Lildonbro

It's no secret that all things nature hate me.


When I was in fourth or fifth grade I was sitting outside on the front porch of my piano teacher's house (my sister was inside doing her lesson). My teacher had a cat who came up to entice me to pet it, which of course I did because I loved cats. Suddenly the cat must have been rabid because out of no where it jumped on my head...not a problem except that the cat had not been declawed. To this day I don't know why the cat did it, but I also still think cats are flipping adorable (though I own a dog).

My first year at camp I got 7 ticks, with the 8th being found after I gave up and went home early (early being by about 9 hours...apparently I'm one of those quitters). I couldn't take having one more tick and since it was past midnight and my parent's were asleep so they couldn't remove it for me the proper way, I lit a match and endured the pain knowing that the blood sucker was in more pain.


My fourth year at camp I tripped on a rock, stumbled down the mountain side for a while before finally thudding on the ground, leading me to have a case of tendinitis later that year and a squishy sound when I bend my knee for the rest of my life (to this point in my life at least).


On a youth hike for church one year we went to a place with a waterfall. I went off on my own for a bit and went to jump on a rock that looked completely dry, turned out if was covered in a dark moss and I slipped smacking my back into the hard rock.

One summer I went to that big theme park in Ohio with some family and before lunch time I was burnt, I looked like a lobster I was so red (and of course it was a farmer's tan...great).


In college I was chased by a squirrel on more than one occasion. Once trapped inside my roommate's apartment, and once trapped in my own when I was already late for class.


My car spun 180 degrees, slamming me into a snow bank on I-15 after slipping on a spot of black ice. Yeah, I cried a little on that one. I'll stop here because I think you get the point.


So this morning shouldn't have surprised me, because this morning was no different than any other experience I've had with nature. Last night I let my little dog sleep in my room. He woke me up at 6:30 in the morning (annoying) and I let him outside in the backyard to do his business while my eyes stuck together every time I blinked. I heard an awful lot of quacking and looked up into the sky to see the geese practicing for their annual trip south. Behind me I hear a very distinct splatting sound and know without a doubt, even with my sleepy brain, that the geese were actually having target practice. I almost let my dog fend for himself and run back inside for cover, but he would never forgive me, so I yelled quietly at him to hurry up or stay outside. He came trotting over (because if you know my dog you know he actually wanted to be a horse and behaves as such).

Safely inside my warm room (because it's getting chilly here) I crawl back into bed and sleep for another hour. Yes...I know, I should have just stayed awake and done something productive but I am not a morning person, 7:30 is as early as it gets right now.

I wake up, take the dog outside, and get ready for the day. I get into my car, start the engine and prepare to drive to work when I look over to my right to see this.

That's right folks, the geese had gotten closer to me than I realized. This time it's personal.