Chippenham Singles of the Week

Our ward has a newsletter that goes out on Sunday nights. At the bottom of each newsletter are two "singles of the week" a male and a female. This past weekend the girl in charge informed me that she didn't have anyone so I said I would do it. Might as well get it over with right? It just reminds me of all those Sunday nights at Ward Stare (prayer) in college when they would have a spotlight.

You have three options when you "volunteer" to be the single of the week.

• You can write up a little paragraph about yourself and pick out a picture for the e-mail.
• You can send Christie a list of bullet points about yourself and she'll make it into a paragraph.
• Or you can leave everything to chance and see what she has to say about you, mostly coming from your facebook profile (including the picture).

I had every intention of writing my own paragraph, though I had no clue what to say (remember how I feel about tooting my own horn), but I had a meeting right after church and from there I went to my parent's and my phone was in my car. So I ended up leaving things to chance. And here's what we got:

"Jessica Donbrosky is from the area and left to get her degree in Criminology and Sociology from BYU-ID. She's back in Virginia and here to stay, hopefully. She currently works at James River Insurance in HR. Jessica is yet another girl ruined for real love by the Twilight series, specifically Edward Cullen, amongst other really good, fictional, characters. Jessica also loves to take pictures. The best way to get to know Jessica is to read her blog at http://sixthdonbro.blogspot.com/. First date ideas? I'm sure you can glean something from the blog."

So...yeah, people have a link to my blog. It's not that big of a deal because I've had a link on my Facebook page, but it made me worry because it looks like I want people to read my blog. Which I do, but I don't want people to think that I asked that link to go in there just to get more people to read it.

Also, I just want to point out that I'm not obsessed with the Twilight series. I've read it through once, and now I'm done. Yes, I will see the movie, but I'm no obsessed. Not that she said I was obsessed. She had it dead on that fictional characters have ruined me for real life romance, I mean, I think I've proved that myself. Other than that, tastefully done with the facts. I personally would have thrown in that I have to have an even number of dates by December 31st or I'll kill myself (I'm currently on an odd number)...you know, if it's a dating type thing might as well throw in my dating goals and aspirations. Anywho, I'm glad my turn is over.

It's the most wonderful time of the year

My annual review at work is coming up, and for that my boss has asked me to provide three accomplishments from the past year and two to three goals. I have two problems with this. First, I have trouble defining accomplishments because first everything in the past year was one (I had never done any of this stuff before) and secondly I’m not the kind of person who likes to toot my own horn (though I don’t understand that saying, if it’s your horn shouldn’t you be the only one tooting it?). My second problem with this assignment is that I’m a horrid goal maker. I don’t like to come up with them, and I have trouble accomplishing them. However, these two goals, if accomplished, will be the accomplishments for next years. This leads to the fact that I’d better set ones that can realistically be completed in the next 12 months.

I have two goals already in mind. One of which I would actually like to complete, and the other one I know that boss lady wants me to complete (which would be to get more into the interview process…such as *gulp* interviewing people). So when I worded that I said that I would like to begin to learn more about the interview process and then said begin being the operative word. Upon further discussion with boss lady she said that creativity of delivery helped, such as, if I wanted to deliver the information to her in a bottle. I asked if a mug would do because I have a mug, I don’t have a bottle. She said it would work, the more creative the more points (understand that points here work much the same as points on Whose Line Is It Anyway?
So with Boss Lady’s blessing I proceeded to get creative in my delivery of my accomplishments and goals. I got my friend to make me one of these.

You know, people used to put numbers on them and then put boys names in there so the number you picked in the end was your new boyfriend/husband/father of your children, or something like that. But instead I put my three accomplishments that she wanted me to give her and then on one tab my two goals for the next year. But just to be safe I e-mailed them to her too, saying first that I had more creative delivery. Then I went and put it on her desk.

Boss Lady was busy with meetings for most of the morning, but when she came back to her office I heard her laughing and then she called out that I had definitely gotten points. I walked in and she was playing with it. Then she asked if she had to open it to read everything and I told her I e-mailed it to her too. So it sat on her desk and will stand as a challenge for the next person with an annual review. Trying to beat me in the creativity field must be a challenge...of course I wouldn't know because I'm just naturally this cool...right?

