You. Are my density.

Tuesday nights at Home Team Grill at the corner of Main and Vine they offer ½ off burgers. This is similar and yet so much better than the $1 burgers offered at Capital Ale House on Monday nights. See the problem with the burgers at Capital Ale house is you get what you pay for, whereas with Home Team Grill it’s you get what you would have paid for on any other night, but for ½ off. Capital Ale also makes you order a drink (they’re hoping alcoholic) and then they suck out all the flavorful goodness that a burger should be. I’m one of those weird people who like to eat their burgers plain, we’re talking bun and burger no additives. I find that if a burger is good then I am not missing out on a whole lot, but rather enjoying the perfection of some short order cook in the back. The burger I had at Capital Ale needed something…my guess was flavor, but whatever. I wanted to grab the salt shaker and go to town, but rather I opted for the ketchup bottle, and even then, it just wasn’t good. I ended up having a $6 tab (which isn’t bad, but when you go for $1 burger night you don’t expect a $6 tab) and the burger was just empty calories if you ask me, no amount of enjoyment derived from it. At Home Team Grill I get a plain burger as well, and the fries come with (did I not mention that the fries are a separate purchase at C.A.H.) and I can drink water if it is what I darn well please to drink and it is what I please to drink. These burgers are divinity on a bun, they are the reason I crave hamburgers at random times, day or night.

Side Note: For those of you who don’t know I spent most of my life avoiding hamburgers from any establishment. The cause is unknown, the only thing I do know is that I never had a desire to order a hamburger from anywhere. In fact, I avoided it at all cost. This is a recent development of mine that came about due to necessity I’m sure, I just can’t remember the necessity.

So last night a group of us went to Home Team Grill for the half off burgers. I had invited Orin and Jordan to come along but they were slow movers and I had assumed that they were not coming. But then I got a call from Jordan (after we had ordered) that they would be joining us (I know that in this moment this doesn’t seem pivotal to the story, and really, it’s not – but it makes the story flow better when I try to be as honest and direct as possible). So they got there after our food had arrived (they were down the street what took so long? But anyway). We pulled up a table and then waited for the waitress to come back over. Orin was asking what she looked like so we could get her attention, but there were so many and well, they all looked the same to me when they came out separately. She finally comes up to take their drink orders and when she left Orin made a comment that she was beautiful. Which made me laugh because he has mentioned before how he feel in love with a waitress and it seems to be a regular occurrence for him to fall in love with girls who serve him food…I just can’t put my finger on the why of it all, hmmm.

So I start to encourage him to say something to her. He says he just gets nervous and shuts down. Then we had a check for her that was left on the table we pulled over so I had it under the ketchup bottle so it wouldn’t blow away (p.s. we were sitting outside) and she came over and Jordan grabbed it and handed it to her and she was grateful and left. I brought Jordan in close (and Orin, he needed to hear this too), I told Jordan that he could not be the waitresses hero, it would have been better had he conferred with the group before handing her the check because what should have happened is that it should have been handed to Orin and he could have been the hero of the evening. These boys need all the help they can get from me. So the night goes on, every time the waitress (Marie) comes over I shot a glance at Orin and he would make a face that would suggest his love for our waitress was more than he could bear. Then, it was as if fate had given us another opportunity for Orin to be the hero. There was another check on the ground, must have blown off one of the tables. Orin picks it up and when she comes back over he tells her this was on the ground, and I’m guessing the tip was good because Orin said, “He really loved you.” She laughed (good job Orin) and then she was trying to remember which customer it was and mentioned that if she hadn’t been working…trail off, and Orin says, “I love you too.” But in a non-creepy way, trust me I was there. It was just the perfect timing. I was so proud of him. Unfortunately Orin doesn’t believe in asking out waitresses, so he did not. But we did establish that he will come and stand outside of the restaurant whenever she is working, rain or shine and just stare in through the window. I told him that he couldn’t ruin this for me, Home Team Grill is the best thing that ever happened to me, ½ off burgers on the one night that I am already downtown for a class, which happens to have plenty of people I love to hang out with after class, and like I said before, you get what you would have gotten had you paid full price. Amazing. That and Jordan and Orin are always fun company and anyone who is reading this who has hung out with them…you know exactly what I’m talking about. I think the phrase is “they had me in stitches”.

But they weren't the only ones there, I feel rude not shouting out to Bryan, Kelli, and Caitlin! Without whom I wouldn't have had the rant on the over empowerment of the government (not as serious as it sounds, but seriously ridiculous) we were talking about dumb laws, because laws are usually there because someone did it and we feel the need to regulate it right? Well...why in the world is it a state or town's business if you want to carry an ice cream cone in your back pocket on a Sunday (seriously Georgia? You want to enact that law?) I just got confused as to when it became important to mandate common sense. So anyway, we were having a good time talking about what we thought was a law, that you couldn't cross the state line with a chicken on your head. I tried to imagine why that would be illegal, I think I would need to know the why to be a law abiding citizen, let's face it, I'm not up for blindly following politicians. Can the chicken cross the state line with you? Just not on your head? Can you just not have a live chicken on your head at the time of crossing? Can said chicken be on your head before and after crossing the state line?? Oh my goodness, I could devote a whole post to dumb laws so I will be shutting up now. Thanks you and good night.