Any closer and you'd be mom*

Martha tagged me...and when I am tagged I feel I must comply.

Here are the rules. List ten Honest things about myself and tag 10 other bloggers who I think are honest in their blogging.

1. I have a plethora of irrational fears. Roaches crawling in my ear, paper cuts to the eye, dry drowning, snakes and spiders teaming up against me in an open field on a moonless night. The list goes on and on.

2. I like to write. I used to write poems all the time but then realized I sucked at that (or was a very emotional teenager). I moved on to "novels" but never finished any, so I moved to short stories, but couldn't finish them when they were short. This past year I finally wrote a whole book to completion (200+ pages) and my sister, Joanna, liked it. I will probably never send it to even be considered for publication because of two things. I'm lazy and don't want to do the tons of paper work needed to be completed for a publisher to look at before they consider reading the story and two I have a huge fear of rejection. Oh, and three, should I ever get published I don't want Stephen King saying my writing sucks (the man can't even finish a story with the same gusto he started with...that's all I'm saying - he's still better than me, but, you know, don't get me into a storyline and teeter off at the end).

3. I'm not a good person. A lot of people have a perception of who I am and then they can only see me that way. People perceive me as a good person, but I'm not. I'm working on it, I'm trying to be better, but everyone has always thought of me more highly than I deserved.

4. I love music. I am always singing in my head if I don't have music playing. I sing along in the car, at home, while cleaning. But in church I'm quiet as can be, it's not the music - I'm tone deaf so I spare those around me from having to hear it. I also discovered that at times I sing several songs at the same time. Yesterday was Dancing Queen (ABBA) mix in with Beat It (MJ) and one other song that I can't remember. But it was weird because they seemed to go well together, I would be singing, "You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life" to the beat of Beat It. Then I would merge the lyrics...I don't know, I've had a lot of physical trauma the past few days...maybe it's a concussion.

5. I'm a hypochondriac. Even if I try my best not to act like one sometimes I take on symptoms people have talked about having. If it's warm in the room (or cold) and it's not supposed to be that way (i.e. working out, small abandoned church on a wintry night) I assume that I have a fever. Every headache could be a brain aneurysm, every time I forget a detail I have a tumor, if my arm hurts I'm going to have a heart attack. If I get a sharp pain anywhere in my abdomen my appendix is going to burst. It also goes to neurological disorders too, panic attacks, schizophrenia, hypochondria...that's right hypochondria...what if I'm not a hypochondriac but I just think I am? But in turn that sort of makes me a hypochondriac...it's a strange, vicious cycle.

6. I'm lazy. I vacuum the shower, I put wrinkled clothes in the dryer, I'll lay rather than sit if I can get away with it. I get down to eating pancakes for every meal before I go to the store. I'd rather stay home on a Friday night and veg to a movie then go hang out with people. I don't like planning things or being in charge of things. I'm a follower...but I don't really like to be told what to do. I would like to float neither telling others what to do nor being told what to do

7. I hate the phone. I'd rather do anything then use the phone! Online stuff has been amazing, but even then some things require the use of the phone and those things always get put off. For example, I took over utilities at our house when my roommate moved out...in May. I needed to call Woodfin and set up a schedule for them to come monthly - I just did that last week. It's for oil heat...I figured it could wait until it was cooler outside.

8. I don't eat chocolate...but I love the smell of chocolate. I love the smell of fresh chocolate chip cookies, or the way the mini Hershey bars on my desk smell when I first open the bag. I have come to the conclusion that should I ever eat chocolate again I will start with cookies and cream ice cream. I was just craving oreos the other day (more in a reminiscent way rather than actually desiring to eat one).

9. I am dating someone several years younger than me...several. He is on a two year mission for our church and is in Atlanta, GA waiting for his visa to go to Madagascar (french speaking). I don't like to talk about the age difference and one guy at basketball calls me the cougar (in a joking, loving way...and then I, in a joking and loving way kick or punch him). I have trouble telling people that I am dating someone, for several reasons: First, he is on his mission right now, two the age difference, three I'm not used to having "a boyfriend" so I feel weird saying it. Mostly it's the age difference...people judge. Doesn't mean I won't keep dating him, just nice to avoid judgement from friends.

10. On that note, I have no problem embarrassing myself or others in public, I do it on a regular basis. Especially if where we are just seems to call for and allow it. i.e. Wal-mart (which reminds me, Rub and I used to go up and down the Christmas toy aisle and turn on all the annoying little dancing Santas, Christmas trees, reindeers, elves, etc.) or...Field Day of the Past (a bunch of people I will never see again...and I'll leave it at that to play nice). I just like to have a good time. Related - I'd rather play the airhead than the stubborn, uptight individual. So I'm used to making myself look stupid to people.

Wow, that was liberating. Okay...10 honest bloggers: Joanna, Kathryn, Mur, Gretel, Amber, Sarie Lou , Natalie, Tiffani, Claire, Li'l P.