I mean, let's not forget "Anatomy of Leader" from my leadership class in college. Best final project ever!

And 100% edible too.

An epiph-a-what?

I realized today that it's been a while since I've written. Probably because I'm not interesting anymore. Sorry.



But this weekend I went to North Carolina to visit my sister, Joanna and her two boys.

I took Friday off and drove down after work on Thursday night. As usual I had amazing time getting there (4 hours...pretty impressive). I'd like to thank my lead foot and relatively clear roads (mostly due to driving "after hours") for the chance I had to impress my sister. I would not like to thank the brain fart that caused me to take 264 West rather than East, but luckily it was a pretty easy fix and didn't hinder my amazing travel time.

On Friday I got to go with Joanna to pick Jacob up from school. It was cool seeing his school and his classroom and I loved seeing him with his little (big) book bag on. Then on Saturday we went to the park to play.

Yeah, I'm the cool Aunt that they can ride dinosaurs with. My sister tried to get him to say, "You're my favorite aunt," in German...but it came out as mumbles. But I knew what he meant and I knew he really meant it (sorry other Aunts...but I kind of rule).

The trip was very good and very much needed. I needed to get away from Richmond for a while, and from stories I heard Sunday night when I got home I needed to get away from the ward at church for that Sunday too. Oy vey (Or however you spell it). Anyway.

My dog is beginning to go through his terrible twos...leading me to decide to get him fixed. While in North Carolina I received reports that he head butted my roommate, got out of his kennel, chewed through the bungee cord, and then broke the bottom of his kennel. He's lucky I'm not placing an ad in the newspaper to find him a new home. Since then he's been a pain in my rear. I tried to fix his kennel by taking an old metal bar and putting it in the door, as shown below.

As you can see he's been coming out of the bottom, as you can also see the bar didn't have a chance. So he's been in his old cage which is MUCH smaller than his kennel, inside the shed while I'm at work. Then he sleeps in my room at night. Today I had an epiphany, why not take the extra piece from his cage and put it on the door of the kennel? As shown below...

Those bungees are just to ease my mind, the piece actually latches itself on quite well and he's been working on it now for a good half hour with absolutely no progress. However, he will be in his cage while I'm at institute, Houdini cannot be trusted.

It's no secret that all things nature hate me.


When I was in fourth or fifth grade I was sitting outside on the front porch of my piano teacher's house (my sister was inside doing her lesson). My teacher had a cat who came up to entice me to pet it, which of course I did because I loved cats. Suddenly the cat must have been rabid because out of no where it jumped on my head...not a problem except that the cat had not been declawed. To this day I don't know why the cat did it, but I also still think cats are flipping adorable (though I own a dog).

My first year at camp I got 7 ticks, with the 8th being found after I gave up and went home early (early being by about 9 hours...apparently I'm one of those quitters). I couldn't take having one more tick and since it was past midnight and my parent's were asleep so they couldn't remove it for me the proper way, I lit a match and endured the pain knowing that the blood sucker was in more pain.


My fourth year at camp I tripped on a rock, stumbled down the mountain side for a while before finally thudding on the ground, leading me to have a case of tendinitis later that year and a squishy sound when I bend my knee for the rest of my life (to this point in my life at least).


On a youth hike for church one year we went to a place with a waterfall. I went off on my own for a bit and went to jump on a rock that looked completely dry, turned out if was covered in a dark moss and I slipped smacking my back into the hard rock.

One summer I went to that big theme park in Ohio with some family and before lunch time I was burnt, I looked like a lobster I was so red (and of course it was a farmer's tan...great).


In college I was chased by a squirrel on more than one occasion. Once trapped inside my roommate's apartment, and once trapped in my own when I was already late for class.


My car spun 180 degrees, slamming me into a snow bank on I-15 after slipping on a spot of black ice. Yeah, I cried a little on that one. I'll stop here because I think you get the point.


So this morning shouldn't have surprised me, because this morning was no different than any other experience I've had with nature. Last night I let my little dog sleep in my room. He woke me up at 6:30 in the morning (annoying) and I let him outside in the backyard to do his business while my eyes stuck together every time I blinked. I heard an awful lot of quacking and looked up into the sky to see the geese practicing for their annual trip south. Behind me I hear a very distinct splatting sound and know without a doubt, even with my sleepy brain, that the geese were actually having target practice. I almost let my dog fend for himself and run back inside for cover, but he would never forgive me, so I yelled quietly at him to hurry up or stay outside. He came trotting over (because if you know my dog you know he actually wanted to be a horse and behaves as such).

