This is a long one...

I am amazed at the Savior’s encircling arms of mercy and love for the
repentant, no matter how selfish the forsaken sin. I testify that the Savior is
able and eager to forgive our sins. Except for the sins of those few who choose
perdition after having known a fullness, there is no sin that cannot be forgiven.
What a marvelous privilege for each of us to turn away from our sins and to come
unto Christ. Divine forgiveness is one of the sweetest fruits of the gospel,
removing guilt and pain from our hearts and replacing them with joy and peace of
conscience. Jesus declares, “Will ye not now return unto me, and repent of your
sins, and be converted, that I may heal you?" (Elder Neil A. Andersen, "Repent...That I May Heal You).

The last topic of gratitude from President Monson's talk is gratitude for the Jesus Christ.

This is one of those topics where I don't even know where to begin. There is so much to be grateful for and it all comes from Him and from the sacrifice He gave for us.

One of my favorite talks on the Savior is Elder Holland's None Were With Him. Listening is better, but reading is just as good.

I love my Savior, I am grateful for the Atonement. I am grateful that He loved us so much that he gave his life so that we may live again. The most pertinent aspect of the Savior's life, ministry and Atonement for me is the ability to repent of my sins. The more I study the Atonement the more real it becomes to me. The sacrifice that the Savior made grows as I understand how much the Atonement encompasses.

In Elder Jeffrey R. Hollands talk I mentioned above, he says, "...the Father briefly withdrew from Jesus the comfort of His Spirit...It was required, indeed it was central to the significance of the Atonement, that this perfect Son who had never spoken ill nor done wrong nor touched an unclean thing had to know how the rest of humankind - us, all of us - would feel when we did commit such sins. For His Atonement to be infinite and eternal, He had to feel what it was like to die not only physically but spiritually, to sense what it was like to have the divine Spirit withdraw, leaving one feeling totally, abjectly, hopelessly alone."

It takes my mind to John 16:33 - "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." Jesus Christ knows exactly how we feel or have felt. He has been there, he as descended beneath them all, he has felt every anguish, every pain, heartache that we have ever felt. That was what happened in the Garden, he took upon himself all of our sins...all of our sins. As Elder Holland said in the quote above, "this perfect Son who had never spoken ill nor done wrong nor touched an unclean thing" took on our sins, he took on my sins. He overcame the world for me.

At the end of Elder Holland's talk he says of Christ's lonely journey that it "must never be reenacted by us. He has walked alone once. Now, may I ask that never again will He have to confront sin without our aid and assistance, that never again will He find only unresponsive onlookers when He sees you and me along His Via Dolorosa in our present day." There was a time that I read that as a commitment to never sin. And while it is, it is not only that. It is a promise that when (and I must say 'when' because none of us are perfect, we all fall from time to time) when we sin we repent. We take part in what Jesus offered us by giving his life, and not only by giving his life but by suffering for our sins when he himself had never committed a sin. He gave us the gift of the atonement, the opportunity to repent of our sins and become clean again. I imagine that when we sin and do not repent we are in essence recreating the scenes of Christ's lonely journey, we are forsaking him again as everyone had once done already.

It makes me think of a story I've heard several times. "Push ups for Donuts" (or often called, Seminary Donuts":

There was a boy by the name of Steve who was attending school in Utah. In this school Seminary classes are held during school hours. Brother Christianson taught Seminary at this particular school. He had an open-door policy and would take in any student that had been thrown out of another class as long as they would abide by his rules. Steve had been kicked out of his sixth period and no other teacher wanted him, so he went into Brother Christianson's Seminary class.

Steve was told that he could not be late, so he arrived just seconds before the bell rang and he would sit in the very back of the room. He would also be the first to leave after the class was over.

One day, Brother Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him. After class, Bro. Christianson pulled Steve aside and said, "You think you're pretty tough, don't you?"

Steve's answer was, "Yeah, I do."

Then Brother Christianson asked, "How many push-ups can you do?"

Steve said, "I do about 200 every night."

"200? That's pretty good, Steve," Brother Christianson said. "Do you think you could do 300?"

Steve replied, "I don't know... I've never done 300 at a time."

"Do you think you could?" Again asked Brother Christianson.

"Well, I can try," said Steve.

"Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I need you to do 300 in sets of ten for this to work. Can you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it," Brother Christianson said.

Steve said, "Well... I think I can... yeah, I can do it."

Brother Christianson said, "Good! I need you to do this on Friday."Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room. When class started, Brother Christianson pulled out a big box of donuts. Now these weren't the normal kinds of donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited-it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an early start on the weekend.

Bro. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, "Cynthia, do you want a donut?"Cynthia said, "Yes."

Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?"

Steve said, "Sure," and jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk.

Bro. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk.

Bro. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, "Joe do you want a donut?"Joe said, "Yes." Bro. Christianson asked, "Steve would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?" Steve did ten push-ups, Joe got a donut.

And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten push ups for every person before they got their donut.

And down the second aisle, till Bro. Christianson came to Scott.

Scott was captain of the football team and center of the basketball team. He was very popular and never lacking for female companionship. When Bro. Christianson asked, "Scott do you want a donut?"Scott's reply was, "Well, can I do my own push ups?"

Bro. Christianson said, "No, Steve has to do them."

Then Scott said, "Well, I don't want one then."

Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push ups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?"

Steve started to do ten push ups. Scott said, "HEY! I said I didn't want one!"

Bro. Christianson said, "Look, this is my classroom, my class, my desks, and my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want it." And he put a donut on Scott's desk.

Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow. Bro. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were beginning to get a little angry.

Bro. Christianson asked Jenny, "Jenny, do you want a donut?"Jenny said, "No."

Then Bro. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve,would you do ten push ups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?" Steve did ten, Jenny got a donut.

By now, the students were beginning to say "No" and there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks. Steve was also having to really put forth a lot of effort to get these push ups done for each donut.

There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved.

Bro. Christianson asked Robert to watch Steve to make sure he did ten push ups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts. So Robert began to watch Steve closely. Bro. Christianson started down the fourth row.

During his class, however, some students had wandered in and sat along the heaters along the sides of the room. When Bro. Christianson realized this; he did a quick count and saw 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it.

Bro. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set.

Steve asked Bro. Christianson, "Do I have to make my nose touch on each one?"Bro. Christianson thought for a moment, "Well, they're your push ups. You can do them any way that you want."

And Bro. Christianson went on.

A few moments later, Jason came to the room and was about to come in when all the students yelled, "NO! Don't come in! Stay out!"Jason didn't know what was going on. Steve picked up his head and said, "No, let him come."

Bro. Christianson said, "You realize that if Jason comes in you will have to do ten push ups for him."

Steve said, "Yes, let him come in."

Bro. Christianson said, "Okay, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?"

"Yes."

"Steve, will you do ten push ups so that Jason can have a donut?" Steve did ten pushups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down.

Bro. Christianson finished the fourth row, then started on those seated on the heaters. Steve's arms were now shaking with each push up in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity. Sweat was dropping off of his face and, by this time, there was not a dry eye in the room.

