I'm Having Fish Tonight!*

Yesterday flew by so quickly that this morning I thought it was Wednesday. Much to my dismay I quickly realized that Tuesday had never happened because today is Tuesday. Breaks my heart. In addition to that, today is dragging by like a man who recently had both his legs amputated.

I have discovered that I am a real hypochondriac. I had always just assumed I was a pretend hypochondriac...more what I like to call a hypochondriac-hypochondriac (a hot pocket hot pocket?** (15 points since that one isn't from a movie). You know the person who isn't actually a hypochondriac but they act like one? I guess in a way, that can't really exist huh? Thinking about it makes me head feel like it will explode. (Yes I am aware that I sounded like a leprechaun there).

My sisters' bodies are malfunctioning, therefore we have all been pulled into a quest to diagnose them. Well, there are three of us working on it and two of them are the ones with issues so I suppose that in our own little ways we are all up for self diagnosing. So Sister A sends an e-mail telling Sister B to take a thyroid quiz. So Sister C (that's me) took the quiz too. (Of course we can't forget Sister D, but she knows what ails her...a little alien baby growing inside of her.) This quiz was not set up right. First of all - define "hungry all the time" because yes, I would consider myself hungry all the time, would a doctor? Probably not. Then as if that weren't enough, it seemed designed to torment a hypochondriac, after each question it would say either "Yes, that is a risk or symptom of hypo-hyper thyroid something or other" (very medical sounding) or it would say "The answer should have been 'yes' for it to be a risk/symptom blah, blah." Well, so of course, true to the American education system, I felt as though I failed the test. 54% of my answers should have been 'yes' but they were not. It's like eye exams:

DocOcular: Which one is better, 1 or 2...2 or 1.
Me: Uh...well...which one should be better?
DocOcular: It's all up to you.
Me: 1?
DocOcular: *slight silence*
Me: *Feeling like I answered the question wrong.* Did I do okay?

There is no wrong or right and yet I am left feeling that way. So anyway, my point being, there were risks/symptoms that I said 'no' to because I didn't have them. By the way I said 'yes' to always feeling hungry...it was the truth.

That night as I lay sleeping my mind recalled the quiz and my body decided to emulate the risks/symptoms that I had overlooked. I woke up, unable to swallow (a risk/symptom is 'difficulty swallowing') I coughed and gasped for air and as the beams of the 2:00 a.m. moonlight cast shadows on my wall I thought, "I must have hypo/hyper thyroidism." And then...a brief moment of clarity when the brain cloud* dispersed I realized I don't have that, what I suffer from is hypochondria and nothing more. But my throat still hurts when I swallow.

Anyway, this leads me to this afternoon, Boss Lady comes over and tells me she went to Patient First because her eye was bothering her...pink eye!! My ocular nemesis! So...whose eye do you think stings and itches and is feeling quite pink? That's right...Mine! I probably have it too, because this morning, long before I knew of Boss Lady's ailment, I was paranoid that I might have it. But then again, what morning am I not paranoid that I have contracted pink eye? My medical life is a little complicated right now.