Excuse me I think you're in my bath*

Just for an update. Bryan is on his way to Madagascar, he left yesterday and should get there tomorrow at some point. It's a long couple of days for him. As you can see from the map.

I was so kind as to draw from point A to point B. The little circle should be somewhere over Atlanta, Georgia and the big circle should probably cover Reunion, which is the island off of Madagascar that Bryan will be serving for the next...oh...21 months or so. It's really not that far, and it's really not that long...right?

Anyway. Not a whole lot is going on today. I've been pretty cranky the past few days, so my apologies to anyone who has gotten the bratty Jessica, you may not have even noticed because I tend to be a brat despite my mood. It's just who I am. Oh and the apology covers the next month (as in October), no specific reason, I just don't like to apologize a lot so I figure a blanket one before will save more trouble than one afterwards (at least people will recall that I was afraid this would happen).

Well - until the next time I have anything of interest to say.

I've been shot!*

So we are looking into providing flu shots to our employees at work. I'm not really involved in the process so I actually have no clue what the details are...however, I am the one in charge of the announcements on our intranet so I know that I will be posting an announcement about it sometime in the future. My question is - Is this picture too over the top?

Cause I love it. The pictures come out tiny anyways, maybe no one will even notice.

I should probably go for some cute drawing of a flu shot needle. Cause needles can be oh so cute.

Any closer and you'd be mom*

Martha tagged me...and when I am tagged I feel I must comply.

Here are the rules. List ten Honest things about myself and tag 10 other bloggers who I think are honest in their blogging.

1. I have a plethora of irrational fears. Roaches crawling in my ear, paper cuts to the eye, dry drowning, snakes and spiders teaming up against me in an open field on a moonless night. The list goes on and on.

2. I like to write. I used to write poems all the time but then realized I sucked at that (or was a very emotional teenager). I moved on to "novels" but never finished any, so I moved to short stories, but couldn't finish them when they were short. This past year I finally wrote a whole book to completion (200+ pages) and my sister, Joanna, liked it. I will probably never send it to even be considered for publication because of two things. I'm lazy and don't want to do the tons of paper work needed to be completed for a publisher to look at before they consider reading the story and two I have a huge fear of rejection. Oh, and three, should I ever get published I don't want Stephen King saying my writing sucks (the man can't even finish a story with the same gusto he started with...that's all I'm saying - he's still better than me, but, you know, don't get me into a storyline and teeter off at the end).

3. I'm not a good person. A lot of people have a perception of who I am and then they can only see me that way. People perceive me as a good person, but I'm not. I'm working on it, I'm trying to be better, but everyone has always thought of me more highly than I deserved.

4. I love music. I am always singing in my head if I don't have music playing. I sing along in the car, at home, while cleaning. But in church I'm quiet as can be, it's not the music - I'm tone deaf so I spare those around me from having to hear it. I also discovered that at times I sing several songs at the same time. Yesterday was Dancing Queen (ABBA) mix in with Beat It (MJ) and one other song that I can't remember. But it was weird because they seemed to go well together, I would be singing, "You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life" to the beat of Beat It. Then I would merge the lyrics...I don't know, I've had a lot of physical trauma the past few days...maybe it's a concussion.

5. I'm a hypochondriac. Even if I try my best not to act like one sometimes I take on symptoms people have talked about having. If it's warm in the room (or cold) and it's not supposed to be that way (i.e. working out, small abandoned church on a wintry night) I assume that I have a fever. Every headache could be a brain aneurysm, every time I forget a detail I have a tumor, if my arm hurts I'm going to have a heart attack. If I get a sharp pain anywhere in my abdomen my appendix is going to burst. It also goes to neurological disorders too, panic attacks, schizophrenia, hypochondria...that's right hypochondria...what if I'm not a hypochondriac but I just think I am? But in turn that sort of makes me a hypochondriac...it's a strange, vicious cycle.