The very last two girls in the room were cheerleaders and very popular. Bro. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, "Linda, do you want a doughnut?"

Linda said, very sadly, "No, thank you."

Bro. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten push ups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?"

Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow push ups for Linda. Then Bro. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. "Susan, do you want a donut?"

Susan, with tears flowing down her face, asked, "Bro. Christianson , can I help him?"

Bro. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, "No, he has to do it alone, Steve, would you do ten push ups so Susan can have a donut?"

As Steve very slowly finished his last push up, with the understanding that he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 push ups, his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor.

Brother Christianson turned to the room and said. "And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, plead to the Father, "Into thy hands I commend my spirit." With the understanding that He had done everything that was required of Him, he collapsed on the cross and died. And like some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift on the desk, uneaten."

This story always gives me goosebumps. When they said they didn't want a donut he asked Steve, "would you do ten push-ups for a donut she doesn't want?" And then later as more students want to come in and the class yell out "No!" but Steve, being the one to learn the most from this lesson says, "Let them in." But the last words of the teacher in this story seem to go very well with those of Elder Holland, "And like some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift on the desk, uneaten."

Let us not waste the gift of the atonement. Whether we partake of it or not it is done, and it was done out of love so that we would have it, so we could repent. "May I ask that never again will He have to confront sin without our aid and assistance, that never again will He find only unresponsive onlookers when He sees you and me along His Via Dolorosa."

I love the Savior and am truly grateful for all that He has done for me, for the love he has shown me, for His personal attributes that teach me the way that I should be, and the person I am striving to become.

Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.*

It's crunch time. Pretty much it's the big day. The only Halloween event I have going this weekend is tonight and I have no costume...and I don't care. This is how I know that something is wrong with me.

I've been in a blah mood...I thought all week, but my coworker informs me that she thought I had been in a relatively good mood for the past week, just slipping down today. That's probably because I was showing signs of life earlier this week, and that was because I started to see the world a little differently. I started to look at work to see what puts me in moods and I think the thing that has done it is that I don't see anywhere for me to go.

I equated it to when I was signed up for that PHR class. I was staying on top of the reading, passing the little quizzes at the end of each section and book and feeling pretty good. Then I was informed I couldn't take the test and what happened? I can tell you what didn't happen, I didn't read, I didn't take quizzes, I barely paid attention in class (but I still went cause it wasn't cheap). I think that's what it is now, I don't see any purpose to caring about my job, I need something to work towards. Luckily for me this little revelation has come just in time for my annual review. So I can discuss this with my boss and hopefully things will improve from there.

Whoa, I wanted to write about Halloween - stupid mood swings. Anyway, so there appears to be one person who is dressed up in our building (not in our office - cause homey don't play like that here). My coworker was looking out the window and alerted me to someone dressed up in a costume. We think it's Fred Flintstone. Anyway, he has these big shoes shaped like feet and I mention to coworker that the high schooler she saw today with bare feet and Tarzan costume on could have used those.

Coworker: Tarzan doesn't wear shoes though.
Me: I don't think those are shoes, I think they are giant feet so he can get the car started.
Coworker: *Laughing*

Then the guys kept walking past the cars over to the retention pond.

Coworker: Oh my! I thought they were going to drive somewhere but are they seriously going to walk!?
Me: No, they are smoking. They shouldn't be smoking there, there's a designated area. Oh great...now there's going to be an e-mail about designated smoke areas. If that mulch catches fire folks, we're going to be in trouble.

Coworker walks away because I was poking fun at a series of e-mails we got this summer about where we can smoke and that mulch was catching fire because people were dropping their cigarette butts everywhere. The woman who sent the e-mails said "folks" more and more as she got angrier and angrier...in the end, the delinquent smokers turned out to be people from her company.

Me (when coworker returns): The Flintstones' didn't smoke. I'm going to go talk to him about smoking cause it's really out of character and it's beginning to tick me off.

As you can see - I've been very productive today.

I think I'll just whip on some fake eyelashes, some crazy make-up and say that I'm something...mostly I just want to wear the fake eyelashes.

Somebody help me, I'm being spontaneous! *

The other day my friend said to me, "Keep your fingers crossed." I said that I would. But then I got to thinking about it. Isn't it weird that people cross their fingers for good luck but also when they don't intend to keep a promise that they are making?

So the question. If I agree to keep my fingers crossed is it because I am with you in wishing for good luck or because I have no intention of joining you in your quest for good luck...

I can again never trust people who cross their fingers for me. They're really just saying that they don't intend to keep them crossed for me.

In other news - let's talk about favorite movies.

Lately I have been thinking about my favorite movies. What are they and why kind of thing. Mostly it started because one night a group of friends were talking and one girl said that her favorite movie was "The Proposal". ...Now I haven't seen this movie and maybe I'm a snob, but I said in my mind, "For the love of all that is holy, why!?"

Then one of the guys said that his favorite movie was "You've Got Mail". Chick flicks...for guys and girls alike. So then I started to think that I must be pretty weird to have my favorite movie as "Gattaca".

A few weeks ago, while we were driving around D.C. and Northern Virginia on our impromptu tour, we played a game that I like to call Truth-or-Truth. There are many of you who have had the joy and ultimate pleasure of playing this game with me. I like this game because it's a time I don't let myself fib and I excuse myself completely for my honesty. One of the questions...er...request that Brittany made, was that we all go around and name one thing we like about each person in the car. Amber and I both mentioned to Nick that we love his nerdiness (for he is 100% nerd). Later Amber said something about throwing herself in with Nick and Jessica's nerdiness and I said, "I'm not a nerd." Everyone laughed. ...I'm not a nerd.

But then it dawned on me...I am a nerd. Let's look at the evidence, my favorite movie is Gattaca, the story I am writing is about people who develop superhuman powers (a comic book in novel form), I alphabetize my DVDs, my favorite books are dystopian novels which include: 1984, Brave New World, Children of Men, etc. etc. etc. Let’s throw in that I also like Science Fiction books. I like to project when I can have my car paid off (by making a spreadsheet, choosing a monthly amount and seeing how early I can pay it off – I also work in interest). No need to examine this further, I’m a nerd. I’m trying to convince myself that I’m a cool nerd, but I’m not doing very well with that.

Oh brother, pretty much I just wanted to ask "What's your favorite movie?"

I do believe it's true that there are roads left in both our shoes.*

Did I mention I saw a shooting star on Sunday night? Obviously the picture above is not the actual one. My reaction time doesn't permit for actually catching things like that on film. I couldn't even tell my friend what I was looking at until it was gone. It was so big and bright I thought it was a plane...going down fast. So I watched and then saw a part break off and disappear, then another chunk break off and disappear and then the whole thing seemed to be swallowed up by the sky. It was, for lack of better wording, freaking awesome!

It was cool to see this little wannabe meteorite that had breached the atmosphere. Any bigger or any faster and there could have been some damage (and an upgrade to meteorite status). But what it ended up being was pretty cool and I'm sad for my friend who was with me and missed it because I didn't know how to form words at the time. I don't think I've ever seen a shooting star before, I feel pretty blessed to have seen one.

