where I realize that I should never talk too much in front of these kids, they remember everything and they tell all to anyone who will listen.
So we turn on to our street and Jonathan says to Jacob, "Mom bought me a present to give to you." And the following conversation ensued.
Jacob: Tell me
Jonathan: I can't
Jacob: whisper it in my ear
Jonathan: No, I'm not supposed to tell you
Jacob: You suck. (Jacob to me) Do you want to know what I am getting?
Me: Do your parents know you know because they are right there. (pointing ahead a couple of yards). But are you getting a Wii? (he told me he asked for one).
Jacob: I haven't opened my gifts yet.
End of that portion of the conversation. So I don't know if he really doesn't know or what he would have said if I had just said I wanted to know what he got, or if he was playing dumb because the folks might hear.
Anyway, that's my evening. Sorry if it was boring to you, but I felt like it had been a while since I blogged.
Monday, July 13, 2009
No title...Just wanted to share.
This gave me a smile so I thought I would share. I hope my children are this cool.
And while I'm at it here's another good one.
And while I'm at it here's another good one.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
MINERS, not MINORS!*
Yesterday during Sunday School Andre comes to sit next to me. Andre is special needs and can be handled best in small doses. He used to think that I was my roommate - he trapped me in the hallway one Monday and asked me if I had looked up a map of Romania yet and I hadn't the foggiest why I should have. Later when telling the story to my roommates Emily spoke up and said that he probably thought I was her because he had told her to look up the map of Romania.
Late last year he started to sit next to me in Sunday School. He called me Monkey, and there are several other girls at church that he calls Monkey, so it's not just me. Yesterday he came into class, walked past me and sat down next to this girl, Vanessa. Then he talked to Nate who was sitting behind him, showing Nate the number he had gotten from a girl. Then he made eye contact with me (I don't remember how). He pretended to pluck his eyeballs out and play golf with them. I made a face and then gestured for him to put his eyeballs back in his head.
Maybe I shouldn't have done that, but then I wouldn't have this story to tell. So he gets up and leaves the room. When he comes back in he comes and sits next to me. Then he asks for a piece of paper, so I give him one, but I don't give him a pen (I was using it to take notes). He goes and finds a pencil and starts drawing. Then he gives me this.
He hadn't signed it yet, I made him sign it when he told me the picture was for me. Then he tells me that I am the ant and that it looks just like me. ...Let's take a closer look at the ant.
The resemblance is uncanny.
He points to the bottom segment of the body and said, "That's your butt." I laughed and thanked him for pointing it out. Then he mentioned the wide eyes on the ant so I tried to widen my own eyes and asked him if it looked like me.
Then he starts to tell me that the ant is an army ant so I ask him if I'm an army ant where is my helmet? He didn't laugh, he simply explained to me that Army ants aren't in the army, they can eat people. I just nodded and said, "Ohhh." So I'm a wide-eyed, people eating army ant. Beware folks...beware.
Though the resemblance here is pretty crazy too. Anyway, that's my story for the day.
Right before he left after Sunday School he decided that my name is no longer Monkey but rather I am now to be known as Peanut. I'm guessing he doesn't mean this guy.
Though the resemblance here is pretty crazy too. Anyway, that's my story for the day. Friday, July 10, 2009
If only she had called me. If only I was listed.*
I was kind of bored this morning so I attempted to read up on current events. Sadly I am one of those people who is disconnected from the world. If I were into at least celebrity gossip then maybe I might be a tad more interesting. But you see, I don't find that stuff interesting. To me, current events are like science - there's no real correlation there except for in my head so don't hurt yourself thinking about it. When I study science and I come across a big word I can't pronounce it gets skimmed over and in the end, completely ignored. I block the word from my mind because it doesn't have a definition attached and I can't even say it so why bother? This is a flaw - possible learning disability for me. So when I start reading about stuff going on in the world and I come across issues that have a history longer than my DNA chain I skip over it. So I am left with half understanding and half opinions about topics - I want to be able to talk about this stuff, but at the same time, I don't care enough to read up on it.