Safely inside my warm room (because it's getting chilly here) I crawl back into bed and sleep for another hour. Yes...I know, I should have just stayed awake and done something productive but I am not a morning person, 7:30 is as early as it gets right now.

I wake up, take the dog outside, and get ready for the day. I get into my car, start the engine and prepare to drive to work when I look over to my right to see this.

That's right folks, the geese had gotten closer to me than I realized. This time it's personal.

Operation

Today I had surgery. Did I know this morning when I woke up that I would have surgery? Nope. I guess I should have but I've never been to a specialist doctor before, and I didn't know what to expect. The doctor my insurance company allowed me to go to (because they only allowed me to go to one specialist for this thing) was downtown. If you have ever been with me while downtown you know that I get lost there. I got lost in Idaho Falls for goodness sakes. I'm getting better at it, but probably better if I am walking rather than driving a weighty vehicle that could hurt someone or cause thousands of dollars of damage. I found the parking deck okay (they sent me directions) but at the same time by accident. The directions said to drive a block and a half after taking a right onto the street and that the parking deck would be on the right. I'm not good with city lingo but I have now concluded that "a block and a half" really means take the first and only left before you drive through the main entrance of the hospital. No one said anything about taking a left. But that's what I did and just as I began to panic that I would get lost on the downtown streets of Richmond I looked to my right and saw "Hospital and Visitor Parking" I didn't care whether or not that was the right parking, that was where I was going. I was a visitor.

I get out of my car and walk towards the stairs and follow the directions to the main floor. It thrust me out on the city streets and my directions said nothing about where to go beyond the parking! I couldn't believe they didn't say, "as you come out of the parking deck take a right and loop around the building to our offices." You give me a building name and office number?! Seriously? Luckily I left with plenty of time to find the place, and boy did I need it. So I began my on foot journey and walked towards the Medical School of Pharmacy...I was looking for the Medical School of Dentistry. I followed signs to the Medical School which took me left. I found a map with a red dot signifying I was here and found the building I was looking for, but the map is useless if you have no clue where "here" is! I didn't know if I was to turn around or walk two blocks in the direction I had been going. I figured I would keep going straight, take a left and come back around to where I had been. I took that left, and that left led me to a dead end. Luckily there were some workers standing around, not sure what they were doing but I came across three and saw about five others standing by the doors of the building. I sheepishly told them I had gotten turned around and needed to find the School of Dentistry. The man started to give me directions that backtracked me and the woman interrupted stating there was an easier way (now that I know I'm not quite sure it was, but I guess she did an quick estimate of my capability to get lost and thought turn wise this was the easiest, plus it would keep me around helpful people who could point me in the right direction.) So she's telling me where to go, "take the elevator to the fifth floor." "Take the elevator to the fifth floor," the man who began giving me directions repeats.

Lady: Then you want to follow the signs to the Gateway
Man: Follow the signs to the Gateway
Lady:You want to go past the food court
Man: Past the food court and past the gift shop
Lady: and take the escalator down (but didn't I just go up?)
Man: then take the escalator down
Lady: Take a right and walk up two blocks and it will be on your left
Man: Go through the doors on the right and it's on your left a few blocks up

I'm not even kidding that's seriously what happened and I began to wonder if the man was special needs or if he didn't like things to be taken away from him. He had started giving me directions and dog-gone-it he would finish. Pardon me for saying this if it sounds rude, but I felt like I was in a Baptist church during a prayer. You know, how sometimes people will repeat what the person given the prayer has said? Yeah, it was kind of like that. Nevertheless, I thanked them both graciously and tried to remember the directions. It wasn't hard since I had heard them twice.

I got to the bottom of the escalator though and panicked again, there were two doors, which one?! I saw the information desk and got more directions. I exit the building and start walking in the right direction and as I come up to the building I look over and there a sign says, "Hospital and Visitor Parking". Yes, it is the same deck. I turn around and see the Medical School of Pharmacy, I know that the building I came out of was the same building that held the stairwell to the parking deck, but because the way the parking deck is (a slight bridge takes you to the parking deck) there was no pedestrian exit on this street. The building was right across the street from the parking deck entrance. Well, at least I burned calories taking the long way right?