Have you ever seen a shooting/falling star? Did you act like an idiot like I did!?

In other news, we won our basketball game last night...in overtime. I can't take any credit what-so-ever. I don't shoot, I just, well I don't know what I do. I did knock the ball out once, the same time someone from the other team was right there. The ref called it out on them and the guy from the other team was like, "It was off her fingers." And he looked at me and I nodded, cause it was true. So the guy was like, "Even she says yes." And I nodded my head again for the ref and the ref smiled and said, "Yeah right." I don't know if I should take offense that he doesn't think I hit it out...or that he thinks I was lying...or what. But I just shrugged my shoulders, what can you do? All I know really know is that I need to step it up in basketball. I am too passive right now and I think I need to try and prove to my team that it was worth it to invite me to play. So hopefully next week I can report on some injury, either caused to someone by me, or done to me. Either way, means I would be playing harder.

No Mercedes this year, we have to set an example. Set this!*

I have zero desire to work. I am the only one in my department this morning and I think I have an ulcer...or a stomach bug...or something that makes me feel sick to my stomach when I eat or drink.

The weekends go by too quickly. I have decided that the new work week should be 30 hours, leaving Friday wide open to be a real part of the weekend rather than just the gateway into the weekend. I didn't have enough time this weekend. I got plenty done, but I could have gotten more if I only had more time...say 8.5 hours extra on Friday...just saying. I could have slept more, seen my family more, taken more time to think ...actually I think too much, I think all the time and I think it's to my own detriment.

So the weekend in recap:

Friday night I had a date, yes, a date. Close your mouth it's not that shocking. We decided to wing it, and winging it meant that we went downtown and ate at The Tobacco Company...which by the way, I've never been to. It's one of those really nice restaurants that serves overpriced food with strangely sweet reductions blocking out the naturally good taste of the meat beneath. I felt incredibly uncomfortable the whole time. At least I had a nice sweater on, despite the jeans.

Then we left and entered into the magical world of Inlight (http://www.1708gallery.org/inlight/). I appreciate art...I didn't really appreciate this. I did like a few of the displays, but most of them I felt as though we as a people were being swindled. It was like the "artists" were doing a half-asked job and thought, "Well, the open minded people will appreciate this as more than it is, while the closed minded will be ridiculed for being closed minded and not seeing the deeper meaning." ...or not, maybe they ran out of time, maybe in their drug induced state this was art to them. But I'm sorry, projecting a moving beam of light across the pavement is not art, if anything, the drunk people from the local clubs used it as a game. Who can run across the moving beam of light and stay within the lines? They had a really good time and I even wanted to cheer for them. Especially when they decided to run across in mass, 10-12 drunk people trying to run in a straight line...hilarious. Art-sports...exciting. Like I said though, there were a few displays that I liked, but considering how many there were...it just wasn't enough to win my admiration.

So we left and went to my house to make milkshakes...which we didn't eat cause they were too runny or something...I can't remember. Wow - in retrospect this date seems like a bust, but it wasn't, we plan to go out again soon. Hopefully a little more low key next time - like me.

Saturday was the pancake breakfast. Every so often my friend, Jim, and I throw a pancake breakfast. We've only had about 3 of them, but we really like having our friends over and cooking them breakfast. Things got a little crazy and there are pictures to come, but let's just say a peep, M&Ms, pancake, eggs, and lighter fluid were involved. We were going to go to the mountains after that, but I think the smell of bacon had made most of us sick...and tired. So I rearranged my room, which took a long time. I think I like it though, the way it is now. I went over to a friend's house Saturday night and played games and then came home and went to bed.

Sunday was full too. I went to church, then had a meeting, then I went to my parents' house and didn't get to spend enough time with my family. Then I was off to another meeting, except that I thought the meeting was at 7:30 and it turns out that it was at 7:00...my bad. They didn't need me anyway, I just felt bad coming in late. The bishop was sitting a few rows down from me and during one part I look over and he made a face, it made me laugh. His Sunday was no doubt busier than mine and I doubt he had been home yet. Poor guy.

I came home and tried to watch The Incredibles cause I was feeling the need for a little cartoonic comedy only to discover that the copy I own is busted. It just loops on the previews - I hate DVDs all of a sudden. So I settled for Meet the Robinsons. I got in my PJs and warmed up under the covers...and passed out. Yup, by 9:45 I was dead to the world.

Welp, that's my weekend, not in a nutshell cause I took way too long to write it, but I may have written extra just because I don't want to work. Any of you do anything fun this weekend? Or not fun...I'll listen to any weekend story.

I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant.*

"I shall know but one country. The ends I aim at shall be my country’s, my God’s and Truth’s. I was born an American; I live an American; I shall die an American." -- Daniel Webster


"Sure I wave the American flag. Do you know a better flag to wave? Sure I love my country with all her faults. I'm not ashamed of that, never have been, never will be." -- John Wayne





The U.S. of A. This one is harder for me for a couple of reasons. One - I am a cynic who has issues with a lot of things involving the U.S. government. Two - It's not like the U.S.A. and I hang out all the time and I can gush about how great they are. But I told myself I would stick with this and blog through each of the things from President's Monson's talk each Sunday until I was done. Since I don't stick with much and I only have two more weeks of specific, predetermined topics, I figured I can make it through. In two weeks I can start gushing about whatever I was thankful for in the past week or something.




This is truly an amazing country that we live in. My reason number one, where I said I was a cynic with issues with the government...I have the freedom to be that. There are so many freedoms that I have in the United States. I have the freedom to vote...or not vote, whichever I choose. One of the greatest freedoms that we can have in this country is the freedom of religion. I could go through the Bill of Rights here and talk about each, but I won't.


I am proud to be an American. I feel that in the past couple of years people have made it seem like we shouldn't be proud of who we are. That's nonsense to me, those are the words of a bully, an abuser, someone who doesn't want us to believe we are great so that therefore we won't be great. I admit, it works on me from time to time. I am not as patriotic as I should be, I don't always love my country, sometimes I feel like as a group we are cocky...and maybe we truly are. But that is besides the point. This country is based on freedom. Freedom from tyranny, freedom to act and make choices for ourselves.



I love this country, not only for the freedoms it provides but it is a beautiful country! I have driven and visited a large portion of it, and it's so different from one area to the next. The mountains, valleys, deserts, forests, the wonders of nature. Coast to coast this is a beautiful nation.



I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. No matter what my current thoughts on politics or the American people as a whole, this is my home, this is who I am. It's history is my history, it's future is my future. I have the right and responsibility of helping to determine the future of this country and to preserve the good that it was founded on and that currently exists.



"Our citizenship in the United States is our national character. Our citizenship in any particular state is only our local distinction. By the latter we are known at home, by the former to the world. Our great title is AMERICANS…" -- Thomas Paine

May we always stand up for what is good, honest, and true. May we fight to preserve our freedoms, may we not back down to the barrage of negativity that is constantly thrown in our faces, may we always be proud to be Americans.

"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves." -- Abraham Lincoln

All kinds of weather, we stick together, the same in the rain or sun*

Let me tell you why my sister, Joanna, is amazing. First, a disclaimer for Martha and Kathryn: All of my sisters are amazing, but today's post is a little into why Joanna is.