So this morning was just another failed attempt. I read the headline about the San Andres fault giving off "mysterious vibrations" and that things might be progressing more quickly than originally thought. And that was about it, I decided I didn't really want to read up on current events so I never got to the first sentence of the article. All I have to say is Mur...get out and get out now. Come to Virginia. Cali is a lost cause, it's going to fall into the ocean, but Virginia is protected from such natural disasters...I worked it all out.
The only other thing I read was the headline that Stewart (as in Bella from Twilight) pregnancy rumors are denied. I clicked on that thinking I would be more interested. But the article came up and her picture with it, her half opened eyes picture and I said, "I'm Bella, I always look stoned." And closed it. The headline told me all I needed to know anyway...she's not pregnant.
At least I knew MJ died, I've got enough coming in to know that.
I think that if someone could just explain current events (and their respective histories) to me in layman's terms that I could get it...I'm going to work on that, on finding someone to help me with that.
So this morning was just another failed attempt. I read the headline about the San Andres fault giving off "mysterious vibrations" and that things might be progressing more quickly than originally thought. And that was about it, I decided I didn't really want to read up on current events so I never got to the first sentence of the article. All I have to say is Mur...get out and get out now. Come to Virginia. Cali is a lost cause, it's going to fall into the ocean, but Virginia is protected from such natural disasters...I worked it all out.
The only other thing I read was the headline that Stewart (as in Bella from Twilight) pregnancy rumors are denied. I clicked on that thinking I would be more interested. But the article came up and her picture with it, her half opened eyes picture and I said, "I'm Bella, I always look stoned." And closed it. The headline told me all I needed to know anyway...she's not pregnant.
At least I knew MJ died, I've got enough coming in to know that.
I think that if someone could just explain current events (and their respective histories) to me in layman's terms that I could get it...I'm going to work on that, on finding someone to help me with that.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
I can't work under these conditions...it's unprofessional!*
Okay, I'm going to complain.
I feel like maybe I haven't complained in a while so that makes it okay for me to complain to you here, today.
On April 24th I e-mailed a lady about a slider sign, you know, you put them up next to a room and it says whether or not it's in use. I wanted to know if they sold slider signs because we already ordered the nameplates from them so why not right? *snapping fingers* keep your eyes open, humor me, I know this isn't the most thrilling thing. But April 24th people. April 24th.
On May 5th I ordered a nameplate for an employee who had gotten married (and therefore changed their last name). So this woman...let's call her Ann (cause that's her name) writes me to tell me they got the order and to ask me if she had ever gotten back to me about the slider signs and offers to send a drawing or picture of said slider sign. So I play nice and tell her that no, she hadn't gotten back to me but I would love to be the recipient of aforementioned drawings. That was same day, I'm a same day response kind of gal.
A month later on June 4th I e-mail her back - it is not unusual for your "contact" to have quit and not told you, why would they tell you? Someone else will be assigned to you and eventually, through all effort on your part, you will find out your new contact (Thank you Southern Health for that great experience building opportunity - but I digress). So I e-mail her and tell her I was just checking up on whether or not they even sell the darn signs.
June 10th - I order another nameplate (all these people getting married - crazies). So Ann e-mails me at 4:49 p.m. She says she has a sneaking suspicion that she owes me a drawing or picture of a sample slider...are you serious? I just told you that* 6 days ago I e-mailed you asking you about that...you forgot?! Needless to say I am a little...hmmm...flustered. It was the last ten minutes of work, I've already packed up the nice Jessica who puts up with crap and pretends she's not annoyed in my purse, therefore I wait until the next day to respond. In the morning I'm nice and chipper and tell her that I have that happen to me too sometimes, blah, blah, blah, but yes we still need a sample slider - is there anything you need from me to get this going? (in nice words).
JULY 7th - I felt like elevating my blood pressure so I looked through "pending" things and found the last e-mail and response from/to Ann. So I decide to play her game. "Oh Ann, the slider signs just popped into my mind (insert airhead laugh here) so I thought I would check in with you, blah, blah, blah."
