Casual Fridays

I'm in HR (Human Resources) so I am used to a barrage of questions when something is announced, changes, or goes haywire. I'm used to 7 guys stopping by my desk in a twenty minute period to inform me that one of the toilets in the men's bathroom won't stop flushing. I'm used to people asking me if I know the deep dark secrets of the company, like when to expect bonuses, what to anticipate at the open enrollment meetings, and where the large Styrofoam cups are stored away.

This week it has been someone else's turn. Someone not even in the department, but because we are sans HR Manager at this point in time there are three of us who are trying to fill the void. With that being said, all e-mails that are to be sent out to the company go through this one particular person, let's call her 'J', for the time being. Earlier this week J sent out an e-mail about the parking lot being cordoned off and received not just a question, but a complaint about it while trying to use the restroom. I'm sorry people, but there is a time and place, a season for all things, and the time/place/season to complain that you can't park in the exact same spot that you always park in is not while you are in the restroom believe it or not. I know...shocker. But I am here to help, kind of like I'm here to inform you that your cleavage isn't a pocket or wallet (sorry if I offend anyone...but really people).

Whoa, I have a bad habit of digression. So today's e-mail was about casual Friday. At the beginning of the year we were on a trial basis, for the first quarter we would be allowed to have casual Fridays and go from there. Seeing as how the first quarter has ended the e-mail was sent out stating that Casual Fridays would be permanent. I read the first line and moved on. All I needed to know was that Fridays were still going to be my favorite day. It had the regular dress code attached (which states that jeans are inappropriate, but that's our regular dress code)

14 minutes later a second e-mail pops into my inbox. It simply says, "I apologize for the confusion - you will be allowed to wear jeans on Fridays for Casual Day."

"Okay." I thought to myself. Then 9 minutes later another e-mail comes, "It will be considered the policy that "Casual Fridays" will enable you to be able to wear jeans and tennis shoes. We are making this a continuation of the Friday - Jeans Day that you have enjoyed over the last quarter."

Translation: You can wear jeans and tennis shoes on Fridays, all Fridays, from this moment on until the policy is changed sometime in the unforeseeable future. This isn't hard people, it's what you have done for the past three months. This isn't something new, it's just now morphing from a temporary condition to a permanent one. If one more person calls or e-mails I will punch their face in."

It's a rough translation, but one nonetheless. So I chuckle to myself and say a little prayer of thanks that no one has bothered to contact HR about the situation and I hit reply on the e-mail and say, "Are you getting a lot of questions about this?" With a smiley face (cause smiley faces are e-mail etiquette so that people know you are smiling in real life). J writes back, "I could hurl myself off of a bridge right now."

Then she starts to tell me the horror stories. From the time she sent the first e-mail to the time she was talking to me she must have receive 30 phone calls and e-mails just "making sure" they could wear jeans on Fridays. One in particular would be my favorite "headache" of the day. One particular gentleman called her up and asked if he could wear tennis shoes on Fridays. She took a deep breath and said, "What did my e-mail say?"
MM* - It said we could, but the first e-mail sounded like we couldn't and I didn't want to come to work with tennis shoes on and get sent home.
J - What did my last e-mail say?
MM - That we could wear tennis shoes and sneakers.
J - So what's the problem?
MM - Nothing, just making sure.

It may not be word for word, I heard it from the source, but like it would be in a story you tell your friends, and then of course I can't remember word for word so things are lost in translation. Kind of flustered my heart a little. Luckily for J she has a half day and is now many blissful miles away.

But another good e-mail came while she was telling me the story. The subject line is "E-mail to clarify the email that was to clarify the casual day policy" and the body of the e-mail is simply, "Since figuring out if you should wear jeans or not is too overwhelming I hereby cancel casual Fridays." It's good to know that there are intelligent, as well as funny, individuals in the office today.

Names have been change to protect the innocent as well as those who are ignorant.
*MM - Mystery Man