If I could grow up to be like anyone, it would be Joanna. She is an amazing mother! She is a jack of all trades. Artistic, crafty, funny, smart, talented, beautiful, determined, loving, patient, kind (...until she is hungry, but I think all Donbro girls suffer from that cranky hunger monster that takes over from time to time). Mostly it goes back to that whole, being an amazing mother bit. What some women strive and wish to be just seems to come naturally to her. In addition to being a great mom, she is an awesome sister. Let's not forget the role she played in last year's 'partially used bottle of Mrs. Buttersworth' costume...what kind of syrup bottle would I be without the proper yellow apron?

Anyway, so main story of this entry. A few weeks ago we had a birthday party for Andrei. Andrei is this kid from church who has some mental impairments (a Little help with the P.C. portion of all of that). He turned 24...or 23, I can't remember, he's younger than me so I tend to forget those people's ages for my own sake. He wanted a Mickey Dance Party themed birthday and somehow (still don't know how it happened) I was put in charge of securing a cake. With some help from Amazon.com and free, speedy delivery, I was able to get a Mickey Mouse cake pan (that Joanna sent me the link for) and then I went to her house so "we" could make it. And by "we" I mean, I'll play with your kids while you slave in the kitchen. Did I mention patient and kind and loving up there in my list?

So here is the baked product. Joanna decided that pound cake would probably make this project better...and who doesn't like pound cake? (Don't answer that, I don't want to have to shun you).

The instructions on the pan said to use lard to grease it, not butter...Jo had already greased it with butter...same difference right? I thought so, Mickey's nose begs to differ.

But much like the human body, these things can be fixed with a little cosmetic work. That was just day one. Day two (Saturday) was jammed packed for both Joanna and me. Saturday morning we had a baby shower (Hi Katie!), then I went to tame my beastly manbrow (I got my eyebrows done) and headed right back to Joanna's house where I followed her to her sister-in-law (my childhood friend), Jessica's house for a birthday cookout. Delicious hot dogs Matt! They tasted just like they had been cooked on a grill, and yet they hadn't been. From there we split up. Joanna to work on the cake, me to work on the cupcakes (in case more people than cake showed up) and to go out to dinner with a group of friends. I went to the house on the way to the party to pick up the finished product and this is what I saw:

My heart swells and bursts* each time I look at this.

Joanna, you beautiful creature, you've done it again. The fame of this cake quickly spread. People who weren't at the party were talking about it on Sunday at church. Even the bishop mentioned to me that he heard I made an awesome cake (which I quickly corrected that my sister had done). So for anyone who didn't get the memo that I didn't make the cake...I didn't make the cake - Joanna did.

Thanks again Beaner!

http://www.nbc12.com/Global/story.asp?S=13356720

I am so excited!

I got tagged.

Special thanks to Katie for tagging me...we'll see how this goes.

4 Things In My Handbag/Backpack/Briefcase:
--Planner that I only use half the time (I was much better about it and to-do lists in college)
--Cell phone (that I never answer)
--Notebook of thoughts
--Checkbook

4 Favorite Things In My Bedroom:
--My fabulous bookshelves from Target (full...I love books)
--My cedar chest I got for my 16th birthday. It's not cedar, but my mom has a cedar one so out of habit...it's cedar.
--I would say my bed, and I still will cause it's what brings the sleep...but man I need a better bed, it's squeaky and I wake up feeling old (which I am...but still, I don't want to feel that way!)
--...

4 Things On My Desk:
Since I don't have a desk at home work's will have to suffice.
--Two computer screens - didn't think I would like that at first but now I wish I had that at work. Makes editing and copying and such SO much easier.
--Telephone - Arch Nemesis we meet again. At least it has caller ID
--Scanner...you're pretty cool, but I can tell you are on your way out
--Halloween candy bowl - thanks for bringing people to my desk so I can make friends, couldn't do it without you.

4 Things I've Always Wanted To Do (but haven't yet):
--Publish a book
--I haven't always wanted to, but I think overall, I would like to get married someday.
--Go to all 50 states (so close!)
--Make a table or other piece of furniture with my own hands

4 Things I Enjoy Very Much At The Moment:
--Spending time with a certain individual who shall rename nameless to protect the innocent
--Writing (in the story, in the blog, in e-mails, I just love to write. I love words and making them show up at my own will).
--My family!!! My goodness I love them and I don't think they realize just how much. I want to squeeze all of them until they can't breath anymore, but I won't cause that would make me sad
--Physical activity. Basketball, Frisbee and Running all seem to be a big part of my life right now and I am just loving it.

4 Songs I Can't Get Out of My Head:
--Ha! Oddly enough "Can't Get You Out of My Head" by Kylie Minogue
--"Lisztomania" by Phoenix
--"Sentimental Guy" by Ben Folds
--"Coney Island" by Good Old War

4 Things You Don't Know About Me:
I would tell you, but then I'd have to kill you...oh ok
--Just realized a few weeks ago that I know the full name of every guy I have kissed (First/Middle/Last)
--To go along with Katie and driving/speeding...I have gone to Driving Improvement School 4 times...they say it is impossible - I say nothing is impossible.
--Really - there's not much you probably DON'T know about me...I don't like to have my wrist touched. Makes my eyes water just at the thought...and I gag when it happens.
--Um, I guess, I don't feel like I live up to my potential and that I don't have the self discipline to ever live up to my potential. I am unhappy in my job but not sure what else to do so I just stay with the job...it's very disappointing. On that happy note...

4 Bloggers I'm Tagging:
I am going to open it up to everyone, but just like Katie requested, if you do it please let me know so that I can go check out your answers (chances are I'll already have checked it out cause I am a stalker, but just in case Blogger doesn't show me that you posted, please let me know).

Not so much here, or here, but right here.*

I

am a brat.

I have known this for quite some time now, I have gotten in fights about it, made coworkers and friends angry, made myself angry. The only people who don't really seem affected are my family members (which means either I've always been this way and they have given up, or they are just as bad as I am, ew - or they love and accept me for who I am...I like that one better). Anyway, since I realize this problem I am trying to be better about it. Not completely eradicating it because I seem to have plenty of friends so I think that they like it somewhat, but sometimes I need to just learn to shut my mouth.

Experiment #1 is currently in progress at work. It began Monday...but then I forgot. So it started over again today. I have done okay so far, all of my smart alec remarks were said while storytelling and people thought they were funny. But I have been e-mailing someone back and forth today about an "ALL" e-mail (that means it goes to everyone in the company). I am supposed to write up the e-mail and send it out, but I've been given key points to address. I wrote back asking for clarification on one said point and this person responded with the answer and then asked me to CC (pretty much - copy) them on the e-mail when I send it out to everyone...to me, you would want to be copied so that you have a copy of the e-mail for your records, which he'll get...cause it's an all e-mail.

I took a deep breath and discussed the issue with my coworker. Her suggestion was to write him back and double check. How the heck do you double check something like that without coming across as a brat?