6. I'm lazy. I vacuum the shower, I put wrinkled clothes in the dryer, I'll lay rather than sit if I can get away with it. I get down to eating pancakes for every meal before I go to the store. I'd rather stay home on a Friday night and veg to a movie then go hang out with people. I don't like planning things or being in charge of things. I'm a follower...but I don't really like to be told what to do. I would like to float neither telling others what to do nor being told what to do

7. I hate the phone. I'd rather do anything then use the phone! Online stuff has been amazing, but even then some things require the use of the phone and those things always get put off. For example, I took over utilities at our house when my roommate moved out...in May. I needed to call Woodfin and set up a schedule for them to come monthly - I just did that last week. It's for oil heat...I figured it could wait until it was cooler outside.

8. I don't eat chocolate...but I love the smell of chocolate. I love the smell of fresh chocolate chip cookies, or the way the mini Hershey bars on my desk smell when I first open the bag. I have come to the conclusion that should I ever eat chocolate again I will start with cookies and cream ice cream. I was just craving oreos the other day (more in a reminiscent way rather than actually desiring to eat one).

9. I am dating someone several years younger than me...several. He is on a two year mission for our church and is in Atlanta, GA waiting for his visa to go to Madagascar (french speaking). I don't like to talk about the age difference and one guy at basketball calls me the cougar (in a joking, loving way...and then I, in a joking and loving way kick or punch him). I have trouble telling people that I am dating someone, for several reasons: First, he is on his mission right now, two the age difference, three I'm not used to having "a boyfriend" so I feel weird saying it. Mostly it's the age difference...people judge. Doesn't mean I won't keep dating him, just nice to avoid judgement from friends.

10. On that note, I have no problem embarrassing myself or others in public, I do it on a regular basis. Especially if where we are just seems to call for and allow it. i.e. Wal-mart (which reminds me, Rub and I used to go up and down the Christmas toy aisle and turn on all the annoying little dancing Santas, Christmas trees, reindeers, elves, etc.) or...Field Day of the Past (a bunch of people I will never see again...and I'll leave it at that to play nice). I just like to have a good time. Related - I'd rather play the airhead than the stubborn, uptight individual. So I'm used to making myself look stupid to people.

Wow, that was liberating. Okay...10 honest bloggers: Joanna, Kathryn, Mur, Gretel, Amber, Sarie Lou , Natalie, Tiffani, Claire, Li'l P.

Well I know when I was held at gun point*

I almost died tonight. I would have to say that it was the closest that I have been to a "life threatening" experience. We had a roommate dinner, so the four of us were out to eat and we were talking about ugly babies (because we've all seen them) and my roommate said something really funny about how ugly babies grow out of it but children still have their stages. I had been taking a sip of water as she made a face to recreate her reaction when she saw her niece smile after getting teeth. It was hilarious, so funny that I could have spewed water out across the table at another roommate, but opted to try to wait until done laughing to swallow. That is until I ran out of air and need to take some in, but the water was there and I tried to swallow the water but my body wanted air at the same time. At first I thought it was the usual, embarrassing choking on the water thing, a little came out of my nose (yes, the very thing I was trying to avoid).

Well, I tried gasping for air but it wasn't getting the job done. I was getting little amounts and any moment now my body (or rather the lack of adequate oxygen) was going to make me pass out and take over, because being conscious I think I got in the way of "recovery". My roommate, Liz knows the Heimlich, but you don't do the Heimlich if they can breath at all...and my gasping for air constituted breathing. So I continued to gasp for air but barely got any in. I honestly thought I would die and guess what? Nothing flashed before my eyes, no thoughts ran through my head except that I wanted to breath like normal again. I wanted to tell Liz I couldn't breath, but I couldn't talk and I could breath, a little, about as much as you can when you have your palm pressed hard against your mouth (go ahead...try it).

I finally stood up, and that seemed to clear the way (though I am still coughing 2 hours later), amazing how easy it was right? Not to get biblical, but like the Children of Israel who just had to look to the serpent and be saved...I just had to stand up. Or you know, spew the water all over, or better yet, spit it back out into my cup and deal with it, at least I wouldn't have to gasp for air with everyone looking at me. It's the kind of attention I prefer to avoid, yes, I'm saying I'm more embarrassed then anything else. Probably because in the end I was okay...I should just be grateful right?