Amazingly I got an e-mail from her this morning with pictures of sample sliders...I could weep with joy.
But that's not all folks - there's the matter of the filing cabinet. At this point I don't have the brain capacity to keep going. Maybe another time...who knows...maybe this afternoon.
I feel like maybe I haven't complained in a while so that makes it okay for me to complain to you here, today.
On April 24th I e-mailed a lady about a slider sign, you know, you put them up next to a room and it says whether or not it's in use. I wanted to know if they sold slider signs because we already ordered the nameplates from them so why not right? *snapping fingers* keep your eyes open, humor me, I know this isn't the most thrilling thing. But April 24th people. April 24th.
On May 5th I ordered a nameplate for an employee who had gotten married (and therefore changed their last name). So this woman...let's call her Ann (cause that's her name) writes me to tell me they got the order and to ask me if she had ever gotten back to me about the slider signs and offers to send a drawing or picture of said slider sign. So I play nice and tell her that no, she hadn't gotten back to me but I would love to be the recipient of aforementioned drawings. That was same day, I'm a same day response kind of gal.
A month later on June 4th I e-mail her back - it is not unusual for your "contact" to have quit and not told you, why would they tell you? Someone else will be assigned to you and eventually, through all effort on your part, you will find out your new contact (Thank you Southern Health for that great experience building opportunity - but I digress). So I e-mail her and tell her I was just checking up on whether or not they even sell the darn signs.
June 10th - I order another nameplate (all these people getting married - crazies). So Ann e-mails me at 4:49 p.m. She says she has a sneaking suspicion that she owes me a drawing or picture of a sample slider...are you serious? I just told you that* 6 days ago I e-mailed you asking you about that...you forgot?! Needless to say I am a little...hmmm...flustered. It was the last ten minutes of work, I've already packed up the nice Jessica who puts up with crap and pretends she's not annoyed in my purse, therefore I wait until the next day to respond. In the morning I'm nice and chipper and tell her that I have that happen to me too sometimes, blah, blah, blah, but yes we still need a sample slider - is there anything you need from me to get this going? (in nice words).
JULY 7th - I felt like elevating my blood pressure so I looked through "pending" things and found the last e-mail and response from/to Ann. So I decide to play her game. "Oh Ann, the slider signs just popped into my mind (insert airhead laugh here) so I thought I would check in with you, blah, blah, blah."
Amazingly I got an e-mail from her this morning with pictures of sample sliders...I could weep with joy.
But that's not all folks - there's the matter of the filing cabinet. At this point I don't have the brain capacity to keep going. Maybe another time...who knows...maybe this afternoon.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
You're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat*
You have reached the blog address of Lildonbro. She is here today but is either too busy or too lazy to write in the blog. If you are here for blog bucks please stay on the line...
Remember the rules: limit yourself to answering two of them, if within a week there are some remaining, then you are free to take a stab at them and earn some more blog bucks.
10 pointers
"Was that my pants or my muscle?" (AMBER)
Remember the rules: limit yourself to answering two of them, if within a week there are some remaining, then you are free to take a stab at them and earn some more blog bucks.
10 pointers
"Was that my pants or my muscle?" (AMBER)
"That's a weird place to put a piano." (GRETEL)
"You sly dog, you've got me monologuing!" (SARIE)
"Hairy legs are your only link to reality." (MART)
20 pointers
"Bout a nine of the tension scale there." (JOANNA)
"Finger Painting?" (MART)
"What in our history together makes you think I'm capable of doing that?" (AMBER)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed so tight." (SARIE)
Thursday, July 2, 2009
The Reader's Digest Version
Theories and Syndromes (mostly for Mur):
Soda Pop Syndrome: When a girl likes a guy she becomes much like a can of soda. It is human instinct (or maybe just a girl thing) to desire to share a secret with at least one person. The secret builds up inside of you like carbonation in a soda and you're just shaking and feel like if you don't tell someone you're going to explode. (Which just made me think of a movie quote, big surprise there, "We're going to die, we're all going to die."*). I came up with this theory because I was having random girls who were not my BFFs tell me their crushes. I don't want to know this, this links directly with Being Peed On and I don't support it. Some girl you hardly know tells you who she likes and you happen to like him too but she said it first? Not good for making friends.