"You do realize you're going to get this e-mail don't you?"
"Did you mean to ask to be copied on an 'all' e-mail?"
"Is there any polite way to put this?"

...I'm drawing a blank. I am trying not to be a brat, but people make it so easy for me sometimes. I think I have opted to not confirm, I'll just copy him on the e-mail and let myself believe that it is one of those professional things...like copying the hiring manager on an offer letter, even though they won't see it.

When you fall into a bottomless pit you die of starvation.*

20 points for the title

I've had a pretty busy weekend! Friday started out with a birthday dinner for my friend Nick at Cheesecake Factory. I would like to point out here that I don't like the Cheesecake Factory. They are always really busy on the weekends, I don't see what the big deal is about...and I don't eat cheesecake (might be why I don't see what the big deal is about).

Amber, Brittany and I got there about an hour late and our group (which was now to be divided into 3 groups) was still waiting (well, a third had been seated). When the hostess came to tell us that one more table was ready Nick called out that he wanted all the ladies to sit with him. Since it was his birthday dinner how could we object?

He's a smart man. So all the girls went with him and we left about four guys in the foyer. They were eventually seated and they talked politics (...boring). I will give Cheesecake Factory this...our waiter was hilarious. I bet that boy takes home good tips every night because he sure had us laughing.

Saturday was an amazing Temple trip up to Maryland for our stake temple day. A group of us left from my house since I live right by I-95 and to go meet at the church we would have had to go south, then back north...just seems like a waste. So we left around 7:30 a.m. and headed up.

We beat the people from church but we all met up again later. We had an awesome meeting afterwards that was just so wonderful. I had to say the closing prayer...I was so nervous that when the last speaker was up there I was having trouble swallowing...can we say cotton mouth?

While we waited for everyone in our car to finish doing whatever they were doing, Brittany, Bryant and I took random photos in front of the temple...we did get someone to take one of us so we actually had the temple in the background but this is my favorite one. Brittany is just so short...I love it.

On the trip home we stopped at Einstein's to get something for lunch. We ate in the car because we had a lot going on back in Richmond that we needed to get back to.

Me + eating in the car = not so awesome.

I spent most of the rest of the trip leaning against the window or with my head in my lap focusing on my breathing so I wouldn't throw up. We made it through horrible, slow moving traffic and finally crossed the VA state line. I put my head down on my lap and tried to fall asleep. Later, Amber said, "What road am I on?" I sat up, "I thought we were on 95." She said she thought so too, but she wasn't. We passed a sign that said 395...that's not right. I started to look around, none of us knew exactly where we were going and how to get turned around, then someone said, "We're headed north!" Nick said, "I think we're still in Virginia though." I looked to my left and saw the Washington Monument.

I pointed it out to Nick. I don't think we're in Virginia anymore.* Amber turned on the GPS and we took a detour. Bryant called out random, interesting facts about almost everything we were passing (and yes, I have signed on to take a D.C. tour from Bryant, it's about time I actually toured DC and with random tidbits to boot!)

I took pictures like a tourists, three of the Washington Monument, one of some building I can't remember, the DC Police Department's light thingy, some straw man at a stop light, and the pentagon. It was actually pretty funny. I still felt sick and wished we were home...but I would say it was a delightful addition to the day.

Of course, when you get turned around and go north when you meant to go south, it means that when you course correct you're headed straight towards that traffic you already made it through once that day. That part was no bueno. We finally made it home.

Amber, Bryant and I cleaned up the house and Lauren and Erick came over to make dinner. The missionaries came, Brittany came back over and we ate. The missionaries shared a great spiritual thought with us before leaving too, I just love those. After most everyone had left I showed Bryant "Joe vs. the Volcano" because he hadn't seen it but he is in love with Meg Ryan (or Megan or Miss Ryan as he calls her). 'Joe' isn't an Oscar nominated movie or anything, and it's slow at first, but he liked it...not as much as "You've Got Mail" though.

Sunday was church, dinner with the family, and then Amber had some people over for a little farewell for Lauren and Erick who are leaving us on Tuesday. It was fun, but I met my fun quota around 9 and was ready for everyone to leave...the last people left at midnight. It's okay, I slept a little on the couch while they were talking.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love the weekends because that's when life happens.

You didn't get a second opinion on something called a brain cloud?*

A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail but only a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "man that was fun!"

Friends. Can't live with them, can't live without them. Oh wait...that's not how the saying goes. What can I say? I wouldn't be much of who I am without friends (or have much of a reason to be who I am). They are there when you need them, they help you through heartaches, cheer you on through your endeavors, read your blog (yeah...I see you).

I am the queen of having "best friends". I have different ones in different states cause I can't bear the thought of making them give up their title. Heck, I even called the guy who sold me my car, "Best Friend Jim". It doesn't take much to win me over.

My friends are fantastic, they are the people who make my life interesting (and yes, I include my family in with my group of friends because they are my friends...friends that can love or hate me but never get rid of me...never).


I won't name names, because if I were to leave someone out I wouldn't want them to be hurt for any reason. Each friend that I have had, and especially the ones I've been close to, have had a purpose to being in my life. They have all taught me different things, whether it's to look for "No trespassing" signs before hanging out on private property in the middle of the night or to tell me that I need to stop worrying about whether or not I'm "normal".


My good friends:

• Know me better than I know myself (which never stops amazing me)


• They think I am awesome the way that I am (despite the faults I see in myself)


• They'll get my back when I need it


• They'll let me make my mistakes because they know I'm going to do it anyway and they won't say "I told you so" when I fail.


• They tell me to stop saying, "I talk too much"


• They laugh with me when I'm hyper or crazy


• They let me cry when I need to (and then are sure not to mention it later)


• They are happy for me (from getting a house, to a car, to a boyfriend)


• They make me laugh even when I don't feel like laughing


• They get me to do crazy and spontanous things (most of which I don't regret)


• They think of me when they have a crazy story to tell because they know I'll get it


• They wish nothing but the best for me

I can't imagine a life without all of you wonderful people in it whom I can call my friends. I just want to say 'thank you!' to each and every one of you!

I've just had an apostrophe.*

I woke up at 5 a.m. this morning which is funny since I didn't fall asleep until 1 a.m. I tried to go back to sleep but my stomach kept growling. So for the first time in a while, I got out of bed and made myself some breakfast. Eggs, turkey bacon and a buttermilk biscuit. It was only after I finished eating that I thought, "Overkill" who eats like that before 6:00 a.m.?!?
Then the handle to my oven fell off...completely. *Calling like a yodeler sans yodel...so probably just cupping hand to mouth* "Oh Dad!" Can I just throw in here that I am so excited for this week to be over...I probably say that every week, it's because I don't like the weeks, I like the weekends. The weekends are when life happens.

I am still training for that 8k and yesterday I ran three miles. Can I just say that it feels great to run that far? It feels even greater that my back and ankle didn't give out and that I didn't run out of breath...I didn't run out of breath. Thank you Leslie Sansone
for teaching me to breath normally until it gets to difficult and then take a deep breath. I am here to testify that it works! Amen Leslie! Oh, and lengthening the body is very good too. It's funny how it's been so long since I've done one of those videos but I remember the tips as I run around the neighborhood.

