Wednesday, June 23, 2010

To live would be an awfully big adventure.*

Prepare to be shocked and amazed.

Today, against my better judgement, I decided to go out to eat for lunch. Every once in a while my coworker asks, "What are you doing for lunch?" Today, she asked as I was finishing my cheese stick I brought with me (having already munched my pretzels into oblivion). It's one of those times in a woman's month where every morsel of food seems to offer a certain level of comfort, the very thought of it warms your insides and chases the pain away.

After taking a moment to think about how much I shouldn't go out to eat, I said, "Nothing, I'm doing nothing. What did you have in mind?" Suddenly I found myself overwhelmed with the desire to eat something that was hot, or at least warm. Something that screamed, "unhealthy!" like fried mozzarella sticks or french fries.
I got my wish. We went to Ruby Tuesdays and I decided to get a burger, it turns out that at Ruby's they have "endless" fries, akin to Red Robin's "bottomless" ones, except that for every time I go to Red Robin I always seem to find the bottom of that basket, and stare at it the remainder of the meal...which is fine because I actually don't like Red Robin's fries (and I know fries!). At Ruby's though, the waiter came up, saw that my "basket" (rather, porcelain fry container) was emptied and asked me if I would like more fries. "Yes." I said, "Thank you!" I loaded up on fries for two reasons. The first is the obvious one...uh, they are endless, why not? The second is that my burger was unsatisfactory. The blood soaked bottom half of the bun was what gave it away. I cut the burger in half to find that most of it was cooked though, but somehow the little edge still mooed. I ate half the burger and then couldn't stomach it anymore, I had visions of contracting mad cow's disease, which I envision is similar to rabies (at least with the foaming mouth) coupled with going cross-eyed and being unable to keep my tongue from wagging outside of my mouth. So fries it was, and fries it will never be again.
That's right folks. I feel horrible right now and I don't know if it is the pain that I subscribe to on a monthly basis or if it is the over consumption of fried potatoes cut into "shoe strings", or possibly a mixture of them both, but I am not digging this feeling. I am making a new goal for myself, and I think it really is for the best (so if my friends would be ever so supportive when they are nearby and I find myself face to face with temptation, I would appreciate it). I am giving up fries.

Shocked and amazed? You better be...this is big for me. (wow that rhymes, I feel like I need to make up a rap about giving up fries now...Oily death and lies - my little french fries...on second thought, I'll leave the rapping to others).


Sarah said...

oooh, that would be tough to give up fries. I can't give up stuff...I just have to not go out to eat to avoid it, but if I fail, then I don't beat myself up too bad. Red Robin fries are my kryptonite!

The Ottley's said...

THANKS D! Now gess what I'd like to eat? You guessed it (I'm so predictable)... fries!
Yummo! :)

Ash said...

So. This may be a long story, maybe not. But a couple of years ago I was at Red Robin's with some friends and we got the bottomless fries. I could not remember the word bottomless so I called them endless (now Keep in mind that I've never been to Ruby Tuesday). Everyone laughed at me and mocked me for saying "endless."

I feel like your story has redeemed me from the embarrassment of that night!

Thank you!

Martha said...

If you keep giving stuff up, there won't be anything left to eat.

I gave up fries once. I lasted 6 months.

Lady Em said...

Its probably best for your conscience that you leave the raping to others...if you leave the rapping to tothers then it would be better for US! =)

Sarah said...

Finding Never Land/Peter Pan
That sounds disgusting. I love fries, but only so many. I have done that too, eaten WAY to many, then you feel it for the next several hours.
Good luck with giving them up though. But if you can give up chocolate, you can give up fries. You've got this one in the porcelain fry container...

Vanessa said...

Good luck girl! I'd never be able to last without fries. They are such the comfort food. As are all types of potatoes. Mmmmm. I'm hungry now..


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