I go into the School of Dentistry and it must be a break or something because there are tons of dental students hanging out by the doors. Self-conscious as ever I hurry up the escalator to the second floor and to another information desk where I try to make sure I've come to the right place. She directs me to the appropriate office and I go sign on.

They take me back to a waiting room and they come and take a look (by the way I had this thing on my lower lip, had it for years and the dentist has been telling me for a few years to get it removed). My blood pressure is taken (which is infinitely more painful than I remember, I had that stupid pressure cuff). Then they have talk of a laser. The woman/student (I think she was a student with the way she kept asking questions) brings this puppy in.

I call him Irwin, I don't know what my doctor calls him, but he patted him and said that, "a clean laser is a happy laser" and the woman mentioned it was a new toy. I couldn't help but keep looking at Irwin. Small and lightweight and yet I was totally scared of him. Then the lady says they are just calling up my insurance to make sure everything is good to go. "Everything is a go," I repeated slowly in my mind. Holy crap you're going to do it today? I hadn't had any time to prepare, to be nervous, nothing! They were just going to do it today! I felt a lot like this guy.

I honestly don't know what would have been worse, my imagination with what could go wrong with my very first laser surgery or what could go wrong with the old fashion way. I decided that 15 seconds with a laser would be better, but what if my head jerked to the side when the laser was on? Would I be permanently disfigured? The dentist/doctor person leaves for a moment and I am giving a consent form listing all the things that could go wrong. Nasal passage? Profuse bleeding? Permanent numbness? With a shaky hand I put my initials next to each possible future. I contemplated writing in my dad's cell phone number because the number they had in case of emergency was my parent's home phone, they weren't home! It would be hours before they could come and get me and I would be withering in pain alone! Or worse, dead! I didn't want to give consent to release them from responsibility for some of these things, but what choice did I have?

Finally a student dentist comes in. I don't know if it was the scrubs are the dark hair but I found him attractive. I want to state for the record that I have never before found anyone who was privy to what the inside of my mouth looks like attractive. I have always had older, married dentist, and no one else has ever been allowed to look, poke, or prod inside my mouth. Suddenly everything was a little humiliating and I don't know if it was because I found him attractive or if it was because these were strangers. I didn't know them and they don't know me. So Dr. Cutie has been given the assignment of being the one I'm going to hate. He gets to stick a needle into my lip.

Now, I have never actually seen the needle in real life and this is the first time I've looked at a picture of one. I've made it my dental practice to close my eyes before I can even get a glimpse of it, and that's exactly what I did today. I knew it would take two shots but I was expecting to not feel the second one...but boy did I ever. I think it was worse than the first. The lady patted my arm while I dug my fingernails into my flesh. After the first shot Dr. Cutie rubbed his thumb in my chin, that was slightly awkward, but I knew it's what he learned to do. After the shots the lady smiles and says, "That was the worst part." I said, "I know," but in my mind I was thinking, "unless something goes terribly wrong with the laser."

Then they left me to get numb and I kept thinking of all the horrible things that could happen. I never in my life have thought or worried about it quite so much. What if I died? I began to notice the dirt smudges on the cabinet and how dirty part of the floor was. I sat there and tried to remember the names of the three individuals that had just helped me but I was so preoccupied with the fact that they were going to "operate" that I couldn't remember! So the regular oral surgeon walks in and so does the lady and then they call Dr. Cutie in. Now I think Dr. Cutie is attractive, but he's my age! I don't want him pointing a laser at my face!

The O.S. is getting everything ready and he's talking Dr. Cutie through it (have I not actually mentioned that I'm at a learning hospital? Yeah, thanks a lot insurance options!) I'm trying not to let that bother me because he's got to learn somehow and I'm sure he wouldn't be at this stage in his education if he was a moron who would slip up. The O.S. is talking and says, "I'm going to need you to pull down this side of the lip." Well Dr. Cutie doesn't do anything so I wonder if he is talking to me, so I begin to bring my hand up and the O.S. starts laughing and says, "Not you," I give him a gauze filled smile back and act like I knew. Then I know they are getting the laser ready to go so I close my eyes. There's nothing worse than hearing the doctor talk through the person who has a laser pointed at your face. Or worse to hear the two students say, "oh yeah, that red light really helps!" As though they have never even seen the laser turned on before!