It rained Tuesday night and so as I was breathing correctly (through my nose not my mouth - thank you track team) I was able to smell so much. Like the smell of wet, dead leaves that makes me think of cool, fall afternoons and trick-or-treating on Halloween night. I took many deep breaths while running down one road that had the potent smell of fall.

While I was running on the way home I smelled something curious, two things came to mind but they were not similar and it threw me off. I didn't want to smell it again and yet I did, so I sniffed the air and debated...chemical and candy? What could possible trigger memories of both? That was when I was struck with an epiphany...



Nail polish smells like banana Now and Laters.

I hope you hadn't been expecting anything deep. Have a good day!

I just don't get out of the lab very much. Is that a bowtie? I like bowties. I haven't slept in eight days!*

I had a fabulous idea last night. I was talking back and forth with a sick friend on Facebook. I asked him if he was heavily self medicating so that he can make it to Frisbee tomorrow (tonight) and he said he bought an argyle sweater...does that count? I said, "If Vick's vapor rub is woven into the fabric, then yes." That was great idea number one...sure you'll smell funny, but as you sit there, and even more so, as you sweat, you and those around you will have clear nasal passages. Plus, it's argyle, what's not to like?


We continued from there because he decided the sweater wasn't good enough so he'd take NyQuil, benadryl, drink juice and sleep. Something about the NyQuil-benadryl combination worried me, but who am I to say what drugs you can and cannot mix. So I tried to make a joke about not mixing juice and medications. Then he said he would drink soda and I tried to shoot that idea down too...but then I thought, "Cough syrup isn't pop rocks, Lildonbro!" But then...what if it were?!?


Wouldn't that be fun!? You could play with your medicine! Just put the packet in your mouth and listen to crazy party happening in there!


...I'm going to be rich...

It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard... is what makes it great.*

I have about 0% motivation today. Don't worry, I am still working, just not with much motivation to do so. Sometimes I question my job (as you know). Today's adventure was tracking down who was burning popcorn. This is a serious offense...

We got the call from someone downstairs that the people who sublease from us have burned popcorn...again. I went down with the super sniffer to do an olfactory test. Sure enough, our break room didn't have a trace of anything burning and our employees stood near the microwaves while their food cooked. I went across the hall and as I approached the other company's break room I could smell the burned popcorn, wretched smell that it is.

We actually had this problem last week. The main landlord was called in because there was smoke in that area. They found a burned bag of popcorn in the microwave and asked me to send the word along that they shouldn't leave food unattended. The culprit was actually my contact with the sub leasers. She apologized and then said that they had a faulty microwave and that they would be getting a new one. So, when I found we had a similar situation a week later, I e-mailed her about it...

She wrote back to tell me that it was actually Mac & Cheese (funny how similar they smell when burnt). But she has sent out an e-mail and posted signs. Then I got to e-mail my "status report" on the whole burnt situation. ...Thrilling.

Anyhoodle, remember that co-ed basketball league I was talking about? The one I joined but was extremely nervous to do so? Well, last night was our first game. We won 51-25!! Yay! I was very nervous at first, almost to the point where I would have been content to just sit and watch the whole game. But I got out there and started to run back and forth and I felt great! I have to admit, I think training for this 8k has really helped me feel better and more fit. I first noticed it at Frisbee. I feel more agile, I jump more, a run a little more up and down the field. So it was the same with basketball.

I lost my temper got angry was a little frustrated at a few points in the game. The first was when a girl from the other team kept bouncing against me while I had the ball...seriously, it was like a child's toy that walks on it's own but meets resistance against a wall, it just keeps going...my other analogy was the guys from Night at the Roxbury on the dance floor. I was getting so frustrated, the ref finally called something when I dribbled the ball, even though I thought I was dribbling it out of bounds. I surprised myself by throwing the ball at the back of the girl as she walked away. She reminded me of an old roommate I had...one I didn't like. Luckily I could play off the ball thing as I wasn't paying attention when I tossed it to the ref.

The other time was actually multiple times. One of the guys from the other team shoved me around. I'm not trying to get special treatment, if I come into the key I deserved to be shoved around...but shoved around the right way. His way was just uncalled for. He would totally just shove me with his hand, really hard. Finally I started to plant my feet and muscle my way in. It was too late for that guy though, I had his face in my mind and I had it out for him. I got him back...twice. Once I hit the ball away from him and he and his teammate tried to save it from going out of bounds but they failed. The guy pointed at me in that, "But she hit it out" whiny way that guys sometimes do when they are too competitive for their own good. I just smirked. I knew that I didn't hit it out, but I also know that it went out because I knocked it away from him, if that makes sense...my hands were not the last to touch the ball.

The second time was when I was the only one from my team already on the other side of the court (cause we had just made a basket) and same guy comes dribbling down for a lay-up. Not on my watch you shover! Yeah...I may have fouled him, but he didn't make the basket on me, and that's what counts.

I think it's safe to say that I absolute love basketball and have missed it dearly.

Like sand through the hourglass*

Time is running out folks. Halloween is upon us and I haven't a thing to wear! I'm not too worried about it because I have a little faith in myself - I'm hitting 50% for good last minute costume ideas over the last four years.

2006 as Mini-Margaret, my manager at work. People always called me Mini-Margaret - despite the obvious fact that I am anything but her mini. This costume was thought of in advance, I just knew I had to be her for Halloween that year.

2007 - Punky Brewster. It's amazing what kind of costume ideas you can get while you are shopping in the Good Will desperate for a costume idea. Rub and I found the purple vest and the rest is history. This was a last minute costume idea.

2008 - Kissing Booth. The most last minute costume idea I've ever had. It was crunch time, the big day, and I was sitting at work still trying to figure out what I wanted to be that night. Then I decided to be a kissing booth. Grabbed a box from work, took it home, skipped dinner as I cut, colored and glued. Prep time - 45 minutes. (also notice the Kissimmee, FL t-shirt. "Kissimmee and I'll kiss you back."

2009 - A partially used bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's syrup. I had known for a while that this was what I had to be. We had a pancake breakfast once where we decided we would make a short film where all the characters would be food products that come in animal/people form (Aunt J, Mrs. Buttersworth, the honey bear, etc.) We had two bottles of Mrs. Buttersworth on the table and we decided we would remake The Shining with the two bottles being the creepy twin girls...

Since I am well aware that I am white and therefore anything but the color of syrup, I decided that a partially used bottle of Mrs. Buttersworth was more appropriate.

I feel like I have had some good costumes in the past years and am a bit worried that I won't live up to my own personal expectations.

Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what's your costume?

But even an ordinary secretary or a housewife or a teenager can, within their own small ways, turn on a small light in a dark room.*

The teacher not only shapes the expectations and ambitions of pupils; the teacher also influences their attitudes toward their future and themselves. If the teacher loves the students and has high expectations of them, their self-confidence will grow, their capabilities will develop, and their future will be assured. – President Monson

I have had many teachers in my life. I have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly side of them. I am speaking of many different types of teachers; school, church, seminary, institute, life. While most of my teachers have been very good, there are a few who stand out to me above the rest.