So, true to form I made jokes about it and my roommates were amazing about jumping right in. I told my roommates I will never drink in social situations again, it's just too dangerous (I also told Lisa she couldn't talk anymore, she's too funny). Liz joined in pretending to be me in a social situation where I was offered water and said, "I used to take more risks in my younger days, but it's too dangerous."

Then Lisa started to talk about how much she wanted chocolate or ice cream. I said we should get some, I mean, I almost died and Cold Stone was just next door. Anne was talking about how they have the birthday cups, maybe we could get a death cup. Just go tell the guy I almost died, see if I can get free ice cream out of it.

So we get our separate checks and Lisa asks us what 83 + 50 is and quicker than usual (cause I suck at what we like to call mental math) I said 133(whatever I'm getting cheese fries*). Then I mused on the fact that I answered so quickly. I decided that because I was so close to the "other side" my brain was opened and I became smarter. I mean something good has to come out of it right? And it's good to know I have a healthy sense of humor about death, particularly my own.

I'll probably dry drown in the middle of the night...another regular, irrational fear of mine.

Watches are a confidence trick invented by the Swiss. *

Several people I know have been in list making moods lately. Let's just saying it's contagious.

Things I like
-Candy Cane Hershey Kisses
-Psych (TV show)
-Laughing
-Making others laugh
-Sticking my hand out the window while I'm driving
-Staying in bed when it's snowing outside (doesn't happen often here)
-Taco Salad
-Books (the way they feel, smell, etc. and sometimes the insides are good too)
-Movies (mostly owning, but also watching them)
-Netflix - best thing that ever happened to me...well, on the list of best things, somewhere
-Holding hands (mostly just boys)
-Good conversations (intellectual, silly/funny, any kind as long as it's good)
-The way my nephews say my name
-Vacuums (seriously, they suck things up...like bugs)
-Institute class
-Getting letters
-Snickerdoodles
-Halloween
-School/office supplies
-5 o'clock
-Learning something new and having the light bulb moment
-Writing
-Playing basketball (mostly when I play with the boys and I give them a reason to compliment my playing)

Things I don't like
-Planning events
-Waiting in lines
-Getting stuck behind someone driving under the speed limit
-Spiders (includes their webs)
-Walking through a spider web
-Having to say 'no' to people
-The Twilight Movie
-Accidentally drinking sour milk
-Having someone yell at me (been a while)
-Dropping things I'm looking forward too (i.e. my dinner plate or bowl of cereal).
-Getting asked out on a date
-Needles
-Asking for help
-Boredom
-Having to pity laugh (you know, when the person is awkward but you know they are trying to be funny so you laugh).
-Waking up early
-Bossy people
-Shopping (with other people...sad I know, but most people are leisure shoppers and I prefer to speed up the process)
-Squirrels and all their shenanigans

That's kind of it, I was hoping it would kill more time...but I was wrong. Le sigh.

So strong, like Sodom and Gomorrah*

Saturday Elaina and I went to the Field Day of the Past (As you can tell by font size and bolding that was said in a big, booming voice).

Here is what I thought it would be. A small gathering of people interested in learning how to do cool things like...make wooden spoons, possibly candles too, you know, fun things from colonial times. I guess I thought this because, well, first because Elaina said we could make spoons, and so from there I ventured to assume because we were in Virginia that it would turn out to be something like that. If I had known the event was in Oilville, Virginia I may have assumed otherwise...if I had known we would not be making spoons I would have assumed otherwise.

So we get there, well, we get close to there and hit traffic. This event is more popular than I thought it would be. We pass the parking lot for horse trailers and something else...should have tipped me off but I'm still thinking we'll have a Williamsburgy adventure. Before we get to the entrance Elaina turns to me and says, "Oh yeah, my friend said that there might be a lot of rednecks here."

