Yes I know I’m ridiculous, but chances are it’s the reason you love me.

Late Friday night I was sitting on my bed when something scampering across the floor caught my eye. It was a spider the size of a nickel (not the biggest I’ve ever run in to, but the biggest I’ve seen on the move and in my bedroom!) I immediately grabbed a cup and went after it, but the little bugger was rather swift and kept dodging the cup. If I had shoes on I would have just jump at it, but as was I was barefoot. Each time it moved I screamed so my roommate came to see what the matter was and I asked her to bring the Raid. We keep a bottle of high powered Raid in the house because when we first moved in we had quite a roach problem (gag), we have since found that the Raid is fast acting on ants, crickets, and now we were going to test spiders. Emily came down with the raid and sprayed the spider a few times, when we felt it was dead I moved in with the cup and he was still moving! What the heck? He must have been a spider roach hybrid. I quickly put the cup over him and it still sits there because it could take days for that little guy to die.

Then last night I went to let Chubbers outside for a while and when we came back in I sat down on the couch (the one in my room) and Chubbers wouldn’t jump up to his side, he just stared at the cushion (which isn’t that odd, my dog is “special”). Finally I asked him why he wouldn’t come up and that’s when I noticed out of the corner of my eye a spider that was slightly bigger than the one last night and he was ugly! He was about two inches from my shoulder so I jumped up quickly and yelled at Chubber’s for not saying something sooner, or attempting to eat it, this dog is useless to me when it comes to arachnid assailants. I quickly ran upstairs for the Raid and came back to thankfully find the spider in the same spot. I moved the pillows and my purse and then I just let the guy have it. For some reason when I spray things with the Raid they end up running towards me, so I freak out more and keep spraying. It took a while for him to die though and my room had the creepy sweet smell of Raid. I scoped him into an old glass candle and lit the sucker on fire, because you can never be too sure with these spider-roach hybrids. Luckily the couch has a “cover” (a bed sheet) on it, so I took that off and put it in the wash right away.

New irrational fear….spiders crawling into my ear (kind of like my irrational fear of roaches doing that, but now I’ve moved on to creepy, creepy spiders). I have to wonder, if the Raid is strong enough to kill roaches and roaches never die…what does that mean it would do to us? I mean, a roach could probably survive a nuclear holocaust, but for some reason some high powered raid is going to do the trick and not be lethal to me?? Granted if I drank it I would die, but I sure use a lot of that stuff when a spider or a roach attempts to give me the heebie jeebies. Chances are I’ve inhaled half a canister…I’m probably a mutant now. I wonder if that will be cool like I get some cool power or if it will suck because the only thing that’s going to happen is that I’ll be more prone to colds and my left ear will be bigger than my right, because speaking of irrational fears being unsymmetrical in such an obvious way probably makes the list.

This is all probably karma because I gave my sister a hard time about the mouse in her house (just hours before the first hybrid sighting). That’ll teach me.