If I fake it, then I don't have it*

So for the past two weeks or so I have noticed something different about me physically. I have just been drained. Our last basketball game of the session I felt too tired to even play, but I kept going because I love basketball. I haven't really had it in me to continue my training for the 10k, but I have been running on the Wii in case I need to stop. A few days after the fatigue set in I got a sore throat, then a headache, and I trudged through that. I just didn't have time to rest. Just when I thought I was feeling better I came home last week and crashed on my bed, falling asleep instantly. Then I was feeling better, I played Frisbee (with labored breath), I started to run again. I was still exhausted but I attributed that to being so busy at work. I would come home exhausted and if you know me you know I hate naps (I mean, I'm sitting here blogging when I should be sleeping) but I would be begging for a nap, or to lay down. Then, aside from not sounding good I felt decent. Yesterday the sore throat came back, last night I started to feel sick after dinner but figured that it was because I ate too much. I was pretty emotional last night too, I'm embarrassed to admit because I don't like my emotions getting the better of me. I went to bed early, woke up around two, and then just cried (hard core) for an hour until I could fall asleep again. I was beginning to think I was depressed (where does depression hurt? Everywhere*).

Then this morning I could barely stand up while getting ready. I kept sitting down, crouching on the ground, going back to bed. I made it to work where everyone told me to just make a doctor's appointment. I called my old doctor and they asked if I was a current patient, I said 'yes'. She took my DOB and last name and said, "Come a little early, you'll need to fill out some paper work since it's been so long since you've been here." ...oops.

I go early and then I sit in the waiting room (makes you wonder if I would have waited the same amount of time had I just come on time). I sign two pieces of paper and then go to sit back down. I was freezing, I have no idea how everyone else felt, but I had goosebumps and was shivering even with my winter coat on. They took me to the back and weighed and measured my height. Then I went and sat in the examination room. My favorite person was Deborah (new BFF), we joked around about my health (the good stuff) and she filled out all the "paperwork". Then she left, forever and a day later the doctor comes in. She was about 14 - she looked like she was only two years older than my dermie. Why do all these people look so young?? I'm not that old!

She asked me a bunch of questions that I felt as though I had already answered. She checked my breathing, my ears, she pushed on my stomach and I tried not to laugh because I am very ticklish. Then she asked more questions and told me that it didn't sound like the flu, but maybe mono or strep. ?? You kidding me ?? I'm a hypochondriac - and I didn't even think of those. So part of me feels that my new doctor has hypochondria for her patients. So here's how it went from here, she turned to a computer and started ordering a bunch of lab work...all I could think was, "How much is this going to cost? I can tell you right now I just need antibiotics and sleep, just give me those!"

First - the swab test. Open wide, say 'ah', and here is where she thrust two swabs in and circles about super fast. I gag, wave my hands in the air like that's going to stop me from throwing up and then apologize. I asked if that happens often and she said that's why she stands to the side. That made me feel a little better. Then they took me to the lab for the *gulp* blood work. They set me up in the chair, I tell the lab technician that I will try to be brave and then I look away. It didn't really hurt, it was more just knowing that the needle was in there (and I hate having the tourniquet on my arm...ouch!) She has me hold the gauze up to my arm while she labels my blood and then my mouth starts to water, my tongue feels heavy, my head hurts.

"I think I'm going to throw up," I croak.
No words, just sounds of a trashcan skidding across the floor to land in front of me. I look down in to the tissues and paper towels of victims past and then I spit, hoping I was just over reacting. Then...it happened. I threw up. I had nothing to give, but I gave it. It was not a color I ever thought I would see come out of me, for a moment I wondered if I had swallowed neon yellow juice (no joke). The lady ask if I had eaten and I said 'no', I had told the doctor that I hadn't had an appetite all day and I felt like I was going to throw up. They asked if I felt okay to go to the examination room. The funny part was, I felt 80% better, I was about to tell them that I could just go home now, but I figured I'd better be sure there's nothing else wrong with me. As we are leaving I apologize to the technican for the trash can.

Side note: Best part, Karl, a security guard at work said a few weeks ago that we should donate blood together at the next blood drive, since we both have a fear of needles. I said, "Tell you what, the next time I get blood taken at the doctor's I'll see how I do and if it goes okay, then we'll do it!" Guess I have to tell him I can't do it. I am not throwing up at work!

I go to the room and the doctor comes and talks to me and she asks how I am feeling, "OK" I say. Then she tells me that because I threw up they weren't able to read the whole order and they didn't take enough blood. Yeah, she hadn't read the order before I came in and before she started to draw my blood. Yeah, make it seem like it's because I threw up...whatever. Oh and they also said, "They didn't know were felt like throwing up." Oh? That's what I thought I conveyed when I said I felt like vomiting and then said, "Sorry, I don't know a better way to say it." Don't blame the sick girl!

Anyway. So the doctor is talking and I start to get really hot all over, I had been freezing just moments before. I was trying to listen but felt like I would pass out so I said something. She had me lay down and kept talking, she says that the mono test came back negative, as did the strep, but since I could have had it for two weeks there were other mono tests that they had to do at an outside lab. That would take a few days, but go home today and call out tomorrow and they should have something on Friday. She leaves, Deborah comes in with a sandwich and a Coke. Not a Coke fan, but not about to tell the nurse and doctor that I don't want any. They said my blood sugar was probably low...so that's what that feels like.

I go back to give more blood and they recline me. I closed my eyes and tried not to focus on anything. The other lady said, "Oh wow, you're really pale!" I weakly smiled and said, "Um, thanks I guess." I don't know what to do, I don't know I'm pale, I've been in the doctor's office for TWO HOURS. The lady drawing the blood says, "You okay?" I said, "Are you done?" and she said yes and then I nodded and said, "Yeah, I'll be fine." She didn't even have me hold the gauze, she just taped.

So now I wait. It's probably nothing, though right now it feels like something. The good doctor gave me anti-nausea pills, so I took one just in case...and they make me a little drowsy, so I think I'm going to go nap.

Side note: Totally fell asleep before posting this, just woke up at 10:20 in time for my anti nausea meds...and boy do I need them :(.