...that information would have been more useful to me yesterday!* So we are trapped, almost in a contract with the traffic flow. We enter the "parking lot" which is a green field of grass and we trudge on through. We find a spot and start walking through tall, stiff grass with grasshoppers flying at us like kamikaze pilots. We opt to walk because there is a huge line of people waiting to ride trailers to the entrance. We pay our $10 and we enter in. The first thing we see is what we think is a construction site, which I thought was odd that they would have one beyond the entrance to the event. As we get closer we see that there are benches set up to watch the construction vehicles. Then there are Mack Trucks lined up on the other side. Elaina and I wander around for some time and I get the distinct feeling that we paid $10 to spend more money within. We got some "country cooking" for lunch which really slowed us down for a while. In reality it was not that exciting...in retrospect we had a really good time.

It wasn't until the end that Elaina said, "We never even got to see the spoon making demonstration." Demonstration?? Yeah, I gave her a hard time about that one. She said we could make spoons and it was all farce! Anyway-Highlights:

*We got to use a hi-tech sanitation station

*I heckled a ventriloquist dummy.

See how he cries out in pain? His name is Victor. He ran away from home (the tent across the way). After a short conversation someone in the tent called me out on giving Victor (or Vicky*) a hard time so we moved on.

*We feed alpacas

*We were groupies to some 80 year old country singers, who called us out when we finally left. They were singing a song about a girl leaving to marry the best friend instead...maybe the wrong song to leave over. The one of the left said, "We lost them, there they go."

Sorry guys!

*Elaina had her first moonpie

That one was on Elaina's camera...

*And we saw a tractor pull (though we still don't get it)

We still don't really get it.

We'll leave out the mechanical bull, my mind is still scarred from that one. The best part was that just as I was ready to beg for mercy and get out of the place we realized we had walked around the whole thing and were back where we started, ready to begin our trek to the car.

You're gonna eat lightnin' and you're gonna crap thunder!*

Today I was reading up on some current events (as best as I can because I'm sure I mentioned before that I don't have the mind for that stuff). I read on Michelle Malkin how the soldiers were running 9.11 kilometers (5.5 miles) in remembrance of the troops who have died since 9/11. I thought to myself, "Self, I want to do something like that." So today, after work, I put on my running pants and my Old Navy shirt, tied up my sneakers and hit the track. I would like to say that I ran 5.5 miles straight through, because I would like to think that a sense of patriotism is enough to fuel the body and motivate it to work through the shooting pain in my left foot and the weak lungs gasping for air. I would like to think that it absolved my body's need for water and a little walking break every once in a while but it didn't. I did the 5.5 miles (9.11 kilometers) but I couldn't run the whole way through. I walked a lap. So...I ran 5.25 miles today, that's got to count for something. I walked the lap and then walked to and from the track and my house.

I can't believe that it's been 8 years. I still remember exactly where I was when I first heard what was happening. 2,000 miles away from home, sleeping on my friend's couch. I still get goosebumps whenever I think of watching the news that morning. Trying to wrap my mind around what was happening.

I remember the patriotism that swept across the country right afterwards. I googled some images cause I'm feeling patriotic...I have to say though, I was excited to see what Google had done to their name for the day (as they do with holidays and random days throughout the year) but on this day they had nothing. Kind of a let down. I'm feeling very patriotic today, which I feel is an appropriate way to feel on such a day. So bear with me as I post quotes and pictures, because honestly, I can't say things any better than they've already been said

“I can hear you. I can hear you. The rest of the world hears you. And the people who knocked these buildings down will hear all of us soon.”- President George W. Bush, September 14, 2001

"And tonight, the United States of America makes the following demands on the Taliban: Deliver to United States authorities all the leaders of al Qaeda who hide in your land. Release all foreign nationals, including American citizens, you have unjustly imprisoned. Protect foreign journalists, diplomats, and aid workers in your country. Close immediately and permanently every terrorist training camp in Afghanistan, and hand over every terrorist, and every person in their support structure, to appropriate authorities. Give the United States full access to terrorist training camps, so we can make sure they are no longer operating. These demands are not open to negotiation or discussion. The Taliban must act, and act immediately. They will hand over the terrorists, or they will share in their fate." - President George W. Bush, September 20, 2001

I remember listening to President Bush speak to the joint session of congress.