So...
Being Peed On: When a guy or a girl announces who they like so that others will back off...like a dog marking his territory. I have been peed on a few times, and have never been flattered.
That's all I can think of for now, but I wanted to put the Soda Theory out there for Mur since she asked.
Soda Pop Syndrome: When a girl likes a guy she becomes much like a can of soda. It is human instinct (or maybe just a girl thing) to desire to share a secret with at least one person. The secret builds up inside of you like carbonation in a soda and you're just shaking and feel like if you don't tell someone you're going to explode. (Which just made me think of a movie quote, big surprise there, "We're going to die, we're all going to die."*). I came up with this theory because I was having random girls who were not my BFFs tell me their crushes. I don't want to know this, this links directly with Being Peed On and I don't support it. Some girl you hardly know tells you who she likes and you happen to like him too but she said it first? Not good for making friends.
So...
Being Peed On: When a guy or a girl announces who they like so that others will back off...like a dog marking his territory. I have been peed on a few times, and have never been flattered.
That's all I can think of for now, but I wanted to put the Soda Theory out there for Mur since she asked.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
I coulda been a contender*
It's been a pretty rough month at work - at least from an HR perspective. So it's no surprise to me that I finally cracked. Well, actually, no matter how tough it gets I tend to keep a good perspective on things, it's rare that I let things get to me, though one or two days I had a bit of an attitude about it. Usually though when I crack it means that I fall into a laughing fit. In high school Algebra class we were talking about ellipsis and I started to laugh, I couldn't help it, the darn thing looks like a funky smiley face...like on the lemonhead box. Yeah, lost points with the teacher that day, though she was a tough one not lose points with.
Anyway, point being, I have developed a new theory. It's been a while I know. For those of you who don't know we have the Buddy Syndrome, The Soda Pop Theory to name a few. I honestly can't recall right now, but I like to come up with these and haven't been coming up with them as of late. So here we go. Introducing The Silver Lining Syndrome. It's pretty simple, if you didn't laugh you would cry. We've all probably heard that before, and you must remember my theories and syndromes are things that are already naturally occurring.
So here's the background. You know a lot of famous people have bit the dust in the last month (more the last week but I am adjusting it for my purposes). So coworker behind me is saying how another one has died and a thought pops into my head. I instantly start laughing but decide not to share it. She eggs me on to share it so I stand up to tell her, but I keep laughing. Finally I say, "They're almost going as fast as they are here." Meaning the celebrities are dying off about as fast as people are quitting here. She says I'm terrible but is laughing. So I keep laughing and I am sitting here, laughing and crying (cause I'm laughing so hard). Coworker asks why we are laughing at something so terrible and I say, "It's the silver lining syndrome". When you have to find the good in the situation.
Anyway, point being, I have developed a new theory. It's been a while I know. For those of you who don't know we have the Buddy Syndrome, The Soda Pop Theory to name a few. I honestly can't recall right now, but I like to come up with these and haven't been coming up with them as of late. So here we go. Introducing The Silver Lining Syndrome. It's pretty simple, if you didn't laugh you would cry. We've all probably heard that before, and you must remember my theories and syndromes are things that are already naturally occurring.
So here's the background. You know a lot of famous people have bit the dust in the last month (more the last week but I am adjusting it for my purposes). So coworker behind me is saying how another one has died and a thought pops into my head. I instantly start laughing but decide not to share it. She eggs me on to share it so I stand up to tell her, but I keep laughing. Finally I say, "They're almost going as fast as they are here." Meaning the celebrities are dying off about as fast as people are quitting here. She says I'm terrible but is laughing. So I keep laughing and I am sitting here, laughing and crying (cause I'm laughing so hard). Coworker asks why we are laughing at something so terrible and I say, "It's the silver lining syndrome". When you have to find the good in the situation.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