Since my eyes were closed the only way I actually knew they were working with the laser was the repugnant smell. Either the laser smells that bad or I officially know what burning flesh smells like. When it was done the O.S. said, "All done with you major surgery," and we all laughed like we were friends kicking it on the porch. Then I was warned against spicy and acidic food for the next couple of days and that was it. Just walk out, get your ticket validated and head on back to normal life.

So with a numbed lip that makes me feel like a moron while I talk I got my ticket validated and came back to work, two hours after I had left, and one hour after I had entered the dental building. Amazing how quickly it was all done and over with. I didn't even have to use a full hour of PTO (paid time off). Go me!

home made jamba juice/tropical smoothie

Last night I made my first smoothie with my new blender. I didn't really know how to make one, but I know I like raspberry lemonade so I thought I would go ahead and try a raspberry-lemon deal.

It was actually pretty gross at first, then I added some sugar. I think next time less lemon.

Also, I need to work on proportions. It doesn't look like it will make much, but when you add the ice...my goodness!

So that's my smoothie making experience!


If anyone has good ideas for smoothies let me know!

When the boss is away

Wednesdays can be a good day or a bad day. They are the middle of the week, which is good, but if it came too slowly then it's bad. You know, "I can't believe it's already Wednesday." or it's, "I can't believe it's only Wednesday!" See?

Today, was okay, except that near 4:00 I realized that yesterday I thought it was Wednesday so today should have been Thursday. But this morning, I knew it was Wednesday, and that yesterday was Tuesday. But like I said, I realized today at 4:00 that I had made the mistake. So really, no harm done, I just felt like an idiot because I told my friend I wouldn't be at work this afternoon (thinking that it would be Thursday afternoon) and she said it would be fine because she wouldn't be at work today either. So when I went to her desk and saw she wasn't there I realized that we had been talking about different days, and I was the one who was wrong...my bad.

This morning my boss came in to work to find some flowers on her desk. Sad thing is, she can't really be around too many flowers. So sounding stuffy she came out to my desk and asked if I would like to have them. The flowers were loose, that is to say they weren't in a vase or anything. So I looked around my desk and found some "presents" from Christmas. A coffee tumbler that someone got from a Broker and didn't want so they gave to me, you know, because I drink coffee...

It looks perfect with the flowers, I'm just glad I finally have a use for it. Now if you are wondering about the plastic wrap...that's another gift. The two ladies I work with went for a little elevator ride this afternoon and while there they ran into a man from one of the upstairs offices. He randomly pulled out two two-packs of plastic wrap and gave it to them. Thank you plastic wrap Santa. So Wanda gave me one of the rolls she had been given. So of course I took a picture of my gifts that weren't exactly given to me, you know, by the original gift giver...but I'm okay with regifts.

Then my boss left early, she had to go meet the plumber at her house. Julie brought over some things that I had ordered. I pulled out those plastic pillows of air that they use instead of the addictive bubble wrap. There were three strips of these things. I gave one to Wanda and told her I had ordered these super cheap pillows for the HR department. Then...I stuck one underneath my shirt (naturally right?).

I make such a cute pregnant woman. Maybe I'll show this to the boys at church, "I would be a cute pregnant wife no?"

The ladies at the office got a good laugh out of this. Little do they know that this isn't the first time that I've done this. That's right folks, I'm a repeat offender.

This one is a spiderman pillow. I put the pillow underneath my tank top (underneath the shirt) and went up to my roommate, Claire's room and asked her if this shirt made me look like I was pregnant. Survey says....yes. You can tell by the black socks I'm sporting that this was when I was still a trainer at the grocery store because I always wore black socks with those shoes and now I rarely ever wear black socks. Also, my hair is looking rather short in this photo.

Pretty busy day at work today. All in all, one of those good Wednesdays.

My Weekend

Friday was my parent's anniversary as well as my roommate's 25th birthday. It's how I've always remembered Evan's birthday, same day. Evan throws fantastic parties by the way.

These are the cookies our roommate Emily made. "E"s and princess crowns.

Her sister brought the cake, nice and pink and that's Evan's picture on the crown.