"On September the 11th, enemies of freedom committed an act of war against our country. Americans have known wars -- but for the past 136 years, they have been wars on foreign soil, except for one Sunday in 1941. Americans have known the casualties of war -- but not at the center of a great city on a peaceful morning. Americans have known surprise attacks -- but never before on thousands of civilians. All of this was brought upon us in a single day -- and night fell on a different world, a world where freedom itself is under attack."

"Great harm has been done to us. We have suffered great loss. And in our grief and anger we have found our mission and our moment. Freedom and fear are at war."

"Fellow citizens, we'll meet violence with patient justice -- assured of the rightness of our cause, and confident of the victories to come. In all that lies before us, may God grant us wisdom, and may He watch over the United States of America. "

Along with that these words came to mind (in song form of course)

"And I’m proud to be an American where as least I know I’m free. And I won’t forget the men who died, who gave that right to me. And I’d gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today. ‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land God bless the U.S.A."

And I am, I am proud to be an American.

Must be the last one of the season*

Fall is here! Fall is here!

Of course next week it could disappear but global warming my rear. This summer wasn't even bad. But Fall is here! The first day of school (of which I am not in) came and it was chill and rainy. I felt like I should be waiting at the bus stop with the kids I passed, though, with them standing around me I might finally realize how old I am.

Anyway, not the point. So Labor day a few friends and I met at the park to go to "Belize" (finally!). We had a picnic and watched as storm clouds came closer and closer, but whatever right? We went on a walk to find Belize (I swear we took a wrong turn somewhere) suddenly...there we were in Finland! So we took pictures in the Finnish doorways. I went to take a picture with Arianne in one of the doorways and suddenly I find myself walking through a spider's web...gag. So I spazz a little and back away, then I go back in for my spot in the doorway thinking I've already walked through the web what could possibly be left. I was wrong, it seemed to have folded in on itself and was twice as thick!!!! So what is a girl to do? ...I spazzed some more.

Then we felt a few raindrops and before we knew it rain was pouring down!! We were far from cover and Elaina and I ran to another doorway and tried our best to stay dry. In the picture below I have it confirmed that Elaina was mocking me...how rude*

It didn't matter through because the wind began to blow, which means sheets of rain just drizzled on us like it was chocolate and we were some confection. It was fantastic.

So realizing that there is no way to stay dry and not sensing an end to the downpour we headed to the cars (To the mattresses*) The best part to me and no one may have even noticed. But Katie asked a woman running past if she would take our picture. Now...first off we're in a down pour. Secondly - she's got what appears to be a wine glass in her hand, cause that's how she rolls. She didn't ever verbally respond, she just stared at Katie as though thinking, "First off we're in a downpour. Secondly, I've got to finish this drink." So we didn't all get in the picture, but here it is. Raindrops on the camera, clothes and hair soaked and if you look at the ground in the background you can see there was plenty of rain to be had by all.

Sad news of the day, I just went to the iTunes store and I think they raised their price per song to $1.29 that puts a damper on my life. Correction that would just be Michael Jackson songs and any covers of Michael Jackson songs.

Do you have any ointment or what not?*

I was chatting it up in an e-mail chain with a friend at work (I'll call him a friend even though we don't hang out or anything cause I think that you can have friends at work that you don't see outside of work)...anyway, so I was chatting it up with him. As usual the e-mails started asking a question about work and somehow ended with witty, sarcastic remarks flung back and forth.

In the course of this conversation he said, "Even a blind squirrel finds a nut from time to time." I wrote back that I had never heard this saying...nor have I ever heard of a blind squirrel (I think because their survival rate is pitiful, dismal, infinitesimal...I could go on but I think you get the point). I mean, if a squirrel with 20/20 can't make it on the mean rural and suburbian streets of America what kind of hope is there for a blind one?



...I know, I always talk about squirrels, I can't help it that they keep popping up every where (on my drive to work, in my neighbor's driveway as I am walking by, in my conversations at work).

If it weren't for that, I don't know if I'd have anything to talk about this morning.
I just found out that Obama wants to speak to the children the first day of school...make them write down goals and impressions and all that crap. Dude...it's the first day of school - they play getting to know you games, get their books, find their friends...they don't work!
Of course I have my other issues, but I'll keep those out of this. Let's keep it to the squirrels for now.