Wednesday, June 23, 2010

I know you can be overwhelmed and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?*

It's that time again, for one of my weird little theories. This one is called...

The Fish and the Amoeba (as pertaining to boys)
This theory is not to be confused with the Steak Fry Hierarchy of 2007 (If needed I can revisit this as I don't believe I ever blogged about it) in fact, they have no correlation what-so-ever.

Imagine with me if you will that you are swimming in a sea of fishes.

Creepy and yet freaking adorable.

There many different types of fishes, big ones, little ones, colorful or dull. Plenty of fishes for you to choose from (are you following what I am really getting at?). Each fish, when it first comes into the pond has immeasurable potential. They are all so clean and lovely. However, each fish runs the risk of running into an amoeba. These tiny, microscopic creatures can latch on to a fish, a wonderful, beautiful fish and slowly begin to change it's very composition until it somehow shakes off the amoeba or worse...becomes an amoeba infested fish.

Let's talk about this. I am going to assume that this situation can be considered global, but it may be confined to the Chippenham Ward in Richmond, VA.

A new guy moves in. He's cute, average height, seemed pretty mature and intelligent when you spoke to him in the hallway. The prospect of there being a guy in the world who has a full time job, can speak intelligently, doesn't spend most of his free time drinking Mountain Dew and playing video games in his underwear causes butterflies to burst in your stomach. It will be refreshing to hang out with someone whose maturity level is above that of a thirteen year old's.

Even if nothing romantic happens with this guy, say you end up just being friends, it is still refreshing, still nice to be around a guy who seems to have his priorities straight. There's one problem though. You both swim in the same sea with all the other fishes. Other fishes that are covered in amoebas! (Please read the next part faster and more panicked, it's fun that way) Your new, shiny fish suddenly comes in contact with that fish that's been in your sea for over two years! The one who would rather watch a sporting event then go on a date! As you watch in horror, amoebas are jumping from one fish to another. You want to stop it, but nothing seems to work! You remind them that you are floating there, that you are a lady fish, but they laugh and keep talking and before long you see your shiny fish covered in amoebas of all shapes and sizes!!

When one fish swims to close to another he gets this funk of him. No one's fault, it just happens. But the two fish are somehow connected and they begin to act the same way whenever they are around each other. The amoebas bring out the worst in the fish. Savvy?

Actually, I have no idea if that makes any sense.


C$ said...

I love the post. It is the truth.

C$ said...

10 Things I Hate About You!!

Sarah said...

10 things I hate about you! LOVE That movie :)

Katie H said...

*10 things I hate about you.

One of the all time best.

Lady Em said...

It makes perfect sense...the lack of clean, fresh man-fishes is why I lost my enthusiasm for the singles ward...

Elaina said...

i don't know about this.

who is to say which is the amoeba?

and one girl's catfish is another's salmon.

i think the most important thing to remember is to not throw the baby out with the bathwater.

if you know what i mean.


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