Evan, Jackie, and I pose for the camera...but notice Nic in the background. That by far is my favorite part. He makes me think of my sister Kathryn, who always shows up in pictures, whether jumping out in front or in the background looking at the camera, knowing he's going to be in the picture and unafraid. Yes, he did show up in the background of more pictures.

When the party died down enough where we could actually move around and sit on the ground we whipped out girl talk. And yes, those are two boys playing with us. Evan's brother and his friend, the brave boys who played the most dangerous game of girl talk.

One of my stupid dares was to drink water from a bowl of water like a dog. Tanya had to call a boy and tell him a joke (she called Evan's brother who was sitting next to her), Christie had to do some jumping jacks, the boys (who functioned as one rather than two individuals) had to act out a song title, and Schyler...Schyler got three zit stickers.

So...that was Friday. Saturday I got a package in the mail and guess what it was?!

That's right! The 15th Anniversary Collector's Edition of Nightmare Before Christmas!!! I have been looking for this on DVD for years but it was in the Disney Vault so the only one I could find was about $100...no thank you. When I saw that they were releasing it for the 15th Anniversary I bought it. The cover is 3D, my cousins thought it was a toy and were hoping I would give it to them, but I didn't even let their little kid hands touch it. No offense to them, but I wasn't going to let it get injured on the first day I owned it...give me at least 5 years.

After that excitement died down I went to the ward activity. A cookie bake off.

G-Sauce and I taste the cookies to see if they are worth voting for. But I would stop my chewing to inform people that my cookies were the best one's they've ever tasted and therefore should vote for them. Didn't help though, I guess it pays to show up to an activity on time when there is judging taking place. Most people had already tested and voted by the time I showed up with my perfect cookies. Thus leading to me not winning what turned out to be a real prize ($25 gift card to Cheesecake Factory). If I had known that I would have shown up early and promoted my cookies better.

Not to judge harshly but I would have done a few things differently...first off I wouldn't have divided it into clear categories when categories didn't matter (because I would have made gingersnaps if I knew it didn't matter, they had us sign up for chocolate chip, peanut butter, and sugar- so I was under the impression that there would be prizes for each category). Also, I would have had the cookies broken into at least halves...people were getting stuffed before they could get through the line. I also wouldn't have labeled the cookies with the person's name. This is a cookie contest, not a popularity one so let's keep baker anonymity. But in the end I'm not hurt by losing, and I had a pretty good time...plus I love to eat cookies, so, you know, whatever.

Hurricane Hanna

Today was bath day, every Saturday that I don't work I take Chubbers for a nice long walk and then give him a bath. But today there happens to be a hurricane on the coast. So we had to do bathtime in the shower (not fun for me but Chubber's likes having warm water)

Here he is with a sheet stuck on his little nub of a tail.

Bath time is always a struggle, he always thinks I'm playing with him when I try to dry him off.



Since it was raining outside I let him hang out in my room. I have a fan going and suddenly Chubbers noticed and got on the ground growling. Whenever the air would pass by him he would bark....crazy pup.

I've picked out my children. I know that you can't actually pick your children out, you get whatever God grants you with (avoiding sacrilegious statements about why I should be given these children). I was talking to my roommates one night and I picked up a magazine to flip through the pages as we talked and in the front inside cover ad I saw my children.

Allison

Andrew

I was originally going to name them Ralph and Lauren, since those were the names written under the pictures...but he doesn't strike me as a Ralph, and we already have a Lauren (Lauryn) in my family. I even found the Olympic husband that phenotypically could make this happen. I just can't remember his name, and even when I knew it and looked for pictures of him but it was a lost cause. I can't find the photo that convinced me that these would be our children.

2008

I'm going to use a phrase my sister used today in an e-mail. I have a political crush on Sarah Palin. I watched her speech from last night on my lunch break today. McCain was right when he said she is the person for the job!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/26535823#26535823

I've never felt this positive about a politician.

We put the "fun" in dysfunctional

Warning: This blog entry is not for the faint of heart. If you are taking medication, currently use an inhaler, or are breast feeding, pregnant or could ever become pregnant in your life, or ever have been pregnant then please close your eyes and scroll really quickly to a more pleasant entry.











...I wasn't kidding. There are pictures so please be cautious!