The first teacher who really made an impression on me was Mrs. Chervenak. She was my second grade teacher. Mostly, she made learning fun for me. We did spelling practices on our desks with shaving cream (she may also be responsible for why I love the smell of men so much...of course, men might have something to do with that too).

Mrs. Robinson came in third grade and she taught me the invaluable lesson of not interrupting people. Sometimes I still have that childlike impulse to spout out what is on my mind, but I try to hold back, wait a minute, and not to interrupt someone else's conversation. In fact, to this day I am still afraid to interrupt adults speaking to each other...

Mrs. Hobson (and this is probably it for school teachers) was my 5th grade teacher. I had a rough year in fourth grade. I had a bully at lunch, a bully of a teacher (no joke she was almost as bad as the one my age). I was really not feeling the whole self confidence thing. Mrs. Hobson was like the burn cream in the first aid kit. She soothed the damage of fourth grade, she showed confidence in me even when I knew that my fourth grade teacher had told her not to (this is how I know: I applied to be a Safety...yes, a safety, you didn't read that wrong and on my application, which went to Mrs. Hobson, the fourth grade teacher made sure to note that I was 'unreliable'. ...Way to label someone young). I am always grateful for Mrs. Hobson because I feel like she really got the ball rolling on who I was to become as life went on (and yes, I was a Safety and I had the badge and the orange vest thingy too).

I had teachers at church, seminary, and institute as well, who have all shaped who I am.

Sandy Willis taught me great lessons on character and integrity, charity, and so much more. She taught me to judge people off their own merits, not off of what others say. She taught me that the best way to learn and grow was to leave my comfort zone. She also taught me that when things were hard and it seemed nearly impossible to go on that it must mean something spectacular is waiting on the other side of it, basically hope and to never give up. I seriously had never seen someone so happy to hear what a hard time I was having, she would be full of excitement over what must be waiting. She is still around in my life, and as I grow older and stumble around in this life she has also taught me to love people for who they are and never let that change because they slip and fall.

Sister Lansing. She was my seminary teacher my last year. Our motto was "You can do hard things". The thought of her and the memory of her voice saying these words got me through the hike to the top of Mount Timpanogos, through the first semester of college, the first months of every new job and is sure to get me through many more difficult and trying experiences to come.

Oh, I almost forgot one and I certainly can't forget him. I wouldn't have been able to graduate college on time without him! Brother Tatum (Professor Tatum?). Former Californian police officer turned Criminology Professor. I was scared to death of him the first time I took one of his classes, and I don't know what I did, but the next time I took a class from him he thought I was the greatest. Does that not make it easier to in turn, think he is the greatest? His confidence in me helped me to get through the last two grueling semesters of college. I felt safe in sharing my project ideas with him without worrying that he would think they were stupid. He wasn't completely onboard for all of them (the edible Anatomy of a Leader project I proposed, he was skeptical when I asked if I got bonus points for an edible final project - I will post pictures later) he still supported me and trusted me (and he loved my project). Also, he was my education counselor and he helped me to finagle my credits earned in my major to count for my minor (thus getting me out of school before I went nuts).

I am very grateful for many other teachers too. Like I said, I have had a lot of good ones (and bad too - luckily not nearly as many). I have felt the effects that a good teacher can have and I am thankful for all the hard work, effort, and love they put in to teaching others.

You're hot, so hot.*

I promised pictures back on Monday. So here are some pictures from the Mae concert and also some little things I have done around the house (when I say little, I mean little).

First show of Mae's final tour was at the Canal Club downtown. We tried to get a big group together, but despite Mae's beginnings being in the great state of VA, not a lot of Virginians we hang out with knew who they were. Plus it was Orin's birthday dinner - how do you compete with that? (For those of who now think I am a jerk for skipping some one's birthday dinner, keep in mind I had plans to go the concert before the birthday dinner's conception).

At one point I thought it would just be Bryant and me, but then Amber remembered that she had told us she would go. So we at least got one person to abandon the other side.

Disclaimer for my Mae picture. The lighting was horrible. I know, concerts aren't lit up or anything, but every time I tried to take a picture it would come out looking someone like this. I don't know if the lights in the back threw off my flash, or if...or what, cause I can't think of anything else.

It was a great show though. I was worried that I wouldn't know many of the songs cause I kind of pick my favorites and stick to them. But they sang a lot of my favorites so that was great. However, I think I'm getting too old for concerts, I was physically beat by the end. We got there at 8 and the first opening band was still playing (there were three) and then by the time Mae came on I needed to find a place to sit for a while. Every time I go to a concert I am like, "This is awesome!! I hope this is the last song!" But it never is, because everyone does encores now. It was expected for Mae since who knows if we'll ever see them in concert again (reunion tours). At least they only came out once and only sang two more songs. When I went to the U2 concert it was like, "Bono, come on now, three encores is a bit redunkulous don't you think?" Such is life right? ...Maybe.

So on to my teeny, tiny improvements around the house. I've only lived there since the end of February, but I finally decided to hang some stuff up on the walls. Thanks to sister, Joanna, for the donations to the "Make Jessica's house cuter" fund. These are things she used to have up in her old house, but doesn't have the wall space for them now. Ever the baby sister, I'm used to and grateful for "hand-me-downs"

I also hung up my 'Proclamation to the Family' (finally), and Amber and I found some way cute Harvest candle holders. She bought me the three gourds up top on the mantel (those little burning candles are the pumpkin scented candles from Wal-Mart. You can get a pack with three little candles and two big candles for $10...I buy at least one every year.

You can barely see it, but at the bottom right hand corner of the fire place there is a pumpkin candle holder, it holds three or four (five?) candles. I had taken a picture of just it, but for some reason I couldn't find it when I was pulling pictures up this morning.

Anyway, that's kind of what I have been up to lately.

Just bee yourself!*

Yesterday was an experiment on being positive. I think it was a success. I was in a good mood and isn't that what being positive is all about? Apparently not, apparently it also has to do with the things that you say as well. Who would have thought? Sadly though, my personality/sense of humor leads me to say things that are 1. dramatic 2. negative 3. sarcastic. A statement such as, "Trust me, you don't want to eat a handful of mini marshmallows before going running" can apparently be misconstrued as a negative statement, or so I have been told.

But yes, overall yesterday was a good day. Here's how it played out after work. I got home, ate a handful of mini marshmallows (and you thought that statement had no basis in real life) and ran three miles around my neighborhood, about a mile and a half in those marshmallows started to seem like a bad idea, then my ankle started to hurt, then my back joined in...cause I am an old woman and I am rapidly falling apart.

