Happy Election Day

I woke up an hour earlier than usual so that I could get ready to stand in line. The reason I didn’t go at 5:30 in the a.m. is because I didn’t actually believe in the voting surge, at least not at my poll place, but since I was supposed to vote over by my parent’s house rather than mine I woke up early to ensure time to get there before work, as well as to stand in the line that truly mattered, the line at Krispee Kreme.

My boss and I had already discussed it Monday night. We both planned to be late, but wanted each other to know why. She said if she was late it would be because she was standing in the voting line and I told her that if I were late it was because as soon as I voted I would be headed over to Krispee Kreme to get my free presidential doughnut (Priorities, priorities, priorities). You see, it didn’t matter that last night during the Red Skins’ game halftime that Obama said, “Whether you vote for McCain or I, just get out and vote.” Or that Facebook has been telling me to vote or that the church has been reminding me how important this election is. All it took to ensure my vote was this…

So I arrive to my polling destination at 7:35 (keep in mind this is usually when I get up in the morning). I get out of my car, am approached by a friendly, older man who hands me a piece of paper. The man looks republican (because you can tell with some people) and I glanced at the paper and it looked republican too. I smiled and thanked him and he directed me to the proper entrance. I walk in and another person smiles at me and tells me to go to the table with the first letter of my last name. I step up to table A-J and tell them my last name while handing them my ID. They say, “What’s your address” and I told them and then also said that I had recently changed my address. Lady on the Left says to Lady on the Right they have to be the same, Lady on the Right looks at her and says, “No they don’t, she’s got her ID, she knows both addresses, etc. etc. etc.” (Note: she didn’t actually say “etc.”). They hand me my information, but it doesn’t seem to set well with Lady on the Left so I stand there for a moment waiting for the okay. Finally I got it. I went to the machine, cast my ballot, and got my sticker so I could get my free Election Day doughnut.

I learned a lot today about waiting in lines and the order of things. I learned how I have been doing some things wrong even though I felt certain I was the one who was right. It’s interesting to see the truth after pride has blinded you for so long, and I feel like I will never be the same again. Of course, I’m talking about the parking lot traffic at Krispee Kreme here. The nation expected the lines to be heavy at the polling places, but I didn’t have a line at mine. It took me a good 20 minutes to get through traffic to the other side of town, past the office building, through the woods, and not over the river to get my doughnut. I mean, since I hadn’t had a line to vote I had 35 to 45 minutes to get a doughnut and what more could you want on a rainy Tuesday morning?

I get to the one and only Krispee Kreme in the area and I pull into what I thought was the line. No one will let me in but it’s not like I’m trying to but, I’ll wait my turn. As I am sitting there a car pulls further into line and she points ahead of her, I look, but don’t know what she is pointing at. She does it again and I realize that she wants me to use this lane that I have never before noticed and go around the building….around to the line. Embarrassed, humbled, and grateful, I pass her and give her a wave. I had never noticed that lane, I had always assumed we could join the drive thru line that way. In fact my sister and I had been there about a month ago to pick up some doughnuts for the family and we got mad at a mini van who hadn’t been there who cut us off and took our spot. I bet if she had been there with me this morning she would have been just as embarrassed.

I parked and went inside because I could no longer handle the stress of the drive thru. I stood in line, heard person after person ask for the presidential doughnut along with their order and saw them get a little plastic bag with one. Butterflies were building; I was so excited for the star shaped, iced goodness of the Presidential doughnut. I place my order, I knew that I wanted a pumpkin spice doughnut ever since I had been snubbed a month before, forced to order a box of regular glazed rather than half and half. I took back the power and ordered a box of half regular and half pumpkin spice. I’m not going to eat all of those but it was the principle of the matter! I proudly wore my “I voted in Henrico County” sticker and didn’t even have to ask; the lady filled my order and then grabbed a small plastic bag for my long awaited presidential doughnut. I beamed on the inside as she handed me the box and then…then I looked down. It was a chocolate glazed, fall harvesty sprinkle covered doughnut. What a disappointment, what a waste, I won’t even eat it because of the chocolate. Could they really be out of the stars at 8:25 in the morning? Or could they just not bring their A-game and make them? So many unanswered questions, but it will be one of the first I ask when I get to heaven.
I paid for the doughnuts and walked out to my car, but more in a depressed Charlie Brown way, the way George Michael Bluth walked once in Arrested Development. I could hear the music playing in the background and I think I saw a snoopy dog house in the distance (goodness I love that show).

Despite this early disappointment I took comfort in the fact that at least I had within my grasp a pumpkin harvest doughnut, if that’s possible then there is still hope for my candidate to win.

If you’re a voting America I hope your election day went slightly better than mine. But if not, and if you have a Krispee Kreme, at least go get a free doughnut. If you're not a voting American or not even in America then...you know, whatever. You're still cool.