Fine...read on at your own risk but don't hold me accountable for anything that may happen to you.

Yesterday, as many of my American readers are aware, was Labor day. I went to my parent's house for the celebrations of the Day of Labor. Little did I know that the day, which started out innocently enough, would turn into an evening of mystery and intrigue!

We had eaten dinner (which is a horror story in and off itself, not because of the food, not because of my immediate family, but because of one extension...I'm not going to talk about it, I can't stand it, it's too much....okay, fine you talked me into it, slight digression before we get into the gore). My aunt lives at my parent's house (I know right?) so I was bugged with her already from annoying events before which I really will leave out. When dinner was ready I grabbed a plate from the table and went to get some food on it. I came back and my aunt was setting her plate in my spot. I stood there and said, "That's my spot!" (I'm the youngest of six and one of the times you can really tell is when I am with my family). She apparently didn't hear me and walked off to get something. I stare at my sister-in-law who is supposed to be sitting by me and she gives me a look. I stand there, not budging on this because of the said events earlier of which I will not speak just know that she's been ticking me off all day. When she comes back I say, "Uh that's my spot, I was sitting there, that's my seat." I gave her three different ways to understand that she had to move. She laughed and said, "Oh that's why there wasn't a plate there." Biting my tongue at this moment...what did you think when every spot had a plate except that one? So I put my plate down and grab what I thought was my chair, but then I realize that there are only two chairs on our side of the table. I give the chair I had to my sister-in-law and go to the kitchen to grab one that had stuff all over it. I'm in the process of carefully setting down the stack of things that were on the chair and my aunt comes in and takes the chair...I didn't panic at this point because I thought possibly she was taking it in there for me because she felt bad about taking my plate spot in the first place. I round the corner and she is sitting in my chair! She took it for herself!! So I don't have a chair! This woman had done nothing but annoy me all day. I left the room, trying to control my anger. I hear my mom mention that there is a folding chair upstairs. So Auntie runs up the stairs and gets it....I went outside to calm down. When I came back in guess where the folding chair was?? In my spot! She took, no stole my chair and then gave me the folding one!? The folding chair is much lower by the way, so I sit down and feel like an idiot at the table. I look at my sister who just burst into laughter because she knows someone is about to be murdered by me. She's laughing so hard she runs from the table, I take this as an opportunity to run from the table too because I'm so mad. I run in after my sister who thinks I'm coming to hit her (have I ever? Not that I recall...not this sister at least). I asked my sister if I could just sit at the kid table because I don't feel like I'll be able to control what I say to my aunt. So Kat (my sister) starts opening up a space (the best part being that to do this she is moving children who are sitting in chairs and the children don't say anything about it, they have a story to tell or something so they keep talking to her as she moves them...if you did that to an adult they would ask you what you are doing). When she starts moving chairs I realize I'd rather eat sitting across from my aunt than risk getting prechewed food on me so I tell her never mind. The rest of dinner went well, I just pretended my aunt wasn't there. There...now you know it, I'm a brat. I'm so ashamed.

But on to the mystery and intrigue. After dinner we were building a fire to roast marshmallows because that's something you should do every summer holiday (no sarcasm, I'm serious on this one...I love roasted marshmallows as some of you remember). But the festivities are cut short by the announcement that we are to have a squirrel funeral. (close your eyes because a picture of said squirrel is next, I'll put space so you can scroll quickly).

I'm aware that having this picture makes me morbid, but I feel it is necessary. If you can even figure out which part is the squirrel...can you figure out it's cause of death? And how long has it been dead because that could change things quite a bit...

The children (plus Kat) gather for the funeral. Kathryn asks if anyone has anything to say. Theo says, "Thanks for digging up the flowers." Which leads to the mystery part. Theo obviously knows the squirrel, has seen him digging up the flowers before...is it motive? What was his tone? I can't remember, was it hateful? sad? remorseful?

Then Samantha decides to make her acting debut and starts a long monologue about the squirrel (this was probably due to our reaction of laughing to Theo's remark). She's quite the actress, was she just pretending to be upset over the death of this squirrel? I didn't see any tears with her audible sobs. What would her motive be?

Then it was my turn to say something. I walked up to the grave, looked down and said, "Humans 2, squirrels 0." and turned to walk away.