I got home, stretched a little to get rid of the aches, and then ate dinner. Then I went to Frisbee. This is where it gets fun:

• My teammate threw it to me and I had to run, towards a fence, to get it. Out of the corner of my eye I see my friend, Jordan (enemy team) coming for it too. He always knocks it away from me, so I mustered my courage and wouldn't back down. We reached the fence at the same time, my fingers wrapped around the Frisbee right as we ran in to each other. I fell to the ground with the Frisbee still in hand (see...positive).
• I saved a friend's catch that slipped through his fingers, only to be hit in the face with a still pretty powerful Frisbee (no bruise on the nose, just a red mark) but despite the watery eyes and feeling like my nose was broken...I still caught it (p.s. it hurts to even blow my nose today).
• I got a charley horse in my left leg.
• Then I got one in my right leg.
• I tried to help out a team member only to get knocked to the ground when they ran into me (he got it worse though, my elbow went pretty forcefully into his stomach)
• Another pass to me was headed towards the fence, so despite my better judgment I went running for it, I smacked into the fence as the Frisbee did, my fingers grazed it but it was a lost cause. I hit the fence and fell to the ground. When I stood my ankle was cramping. It was bent to the side and I couldn't straighten it and for a moment I thought it was broken. I sat a round out, stretched, forced my foot to straighten and got back in the game. (P.S. I also hit my knee).
• I broke four nails as frisbee and frisbee hit my hands wrong.
• It was an awesome game

If I thought I was an old woman during/after running yesterday I didn't realize this morning would be worse. My knee is bruised and has two red marks that look kind of like a chain link fence...it hurts to bend it today, but I'll keep bending it. I have more running and frisbee tonight so I have to get ready. Anyway, see, when I talk...I don't sound positive, but keep in mind that I think yesterday was awesome!

Kids; Can't live with them, can't shoot them. *

I packed a hearty lunch today and put it in a grocery bag. When I opened it to take out the cheese stick for my "snack" the smell coming from the bag took me back to my school days, mostly elementary and middle school. That was weird and nice at the same time.

Today's "What the mess?" moment is brought to you by the good folks of the second floor (I won't name names/departments). We have what we like to call 'the chair cemetery' it's the place that busted chairs like to go when they die...maybe it should be more like rehab, cause we can bring almost all chairs 'back from the dead'. Anyway, doesn't matter now, because today I went down there to get a count of how many replacement arms we needed for said chairs. I opened the door and was shocked to find a clean and well organized area where before there had been a veritable minefield of broken, dilapidated chairs (...Unchairs). Ever in control of my emotions my lips parted and a singular sound escaped, "Uhhhh." So I walked around a bit looking for my little unchairs, where could they be? Finally I asked someone. Turns out they called some 1-800-Junk number and had all the chairs taken away. These chairs cost hundreds of dollars, fixing the arms or the wheels would cost at most $75 each... Moments like these I wish I could spit the way I spit yesterday morning (being a camel or a llama must be so convenient for moments like these). Now I have to e-mail the chair fixer-upper guy back and tell him to ixnay on the airschay. How does one say such a message without sounding mad/ticked? So far all I have is, "Never mind on the arm counts, I went down to count and someone has taken it upon themselves to toss all the damaged chairs." ...I'll keep working on rewording it.

...and this morning started off so well.

I got a letter from Bryan yesterday and I really liked it. Mostly because he sounded like himself again. They just had transfers and in his last area he was the DL (District Leader) and his minions were stressing him out (we joke about who has more "minions" and I was in the lead). Now he doesn't have any because in his new area he is not the district leader, he's just someone else's minion. I have to say I really noticed the difference from his last letter. It was like comparing a dark, wintry day to a bright, spring one...no joke. He hurt his ankle a while back (I believe it was in basketball but he alluded to soccer in this last letter, which sounds more like him anyway). It's healing rather nicely and he doesn't have to wear the brace as much. He got to play the equivalent of Bocce Ball with some people - I looked up Bocce Ball on Google since I have never played it.

...I don't know, seems like an "old" person's game - I wrote back and told him I would hurry up with the promised adult diapers I have been meaning to send him cause it looks like he will need them sooner than I originally anticipated.

I'm a llama! I'm a llama!*

It's Monday again and it's raining again.

This weekend was really nice. I went to the Mae concert on Friday (pictures to come) - it's their final tour so I had to do it. I ran three miles Saturday morning (in training for that 8k), spent time with my family, ran a few errands, spent time with friends, cleaned my room (hallelujah!), and that's all I can remember. The weather was great; I even broke a sweat on Saturday when I was driving around. I got my oil changed (that's my big productive thing from this weekend). It was months overdue.

Last night I wasn't feeling well. From 7:30-9:30 I drifted in and out of sleep and finally at 9:30 I decided to stop fighting it. I brushed my teeth, got in my PJs, said my prayers and climbed into a nice, warm bed. Occasionally I woke up, my roommate had people over, so every once in a while they pulled me abruptly from my sleep; then my friend sent me a text message - which didn't even make sense (they never actually do) so I put on my iPod and cranked it up to block out all the little noises. I slept straight through until 7:30 this morning. The reason I woke up? You know when people have dreams where they are going to the bathroom only to wake up in the middle realizing that it was just a dream, but they are wetting their bed? Well, it's wasn't that. I had a dream I was brushing my teeth and I went to spit into the sink...and I really spit. Gross, I know, but at least my bladder didn't betray me. I think actually spitting kind of shocked me and so I woke up. Seriously hope that never happens again. I feel like a camel.

Aside from feeling sick - the weekend was pretty good. It was conference weekend so that's always a plus. On Sunday, President Monson was speaking and he quoted a lot from the "Attitude of Gratitude" talk (the talk I am following for my Sunday blog entries). It was really cool to be able to finish his sentences for him, I hadn't realized I remembered the wording of his talk so well. Then later he was speaking again and he quoted Frost. He said two lines from a poem and I turned to my mom and said, "Frost, right?" (Because my mom knows everything). She started to say it was from a song, but then realized those words weren't from the song. She went and looked it up and she came back to confirm that I was right...that was exciting...I am a little intelligent.

I have pictures, just not with me, that I will post. Some Halloween decor around the house and a little crafty project my mom and I did (oh and the Mae concert). Of course, the crafty project will show you how I am excited to do something and then get bored and tired of it...is there some kind of mental exercise I can do that will help me from giving up on projects? I'd really like to follow some through someday.

There was a spider in the office this morning, right outside of our conference room and Wanda told me to kill it. Me?! Kill a spider?! I grabbed a bunch of paper towels, prepared to kill it. Then I looked at it, it was no bigger than a dime but I worried that somehow it would attack me, or that I would feel it's little body beneath the three wadded up paper towels. I grabbed a trash can to catch the body but then realized I wanted that thing dead, I didn't want it to be like JAWS (not the first one but the one where it hunts the guy's family cause the shark can smell shared DNA....amazing) and come back to attack me and my children's children's children*. So I went to Gordon and knocked on his door and asked him to do me a really odd favor. He laughed and killed it really well, there's even a little smear on the wall to prove that this spider is gone (or is standing behind me as I type with only six legs and three eyes - thoroughly pissed).

Today - we are back to cold and rainy...well, back to rainy; the cold is kind of new. I am wearing a sweater - this is actually pretty exciting. I love sweaters; I love how they cover up my fat rolls. Fall and winter are my favorite seasons. I'd love them even more if I was independently wealthy and didn't have to work. It's so hard to get up in the morning when the sun doesn't seem to even want to rise.