Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.*

I don't normally stand on a soap box...you guys know this. But today is a soap box day.

The other night at institute we talked about defending the family...at least that's what I think it was about. We divided up into three groups and read three different speeches from the World Congress of Families (who knew?). Our talk was about defending the family, how children are our only hope for the future, how we need children just as much as they need us. One part stood out to me, he said, "Spiritually, we need children as much as they need us. They are our spiritual wealth. Children teach us the joy of building goodness that will outlive our own. They teach us the joy of loving someone more than self." (A link to the talk can be found at the bottom of the entry).

There was a girl in our group who thought a little differently than most of us (that's a nice way to put it) and she was saying how some people aren't cut out to be parent's, and I agree, there are some people who should never have children...but those people tend to have children anyway. The group began to talk about people taking lightly the decision to not have children. The girl said that it was good that they realized that they shouldn't have children.

My response to her was that we are unaware of our own capabilities. I said that it was like when you find someone and you fall in love with them, you had no idea you were capable of loving someone so much more than yourself, of sacrificing things for that person because you want them to be happy. It is the same with children (I'm guessing since I don't have any) that when you have them you had no idea you could love them so much, you had no idea of what sacrifices you would be willing to make for them. She agreed with me on that at least, but I don't think it lasted long.

I think people give too much thought to being ready. Being ready is overrated. Readiness, in most cases, is simply a lack of fear. Once you stop being afraid to do something you are ready to do it. It's like having to get up in front of a large group of people, do you ever feel ready (and I'm talking normal people who have fears of talking in front of people, not people who just love getting up in front of others)? I know that I never do. I get through it, but I was never really ready. I'll read over my material days in advance, making adjustments and getting the timing right. Still, the morning of my stomach is all jittery and I feel like I am going to pass out, even while I am talking I am so tense my kidneys feel like they will explode, and as I sit there about to stand and talk, I make changes. I am never ready for that stuff, I never feel capable...but I do it.

Life is all about progression - otherwise why are we here? We are not born "cut out" for walking, anyone who has seen a new born knows this. I mean, look at a newborn baby - really? But they progress to that stage, they progress to being able to eat solid foods, to talking, to potty training, reading and writing, controlling their emotions, driving, cooking, running, tying their own shoes, some progress to learning a foreign language, playing the piano, gymnastics, singing, riding a bike, sports. They have so much potential...but what if they thought in their little baby minds when they were three weeks old, "You know, some babies are just not "cut out" for all of that, so maybe I should just never try." It's a good decision right? It was good of them to realize that they can't make it and to just never try...cause some people shouldn't progress. Right? Rather, there is that potential, and that support (and careful, I'm going to get religious) there are parent's who know that baby is capable of being more than flesh and bone lying on the floor as their bodies grow and age until one day, they will die, having settled for something far from what they could have been. It is just as we have a Heavenly Father who knows we are capable of so much more than we think we are, then we let ourselves settle to be.

It is a fear of failing. Of being like their unhappy parent's, or of not being able to buy their kid nice things, or offer them a full ride to college. A fear that they aren't cut out to be parent's, that somehow they will mess it up. So they justify it - they blame it on their "nature", they tell themselves it's better to not bring children into the world the way it is, they tell themselves that they are lowering their carbon footprint. But really, they are afraid to sacrifice, afraid to try.

They say that the best way to learn is to teach. If we never teach...then how can we get the most out of it? Personally I have to have a way of influencing the world more than the opportunity my job provides (which is averaging 0% right now). Children are our hope for the future, they are the best way to impact the world, to make it a better place.

Don't get me wrong, having children is your own decision, I can't, nor would I try to force someone to have children or anything like that. But I think that some people need a swift kick in the pants, cause they don't even realize the excuses they are buying into, the joys and opportunities for continued progression in their own lives that they are denying themselves. I may have upset some people so far with this entry, but this isn't a public forum, this is my blog, I have the freedom to express my opinions, and you are free to do so in the comments.

Anyway, some things that the girl said on Tuesday stuck with me like a bad taste in my mouth and I couldn't let it go, it's still on my mind (uh, obviously). All I can keep thinking is that we don't know what we are capable of, we have no idea our potential for anything in this life. I kept thinking how noble motherhood can be - even if it doesn't seem that way in the moment. You give up everything so that this little thing that can't even hold its own head up can be taken care of. You sacrifice for them for the next 20+ years because of love, they may use and abuse you at times, but you love them (unless you are a sociopath - in which case, maybe you shouldn't have children). So I found this little diddy earlier this morning and I had read it many times before, but it made me think back to Tuesday (probably because it still irks me). So after you read that I'll get off my soap box. Thanks for listening.

The One Flaw In Women

By the time the Lord made woman, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?"
And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart -and she will do everything with only two hands."
The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."
"But I won't," the Lord protested. “I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days."
The angel moved closer and touched the woman. “But you have made her so soft, Lord."
"She is soft," the Lord agreed, “but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.
The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate."
The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."
"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride."
The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."
And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies..They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE TINY FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

The Family: The Hope for the Future of Nations